


Only the Chosen Survived

by fems



Series: Survival Series [4]
Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-23
Updated: 2016-10-02
Packaged: 2018-05-08 18:32:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 30
Words: 138,871
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5508350
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fems/pseuds/fems
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>All Sam wanted was to go home but readjusting to life on Earth is more difficult than expected. Nothing is the same and she doesn't know who to trust and what she wants anymore, other than keeping her daughter safe. Jack knows exactly what he wants and makes sure he's there for them, even before he learns the truth.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
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</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is the fourth and final part of the Survival Series. I'm still writing the final few chapters but there were so many requests for an early Christmas present that I decided I'd give you all the first chapter.

**Stargate Command**   
**Colorado Springs, CO**   
**November 12, 1999**

Jack pushed open the heavy door with his shoulder and cautiously made his way into the quarantine room. The usual precautions had been taken according to Fraiser but it looked a bit more extreme to him with all the protocols and the plastic bubble she'd told him was behind the curtain. Probably because of how long Sam had been off-world.

After the door had closed, he walked up to the curtain and peeked inside. "Ready for a visitor?"

"Jack," Sam said, relief sounding in her voice.

"Hey." He smiled at her and was pleased when she returned the gesture. She was dressed in the dreaded hospital gown, sitting on an infirmary bed and looking incredibly out of place. Her daughter was leaning against her side. "So, can I come in?"

Sam's smile widened and she nodded, beckoning him over with her hand. "Technically, you're already in the room."

Yanking the curtain to the side, he stepped up to the bubble. "Well, yeah, but there's still this… barrier. I didn't want to intrude, in case you ladies weren't decent yet."

"The Doctor brought us these gowns to replace our clothes," she said, smoothing a hand over her thigh. "It feels strange."

"Didn't know we had them in kid size."

"One of the nurses had to cut their smallest for it to fit Ife."

Jack couldn't help but smile when he looked at the adorable girl, who was alternating between looking at him and shyly turning her face into Sam's side. The gown was still too large on her tiny frame and her little feet barely peeked out at the bottom. "Well, I'm sure the Doc will get you regular clothes soon, after you've been examined."

Sam ran a gentle hand over Ife's arm as she looked down at her daughter. "Earth clothes will probably feel just as strange."

"Two years is a long time," he said softly.

"Two years, three months and two weeks. I saw the date on my chart."

"Yeah."

There was sadness and something else he couldn't define in her eyes when she looked at him. "It feels like a lifetime ago."

He nodded, although he couldn't imagine what it was like for her. The only comparison he could make was from when he'd returned from Iraq, after four months as a POW. At the time, a lot had happened and it seemed like everyone had moved on which angered him, but it really paled in comparison to two years. "You've been through a lot."

"But I'm home now," Sam said, as if having to remind herself. Pulling her daughter even closer, she sighed, " _We're_ home now."

"And you're safe. Both of you."

Her smile was wan, but there was gratefulness mixed into it. "Thanks to you."

Jack took the two of them in and shook his head. "Think nothing of it."

"I know it must have cost you, Jack."

"Not as much as what Grieves did to you," he countered.

She sighed, "Jack…"

He held up his hand to stop her from saying anything else. It hadn't been repaying a favor he didn't even owe and they both knew it. But he didn't want to examine his motives for bringing her back too closely. Not now. The most important thing was that she – and Ife – were home and unharmed. "It was worth it, Sam."

She opened her mouth to reply but then his alarm went off and she just looked at him inquiringly.

"Crap," He turned off the watch's alarm and sent her an apologetic look. "Sorry, I've got to go. Hammond had to call the President and told us to get back, well, now, for a debriefing."

"That's okay. The nurses took our things and said the Doctor would be back soon for our examination."

Jack knew, having briefly spoken to Fraiser when he asked permission to visit Sam. "I know. I'll be back later, okay?"

Sam smiled and seemed to relax a bit. "I'd like that."

"Want me to bring anything with me? I could smuggle in some good food."

She laughed and indicated the plastic. "Somehow, I doubt that."

* * *

Doctor Fraiser flipped through some pages on the chart, a small frown on her forehead. "I don't know if you remember this Captain, but before you went on your mission you underwent a pre-mission medical exam. Back then I told you we use the pre-mission exams as baselines for the post-mission exams and I have yours, from two years ago, here."

"Guess things have changed in that time."

"Very much so." Fraiser stopped writing and looked up when Ife giggled and her expression softened. "Not in the least because of your daughter, I'd imagine."

Sam reached for the blood pressure cuff Ife was playing with and took it away, before pulling her into her lap, holding her close. "But I thought you said everything looked good?"

"I said the initial exam didn't give me any cause for serious concerns. Your vitals, while slightly deviating from your last ones, are within normal limits. However, you're underweight, have very little body fat and considering your medical history, I wouldn't be surprised if you are actually anemic now. We'll know more once those blood samples I took have been analyzed."

"So, we have to wait?"

The Doctor nodded and laid the chart down. "Yes, for now. Some of the tests will take longer than usual. Aside from the normal blood tests, we'll also have to check for any contagions and that might take a bit longer. You've been gone for a long time, living on several different planets from what I've heard. Who knows what you or your daughter picked up in that time – we can't risk the two of you being carriers to alien strains that could infect others here."

"We haven't come down with anything."

"When was the last time Ife was sick?"

Frowning, Sam tried to recall a time. Only to realize there were none. "She's never been sick."

Doctor Fraiser's eyebrows rose in surprise. "Never?"

"No. She's never had a fever or even a cold."

"What about you, Captain? When was the last time you came down with something, aside from the infection to your gunshot wounds?"

"Well, there was this one time when I had a bad reaction to the water I drank. But that's the only time I can recall."

The CMO reached for the chart again and made some notes. "Do you remember how long ago this was?"

She shook her head, having already explained how difficult it was to keep track of time off-world. "No, but it was shortly after I used Thor's Hammer to kill Herit – the Goa'uld inside of me. It was on a Jaffa planet, so they all had symbiotes to filter the water for them. It took me a while to realize it was the water that made me sick and then I asked Bra'tac to get me the materials I'd need to make a portable water filter. It hasn't happened since then."

"Okay, so after you lost the Goa'uld. Before or after Ife was born?"

The fear of losing the baby she was carrying flashed through her as she thought back to that day, making her shudder. "Before. Ife's never had unfiltered water."

"Okay. Well, this is definitely interesting. Perhaps the naquadah left behind by Herit strengthens your immune system," Fraiser mused aloud. "My daughter has naquadah in her blood too and she's never had a cold, either. I wonder if your bloodwork will be similar to hers. It's definitely intriguing and I'll make sure to make a note of additional blood analysis."

Rubbing her daughter's back, Sam sighed. "Are we talking days? Longer?"

"I really can't say at this time, Captain."

"And we'll have to remain quarantined until you know."

Doctor Fraised looked at her with sympathy in her eyes but nodded in confirmation. "I know this probably isn't the homecoming you were expecting."

Sam shrugged. "I figured there'd be a quarantine. Wasn't sure how long it would take and I have no idea how Ife will handle it." She sighed and briefly glanced at her daughter, who was leaning heavily against her. "She's been… different. Ever since Jack, er, Colonel O'Neill, and his team came for us she's been very quiet and a bit shy. It's not like her."

"It's a major adjustment for her, too."

"I guess… But it's not like she's not used to traveling and settling into strange places."

"Maybe she just needs some time, Captain."

The first few days on Utcha Ife had been unsettled and Sam had blamed it on there being no Jaffa around, aside from Bra'tac. Before they arrived on that planet there had been a string of Jaffa worlds and they'd also spent a lot of time with the growing Jaffa Rebellion. Sensing someone's symbiote still felt strange to Sam but it was all Ife knew, so she'd figured that was the problem when there were only humans around. Holding her close often helped, since they both had naquadah in their blood. Sam idly wondered if that would show up in the blood tests – or would one have to be searching for it?

There were no Jaffa on Earth, with the exception of Teal'c. But Sam had expected Ife to have gotten used to being around humans after all the time they spent on Utcha. Of course, it was also possible Ife sensed Sam's tension and reacted to it… "Some food and sleep will probably do her good," she said.

"I would like to examine her before a nap. Do you think she can hold out a bit longer?"

"Yeah, that won't be a problem," Sam said, stroking her daughter's hair. "She'll need to be fed first, anyway."

Doctor Fraiser smiled as she watched them. "Are you breastfeeding?"

She nodded and lifted Ife from her lap, placing her next to her on the bed. "Yeah, breastfeeding seemed safest, but she'll occasionally drink juice or filtered water too. And she usually eats some fruit or vegetables too."

"What did your usual diet consist of?"

"Well, fruits, nuts, seeds and vegetables mostly," Sam said. "It really depended on the planet we were on. When there was small game we'd try to eat some meat every few days. Fish was something we'd eat too, but poultry was rarer. Sometimes we also had grains and flour and made bread or the alien equivalent of it."

The Doctor turned another page on the chart and presumably wrote down the diet Sam had been living on for the past two years. "That doesn't surprise me considering your vitals and low body fat."

Sam watched as the woman started collecting the items she'd need to examine Ife. "So, we're done?"

"Well, I'd still like to take some x-rays of your shoulder and hip," she said, referring to their earlier conversation about Sam's injuries from the shooting, "but I'm afraid that will have to wait until we get the portable x-ray machine from the Academy Hospital."

"I told you, I doubt you'll be able to see anything. There was no sign of either wound after I came out of the sarcophagus."

Doctor Fraiser nodded, "Yes, we've had some experience with our people using sarcophagi, but I still need to take those x-rays. However, for now I'll focus my attention on your daughter. I might need your help to keep her calm…"

* * *

Major Davis was taking center stage at the debriefing, going over the statements both Moac and Bra'tac had made, but Jack's mind was elsewhere. Namely a few levels up to the infirmary, where Sam and her daughter had been taken into quarantine.

Of all the ways he'd imagined their reunion to go, her showing up with a baby hadn't been one of them.

God, he couldn't imagine what she must have gone through! He'd thought living off-world with Bra'tac was rough, but add a little baby to the mix… Jack couldn't believe she'd managed to survive. The thought of Sam having to escape the Goa'uld while heavily pregnant, being forced to give birth off-world and being on the run with an infant for so long was just incomprehensible.

"… anything to you, Colonel?" General Hammond's voice interrupted his train of thought. "Colonel O'Neill?"

"Sir?"

"I was asking if Captain Carter had mentioned anything about a child to you during the few meetings you've had."

Jack shook his head, still wondering why she hadn't done so. "No, Sir. I was as surprised as everyone else when she showed us her daughter."

Hammond seemed pleased by that, as if he'd suspected Jack had kept it from him. "And the child is Captain Carter's?"

"Well, um, she didn't actually say," Daniel said slowly, a pensive look on his face. "But-"

"Oh, I'd say so," Jack said, interrupting him. His teammates probably hadn't gotten a good look at the girl, but he'd caught a glimpse of her face before she turned away shyly and even more up close when he briefly took her from Sam. "Pretty unmistakable with those eyes."

"Captain Carter and the girl shared a connection only known between mother and child," Teal'c stated.

The General sighed and made some notes before he looked up again. "I suppose we'll know more once Doctor Fraiser has finished the medical examination of both Captain Carter and the girl."

Major Davis looked to Hammond, "We're going to need to get a birth certificate and social security number for the child, Sir. I'll go through the usual channels at the Pentagon to obtain them the way we normally do for aliens residing on Earth."

"Um," Daniel spoke up, "maybe this is a dumb question, but shouldn't we ask Sam how old she is first?"

"We will have to get creative with the child's birth date regardless, Doctor Jackson."

"Ife," Jack said, clearing his throat. "The girl's name is Ife."

Major Davis nodded and made a note of it, "We'll have to ask Captain Carter about paternity, too."

Jack was taken aback by the man's insensitive remark and at the same time relieved Sam wasn't present to hear it, but before he could say anything about it Hammond spoke.

"I don't think that will be necessary until we have spoken with Doctor Fraiser, Major."

"But Sir-"

"Considering what Sam has, um, been through at the hands of the Goa'uld, I don't think we have to guess or even confront her with that question," Daniel said a little defensively.

It reminded Jack that Sam's situation had to affect Daniel too and not only because he and Sam had been pen pals – it probably hit a little too close to home, after Sha're.

"I appreciate your concerns Doctor Jackson," Davis said, "but I think it's important there is no room left for speculation."

"I concur with Daniel Jackson."

Hammond nodded in reply to Teal'c's comment. "We will speak with Doctor Fraiser about Captain Carter and her daughter's health first. Perhaps they have already discussed the subject of paternity during the examination."

"If that is not the case though, we will need to broach it with Captain Carter, General."

"Oh, come on, Davis," Jack said, unable to stay silent. "What, do you want the birth certificate to say 'Skaara, host to the Mighty Warrior Klorel and son of Apophis, date of birth unknown and born on Abydos' under the box of father?"

"Colonel O'Neill makes a good point, Major," Hammond said. "The father's information cannot be listed and will simply say 'unknown'. Therefore, I see no reason to question Captain Carter about the child's paternity at this moment. Perhaps once they have settled in and the Captain's state of mind has been evaluated we could broach the subject. But I will leave the professionals to make that judgement."

Major Davis nodded and made some more notes. "Yes, Sir."

"Do the rest of Moac and Master Bra'tac's statements confirm what we suspect happened on Captain Carter's first mission?"

"Yes, they also support what Colonel O'Neill already learned from Master Bra'tac and Captain Carter a year ago."

Daniel frowned, "I thought Sam's name had already been cleared."

"It was, Doctor Jackson. However, my superiors might not be too pleased if their statements contradicted any of the information previously obtained."

Teal'c raised an eyebrow at the General's reply, "It has been more than two years since Captain Carter disappeared from P3X-425 and since then, she has spent much time with Master Bra'tac and Moac. Could they not have colluded to ensure their statements would support one another?"

The Major seemed shocked at the suggestion and he gaped a few seconds, as if trying to find the right words. "But… but do you think they would do such a thing?"

"Of course not, Davis," Jack said, making a dismissive wave with his hand. "Jaffa, and Bra'tac and Moac in particular, take their honor very seriously. Teal'c is just playing devil's advocate."

"Captain Carter doesn't need to worry about charges being brought against her. Thor has retrieved the device Lieutenant Colonel Grieves claimed she had stolen, the med kit, removed bullet and other evidence SG-1 retrieved from P3X-425 and all that combined with their statements are more than enough to clear the Captain's name, especially in light of Grieves' affiliations," Hammond said.

Major Davis nodded in agreement. "She is free to go once Doctor Fraiser determines the quarantine is no longer necessary. Well, we'd have to rectify her death certificate, grave, identity papers and financials first and inform her next-of-kin…"

The General took over again, sighing heavily. "Unfortunately, Captain Carter's father passed away a little over a month ago and that leaves only her brother, who I will inform of the situation personally after I've spoken to the Captain."

"What's the cover story for the outside world, Sir?" Jack had already discussed it some time ago with Hammond, but that had been before they knew about Sam's daughter.

"We'll stick to an undercover mission on foreign territory, Colonel. As for the child, well, I think I'll leave that explanation up to Captain Carter herself. I wouldn't want to presume about the details she's willing to share." General Hammond then turned back to Davis. "Did Master Bra'tac relay any other relevant information? For instance, about the Jaffa Rebellion?"

Major Davis made a face and looked down at his notes. "I got the impression Master Bra'tac is a Jaffa of few words, Sir. He didn't deem it important to… elaborate. Not even when I asked. To be honest, I was pleased he even finished his statement about Captain Carter, short as it may be."

Jack grinned at that and even Teal'c seemed to suppress a smile. "Sounds like the old coot, Sir."

"Sam did mention something about journals," Daniel said. "I'm sure she can tell us more about the Jaffa Rebellion, especially if she made notes."

"Well, she _is_ a scientist," Jack admitted, "and from what I've seen, they tend to make notes of everything. Detailed notes, Sir."

"That might very well be the case. A debriefing with Captain Carter will follow once Doctor Fraiser gives the okay and I'm sure the Captain has many tales to tell," General Hammond said. "For now, though, her health and that of her daughter are what matters most."


	2. Chapter 2

**Shopping Mall**   
**Colorado Springs, CO**   
**November 15, 1999**

The store was big. Bigger than he remembered from the last time he'd done this. He pulled off his sunglasses and looked around. Had there been so much stuff all those years ago? As usual, the memory of his family – his son – was accompanied by that all too familiar ache and he sighed, turning to his friend. "Maybe this wasn't such a good idea."

"Why not, Jack?" Daniel made a vague gesture with his hand to encompass the store, "Sam's going need most of this for the baby."

"But there's… so much."

Daniel took another good look around and made a face. "Yeah. I'm not even sure where to begin."

Jack held up his hands at his questioning look. "Hey, what are you looking at me for? This was your idea."

"Well, sort of. I just said that Sam would need a lot of basic things for the baby," he replied. "You're the one that wanted to go buy them."

"She's still in quarantine – it's not like she can go out and buy them herself."

"Did you ask Sam?"

He shook his head. "Nah, I checked in after our post-mission exam but then Hammond came to visit, so I gave them some privacy. I think he wanted to tell her about her dad."

"Oh. Well, maybe we should have waited and get Janet to do it or something."

"But she needs this stuff now, not days later or whenever the Doc will lift the quarantine."

Sighing, Daniel indicated the first aisle. "Where do we start? You've done this before."

Jack narrowed his eyes at him and briefly wondered why he'd taken him along again. Oh right, appearances. He'd thought it might look strange if he bought Sam and Ife things, so he figured he'd make it a team thing. Except Teal'c was in the infirmary, still recovering from their mission to Bedrosia, and Daniel was the only other teammate he currently had. "That was more than a decade ago," he reminded him. "Besides, I was little bit preoccupied behind enemy lines at the time. Sara did it pretty much on her own."

"Oh, I'm sorry."

"It's fine," he said, dismissing the apology. "Diapers, she's gonna need diapers."

Daniel got them a shopping cart and found the right aisle. "What kind?"

Jack eyed the high stacks of colorful packaging and noticed the numerous brands. "Haven't got a clue."

"There are different sizes."

"D'oh."

Daniel rolled his eyes and gestured at a brand that used a cheeky baby on the front. "What size do you think she needs? Maybe we should have waited for Janet..."

Jack stepped closer and eyed the labels, while thinking back to three days ago when he found Sam and her little girl on Utcha. "Fraiser is still trying to figure out how old she is and couldn't have shared any medical information with us anyway," he said. But he'd held Ife, however briefly. "I'd say she didn't weigh more than twenty pounds."

"This one then?"

"No, she's at least a year old, that much I could tell," he said and lifted the one for fifteen months and up.

Daniel watched as he put the diapers in the cart. "Are you sure?"

He shrugged, "She's probably underweight, but I'd think bigger is preferable over too small. And any diapers is better than none. Um, we're gonna need more than one of these, Daniel."

"One more?"

"Do you have any idea how many diapers a toddler uses? Make it four. We can always get more later."

After lifting them in the cart, Daniel looked around. "What else?"

"Some basic onesies, socks, and a soft blanket," Jack said. The poor kid had still been wearing a cut-off infirmary gown earlier that morning. "Diaper cream, baby shampoo, baby lotion… A stuffed toy or two, maybe a pacifier-"

"A bottle?"

"Um," he stopped walking. "I don't know. I think she breastfeeds."

Daniel frowned and waved his hand in front of his chest, "But wouldn't she need to, you know, use one of those things to express milk?"

"We should let Fraiser handle that."

"Good idea."

They continued moving around the store, tossing everything that looked remotely useful in the cart. "We should get one of those baby carriers too."

"Oh, I think I saw one that doubles as a car seat over there," Daniel said.

* * *

**Stargate Command**   
**Colorado Springs, CO**

Sam let out a sigh of contentment as the water turned off. One of the things she'd missed most about Earth, were the showers. Of course, the one in the infirmary wasn't the same as the fantastic shower she'd had in her apartment in DC, but it was a shower with hot water regardless.

Reaching for the towels she'd laid out, she patted her hair dry before wrapping a towel around it and used the other one to towel herself dry. She smiled when she caught sight of Ife – fast asleep – in her makeshift bed in the corner of the small bathroom. Her daughter was suffering from some rashes on her body and the steam from the bathroom always calmed her down, probably because it softened the skin and lessened the itching. Still, even without that benefit, Sam wouldn't have left Ife alone.

Sam slipped on the dreaded scrubs she'd been given to wear and pushed Ife's makeshift bed out of the bathroom. She suspected the 'bed' was actually a drawer from one of the large filing cabinets in the infirmary, but it fit – and Sergeant Siler had put wheels on it, so Sam could easily move it around the plastic bubble and ensuite bathroom.

"Samantha!"

She looked up at the sound of her name and it took her a moment to identify the woman in the scrubs and mask. "Catherine!"

Catherine Langford entered the bubble and came up to hug her. "Oh, it is so good to see you, my dear."

"You too," she replied, awkwardly returning the embrace.

"I had a hard time believing the news… and I still can't believe you're actually here!"

Sam shifted uncomfortably as Catherine continued to stare at her. "Well… I am."

Although her mouth was hidden behind the mask, it was obvious Catherine was smiling, her eyes shining warmly. "Wonderful, Samantha."

"Who told you I was back?"

"I heard rumors through the grapevine when I came in to work on Friday, so I asked Daniel and Jack and they confirmed it. It took some wrangling to get permission to visit you, but here I am."

Sam nodded in understanding, still a bit overwhelmed by it all. It was only her third day back, but so much had changed… "You're, um, still working at the Pentagon?"

"Oh heavens no," Catherine said, chuckling. "After you went missing, the SGC asked for my help in rewriting some of the dialing computer's protocols."

"They knew you were the only one familiar with my work…"

"Yes, I was able to make the changes post haste, but soon after Gary transferred here too and he became my right-hand man."

Sam smiled at the mention of Doctor Gary Meyers, a civilian contractor with PhDs in computer science and math, with whom they'd worked together at the Pentagon. "His family must have been happy to move out here."

Catherine nodded and gestured towards the plastic foldup chairs that some orderlies brought in this morning before General Hammond visited Sam. "Oh yes, you remember his wife didn't like Washington DC? They have a lovely house not far from the base now, with plenty of space for their two children."

"That's, um, nice."

"I spoke to him this morning and he said he'd try to visit you later this week. Doctor Fraiser is keeping the daily visitors to a minimum."

"I know, I asked her to," Sam confessed, as she took a seat on one of the chairs. "It feels… strange. To have people walking in and out of here at all hours. It makes me feel like I'm on display, or something."

Catherine leaned over and gently patted Sam's hand with her gloved one in a comforting gesture. "I understand. I hope you don't mind her letting me through, though."

"Of course not, Catherine. You're always welcome."

"Good. Gary also informed John and Robert about your return and they were so happy to hear you're home! I'm sure they'll be in touch soon."

John Friesen was one of the engineers at the Xenophysics Department and Major Robert Bennet was specialized in applied physics. Sam hadn't thought about them in over two years and it was strange to suddenly be reminded of the life she used to live, before… everything. "That's, um, nice."

The look in Catherine's eyes turned more serious and sympathetic, "I know, you probably have a lot of other things on your mind." She fell silent for a moment, before she spoke again, hesitantly. "General Hammond told me he spoke to you this morning."

"Yeah." Sam looked down at her hands and swallowed hard, the grief still raw. "My dad… he died. Just a few weeks ago. Lymphoma," she added, tears burning her eyes. "I didn't even know he had cancer."

"Oh, I am so sorry, dear," Catherine said, leaning over to embrace her.

Sam returned the hug awkwardly, trying to take comfort from the gesture but finding it difficult to lower her defenses. Instead, she sniffled and forced the tears away, before pulling back. "Thank you, Catherine."

The older woman patted her knee and was about to say something, when Ife made a noise as she yawned loudly. "Oh my."

"She's probably hungry."

"I wasn't sure whether to believe the stories…"

Sam looked up at the comment as she lifted Ife. "About my daughter?"

Catherine watched them as Sam made her way back to her chair. "Quite frankly, yes."

"Well, I don't know what rumors are floating around, but she's mine."

"She's beautiful, Samantha." Catherine chuckled as Ife grabbed her outstretched hand. "What's her name?"

Sam smiled when Ife giggled and held her tight. "Ife."

"You have your mommy's eyes, Ife."

"She's shy," Sam said when Ife turned away and pressed her face against Sam's side.

Catherine leaned back in her chair, a grandmotherly look in her eyes. "No wonder, after everything you two must have gone through."

She shrugged. "I think it's just all the new impressions."

"It took Ernest quite some time to adjust, although it had been much longer for him of course."

"How is Ernest doing?" Sam asked, latching onto the new subject. Anything to avoid more questions about what had happened off-world and how they were handling it.

"He is doing well. Much better than when he first came back. He still doesn't like to go to crowded areas and can sometimes retreat into himself at home, but his progress is one of the reasons I stayed at the SGC and stopped my work at the Pentagon," she explained. "He would've come with me but he doesn't like being underground."

"I'm glad to hear he's doing better."

Catherine reached out again and trailed a finger down Ife's arm. "Is that a rash?"

Sam nodded and let out a deep sigh, eyeing the bed. "Yes, Doctor Fraiser doesn't think it's an infection, but more likely from the laundry detergent or maybe the body wash I used the other day."

"Oh, yes, Ernest suffered from a lot of irritated skin too after he returned."

"The Doctor thinks it started because I washed the dirt from Ife's skin."

Catherine seemed to understand, "It was a natural protective barrier and now her skin is vulnerable, both to irritants and infection."

Sam felt bad about causing her daughter such discomfort. At least she hadn't taken Ife into the shower and washed her from head to toe; she'd only used the washcloth on her little girl's arms before noticing the rash. "The steam from the shower seems to lessen the itching for a while."

"You're not experiencing the same rash?"

"No, I wanted to wash up Ife first. Doctor Fraiser told me to only use water and no body wash to clean myself up after that. So far, I'm fine, although the sheets are kind of itchy."

Catherine suddenly stood up. "That reminds me! I brought you something." She walked over to the entrance of the bubble where something colorful was lying on the tray that was normally used to place meals on. "I made a lot of these for Ernest and when I heard you were coming home, I made you one, too."

Sam watched as she unfolded a colorful quilt. "A quilt?"

"I only work part-time and have hobbies other than doing research, Samantha," she said, chuckling. "Ernest likes the quiet, so some days he just reads a book or tells me about his time on Heliopolis while I quilt."

"And you made one for me?"

She nodded. "I only use organic cotton with natural dyes because of Ernest's skin sensitivity. I can make one for Ife, too."

Sam got up, placing Ife on one hip, and walked up to Catherine. "Thank you. That's very sweet of you."

"It's the least I can do, dear."

"It's beautiful."

Catherine looked pleased and moved over to the bed, placing the quilt on it. "I hope it'll feel better than those scratchy infirmary sheets. Goodness knows how much industrial detergent they use to clean those."

It was cool in the infirmary and Ife was only wearing a thin cut-off paper gown, so Sam walked over to the bed and wrapped Ife in the quilt. It turned out Ife wasn't hungry yet and since Catherine showed no signs of leaving, Sam desperately searched for a topic. She'd always been terrible at small talk but it was preferable over talking about what she'd been through. "So, Catherine, tell me about all the gossip I've missed while I was gone."

* * *

**Stargate Command**   
**Colorado Springs, CO**

Jack watched as Sam dug into the bowl of jello he'd smuggled into the plastic bubble, pleased to see a smile, however small, on her face. "Good?"

"Oh yeah," she said, in between bites. "God, I've missed Earth food."

"I don't think jello qualifies as actual food."

She rolled her eyes but the smile still tugged at her lips. "How did you know I liked blue jello? Most people seem to go for red."

"Hey, there's nothing wrong with red jello," he said.

"Jack…"

He shrugged, stuffing his hands in the pockets of his BDU pants. "I have my sources."

Sam stopped, spoon halfway to her mouth, a small frown on her forehead. "Catherine?"

"Maybe."

"Mmhmm."

Jack didn't say anything when she continued to look at him. After a minute or two she just shook her head and went back to eating the dessert he'd brought her. She was clearly enjoying the treat and it was good to see such a small gesture lift her spirits. Mission accomplished. He hated seeing her behind the plastic, especially in light of what she'd already gone through at the hands of the Goa'uld. It might not be a prison cell, but her movements were still restricted and this far underground there was no daylight, either.

"What?"

He looked up at her question and couldn't hold back a smile at the curiosity on her face. It reminded him of the day they first met, when he'd challenged her to a game of pool. He figured she didn't really want to know what had been on his mind, though. "Nothin'. Was just wondering where the munchkin is."

Setting down the empty bowl, Sam gestured towards the bed. "She's asleep."

"Ah." The curtain around the bed was drawn so he couldn't see the baby.

"Thank you, by the way."

"For what?"

Sam gave him a slightly exasperated look, as if she could see right through his act. "Doctor Fraiser told me you went out and bought those things for Ife."

He shrugged, "It was Daniel's idea."

"Still, you didn't have to."

"Well, you weren't going anywhere and I figured you could use some of those things."

She smiled gratefully and looked away, presumably to watch her daughter. "That was very thoughtful of you, Jack."

The door opening and sound of clicking heels announced the CMO's arrival and it made him bite his tongue. Looking over his shoulder, he gave her a nod. "Doc."

"Sir," Fraiser said, stopping at his side. "Captain."

"Doctor."

The Doc looked from him to Sam and back, as if wondering if she'd interrupted something. When no one said anything else, she sighed. "It's time for our meeting with General Hammond, Sir."

Jack automatically checked his watch. He'd known there would only be a few minutes to see Sam but his visit still felt too short. "Right. Gotta go."

"Thank you… Colonel," Sam said. "For dropping by."

"Sure, anytime. Doc, lead the way."

Fraiser turned on her heel and exited the room with him, waiting until they were out in the corridor before she spoke again. "She's right, Sir. It was very thoughtful of you."

Uncomfortable with the implications, he shrugged. "Someone had to do it."

"Not everyone would have paid for it themselves."

"Daniel?"

She smirked, "Yes, Sir."

Damn that guy and his big mouth. "Well, we don't exactly have an emergency fund for this kind of situation, do we? It's not like Captain Carter could've handed me her credit card."

"I suppose not."

Jack knew she wasn't buying it. But what was she going to do or say about it? He'd do whatever the hell he damn well pleased with his own money. He made more than enough money considering his expenses; what else would he spend it on? At least this way, he could get Sam and her kid the bare essentials until Sam's finances had been handled. "So, the meeting with Hammond…"

Fraiser rolled her eyes but didn't comment on his change of subject. "In five minutes, Sir."

"You got all the test results back?"

She gave him a look that made lesser men cower as they waited for the elevator. "Colonel…"

"Fine, fine," he said, sighing. "I can wait."

She didn't look like she believed him but wisely kept quiet.

General Hammond was already waiting for them when they reached his office, beckoned them in and told them to take a seat. "I hope you can give us some answers about Captain Carter and her daughter's condition, Doctor Fraiser."

"Yes, Sir."

"I don't want anything what we discuss here to leave this room," Hammond said. "I will debrief Captain Carter about her ordeal myself once Doctor Fraiser gives the all-clear, but until then I don't want any of this to make it back to her or to the grapevine. Is that understood?"

"Yes, Sir."

"Why don't we start with the test results, Doctor?"

Fraiser opened the folder she'd been carrying with her and browsed through it until she found what she was looking for. "We've tested for all the likely candidates but we haven't found anything alarming yet, Sirs. Neither the Captain nor the child show any signs of an infection or disease, either."

"Do you have all the results?"

"We're still waiting for a few, Sir."

Hammond's face was etched with concern when he spoke again, "We've briefly discussed the possibility of the child being _harsesis_ , like the son of Apophis and Doctor Jackson's wife. I am hoping you can put my mind at ease, Doctor."

"I'm sorry, Sir," Fraier said. "There's just no way to test for something like that. I wouldn't even know where to begin!"

Jack scrubbed a hand over his face and sighed. He hated sitting around and being unable to do anything to help. "Did you find any abnormalities?"

"In their bloodwork? Nothing unusual so far, except for naquadah in both their systems. But that was to be expected considering the Captain is a former host to a Goa'uld and she must have passed it on to her daughter through the placenta."

"What does that mean for their quarantine, Doctor?"

Fraiser sighed and shifted in her chair. "Honestly? I'd prefer to keep them in quarantine for a few weeks, maybe a month."

"But you just said there weren't any abnormalities in their bloodwork, Doc."

"We're still running some tests, Colonel. Not to mention that we can only test for what we know. From the few things Captain Carter told me, I'd say she's been to more planets than SG-1 and on quite a few of them, she lived among the outcasts where disease is prevalent."

General Hammond steepled his fingers and looked deep in thought as the CMO explained the dangers of letting Sam and Ife leave the base while being potential carriers of unknown infections. "How much longer until you can give us more definitive answers, Doctor?"

"The final blood results will be in in a few days, but that does not mean we've eliminated all risk. That is why I'd prefer a longer quarantine, Sir."

"What about the visitors? Didn't Doctor Langford enter the quarantine earlier today?"

Doctor Fraiser nodded, "With my permission, Sir. She is familiar with the protocols for such quarantines and took the appropriate safety measures per my instructions. Captain Carter and her daughter are quarantined and not in isolation, after all."

"I understand, Doctor," Hammond said, "but we're not set up for a month-long quarantine."

"Not to mention the little girl; an underground base is no place for a baby," Jack said.

"The Academy Hospital might be an option but it might be difficult to explain why the Captain and her daughter need to be quarantined for such a long period without arousing any suspicions or downright panic over mysterious infectious diseases, Sirs."

General Hammond let out a deep sigh. "And what would you say their overall health is, Doctor?"

Fraiser opened her folder again and seemed to be checking her notes. "Captain Carter's vitals are within an acceptable range but she is slightly malnourished and has a very low fat percentage. Her muscle tone is strong, though. I'd say that's probably due to the lifestyle she and Master Bra'tac have lived. She will need a personalized diet with some supplements. There doesn't appear to be any lasting damage from the interrogations she underwent or the attack from Colonel Grieves, most likely because of sarcophagus usage. Well, except for three missing molars, which confirm our theory that sarcophagi can speed up the healing process but not regenerate missing tissue."

"And the child?"

"Due to the treatment Captain Carter received upon capture – food, sleep and light deprivation – she lost the ability to keep track of time, which was not helped by traveling from planet to planet after she escaped. As she explained it, many planets have different rotations from Earth and even a trained Jaffa Master like Master Bra'tac seemed to have trouble keeping track of the days sometimes. That is why she had no idea how much time had passed since her mission to P3X-425 and when exactly she gave birth to her daughter.

"Now, keep in mind that I'm not a pediatrician, but from what I can tell is that the girl is underdeveloped. She definitely needs more nutrition, including solid food and possibly supplements, because she is too small. There is no typical chubbiness for someone her age, for example. In my estimation, she is maybe fourteen or fifteen months old, but her size and weight put her at barely a year old for the average child."

Jack had told Daniel as much when they were out buying baby stuff, but to hear it come from Doc Fraiser was still a bit of a shock. He wondered if Sam realized her daughter was underdeveloped and if so, if she felt guilty about it. "What do you think is the cause, Doc?"

"The lifestyle and lack of nutrition during pregnancy and after birth, Sir. Captain Carter couldn't tell me if the girl was born prematurely for sure, although she did say that Bra'tac had expected her to have another month or so to go at the time she delivered. But there were no complications during childbirth and the baby had seemed fine, too."

"I guess that means we will need to get clearance for a specialized pediatrician," General Hammond mused aloud.

Doctor Fraiser nodded and handed him a sheet of paper with a list of names on it. "Interestingly, Captain Carter told me the child has never been ill. Not even as much as a cold. The same goes for the Captain, by the way, with the exception of one bad reaction to contaminated water shortly after the Goa'uld Herit had been killed. I suspect their naquadah might be responsible for this, which is another reason I would like to keep them quarantined for a little longer than normal, Sir."

Jack ran a hand through his hair in frustration as the Doc and Hammond continued to discuss the pros and cons of quarantining Sam and Ife for an extended period of time. When they went back to the location, he cut in, "Um, Doc, is it necessary to keep them in quarantine for that long or would a controlled environment be enough?"

"What are you thinking, son?"

"Well, they have minimal contact with the medical staff here in the bubble and the occasional visitor like Catherine today," he said. "The SG teams are all exposed to alien environments on their missions and they're barely quarantined for a day, unless there are obvious signs of infection."

Doctor Fraiser looked at him, indecisiveness showing on her face. "Are you suggesting that keeping them in a location off-base with a controlled environment would suffice, Colonel?"

He shrugged, "Well, yeah. It works for the SG teams."

"But the SG teams don't live off-world for more than two years at the time," she reminded him. "The longest is weeks to a month or two."

"And the SG teams undergo regular medical exams, shots and medical treatment," Hammond said.

Jack couldn't deny that was true and he knew he wasn't the one specialized in infectious diseases, but he still felt it was worth a mention. "But wouldn't a quarantine worsen their condition? I mean, you said the girl was underdeveloped Doc, how much opportunity would she have to move, explore and develop in quarantine? Last I checked, there wasn't a hell of a lot of space in that room."

The General exchanged glances with him before looking to the CMO. "The man has a point, Doctor Fraiser."


	3. Chapter 3

**Stargate Command**   
**Colorado Springs, CO**   
**November 17, 1999**

General Hammond looked at her with sympathy in his eyes and sighed. "I cannot begin to imagine what that must have been like, Captain."

Sam shrugged, feeling strangely unaffected by the retelling of what had happened on that fateful day on P3X-425. So much had happened since Grieves had betrayed her. Perhaps too much for her to relive the maelstrom of feelings it had caused. "I'm just glad the truth came out, Sir."

"Colonel O'Neill captured all the Rogue NID operatives involved with the off-world base and the data he brought back ensured the ones stationed Earth-side could be tracked down as well. They all face charges of high treason and the death penalty is on the table," the General said. "Unfortunately, Lieutenant Colonel Grieves' death means-"

"It's a relief to know he won't be able to hurt or betray anyone else," she said, interrupting him. "To be honest, Sir, I was worried about the lack of evidence to get him convicted."

"The actions of Lieutenant Colonel Grieves forced Colonel O'Neill's hand, or we would have had a lot more victims. Perhaps including Colonel O'Neill and then we never would have gotten the data on their operation. The CCTV confirmed Colonel O'Neill acted in self-defense and there won't be any charges filed against him."

She nodded, relieved. "That's what Major Davis also told me, Sir."

The General smiled, "I just want to reiterate that you and your daughter are safe now, Captain. You have nothing to fear from the NID or any other organization. Once the quarantine has been lifted, you're free to go."

"Yes, Sir."

"However, in the meantime, I would like to continue your debriefing."

Sam had known a debriefing would be necessary and was surprised it had taken so long for the General to demand one. Probably because Doctor Fraiser had to approve it, based on the medical exams. Sam appreciated the privacy of the debriefing, though. "Of course, Sir."

There was a moment of silence as Hammond wrung his hands, searching for the right words. "The CMO informed me about your medical condition and the mistreatment you underwent during your captivity. Our Jaffa friends have already detailed some of the techniques used for interrogative purposes, but I need to ask you about it as well, Captain."

"It, um, started out very basic. I don't think the Jaffa were allowed to do any serious harm before Apophis had a chance to see me. Once the harvest Master Bra'tac was in charge of was done, they transferred me to a transport vessel and that brought us to the planet where Apophis and Klorel's motherships were being built."

"The Goa'uld interrogated you?"

"No," she shook her head, nails digging into the palms of her hands at the memory, "Kah'l, Apophis' First Prime, was put in charge of the interrogations. He wanted to know about the iris, how to circumvent it and what Earth's other defenses were like."

"Just as we expected," the General said softly. "When SG-1 couldn't find you on P3X-425 and only returned with the med kit, we called in Doctor Langford to overwrite some of the programming of the dialing computer. Just in case."

"She told me."

"This Kah'l…"

Sam blew out a breath at his prompting, quelling the nauseating feeling in her stomach. "He was… impatient. Liked any excuse to use his hands and feet, preferably until he could hear the breaking of bones."

Hammond gave her a moment to collect herself, before asking her about what happened after.

"Apparently, Apophis wasn't pleased with Kah'l's progress, so he brought in someone else. A Goa'uld called Zipacna, he was one of Apophis' underlords."

"I'm aware of who he is. SG-1 has met him."

"Oh." She looked down, biting the inside of her cheek, as she searched for words to express what that bastard had put her through. "His questions… uh, they were pretty much the same. He wanted to know about Earth and when I didn't give him the answers he wanted, he got mad." Her throat was suddenly turning dry and she reached for the bottled water one of the orderlies had brought her. After taking a few gulps, she tried again. "Zipacna was… more creative. He liked to use tools."

The General waited for her to look up before he spoke, "You withstood severe torture and in doing so, you protected Earth from attack, Captain."

Sam barked out a humorless laugh and shook her head at him. The pain had been unimaginable and she remembered just lying in her cell or hanging in the torture chamber, her body broken and mind too far gone. "I was beyond caring at that point, Sir. Zipacna stopped asking questions about halfway in, he simply enjoyed inflicting pain."

"Captain-"

"At some point," she continued, wanting to keep going, "Apophis had enough of waiting and I was brought before him and Klorel. They tried to torture me into revealing what they wanted to know by using their hand devices… before Klorel decided to make me a host instead."

"To gain the knowledge about Earth," Hammond asked.

Sam fought against the feelings those memories brought up and nodded slowly. "Yeah. I was put in a sarcophagus to heal and then there was an implantation ceremony… once the Goa'uld, Herit, took over there were more sarcophagus sessions. Apparently, they weaken the human host and thereby make it easier for the Goa'uld to keep control."

"But you somehow managed to keep the Goa'uld from attacking Earth."

"I…" She faltered, trying to decide what would be the best course of action. Telling the truth wasn't really an option, not yet, anyway. "I fought Herit. She was young, too young, according to Apophis for implantation, but Klorel insisted. I think that might have made it easier for me."

The General's eyes narrowed, "You regained control?"

"Not entirely, but I managed to influence her."

"Like Kendra on Cimmeria?"

Sam jumped at the suggestion. "Yes, just like she did with her Goa'uld. But SG-1 did most of the work when they boarded the mothership. I managed to control the majority of intel Herit gathered from my mind and used it to my advantage."

"You were also the one who delayed Apophis' orders to kill SG-1," Hammond said. "According to Master Bra'tac."

"He played a large part in that, too."

"I see."

She took another sip of water before continuing, "Once it looked like SG-1 would prevent the attack, I convinced Herit it would be better to leave the ship and join Amaunet. She was in hiding because of her pregnancy and if there would be retaliation from Earth, then Amaunet would have to be moved elsewhere. At least, that's what I told Herit."

"And that is how you escaped the Goa'uld?"

Sam nodded and explained how Bra'tac had followed her, lying about him accompanying her in the role of First Prime of Klorel – and by extension, Herit's – rather than pledging his allegiance to Sam. But she couldn't tell the General the truth without revealing more about herself and Ife, and she simply wasn't able to trust them yet. "Then, I convinced Herit to go to Cimmeria. She was young and eager to prove herself, so it wasn't difficult to plant the idea of something very valuable being hidden on the planet."

"How did you know how to repair Thor's Hammer?"

"I didn't. From SG-1's mission reports I knew it was damaged, but I guess I got lucky when I opened it up. It was mostly a case of taking out one crystal and replacing it with another, for as long as it took for the device to give a sign of life."

"Very lucky indeed, Captain."

She didn't know if he was being sincere or not, suddenly realizing he was difficult to read. Or perhaps her own doubts were clouding her ability. "Once it was powered up, I simply stepped through it and Herit was killed."

"And from there on you and Master Bra'tac lived from planet to planet to avoid the Goa'uld?"

"Yes, Sir."

"That's quite admirable, Captain."

She shrugged, "I don't know, Sir. We simply survived as best we could."

General Hammond had a strange look on his face as he leaned back in the small infirmary chair, arms crossed in front of his chest. "I'd say it was more than surviving; you did manage to build an army of Jaffa Rebels."

"Oh. Well, we only recently started recruiting other Rebels."

"How recent, Captain?"

"Um, it was after I encountered SG-1 on Hathor's planet. Colonel O'Neill told me he'd find a way for me to come home, so I knew I was just biding my time and when word of Hathor's death spread… Well, Master Bra'tac and I used it to our advantage. We knew Apophis was dead and Klorel was having a difficult time fighting Heru'ur, so the timing was just right."

"That was all it took, good timing?"

Sam heard the skepticism in his tone and tried to find a way to convince him. "It was mostly Bra'tac, Sir. You have to realize that his reputation precedes him. He's a bit of a celebrity among Jaffa, especially the ones in service of Apophis. So, when he told them about false gods and I backed him up… Well, we had some bad moments, but along the way we picked up more and more Rebels who helped recruit others."

The General nodded in understanding. "Doctor Jackson told me you kept journals?"

"Yes, Sir. Doctor Fraiser said the items had to be cleared first before I could share them, but I chronicled most of Master Bra'tac's journey to recruit rebels. There are some personal journals too, but I'd be happy to share the ones with relevant information about the Jaffa Rebellion and certain technology and cultures we encountered."

"We would appreciate it, Captain. I'm sure Doctor Jackson and his colleagues are more than eager to read about your first-hand experiences."

Sam watched as he got to his feet and automatically did the same. Apparently, her military training hadn't abandoned her entirely yet. "Was that all, Sir?"

"For now, Captain," he said. "I think it's more important to focus on your health now. Unless you have important information I need to know?"

"No, Sir."

He smiled and moved the chair to the other side of the room. "Good. There is something I want you to consider, though: your experiences and knowledge could make you invaluable to the SGC and I think it's important for you to think about what you want. Once the whole situation surrounding your circumstances has been cleared up, you'll be put on medical leave and if you pass all your physicals at the end of it, you can be reinstated. Probably with a promotion. But considering what you've been through, it's also possible that you won't want to return to active duty."

"You want me to decide whether I want to remain in the Air Force or resign," Sam concluded.

"Exactly, Captain," he said. "Now, I'm not saying that you can't work at the SGC as a civilian, but I think you need to explore your options before making that decision."

* * *

**Stargate Command**   
**Colorado Springs, CO**

Jack casually strolled into the infirmary, pretending like he hadn't voluntarily been visiting it more often in the past few days than the whole past year. He was still wary of the medical personnel though – they were far too fond of their big needles in his opinion – and tried not to linger too long. The way to the quarantine room was one he could make with his eyes closed by now and it didn't take him long to reach it, expertly avoiding any of the staff…

Until he entered the room, closed the door behind him and saw someone in the bubble with Sam. Damn. He walked over to the plastic chair in front of the bubble but didn't sit down. It felt wrong to sit there and watch as the Doc and Sam were going about their business. Sam wasn't on display like some animal in the zoo or part of a play, so he'd wait until she could sit down on her side of the plastic and talk.

It didn't take long before the Doc, all suited up, packed up her things. "Colonel," she greeted, after exiting the bubble.

"Doc." He waited until she'd taken off her mouth mask and scrub cap to ask about Sam, unable to spot her on the other side of the plastic after she entered the bathroom. "She okay? I wanted to drop by for a few minutes but-"

"That's fine, Sir. I don't think Captain Carter will mind. Just… no more blue jello."

Jack held up his hands in defense, "Blue jello? I don't know what you're talking about, Doc."

Fraiser glared at him and somehow managed to look rather intimidating, which was impressive considering she was barely a head taller than Thor. "Someone smuggled it in and I know you're no stranger when it comes to the dessert. Sir."

"Pshaw," he waved it off. "Blue? I'd never touch the stuff! I'm a red jello kind of man, Doc."

"Right."

Reaching into his jacket pockets, Jack pulled out three pieces of alien fruit. "See? No jello. Just some Ojen fruit."

Doctor Fraiser eyed him suspiciously. "Ojen fruit?"

"A couple of new crates were shipped in from Hanka this morning and I figured Captain Carter might like it."

The Doc pulled off her gloves and tossed them in the appropriate bin with the rest of her protective clothing. "Well, I guess I should pick up a crate for Cassandra on my way home."

"You do that," he said, attempting to juggle the fruit.

"Just in time for Thanksgiving next week," she mused aloud. "You and your team are still coming over?"

Jack smirked, "You betcha. Cassie's been talking about it for weeks, wouldn't want to let the munchkin down."

Doctor Fraiser gave him a look that said she knew the feeling. "Oh, speaking of munchkins…"

Following her line of sight, he realized Sam had come out of the bathroom and was watching them, her daughter in her arms. "Oh, hey."

"Hey."

"I have rounds to make," Fraiser said, "but I'll be by later today, Captain."

Sam nodded in understanding and waited for the Doc to leave before turning to Jack. "What have you got there?"

"Ojen fruit. Or guangos, as Daniel likes to call 'em because it's a sort of cross between a guave and a mango. The fruit is native to Hanka, one of the planets where we built an observatory. The teams and scientists stationed there continued growing the fruits and vegetables and after every harvest they send us a lot of crates. They're pretty tasty and I figured your body would probably handle them better than jello."

"Yeah, the jello wasn't such a good idea…"

He'd been on his way to visit her yesterday when Daniel stopped him at the door to inform him she'd gotten sick from something she'd eaten. It hadn't taken the Doc long to figure out what the bad food was considering the vomit had been mostly blue… and apparently left quite a mess. "Sorry about that," he said, wincing.

Sam smiled wanly, "It's the thought that counts."

"But you're doing okay now?"

"Yeah."

"And Ife?" He asked, indicating the sleeping girl in her arms.

Sam nuzzled her daughter's hair and looked up at him from under her lashes. "Doctor Fraiser gave her some food that didn't sit well. She's been pretty lethargic too, but I think it's all part of adjusting to our surroundings and the different food. Nothing too serious. She'll be fine."

"Good," he said. "I'm glad."

"If you don't mind, I'll put her to bed now. Some of the food came back up and I had to clean her up, but she fell asleep again in the bathroom."

Jack frowned in concern as she walked off towards the curtained-off bed. "She sleeping a lot?"

Sam spoke in hushed tones as she disappeared behind the curtain but she reappeared after a minute or two. "Not abnormally so, I don't think. But it's not like there's a lot of other things to do in this bubble. Besides, she's slept through a lot worse."

"Off-world?"

"Yeah."

He felt bad about the irrelevant question – because what else could she have been referring to? – when a sad look came over her face. Time to change the subject. "So, you interested in these guangos?"

Sam smiled, although it didn't reach her eyes, and nodded, indicating the service hatch. "Yes, I'd love to try them later today. They actually look like something I've had before… I don't remember the planet, though. It's mentioned in one of the journals I gave Doctor Jackson yesterday."

"The fruit or the planet?"

"Both. There's even a drawing."

Jack looked at her in surprise after placing the fruit in the hatch and closing it. "Really?"

"Not a very good drawing," she admitted, ducking her head. "But a drawing nonetheless. It's better than my stick figures, I promise."

"Well, I'm sure Daniel or his geek squad will mention it when they find it, because that's just the kind of thing they find _fascinating_."

"And you don't, I take it?"

He smirked and shook his head, "Nope."

"Why am I not surprised?"

"I don't know."

Sam leaned forward to grab the fruit from her side of the service hatch, her hair falling into her face. "Thanks."

"You cut your hair."

"Actually, Lieutenant Rush cut my hair," she said, running a hand over it self-consciously. "Just very basic, because of the length. She said I should go to the hairdresser to get it done properly."

Her hair had been very long, down to her ass. Not that he'd noticed or anything. Now it reached about halfway down her back. "Looks good on you."

"I don't know. Maybe I'll go back to a short style. This will do for now, though."

Jack frowned when he caught sight of his watch. "I've got to go. Meeting with Hammond and the team leaders."

"Oh. Of course."

"Look," he started, rubbing a hand over the back of his neck. "Hammond mentioned something about talking to MacKenzie."

She made a face, but nodded in acknowledgement.

"I'm not a big fan of shrinks, but that might not be a bad idea. He's an okay guy – for a shrink. Seems like he knows what he's doing and he really helped Daniel a while back, so…"

"I'll think about it."

Jack could tell she wasn't sold on it and he couldn't blame her, considering his own distaste of therapy and head shrinking, but she'd gone through a lot. "Sure. You do that."

"Thanks again for the fruit," she said, dimples showing in her smile.

He was helpless to resist and smiled in response. "Yeah sure, you betcha."

* * *

**Stargate Command**   
**Colorado Springs, CO**

The lights in the room were less bright than earlier in the day. Sam hadn't noticed until she got off the bed and sat down in the chair in the middle of the bubble, facing her latest visitor. The man had a kind face and when he moved to take a seat on the other side of the plastic, the light glinted off the eagles on his shoulders. She sat up straighter. "Colonel."

"Most people, especially the military personnel on base, call me Doctor MacKenzie, not Colonel," he said, a small smile on his face. "Interesting."

"You're not wearing a doctor's coat, Sir."

He sat down and acknowledged her reply with a nod. "I was about to leave for the day when General Hammond told me you wanted to see me."

Sam suddenly felt nervous and shifted in her seat. "Well, don't let me stop you. I'll still be here tomorrow. And probably the day after and the one after that and so on."

"You believe that to be the case?"

"I haven't heard anything else yet."

MacKenzie got a small notepad from his pocket and flipped through it. "The General told me Doctor Fraiser is still waiting for some test results before making a decision about the duration of your quarantine."

"That's the last I heard too, although there's no word of when those results will come in."

"I can imagine that's frustrating."

She shrugged, "I guess."

"Not quite the homecoming you were expecting, I suspect, Captain. Or do you prefer 'Samantha'?" He paused, furrowing his brow as he looked down at his notes again. "Or 'Doctor'?"

Sam felt no more a doctor than she did a captain these days. As a matter of fact, it made her feel downright uncomfortable when people referred to her by her rank. Ironic, considering how hard she'd fought to make her way in the Air Force and to obtain her PhD. After more than two years of living off-world, even _Sām_ felt more like her. "Just Sam will do… Doctor."

He smiled at the belated salutation, "Good, Sam it is then."

"… okay."

"Look, Sam," he said kindly, "there's no reason to beat around the bush. We both know why I'm here. I won't lie and belittle what you went through by telling you that I know what it was like, but I do have experience in treating POWs and, obviously, SGC personnel of whom some have gone through pretty traumatic experiences as well."

She sighed and picked at her scrubs. Talking about herself had never been one of her favorite things and sharing intimate or traumatic experiences was not something the Carters did. Her dad was – _had been_ – a typical military man, not much of a talker and certainly not someone who dealt well, if at all, with feelings and problematic experiences. His idea of grieving her mother's death was to move on, work more and avoid mentioning her unless absolutely necessary. "I don't know if therapy is for me."

"Yet you agreed to meet with me."

"General Hammond more or less implied therapy was required and Colonel O'Neill suggested it couldn't hurt."

The shrink seemed amused. "Colonel O'Neill said that?"

"He said you weren't all bad and that you'd helped out Doctor Jackson a while back."

"While doctor-patient confidentiality prohibits me from discussing my patients, I can confirm that many people on base have benefited from similar sessions. Sometimes, just talking about it with a professional who is aware of what you face when you step through that stargate can be enough."

The problem was that she didn't really want to talk about it. Maybe her dad's way would work for her, too. "I don't know…"

"Yours may not have been a typical case of a POW, but you _were_ a prisoner of war – with the Goa'uld," MacKenzie said. "Both during your time as a captive and once you were made a host. I know this is only your fifth day back on Earth, but if you don't address the trauma you've experienced more issues that'll make reintegrating into society difficult will arise. If they haven't already."

"I wasn't a captive for the whole time I was gone," she said, slowly.

The Doctor looked into the direction of the curtained-off bed in which Ife was sleeping and nodded, "So I've heard. You had already killed the Goa'uld inside of you by the time you gave birth to your daughter?"

"Yeah."

He wrote something down before looking up at her again. "I know you had no accurate frame of reference to the passing of time, but I'd say your daughter gives us a guestimate of how long you've been living off-world, fending for her and yourself."

Sam didn't want to dwell on Ife's age for too long. Not before she had figured out how to tell Jack, anyway. She didn't want anyone else to know before he did, but the timing wasn't right yet either. It would take time to adjust to a life on Earth, both for her and Ife, and it would be too much at once to involve him at this point. Besides, she really wanted to get to know him a little bit better, to find out if he even liked kids and was willing to step up if he knew the truth. "I suppose. We weren't alone, though. Master Bra'tac was with us most of the time. If it hadn't been for his help, we probably wouldn't have survived."

"Don't underestimate yourself, Sam."

"I'm not; I'm simply stating a fact."

Doctor MacKenzie had a look similar to Bra'tac's in his eyes when he gauged her. "I think you might be selling yourself short. Now, I know I don't have any first-hand knowledge, but I read the reports by Doctor Fraiser, Major Davis and General Hammond and I _know_ not many people would have lasted as long as you did in captivity."

"They had to keep me alive to see Apophis," she said.

"Perhaps."

"That is the only reason I made it out of that cell."

The shrink made a noncommittal noise and checked his notes again. "Let's say that is true. You survived captivity because they made sure of it, although they didn't treat your injuries and practically starved you."

Sam nodded slowly, well aware of the facts. She'd been in that damn cell after all. Suffering and slowly dying… she shook herself, not wanting to be reminded of those days.

"Once you were on Apophis' ship you were interrogated for information about Earth," he said, looking up at her. "Brutally tortured, to be exact. But you didn't spill any secrets. You hung in there with a strength I can only admire. According to the statements made by you and your two Jaffa friends, your resistance was the reason the Goa'uld decided to make you a host. Even then you kept fighting and prevented an attack on Earth by stalling the Goa'uld in control of your body."

"That's… yeah, that's what happened," she said, forcing down the memories.

MacKenzie leaned forward, holding her gaze. "Somehow, you found the strength and determination to pull through and nearly two and a half years later, you're sitting here in front of me. Safe and sound."

Her eyes suddenly started burning with tears at those last words and she had to look away, pretending to check in on Ife.

"You _are_ safe here, Sam. You and your daughter, both of you are safe."

"I know."

He waited until he had her full attention again. "It's day five."

She swallowed against her emotions, relieved the burning had subsided. "Yeah. It's hard to keep track, especially down here. I mean, they dim the lights," she said, gesturing at the ceiling lights, "but it's very different from what we've gotten used to."

"How have you been sleeping these past few days? I hear your daughter sleeps a lot."

"Like I said, the artificial lighting and recycled air is different, but I manage to get some sleep at night."

He narrowed his eyes, looking pensive. "For how long? How many hours a night?"

Once again, he reminded her of Bra'tac and she couldn't help a small smile. "Enough. It's not like I work off a lot of energy by being cooped up in here all day."

"Can you sleep through the night?"

Sam shook her head slowly, avoiding his gaze.

"Nightmares?"

"Sometimes," she said. "Other times it's Ife, personnel or medical equipment waking me."

A look of understanding washed over his face. "Circumstances required you to be a light sleeper. It's only natural for that to continue, especially when your surroundings are still unfamiliar. Once you're out of quarantine and living somewhere that feels more secure and comfortable, without strangers waltzing in and out, your sleeping pattern should adjust."

She wasn't as confident about that as he seemed to be, but just leaving the quarantine and having her own place sounded pretty damn good. She could deal with any restlessness or insomnia in that case. Maybe some kel'no'reeming would help, too. Candles weren't allowed in the bubble and the artificial light and buzzing and beeping sounds from medical equipment were too much of a distraction. The thought of showing that side of herself to any visitors or observers didn't sit well with her, either.

"Look, Sam," Doctor MacKenzie said, "mixed emotions about being back home are normal and I understand that you're not ready to share what you've been through. The past two years you've lived a life that was all about surviving, flying below the radar and keeping secrets. From what I understand, much of the time was spent in isolated areas, with just your daughter and Master Bra'tac.

"I don't expect you to immediately adjust to these new circumstances after such an unexpected homecoming. Frankly, _that_ would have worried me. It's going to take time and we need to build trust between us before you'll feel comfortable about opening up to me. But I think it will do you, and by extension your daughter, good to consider regular sessions for the long run."


	4. Chapter 4

**Stargate Command**   
**Colorado Springs, CO**   
**November 19, 1999**

Meetings had never been Jack's favorite pastime, especially when they were boring and attended by scientists, brass or politicians. That had been exactly the way he'd been forced to spent the past couple of hours. A team leaders meeting here, a briefing for a scientific mission there, a team debriefing that lasted all through lunch, a meeting with the CMO, Davis, and Hammond about Sam, then a quick trip to Utcha to negotiate assistance in helping them rebuild the way Sam had and a debrief with the brass about it when he got back. He was so ready to go home, but instead he had to wait for an okay after a quick post-mission exam because of his off-world trip.

Lieutenant Rush headed his direction, her eyes on a chart but expertly avoiding bumping into anyone in the crowded infirmary. "Colonel O'Neill," she said as she reached him, smiling. "The Doctor said you're cleared to leave."

"Finally," he muttered, sliding off the bed he'd been sitting on. He was about to leave when he realized the time and grabbed her by the elbow as he moved on. "Uh, do you know if Captain Carter has already left? I was told she could probably leave the quarantine today."

"She's still here, Sir. Doctor Fraiser is in with her now."

"Thanks." Jack felt relief wash over him as he left the infirmary and headed for the quarantine room, having worried all day that she'd slip out while he was stuck in yet another meeting or off-world. Of course, there was still the possibility that Fraiser would keep Sam and her daughter on base for a little while longer, just not quarantined. The CMO hadn't made that decision yet when they last spoke. Taking a deep breath, he walked up to the door and knocked.

"Enter."

The heavy door opened rather easily and Jack did a double take at the sight that greeted him; the plastic bubble was being dismantled by Siler and his crew, but more surprisingly was Sam standing in the middle of the room, wearing olive drab BDUs. "Hey."

"Oh look, it's Colonel O'Neill."

Jack ignored the Doc's tone and knowing look, instead clasping his hands together and smirking, "So, what's the verdict?"

"Doctor Fraiser got the latest test results and there's no reason for concern, so the quarantine was lifted," Sam said.

"Cool."

"Very 'cool' indeed, Sir," Fraiser said, rolling her eyes.

He took a quick glance around the room until he located Ife, wrapped in a quilt on the bed, and turned back to Sam. She didn't seem happy, or even excited, at the prospect of being released. "Does that mean you're free to go?"

Sam nodded slowly, looking a little forlorn. "We can stay here the night and maybe get personal quarters on level twenty-five tomorrow. I hope I can speak to General Hammond over the weekend to decide our next course of action. My dad apparently terminated the lease on my apartment after I 'died', although I'm not even sure DC would be an option right now…"

"I would like to keep you a little closer to home," Fraiser said. "Just in case."

She chuckled mirthlessly, shaking her head. "That is exactly the problem – 'home'. I don't have a home anymore. Knowing my Dad, he probably sold everything I had and now I have nothing left, not even the things I brought back from off-world. Hell, I don't even have clothes of my own!"

Jack winced at her little outburst, but he couldn't blame her. The offer left his mouth before he even thought it through, "You can stay at my place."

Both women stared at him, stunned into silence.

"What? It's a good idea. I have plenty of room. You don't have your place in DC anymore, your Dad is gone, you were declared dead and haven't had any income the past two and a half years… no bank accounts, credit cards or even cash, I imagine." The more Jack thought about it, the more sense it made. She'd understand. "You told me you don't have any friends in the area… Well, maybe Daniel but I don't know if you've seen his apartment – it's like a museum, with artefacts everywhere, including boxed up items in the guest room and I'm not entirely convinced his own bed isn't covered in them considering how often he stays on base."

"That's true, actually," Fraiser said. "That apartment is no place for a guest, never mind a little one."

He nodded, "Not safe for a kid."

"And your brother lives in San Diego."

"Yeah," Sam said, sighing. "We weren't close before… everything. Even if he were to invite me over, I don't think it's a good idea to take Ife aboard a plane or across several states."

The Doc nodded in agreement, clearly worried that they'd go somewhere where she couldn't keep an eye on their health. "Maybe you could stay with Catherine."

Sam shook her head immediately. "No, I don't want to impose. She's busy enough and also has Ernest…"

"Look," Jack said, "I live only twenty minutes from the base, the house is semi-secluded, there's a yard and I have an extra guest room."

"I'll just go check on my other patients," Fraiser said, after giving Sam an inquiring look. "I'll be back later to see what you've decided."

"Okay."

He got concerned when Sam crossed her arms in front of her chest and looked ill at ease. But he could also tell from the look on her face that she wanted to speak to him in private, so he waited until Fraiser had corralled Siler and company into the corridor and closed the door behind her. "I wouldn't have offered if I didn't mean it."

Sam opened her mouth to object, but he cut her off.

"I could pay for a hotel room or ask Hammond to arrange a way for the Air Force to foot the bill for a place to stay temporarily, but do you really think that's a good idea after everything you've been through? And what about your little girl?"

"Jack, I just don't know if this is a good idea…"

He closed the distance between them and waited until she looked up, her blue gaze locking with his own. "It's just a place to stay. Nothing more."

"But-"

"Sam," he said, smiling, "I just want to help you out. You need somewhere to stay, the sooner the better I imagine, and I have enough space for you and Ife."

She bit her lip and avoided his gaze, looking to where her daughter was sleeping. "Okay. I'll take you up on your offer, but I want you to be honest with me and say something if it becomes too much."

Somehow, he doubted that would be the case. "Sure, I promise."

* * *

**Topside**   
**Stargate Command**   
**Colorado Springs, CO**

Sam's stomach was all tied up in knots by the time they reached the final security check and she could see the exit. The same door she'd entered nearly two and a half years ago, completely unaware of the nightmare her life would turn into only hours later. She tightened her grip on Ife as Jack and Doctor Fraiser spoke to the SFs at the security check to sign out.

When they came back, the Doctor smiled at a sleeping Ife. "The mild sedative I gave her will last for a few hours, long enough to take her home and settled in bed. Based on her sleeping patterns so far, I wouldn't be surprised if she only wakes up briefly and sleeps through the rest of the night."

"Okay, thanks again," Sam said.

"The Colonel made a good point about possible distress if she wakes up and sees the strange world around her. Just the traffic and loud noises could be enough to unsettle her. There's no reason we can't spare her that a little longer. It will be better for her to get used to her surroundings in baby steps, starting with the Colonel's home."

Jack reached out and rearranged the quilt around Ife, "The airmen told me it just stopped snowing, but it's still cold outside."

Sam shivered at the mention of snow. The BDUs she'd been given were too large and didn't offer much protection against the cold. She hoped Jack's car wasn't at the back of the parking lot. "It's been a while since we've been out in the snow. Normally, we'd have our pelts or fur coats for warmth."

"And I'll make sure you get them back once they've been properly examined for pests and other carriers, Captain," the CMO said. "Well, I've got to go back. Please follow the medical advice you've been given. That goes for you too, Colonel."

"Sure," he said.

"I know you tend to play fast and loose with the recommendations and guidelines you're given, Sir, but the dietary advice is especially important for the Captain and Ife. No processed foods or alcohol, stick to bottled water and only drink organic juices, coffee and tea. Small meals consisting of organic fruits, vegetables and nuts only for now."

Jack raised his hands in supplication. "I heard you the first time, Doc. I'll make sure to buy healthy and unprocessed foods only. Trust me, I don't want either of them to get sick or worse."

"The same goes for toiletries and cleaning products they might get in touch with," Doctor Fraiser continued.

"Natural, organic… stuff," he said, nodding.

In the past few days, Sam had suffered a similar albeit milder reaction to products she'd used as Ife had earlier. The rash had been inconvenient as hell, but she'd also gotten physically ill from something she'd eaten – perhaps the jello Jack had smuggled in – or a product she'd used. "No synthetic or dyed fabrics either," she said and patted her pocket, "I've got the list."

"There's a store in the mall that sells clothes made from organic and naturally dyed cotton," Fraiser said.

"Right, we'll need to go shopping."

Sam smiled at the face he made and felt herself relax a bit. Aside from the prospect of shopping, he really didn't seem to mind taking her and Ife in – temporarily. She'd hoped to be able to spend some time with him, get to know him better, before telling him the truth about Ife, but she hadn't expected to live with him. "I think we're all set," she said softly. "Thank you, Doctor Fraiser."

The petite Doctor nodded, a small smile on her face. "Call if you need anything and you," she turned to Jack, "keep me posted."

"You two can make a follow-up appointment next week," Jack said, gesturing for Sam to head towards the exit. "We'll be fine, Doc."

"Bye."

Together, Sam and Jack continued down the corridor until they reached the exit.

"Why don't you and Ife wait here while I get the truck," he said.

Almost ten minutes later the SF on guard gave her a signal when Jack got back and she took a deep breath before stepping outside. It was cold and getting dark, but the icy wind was literally a breath of fresh air. She'd spent so long living off-world that being cooped up inside was a strange experience, made worse by the recycled air and air conditioning.

Jack got out of the truck before she could move and jogged over to her side, pulling open the door to the backseat. He indicated the installed car seat and smiled sheepishly. "Dixon's got three kids, so I asked him if we could borrow one from his car when you and Fraiser were going over your meds and diet. Took me a few minutes to install it in the truck."

"I hadn't even thought of a car seat."

"Let me?" He asked, reaching for Ife.

Sam let him take her from her arms, watching as he gently lifted their daughter into the seat and buckled her up. He looked like he knew what he was doing – of course, those things were made to be easy in use. She sighed, trying to stop herself from overthinking. What she needed was a good night's sleep, preferably one without the interruptions of medical personnel and equipment.

Jack turned back to her, smiling. "All done."

She looked around, taking in their surroundings as he returned to the driver's seat. Up until now, it hadn't felt like she was back on Earth but seeing the parking lot, concrete base and familiar landscape made it feel… _real_.

The moment was broken when Jack opened the passenger door from inside the cab, leaning forward with a questioning look on his face. "Sam? You gonna get in?"

"Yeah." She took a deep breath, filling her lungs with the cold and polluted air, finally feeling like she was home.

"Everything okay?" He asked, once she was seated next to him.

Sam looked out of the window as he drove towards the checkpoint. "Yeah," she said, glancing back at him. "It might sound strange, but I missed the smell of wet asphalt."

"I know it's a bit chilly, but you can roll down the window if you want. Get some fresh air."

They drove in silence for a while, Sam splitting her attention between the icy breeze hitting her face as she looked out the window and twisting in her seat to check on Ife, while Jack focused on the road.

He was the one who broke the silence. "We need to get some groceries," he said.

"Oh, okay."

"I plan on following the Doc's plan to the letter, but right now there's nothing but beer and spoiled milk in my fridge."

She chuckled softly, reminded of her own bad habits back when she'd been working at the Pentagon. "You could go tomorrow, it's not like we need anything tonight but sleep. Unless you want something, of course."

Jack didn't say anything until they reached a small grocery store and he'd parked the car. Then, he turned to her, his eyes dark and serious. "I'd rather pick up some stuff now, just in case. It won't take long." Hesitantly, he reached out and patted her knee. "Why don't you stay here with Ife? I'll be right back."

"Yeah, sure." Somehow, he'd sensed her apprehensiveness and she was grateful for the out he gave her. The idea of going into a small grocery store with other people made her nervous. What if she was expected to make small talk? She hadn't been very good at trivial conversation before she'd left Earth and she was pretty sure her skills hadn't improved over the past two years. "It'll take time," she said aloud, looking over to where Ife was still fast asleep.

"I got us some basics," Jack said when he got back into the truck, having stowed the bag of groceries next to her bag of baby stuff – stuff he'd paid for, actually – in the back. After putting the seat belt on he peered at the backseat, a gentle smile on his face, "She still asleep?"

Sam nodded, watching him and mentally comparing his features to Ife's. "Yeah. I think Doctor Fraiser is right, Ife probably won't wake up until early in the morning."

He started the engine and drove off. "Probably for the best."

The sun had set by the time they reached Jack's house and while Sam couldn't see much of it from the outside, she had to admit the location was definitely better than a hotel or apartment somewhere. It was quieter and there were trees and grass, which would be more familiar and soothing to Ife than a concrete jungle.

Jack told her to wait in the truck while he went to the front door, unlocked it and turned on the lights in the hallway. Then he came back, headed for the backseat and after a moment of fiddling, lifted the car seat out of the truck.

Sam got the bags from the back and followed him and Ife into the house, blinking against the bright lights in the kitchen.

"Just put the grocery bag on the counter, I'll take care of it later. Let's get you and Ife settled in the bedroom first."

The bedroom turned out to be the master bedroom and not the guestroom. Sam hesitated on the step, scanning the room and concluding it was indeed his bedroom. "Jack?"

He set the car seat down next to the bed and rubbed the back of his neck in discomfort. "It's not what it looks like, Sam."

"It looks like your bedroom."

"Well, yeah. That's true," he said. "When I was buying groceries I realized that the bed in the guest room hasn't been made yet and the sheets have been gathering dust lately. I'd need to wash them first and they didn't have organic laundry detergent or whatever at the grocery and I didn't want to go out looking for a store that did."

"Okay…"

He sighed and gestured at the dark comforter on his bed. "I changed my sheets over the weekend and this is actually the first time I made it home this week, so the bed's barely been slept in. You could sleep on the comforter and use the quilt as a blanket if you'd prefer."

Sam frowned, feeling tired and confused. "You're offering me your bed?"

"It's bigger than the one in the guest room, so these sheets won't fit. It would take another couple of hours to wash and dry the correct sheets, plus it would probably make your rashes flare up again."

"You're right," she said, absentmindedly scratching at the rash on her arm.

Jack still had an apologetic look on his face. "I know this isn't what we agreed but I swear I don't have any… dishonorable intentions, or something."

Sam chuckled and made a dismissive wave with her hand. "I believe you. Don't worry about it. Right now, looking at Ife, all I want to do is sleep."

"Well," he smirked, "go right ahead. The bathroom is over there and here are some clothes you can wear. They might be a bit big, but I imagine they're more comfortable than those scrubs you've been wearing. We'll have to look into getting you some clothes this weekend. Maybe Fraiser or someone on base has a catalog you can order stuff from, so you don't have to go out. Damn, should have thought of that sooner."

"It's fine, really."

"Sure?"

She smiled and took the shirt and sweat pants he'd offered her, placing them on the foot of the bed. "Yeah, I'm sure. We'll work something out. Thank you, Jack."

He looked genuinely puzzled, "For what?"

"For offering us a place to stay," she said, lifting Ife from the car seat. "Your own bedroom, nonetheless."

"Oh, don't mention it. I'll be fine."

She wished him a good night, even though she knew he wouldn't turn in until much later and started getting ready for bed. Getting Ife into pajamas was more difficult than it had seemed at first, mostly because the little girl was used to loose clothing and not the restrictive clothes they had on Earth. Even being sedated didn't make it any easier.

Eventually, Sam got Ife dressed and, after a moment of hesitation, between the sheets, placing the quilt Catherine had made for her on the foot of the bed. Sam rearranged the pillows to ensure Ife wouldn't fall out of bed and went into the bathroom to clean herself up. It was a real man's bathroom with few products and no extra toothbrushes, so Sam used Jack's. Not like she hadn't done that before, she thought.

After getting changed into the T-shirt he'd given her, she crawled between the sheets. The bed was better than the one in the infirmary and much more comfortable than anything she'd slept on since leaving Earth. Sam snuggled into the pillow and comforter – they smelled faintly of Jack – and let out a sigh of contentment, feeling safe and warm.


	5. Chapter 5

**O'Neill Residence**   
**Colorado Springs, CO**   
**November 20, 1999**

Light was already streaming into the guest room when Jack woke up. After years in the military, he didn't need an alarm clock to wake him. He stretched his tall frame before getting up, and pulled the curtains open.

Scrubbing a hand over his face, he headed for the guest bathroom on the other side of the hallway. Yesterday had been packed with meetings and he hadn't had a lot of time to eat in between them and skipped dinner in favor of checking on Sam, which meant he was hungry. He took care of business in the bathroom and decided a shower would wait until after breakfast.

Back in the bedroom he pulled on yesterday's jeans and sweater, having forgotten to take some clean clothes with him last night. After opening the window, he left the room but stopped at the door to the master bedroom on his way to the kitchen. The house sounded quiet as usual and he was struck with how strange it felt to listen to the sound of other people in his house.

The only guests that ever slept over were his teammates and it had been months since that had happened because his undercover mission had forced him to somewhat alienate himself from them. Cassie Fraiser would sometimes sleep over when the Doc allowed it, but the alien girl had reached the age where sleepovers with friends were considered much more fun.

The kitchen floor was cold to his bare feet but he ignored it and opened the fridge. There was so much food in there he had a hard time deciding what to have for breakfast.

Maybe he'd bought a bit too much last night…

Jack settled on an omelet with bacon on the side and put everything he needed on the counter, before chopping up some veggies. He made coffee and toast while he waited for the bacon and eggs to be done. There was an old newspaper on the kitchen table and he worked on the crossword puzzle while having his breakfast.

He cleared out the dishwasher and moved around the house to pick up dirty dishes from earlier that week when he was done. There weren't many but he loaded everything into the dishwasher anyway, collected a takeout box, some old beer caps, a few magazines and newspapers from the living room and cleaned the table surfaces. He hadn't been expecting company, although the house wasn't really a mess. Still, he didn't want Sam to feel uncomfortable or have Ife come across his stash of beer caps and swallow them or something.

Once he was done he got another cup of coffee and watched some television. He went out to get the newspaper when it was delivered and read some articles, chuckled over the cartoons and filled out a few words in the crossword puzzle.

There still wasn't any sign of life from Sam when he was done, so he decided to check on her and the baby. If they were fast asleep, they wouldn't even notice him grabbing his razor from the ensuite bathroom and some clean clothes from his dresser.

The bedroom was dark when he opened the door and it took him a moment to make out the shapes in his bed. Sam's blonde hair was fanned out over the pillow and the first thing to catch his eye. It looked like she'd sprawled out comfortably under the comforter, which reached just past her waist. Ife, on the other hand, was completely uncovered and curled up to Sam's side, her hair a dark contrast with Sam's pale skin. Skin of which he could see quite a bit… Jack averted his gaze when he realized her shirt was partially unbuttoned, exposing part of a firm and round breast. She probably exchanged the t-shirt he gave her last night for a button-down shirt for easy access to breastfeed Ife…

He tiptoed farther into the room and retrieved what he needed from his bathroom, before moving back to fetch clothes from his dresser. When he cast a final glance at the sleeping twosome in his bed, he was surprised to see Ife sitting up and looking at him. "Go back to sleep munchkin." He smiled when she yawned in response and waited until she lay back down before leaving the bedroom and closing the door behind him.

He got showered, shaved and dressed in the guest bathroom and was in the living room looking through his albums when he heard the sound of a door opening and closing. Thinking it was Sam, he glanced over his shoulder to greet her but there was no one there. Frowning, he went back to his CDs and popped one of his favorite operas in the stereo.

A startled gasp had him turning around fully, searching eyes landing on the little girl standing in the hallway.

"Well, hello," he said softly, smiling. "How did you get here?"

Ife was looking around, a small frown on her face. It took him a moment to realize she was looking for the source of music and then her gaze landed on him again. "Pee."

"Pee?" He questioned, before noticing the way she was standing. "Oh, you need to pee."

"Yes." He was rewarded with a beaming smile that reminded him of Sam.

Jack wondered why she wasn't wearing a diaper and suddenly recalled he hadn't seen any in the bag Sam had taken with her from the infirmary. Had she forgotten to pack them? How had she dealt with it overnight? "Um…" He walked over to Ife and reached out a hand, mildly surprised when she grabbed it without hesitation considering her earlier shyness. "Let's get you to the bathroom."

To his surprise, she confidently walked up to the toilet, pushed down her underwear and simply stood there, "Up."

"Okay." He lifted her up onto the seat and held on for fear of her losing her balance, but it all went off without a hitch. Sam must have done the same thing with her last night and perhaps even in the infirmary, since Ife didn't seem to have any issues with using the toilet.

"Done."

Before Jack could do or say anything, she slipped off the toilet and pulled up her underwear before toddling off. Okay, so maybe she didn't have the whole bathroom routine down entirely, but he was still impressed. If he recalled correctly, Sara hadn't started potty training Charlie until he was about two and a half – and they'd started with a potty, not the toilet.

He wondered if Doctor Fraiser knew, because he was pretty sure that meant the girl was closer to a year and a half than a year old…

He found Ife in the hallway, trying to open the bedroom door. "What'cha doing, munchkin?"

"Momma," she said, in the most plaintive voice he'd ever heard.

"Do you want to go back to bed or your mommy?"

Ife sat gracelessly down onto the floor and sighed. "Momma."

Jack leaned down, ignoring his aching knees, "I think your mommy is still asleep, but let's take a look." He reached out and lifted the girl into his arms, before straightening up and opening the door to peek into the bedroom. Sam had rolled onto her side, but appeared to still be asleep. "See," he whispered, "Mommy is asleep."

Leaning back in his arms, Ife pouted. "Hungwy."

He closed the door and headed towards the kitchen. "Well, we can do something about that," he said, tickling her tummy.

Ife giggled and hid her face in his neck.

In the kitchen, Jack took a bowl from the cupboards and got some fruit and juice from the fridge. It had been a long time since he'd cared for someone as young as Ife and he wasn't sure how much she ate, so he just put a couple of berries in the bowl. He'd rather give her more later or have Sam feed her, than give her too much.

He walked over to the kitchen table before realizing the chair would be too low for the girl, so he went to the living room and put the bowl onto the coffee table. "I'm just gonna put you down onto the sofa, okay? Then I'll be back with some fruit juice."

Ife simply blinked at him, not saying a word.

To be honest, Jack was surprised she'd said as much as she had, considering he hadn't heard her speak at all at the SGC. He left her on the sofa and went back to the kitchen to pour her the promised juice. There were no plastic cups and he hadn't thought to buy a sippy cup when he and Daniel were in the baby store, so he grabbed a glass and hoped for the best. He had just left the kitchen when he heard a loud bang, followed by loud cries.

"Crap!" A million scenarios flashed through his head before he'd reached the living room and found Ife crying on the floor, in front of the sliding door to the patio. He set the glass on the table and rushed over, kneeling next to the girl. "Hey, what happened?"

Ife simply continued crying, tears rolling down her face.

"C'mere," he pulled her into his arms and rubbed her back in a hopefully soothing manner. "Hush, now munchkin. You're gonna be fine. Ssh."

Slowly but surely, the crying stopped and when Jack got a good look at her, he saw a big bump forming on her forehead. A quick glance at the glass door confirmed his suspicions and he silently berated himself for not keeping a closer eye on her. She'd probably never encountered a glass door or window before…

Jack spoke soft, comforting words to Ife as he took her back to the kitchen, breakfast forgotten, and got a bag of frozen peas from the freezer. He threw a towel over the bag and made Ife sit on the counter to get a closer look at her bump. "This is going to be a bit cold, but it'll help with the pain. I promise," he added, when she just looked at him with wide eyes.

Ife whimpered, her bottom lip trembling as if she was about to burst into tears again.

"You're gonna be okay, munchkin."

After icing her forehead for a few minutes, Jack tossed the bag of peas in the sink and examined the damage. Her forehead was damp and her cheeks tear stained, so he wetted the towel and used it to wipe her little face. The gesture seemed to calm her down and he smiled at her, hoping the worst was over. Using a dry corner of the towel, he wiped her face dry and was surprised to see how pale her forehead was. Her eyes and cheeks were still red from all the crying, but he was pretty sure he'd just removed the final layer of mud on the girl's face. Fraiser had told everyone her theory about Ife's rash and how scrubbing her skin clean could worsen it, but that had been days ago. He'd expected the last traces of mud to have already been removed and hoped his actions wouldn't have any consequences for her health.

"There, all better!" He said, in the most cheerful tone he could muster.

Ife reached for her forehead, wincing when she touched the bump. "Ow."

Jack held her in place with one hand and opened the fridge with his other. "There's just one more thing to make you good as new," he said, grabbing the butter. He scooped some butter up with his finger and reached for her forehead. "My grandma always put butter on my bumps and bruises when I was a kid," he told the girl. "It helps with the swelling and makes them go away faster."

"Gwandma."

"Yeah, a grandma is… like my mommy's mommy."

The concept of a grandparent seemed to go beyond Ife's understanding. Instead, she smiled. "Hungwy."

"Right, breakfast. We forgot all about that. How about this time I just stay on the sofa with you, okay?"

* * *

Sam slowly woke up but refused to open her eyes just yet and instead stretched her tall frame, before snuggling back into the warm comforter. She couldn't remember the last time she'd slept so comfortably and was reluctant to get out of bed. Her eyes popped open though when she realized she couldn't sense Ife nearby. A quick look around the room gave no indication of where her daughter was.

Panic welled up inside of her and she dashed off to the bathroom, but Ife wasn't there either. When she came back into the bedroom, Sam's eyes caught sight of the alarm clock and she was stunned to see half the morning had already passed.

Maybe Ife was with Jack?

Sam went over to the dresser with Jack's clothes and retrieved a pair of black boxers. The sweat pants he'd given her last night had proven to be too warm in bed, so she'd only worn the shirt and exchanged that for a long-sleeved button-up shirt in the middle of the night. She put on the boxers and buttoned up shirt before going into the hallway.

She stumbled into the kitchen by accident, but no one was there. Last night, she hadn't really taken a look around, so she had no idea of the house's layout. It turned out the kitchen was connected to a simple dining room and beyond that was a sunken living room. "Ife? Jack?"

"Over here," Jack called out, his hand appearing on the other side of the half-wall. "There are steps to the living room on your left."

In the living room, she found the two of them on the sofa, watching TV. "Hey."

"Good morning," he said. "Sleep okay?"

"Yeah, I slept really well, actually. Thanks again for putting up with us."

Jack turned to face her, a mildly exasperated look on his face. "I told you, it's fine. Don't worry about it."

She nodded in understanding but quite honestly couldn't imagine having done the same thing if their roles had been reversed. "I hope Ife didn't wake you up."

"Nah, I was already up."

"I didn't mean to sleep so late."

He shrugged, "Guess you needed it."

Sam was starting to feel self-conscious as he kept his gaze on her, a small smile playing on his lips. It had been a long time since she'd worried about looking good for a man and suddenly felt frumpy and unkempt. She hadn't even gotten dressed properly and was probably suffering from a severe case of bed hair. His smile turned into a grin when she quickly ran a hand through her hair to tame it and she figured it was no use. "Has Ife been good? She's been unusually shy since we got to Earth so… what's that?"

"Don't worry, it's just a small bruise," Jack said, when her eyes landed on the bump on Ife's forehead. "Damn glass door. I'll get some of those bird stickers or something."

"Uh, that's okay."

"No, I don't want it to happen again."

Sam figured Ife would learn soon enough that the glass doors were solid after the encounter. "You don't need to make adjustments to your house."

He shrugged. "Nothing wrong with baby proofing it when there's an actual baby in the house. Hell, my knees would probably appreciate some of those cushion thingies to cover the sharp edges of that damn coffee table."

"Jack…"

Ife started squirming, drawing both their attention, and reached for her. "Momma."

He waited until she took her from him before he spoke again, gesturing at the baby. "I hope you don't mind me taking care of her. I mean, you were fast asleep and I didn't want to wake you. You looked like you needed the rest. I just iced it for a few minutes and then put some butter on it. To reduce the swelling."

"Thank you." She caressed her daughter's hair and gently ran her finger down her forehead, circling the bump. Ife didn't react, seemingly already having forgotten about the injury. Sam turned back to him, smiling gratefully. "I really appreciate what you did. Both for her and letting me sleep. I swear, this won't happen again. You offered us a place to stay until my financials and everything has been sorted, but I don't expect you to take care of Ife for me. Next time, I'll set the alarm and if she does wake up early, feel free to wake me."

Jack got up and made a dismissive gesture with his hand. "It's fine, Sam. These things can happen and I don't mind. As a matter of fact, I think Ife and I had a lot fun, didn't we?" He reached out and caressed Ife's cheek, who smiled before shyly hiding her face in Sam's neck again. "Why don't you two take a seat and I'll make you some breakfast. Ife already had some fruit and juice, so I'm pretty sure she's had her fill. How do pancakes sound, Sam?"


	6. Chapter 6

**O'Neill Residence**  
**Colorado Springs, CO**  
**November 21, 1999**

Sitting in his truck, Jack watched the house and wondered what Sam was up to. He knew she and Ife were still inside, which was precisely why he hadn't left his truck yet despite turning off the engine a few minutes ago. Offering them a place to stay had seemed like a good idea at the time, even if he wasn't entirely sure about his motives. However, after spending the day with them yesterday and having breakfast together that morning, he'd realized he was enjoying it a bit too much.

He _liked_ having them around.

For someone who liked his solitude and privacy, he'd been caught off-guard when he realized he liked sharing his space and things with a woman again and the pitter-patter and giggles of a little girl made his house seem… less empty.

So, when he got a call from the base shortly after breakfast, he'd told Sam it was an emergency and fled. Sam and Ife hadn't even been in his house for two days and already he needed some distance for a reality check – they needed somewhere to stay until Sam had access to her funds and could get their own place, they weren't in his house to play happy families.

Well, at least he'd gotten to spend some time with Teal'c on base. He and the big guy hadn't really talked about his behavior leading up to the undercover mission to terminate the Rogue NID base, but according to T all was well between them. Jack was pretty sure that translated to Teal'c exactly knowing what he was up to the whole time…

The sun was setting and he realized it was time to go inside. He'd been gone for most of the day, already. Of course, it was entirely possible that Sam actually enjoyed having the house to herself and not having him around the whole time. She, Ife and Bra'tac had been living pretty solitary lives off-world, after all. Then again, it was kind of rude of him to leave her and Ife to their own devices after offering them a place to stay…

Jack was welcomed by warmth, the smell of food and Sam's voice when he opened the front door and shrugged off his jacket. Logically, he knew the warmth came from the central heating but he couldn't suppress the ache he felt in his chest at the picture Sam and Ife made on the living room floor. They were sitting on the quilt Catherine had made – Sam Indian style and Ife across from her – in front of the fireplace.

Sam turned around when he came down the steps and quirked a little smile. "Hey, you're back."

"Yeah."

"Sorry about the mess," she said, "I'll clean it up. I didn't know how long you'd be, so I made some soup and figured I'd feed Ife before putting her down for a nap. I hope you don't mind-"

Jack waved her down when she was about to get up. "It's fine, don't worry about it."

He caught sight of her abashed smile before she turned back to her daughter, mumbling, "You haven't seen the kitchen yet."

"I guess I'll just avoid the kitchen for now then," he said, taking a seat on the sofa. There was a bowl of soup, coffee cup, bottle of water, bib and the plush toy Daniel had picked out on the coffee table. Jack figured that was better than old magazines, takeout boxes and empty beer bottles. It felt… homey. Made the room look lived in, in a good way. "She still taking naps?"

"I think she tired herself out," Sam said, glancing at him over her shoulder. "You should have seen her this afternoon… I think she's just glad for the space after being cooped up in the infirmary's plastic bubble for a week."

That much was obvious. He'd visited them daily and sometimes more than once a day when they'd been in quarantine and most of the time, Ife had been sleeping, resting or being sick. The girl had been quiet and shy, quite the opposite of her behavior since waking up in his house. Just a few days ago, he'd been in agreement with the Doc about Ife's underdevelopment but since then, she'd been walking and talking, as much as her one-word responses could be called talking. Not to mention using the bathroom. Fraiser wasn't on duty until after the weekend, so he hadn't spoken to her yet about his observations, but he'd made a note to discuss them with her.

Sam got to her feet and lifted a drowsy-looking Ife up in her arms, casting him a quick glance before heading for the steps. "I'm just going to put her down for a nap."

"Sure," he said, "sleep tight, munchkin."

Once they disappeared into the hallway, he got more comfortable on the sofa and grabbed the remote to turn on the TV. There wasn't anything that held his attention though, so he kept channel surfing mindlessly. After a few minutes, he got up and went to the kitchen to get a beer, turning on lights as he went.

He stopped in the door opening, staring at the counter. Sam hadn't been kidding. However, he was unable to curb his curiosity and entered the kitchen to inspect the mess. Up close, he realized it was mostly used and discarded pots, pans and utensils, so he simply loaded them into the dishwasher. There were a few lost potato peels and carrot tops, which he threw in the bin before wiping down the counter.

The soup actually didn't look all that bad, so he filled himself a bowl as a reward for the cleanup and got a beer from the fridge. He went back to the living room and retook his place on the sofa to eat his light meal. The TV hadn't become any more interesting than a few minutes ago, though.

Sam came back into the living room just as he set his empty bowl onto the coffee table.

"The soup's good."

"Thanks. I was planning on making some actual dinner…"

"But you ran out of clean pots and pans?" He finished in a teasing tone.

She ducked her head, a blush creeping up her cheeks. "I told you the kitchen was a mess."

He shrugged, "Don't worry about, it's fine. Actually, I can't remember the last time I had homemade soup. The crap they serve in the commissary can't really be called soup."

Sam made a helpless gesture with her right hand, sighing. "I was never much of a cook before… well, before. I learned a lot though. Give me an animal, some leaves or sticks and a campfire, and I can make you dinner. No promises it'll taste very good, but it'll fill you up," she said, chuckling softly. "Pots and pans, though? I'm afraid I haven't mastered that ability yet."

"We've got time."

"'We'?"

"Um, well," he stammered, "I meant… um-"

A small grin tugged at her lips, "You're going to teach me how to cook properly, Jack?"

"Hey, I can cook a meal or two," he said.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. And I've got plenty of pots and pans _and_ a dishwasher for you to learn."

"I'll keep that in mind."

He smirked and turned back to the TV, "You do that."

After a minute or two, Jack realized she was still standing in the same spot, looking uncomfortable. "Sam?"

She bit her lip and looked down at her hands, one of which was holding something. "I saw these last night and I didn't want to bring it up, but when I just put Ife to bed I realized you might want them."

"Oh." As soon as she started explaining, he realized what she was holding in her hand. The thought had crossed his mind, but only before going to bed and by then she was already in his room. He reached out to take the photographs from her when she crossed the distance between them. "Thanks."

"A-are they…" Sam sighed and sat down next to him, a small frown on her face. "Is that your family?"

"Yeah."

"Oh."

A quick glance at her face didn't tell him what she was thinking, so he dropped his gaze back to the picture frames. The family that no longer was stared back at him in one and in the other, Charlie was holding his first trophy and the boy's grin was as wide as his own. There were a few more pictures of Charlie around the house and Jack wondered if Sam had noticed he was pretty much the same age in all of them, except for one baby picture.

Sam hesitantly reached out and covered his hand as he traced Charlie's smile with his fingers. It was the first physical contact she'd initiated and that alone was enough to make him freeze. "You don't have to tell me about them, Jack. I just thought you should have the photographs."

"No, I, er…" He pushed back the emotions and cleared his throat before trying again, "I should explain."

"You don't owe me anything."

Jack scrubbed a hand over his face and tried to find the words. She trusted him enough to bring her daughter into his home – she deserved to know the truth. "Four years ago, Charlie… he died. Sara and I, we tried, but we couldn't make it work. Losing him destroyed us."

"Oh, Jack-"

"Then General West offered me a way out."

Sam went still, her hand on his tensing. "The first mission to Abydos."

He grimaced, "Didn't quite go as planned."

"You survived."

"And Sara was gone when I got back. Can't say that I blame her."

"Everyone deals with grief in their own way. The death of a child… they say you either grow closer or drift apart."

"I wasn't there for her, because I couldn't forgive myself. Sara had enough to deal with without my complete lack of support, so we separated."

Sam's gaze drifted from Charlie's picture to the direction of the back of the house, where Ife was asleep. "I can't even imagine."

Jack placed the photographs on the end table to take them with him to the guest room later that evening. Turning back to her, he felt the need to clarify, "The divorce was finalized a few months before we met. In DC."

"I'm sorry."

"It was for the best. Sara deserved better." He raised a hand to forestall her response when she was about to open her mouth, "Trust me. Sara… I think in her heart she forgave me for what happened to our kid, she just…couldn't forget. I'm the opposite, I'll never forgive myself, but sometimes I can forget. Sometimes."

"Jack–"

"It was my fault," he said, after taking a swig of beer. Talking had never been his thing and certainly not when it was about feelings, never mind Charlie, but for some reason, he just had to tell her. He needed her to know. "Charlie found my gun… he accidentally shot himself."

"Christ…"

Jack waited for the rest of her reaction but when he saw the concern etched on her face, he felt his heart sink. "I'd understand if you don't trust me with Ife," he rushed the words, "or that you'd feel my house is an unsafe environment for her. I swear, I locked my sidearm in the gun safe the night you came here, but I'd understand if y-"

"That's not what I'm worried about."

"No?"

* * *

 

"Jesus Jack, you lost your son." Sam could tell he was surprised by her vehement response but she couldn't get over the horrific way he'd lost his son. The memories of her own fear over her unborn child while pregnant and later the baby's safety after Ife was born came back to her. She recalled Han'na's heartbreaking story about the children she'd lost and how it had reinforced her own determination to keep Ife safe, but she hadn't been able to suppress the ever-present fear that Ife would get hurt – or worse.

Jack looked away, the pained expression on his face tugging on her heartstrings. "We'd argued about a water pistol a few weeks before… Sara didn't want guns around the house and I agreed that Charlie shouldn't play with fake guns, but I thought I needed the sidearm to protect my family in case someone from my past missions tracked me down."

"It wasn't your fault, Jack."

"Of course it was my fault! I should have kept my loaded gun under lock and key, not somewhere my boy could get his hands on it!"

Sam's heart ached for him and she reached out, gently placing a hand on his shoulder. "It was an accident."

"It was my gun!"

"I know," she said softly, squeezing his shoulder. "But you didn't know Charlie would find it."

Jack angrily rubbed at his eyes, "I should have known. He was always so curious."

"You couldn't have foreseen this. Blaming yourself isn't going to bring him back."

"He was my kid, Sam, and he shot himself with my gun."

She had no idea what to say because, like him, she never would forgive herself if something happened to Ife. Seeing how torn up he was broke her heart though, so she took a leaf out of his book and slid her hand up to his neck, tugging gently, "C'mere."

Jack resisted briefly before he let her pull him into a hug, dipping his head in the crook of her neck.

He nearly squeezed the air from her lungs as he wrapped his arms around her waist, but she didn't say anything and hesitantly returned the gesture. It had been a long time since she'd been completely enveloped in someone else's arms and she swallowed hard against the panic threatening to overwhelm her. Instead, she tightened her grip on him and stroked his hair when his emotions got the better of him. "It wasn't your fault," she whispered.

His body started shaking in her arms and she felt his harsh breaths against her neck, sending a shudder down her back. Charlie's photograph was on the end table behind Jack and she felt the burn of tears in her eyes over his loss. There was nothing more devastating than losing a child and although she couldn't realistically comprehend such a loss, she knew she'd have done the same he did. If Ife hadn't made it off-world, she never would have fought so hard to survive, to return home. What would have been the point?

"Christ," Jack mumbled as he pulled away from the hug, turning away from her and scrubbing a hand over his face. "Sorry about that."

"Don't be."

He quirked a sad smile before getting to his feet. "You've got enough on your plate without dealing with my crap."

"Jack…"

"I'm just gonna get a refill. Can I get you anything?"

Sam shook her head and watched as he picked up his beer bottle – nowhere near empty – and headed for the kitchen. He needed some privacy and she would give it to him. Besides, she didn't mind a moment to get a grip on her own turbulent emotions.

Fuck.

He lost his son.

Seeing the photographs in his bedroom had confused her at first, but then she'd realized those and a few others of Charlie were the only signs of Jack possibly having a family. It hadn't escaped her attention that the boy was roughly the same age in most of them, never older than eight years or so. Naively, she'd hoped that simply meant Jack had gotten a divorce – preferably before they'd met in DC – and his ex-wife had sole custody.

It reminded her once again that they didn't really know each other at all. Not the way they might have, if her first ever off-world mission hadn't gone wrong and they'd met up at the SGC again…

What was she supposed to do now? She couldn't very well tell him about Ife, not when he'd just revealed what had happened to his son. No, it would have to wait. Even if he was open to having more kids – God knew she didn't have his strength – it would feel like she was trying to replace one child with another if she told him right away. And who knew, Jack might not want to risk his heart again by starting a new family. Could she really put him that position?

"I shouldn't have dumped all that on you." Jack's voice was still a bit hoarse as he reappeared in the living room.

"Don't apologize," Sam said, before he could do so.

He looked a bit confused. "Um, okay."

She got up and briefly touched his arm. "It means a lot that you confided in me."

"You trust me with your little girl, so I figured you had a right to know."

"And I still trust you, Jack."

Grimacing, he rubbed the back of his neck, avoiding her gaze. "Yeah, well, maybe you shouldn't."

Sam reached up and cupped his cheeks, forcing him to look at her. "I trusted you to find Grieves and his accomplices so I could come home and you did. I've seen you with Ife and I know you wouldn't let anything happen to her."

"Not on purpose."

"I know," she said, seeing the conviction in his eyes. "However, I would understand if it's too much for you."

Jack covered her hands with his own and gently pulled them away from his face. "Too much?"

"Of a reminder."

"I wouldn't have made the offer if I couldn't handle it, Sam.'

"Sure?"

He quirked a smile at her and nodded slowly, "Yeah. If I didn't feel like I'd be able to handle having a child around, I wouldn't occasionally watch Fraiser's kid either."

Relieved, Sam returned the smile. It was good to know he still cared and hadn't closed off his heart because of what happened with Charlie. "I had no idea."

"Kids and dogs are my favorite people," he said, shrugging. His gaze drifted off towards the back of the house, where Ife was sleeping. "Maybe, in the future… I don't know. If I'm with the right person…"

She could tell he was struggling but she needed to know, for Ife's sake, so she prompted him, "Yeah?"

"Yeah, like I said, maybe," he grimaced again. "Just… it scares me, you know, to have that kind of responsibility. To be a parent, again."

"Scary as hell," she affirmed.

He indicated the back of the house, "Ife's a sweetheart, though. Takes after you in the looks department, too. A little mini Sam."

Startled, Sam just stared at him for a moment. No one had commented on who Ife took after yet and she was pretty sure that was because they all assumed she was Klorel's – Skaara's, she reminded herself – child. And she hadn't done anything to dissuade them from that notion. "I was terrified when I found out I was pregnant."

"Sam…"

She could tell he was searching for the right thing to say and she didn't even know why she'd blurted it out, because she certainly didn't want him to ask too many questions. "I'd never given kids much thought and to be responsible for a baby scared the hell out of me."

"I'd say that's pretty normal, especially considering your circumstances," he said. "Hell, you had it rough but you did a great job with her."

"We've run into hostiles and I can't even remember the number of times weapons have been fired in Ife's presence," she said, huffing. "I disemboweled and skinned animals in front of her."

The look in his eyes softened in understanding. "Still, she's a great kid."

"I've had so many near-misses with her, but aside from Bra'tac and myself, I wouldn't trust anyone with her the way I trust you, Jack."

"Christ, Sam," he said, "that's a lot of responsibility."

She bit her lip and nodded slowly. "Yeah… so if it's all the same to you, we're staying here, with you."


	7. Chapter 7

**O'Neill Residence**  
**Colorado Springs, CO**  
**November 22, 1998**

Sam looked up from the toy she had introduced Ife to when the front door opened and closed. She knew it was Jack coming home and it felt strange. Very… domestic. But kind of nice, too. Before everything, when she'd still been working at the Pentagon, she had never been the type to wait for her man, but she'd gotten quite a bit of practice of it off-world, waiting for Bra'tac to come back from one of his trips. She wasn't in a relationship with either man though and it felt different this time. Not only were they on Earth, but she was staying in Jack's house. She slept in his bed, wore his clothes, ate his food and was surrounded by his things. "You're back."

Jack looked up when he entered the living room. "Hey, you two."

"How did it go?" She'd almost asked him how his day went, but decided that was too domestic.

"Fine. Long day."

He looked rather tense. "Did you go off-world?"

"No. We don't have another mission until next week. Daniel made it back home from Abydos but I'm pretty sure things didn't go well or maybe Sha're didn't want him to leave; either way, he was in a bad mood."

"Oh," Sam said noncommittally. The subject of Sha're or Amaunet wasn't one she wanted to discuss and had tried her damnedest to avoid whenever Daniel visited her in quarantine. Early on, she had figured out that Amaunet had taken her pen pal's wife as host and she'd quickly deduced Klorel's host was Sha're's younger brother, but that didn't mean she felt any connection with them. Skaara was still the same person as Klorel in her mind and Amaunet… well, she hadn't seen much of Apophis' mate and she'd been too busy protecting her unborn child to stick her neck out for a woman she didn't even know.

Jack had some kind of way to read her because he'd proven time and again that he knew exactly what subjects she did and didn't want to discuss. "I spent most of my mornings in meetings, went sparring with Teal'c in the afternoon and combed through personnel files to find a fourth member for SG-1."

"What about that alien who came back to Earth with you? The one who'd helped Teal'c."

"Nyan? Nah, he's probably better suited to work at the SGC. Besides, even if he was good in the field, he'd have pretty much the same skillset as Daniel. I really don't need two of him or any another scientist with a different skillset."

She was reminded of how he'd mentioned wanting another military member on his team. It made sense since he already had an archaeologist and an alien warrior, but she couldn't help but think about how Kershaw had worked out. Just thinking about what that woman did was enough to make her blood boil… "You'll find someone."

"Eventually."

"Do you really need a four-man team?"

He shrugged, "It doesn't say anywhere in the regulations that an SG team has to have four members, but it works out best in the field."

"Is that why your next mission isn't scheduled until next week?"

"No, we wanted to give Daniel some time with Sha're… and whenever he's on Earth, he's researching Kheb in the hopes of locating the planet where Amaunet hid Sha're's son."

It didn't take much for Sam to imagine what Sha're had to be going through, but that was more a mother-to-mother thing than a former host-to-former host thing. She knew ignoring her ordeal with Herit wasn't going to make it go away, but it made it easier for her to move on – Sha're probably couldn't, not until she found her son. "I wish I could tell you more, but I've never heard of Kheb and I have no idea where Amaunet went to after I escaped."

"Yeah, didn't think you did. I mean, you wouldn't have kept that from Daniel if you knew."

"No, I wouldn't have," she said softly. The way he was looking at her made her feel bad about the secrets she was keeping from him. The only one that really applied to him was Ife, but there was so much other stuff she hadn't told anyone. She figured it would take time before she felt comfortable sharing any of that with another person. Doctor MacKenzie could probably tell her more but after the initial session, she'd blown him off and told him therapy wasn't for her.

"That's okay," Jack said. "We'll find him, eventually."

Suddenly, he went back to studying her and it unnerved her. Worried that he'd start talking about the possibility of the boy being _harsesis_ , like Daniel had already done a week ago, she got to her feet and smiled. "I made dinner."

"I thought I smelled something coming from the kitchen."

"Are you hungry?"

He shrugged and lowered himself to Ife's level to properly greet her. "Sure, I can eat."

Sam left him to watch their daughter and headed into the kitchen. It was strange how she had no trouble thinking of Ife as _theirs_ , even though she hadn't broached the subject with Jack yet. Pushing the thought away, she got everything she needed from the kitchen and set the table. She looked over the half-wall into the living room, smiling at the sight of Jack and Ife together. "Dinner is ready. You can put Ife in the playpen, she's already been fed."

After doing as he was told, Jack joined her at the table and eyed the food. "Soup, bread and… a fruit salad?"

"I know, I know," she said, rolling her eyes. The diet the doctor had prescribed didn't include the kind of meals he was probably used to, but they filled her up and the taste was pretty similar to what she'd been eating the past two years. According to the doctor, it wasn't strange that her taste buds had adjusted and some of the Earth food she'd previously enjoyed didn't taste appealing at all anymore. "Another strange combination."

"Hey, whatever floats your boat. Did Ife have some soup?"

"Uh, no."

He eyed the fruit salad. "Is the fruit enough to fill her up?"

"I fed her."

"Well yeah," he said, "but Doc Fraiser said Ife needed more calories and stuff."

Sam rolled her eyes. "No, I meant _I_ fed her."

Jack frowned in confusion for a moment, before his face cleared and his eyes dropped to her chest and he cleared his throat awkwardly. "Oh, um, right."

"She'll be fine. Shall we eat?"

"Yeah, I'm starving."

She suppressed a smile and reached for a piece of bread. His reaction shouldn't have surprised her considering she hadn't breastfed Ife in his presence. Not that she went out of her way to do it when he wasn't around, but she was taking the doctor's advice about weaning Ife off breastmilk and giving her more solid foods to aid in her development. Jack just usually wasn't around when she did breastfeed Ife.

Jack made some small talk during dinner, including telling her about the latest SGC gossip, but once they were done he retrieved a large envelope for her. "This is for you. Major Davis said he got all the necessary paperwork for you and Ife."

"Oh."

"You don't want to open it?"

The envelope weighed next to nothing, an odd realization considering it held all the proof about her and Ife's existence. She skimmed the paperwork relating to her until she found her daughter's birth certificate.

_Ife Carter_.

_Mother's maiden name Samantha Carter._

_Father's name unknown_.

"Sam? Hey, you okay?"

It wasn't until Jack gently touched her arm that Sam realized she'd been staring at the piece of paper and holding it in a death grip. The look on his face spoke of his concern for her and it only served to make her feel guiltier. She cleared her throat and gave him a small smile, "Yeah, I'm fine."

Uncertainty flashed through his eyes as he looked from her to the certificate. "Is it because of…," he trailed off, unwilling to say the words, and sighed. "I didn't mean to upset you."

"No, it's okay. It's… well, I guess Ife has a birthdate now." She knew it was a lame excuse but it was the first one that popped into her head. While it was true that she had no idea when exactly Ife was born, she was pretty sure the date was a month or two off since she knew on which date their daughter was conceived. Sam's calculations put the birth somewhere in April, even if Ife had been early or overdue. "I better clear the table."

"Sam…"

"I'm fine, Jack. Thank you for bringing me the paperwork," she said as she collected their plates.

He followed her into the kitchen a few minutes later, carrying the soup pot. "Davis said they're still working out your financials. General Hammond has also informed your brother about your, um, situation."

She nearly dropped the plates and set them down on the counter before turning to him. "Mark? Do you know what he told him?"

"The cover story: you were on an undercover mission and we had to fake your death somewhere along the way."

"Ife?"

"No, Hammond thought that would be up to you."

Grimacing, she leaned against the counter. Mark had always painted her with the same brush as Dad because she'd joined the military, too. They'd drifted apart once she'd been commissioned and hadn't stayed in touch much. How was she supposed to explain the whole situation to him? He'd never been very understanding when it involved the military and since he and Dad had recently made up, he would probably find fault with her for letting Dad think she was dead. "Great. I'll just tell him that while Dad was dying, I couldn't be bothered to reveal the fact that I was alive, but somehow found a way to get knocked up and keep the baby a secret too."

Jack made a face, "Cut him some slack, Sam. It's gotta be a shock to get a phone call like that. And who knows, he might not react the way you think. Maybe he's just happy that you're alive."

"You don't know my brother," she said. "General Hammond said he didn't even attend my funeral."

"I know."

"You do?"

He shrugged, looking a little uncomfortable, "I was there with Hammond, Catherine and some others from the SGC."

No one had told her. She'd only asked the General if Mark and her dad had been there. "Oh."

"While you were gone, your dad and Mark reconciled, Sam. Maybe Mark's perspective changed after… what happened. He forgave your dad, didn't he? Now you're all the family he has left."

"Mark hasn't needed me for a long time and he has his own family."

Jack leaned his hip against the counter, standing close to her. "Just… give him a chance, okay? He might surprise you."

Sam found it hard to say no when he was looking at her like that, so she nodded. "Okay. I'll call him tomorrow."

"Good."

"He's probably upset that he was told over the phone and not in person."

"Yeah, can't blame him," Jack said, grimacing. "But Hammond had to inform him before Mark found out some other way."

"Well, unless the Air Force is going to make a nation-wide announcement, I doubt Mark would have heard about my return," she scoffed. "We don't have any friends in common and the only contact we had before I left was through holiday cards."

Jack cleared his throat and jerked his head in the direction of the table, "Davis may have mentioned something about Mark."

"Davis?"

"After you were declared dead, all your savings and assets went to your dad-"

Sam suddenly realized what he meant and felt stupid for not thinking about it earlier, "And when Dad died, everything went to Mark."

"That's one of the reasons why it's taking them so long to get your financials done."

She bit her lip, wondering how Mark would react to that news. "Right."

Jack bumped her shoulder with his, a small smile on his lips. "Davis did say the Air Force was gonna pay you retroactively since your cover story implies you were on active duty and I wouldn't be surprised if they toss a promotion in there as well."

"Oh." She couldn't say it came as a surprise exactly, but it wasn't something that had been on her mind either. General Hammond had told her she was technically on medical leave, but they both knew there was a good chance she wouldn't come back to active duty. So much had happened and she didn't feel like a captain in the United States Air Force anymore. But with her money and assets gone, getting paid for the past two years and a half years would be nice. So far, she'd let Jack pay for everything because she couldn't do it herself, but she'd never relied on a man to keep her and she wasn't about to start now.

"But like I said, it'll probably take a while until they've got it all figured out."

"Yeah, it would be good to have my own money, though."

Jack gently clasped her shoulder and squeezed it. "Don't worry about any of that for now. You and Ife can stay here for as long as you want. The house is big enough for the three of us."

She looked up into his warm eyes and smiled. "I know, but I don't like to be financially dependent on others."

"Well, you and Ife barely eat anything, so it's not like it's costing me an arm and a leg to have you here."

She rolled her eyes at his teasing and pushed off the counter. "Speaking of which, I think it's about time for Ife's bath."

* * *

**O'Neill Residence**  
**Colorado Springs, CO**  
**November 23, 1999**

Jack looked down when he felt something settle against his side and smiled when he saw Ife had fallen asleep against him. He maneuvered the girl a little until she was more comfortable and settled back into the sofa. _The Simpsons_ was on and he tried to keep his attention focused on the television, absentmindedly stroking Ife's hair while listening to Sam pacing in the dining room.

He hadn't been surprised, exactly, to learn Sam still hadn't called her brother by the time he got back from the base considering the things she'd told him last night. After dinner, he'd offered to look after Ife so she could call Mark. That had been two episodes ago.

Her nerves were understandable, especially concerning Ife, but from what Jacob had told him it seemed like Mark _had_ changed. They hadn't spoken about the other Carter a lot but from what little Jacob had shared, Jack knew Mark regretted not staying in touch with Sam and that he'd been too stubborn and upset with their dad to attend her funeral.

Sam was too focused on how her relationship with her brother used to be to be convinced of it, though. Jack couldn't blame her, after all he had some experience with being the one left behind and coming back to find everyone had moved on with their lives. In her case she'd been gone for over two years. In that time, she'd gone to hell and back, but all of it without being in touch with her friends and family on Earth. For her, nothing had changed in their relationships. But others, like Mark, had mourned her death, moved on and reflected on their regrets. Unlike a lot of people, Sam and Mark had been given another chance.

Jack was about to tell her to just call already when she stopped pacing and he heard her dial the phone in the kitchen a few seconds later. "Your Mommy is worried over nothing, your Uncle Mark will love you, munchkin," he said, kissing the top of Ife's head as she slept.

"Um, hi," Sam said in a small voice. "It's me, Mark. Sam."

Eavesdropping was hardly ever a good idea, but Jack figured this was an exception. Besides, Sam might need his support.

"I'm… doing okay… Honestly, Mark… Yeah… I found out after I got back, I didn't even know he had cancer…"

Jack could hear the emotion in her voice and once again found himself wondering if he'd made the right decision by not telling her about Jacob's illness when they met off-world. He hadn't wanted to make it harder on her because, at the time, going home to visit wasn't an option. Jacob told him he didn't want Sam to be distracted or distraught when she had a mission to complete, so Jack felt like he'd made the right choice. But he and Jacob had both expected Jacob to pull through, at least until Sam got back.

"No," Sam said, sighing. "A week and a half ago… The quarantine was just a precaution, I told you I'm fine now… No, I haven't had time yet. I was only released this weekend… Arlington? With Mom?"

At the mention of Jacob's funeral, Jack felt his own guilt rise. He'd been undercover at the time and attending the service wasn't an option. General Hammond had mentioned it briefly afterwards, but that wasn't the same. He'd wanted to be there himself, to pay his respects and be able to tell Sam about it once she came home. Instead, he had nothing to tell her and had to rely on Hammond to fill in the blanks for her.

When he heard Sam asking her brother questions about the funeral service he decided he was going to give them some privacy. It was almost bedtime for Ife, so he lifted the sleeping girl into his arms and carried her to the master bedroom. He hadn't been in there since Saturday, to get clothes, and while nothing had really changed, it felt different to him. The bed was made like usual, a pair of sweats were folded on a chair – clothes for Sam, probably – and the window was still open. After closing the window, he pulled down the comforter and found one of his button-up long-sleeved shirts lying there. The thought of Sam wearing just his shirt in his bed made his mind go places it shouldn't, so he tried to focus on Ife instead.

The little girl was still fast asleep, so he exchanged her outfit for what looked like one of his black t-shirts. He was pretty sure that was the same shirt she wore on the first morning at his house, when she'd surprised him by asking him for help and the memory elicited a smile. "Sleep tight, munchkin."

After putting Ife to bed, Jack closed the door and followed the sound of Sam's voice. She was still on the phone with Mark but it sounded like they'd moved on from Jacob to Ife, which put Jack on the alert. He found Sam in the kitchen, sitting at the small table there, head in her hand as she spoke. She looked small and vulnerable, her tall yet skinny frame drowning in his oversized clothes and a sad look on her face.

"It's… Yes, Mark…" Sam sighed in frustration and ran a hand through her hair as she listened to her brother on the other end. "That's really none of your business… I know, I… That's not what I meant, Mark… No!"

Jack was itching to go over to her and give Mark a piece of his mind, but he managed to suppress the urge. He knew it wasn't his place and he certainly didn't want to overstep or make Sam feel uncomfortable about staying at his house. So, instead, he simply watched her and was ready to step in if it became too much for her.

"Look, Mark, all you need to know is that she's my daughter and… Yes… I know… I really don't want to get in to that right now… No- I meant over the phone… yes…," she straightened up, a small smile on her face. "Of course… I don't know… Soon… Oh… Thanksgiving?"

Jack shrugged when she looked to him, as if to ask if she should spend the upcoming holiday with her family. Seeing her brother in person would probably be a whole lot better to explain things than speaking to him over the phone, but Jack didn't think Sam was ready to go out to San Diego yet. She hadn't even left his front door yet. Taking Ife on a plane probably wasn't a good idea, either. The little girl hadn't seen anything beyond the SGC and his house since arriving on Earth, and she hadn't fared well at the base with all those strangers around. "Up to you," he said. "They're welcome to come here, too."

Sam's eyes went wide at his suggestion and for a moment, he thought he'd overstepped, but then she shook her head and turned her attention back to Mark. "No, I don't think that's a good idea… Why? Because I'm not ready yet and neither is Ife… yeah… too much, too soon… Maybe, I don't know. I'll have to think about it… of course not… I swear, Mark… No, it's not because of you… Yes… Like I said, maybe… We need to get settled and adjust to being back first… Sure… I'll let you know."

Keeping his ears open, Jack headed for the fridge to get himself a beer. A quick glance at Sam made him put on some water, having noticed she liked to drink herbal tea in the evenings. His interest piqued when she avoided his gaze, her cheeks coloring.

"At a friend's… No, no one you know… It's fine… No, there's plenty of room for us… You don't have to… Oh," she frowned, biting her lip. "Don't worry about it, Mark… Um, because it had to look real… I know you didn't mean to… Honestly, it's fine… Yeah, we'll make do in meantime…"

Jack set a mug of tea in front of her and waited until she looked up at him. "You gonna be okay?"

Sam nodded and mouthed 'Almost done', before refocusing on her phone conversation.

He took his beer with him and left the kitchen, figuring she could use some privacy now that her biggest concern – Ife – was out of the way. He went to the master bedroom and found the little girl was still sound asleep, so he cautiously entered the room and opened the glass sliding door. Ife didn't seem to notice, to his relief. Jack grabbed a fleece blanket and left the door slightly ajar after stepping outside. It was cold but that also meant a good view of the night's sky, which was a good thing considering his telescope was still packed up.

The blanket provided enough warmth for him on the cold wooden chair, as he rested his feet on the railing and stared up at the dark sky. It had been months since he'd last had the time or inclination to go up to the platform and simply stargaze and he felt the usual calm settle over him as he did so.

About twenty minutes and half a bottle of beer later, Sam joined him. "It's cold out here."

He looked at her, where she leaned against the railing with her arms wrapped around herself. She was still wearing his sweats, the only new addition being his boots on her feet. Offering to share his small fleece blanket probably wasn't a good idea… "Yeah."

"I didn't know you had a platform up here."

"For my telescope."

"Oh."

He shrugged and took a swig of beer. "It's still in the guest room. I rarely have enough time to go up here and certainly don't want to waste any by putting the telescope up every time."

She nodded in understanding. "The equipment is too sensitive for these temperatures."

"How did it go with your brother?"

"Better than expected, I suppose."

"Yeah?"

Sam reached for his beer bottle and, after a moment's hesitation, he handed it to her. "Yeah." She took a swig and made a face at the taste – or perhaps the alcohol. "He didn't like the fact that he was told over the phone and by someone he barely knows."

Jack recalled Mark's dislike of the military and its procedures. "Most people don't even get that courtesy."

"Most people don't come back from the dead," she said, raising a brow.

"True."

"I told him he was lucky General Hammond gave him the news himself, instead letting some unknown person inform him."

He held out his hand and waited until she gave him back his beer. "Hammond would have gone to see him in person if he could have, but the man's got a base to run and such a visit isn't something he can justify with his superiors."

She watched him as he finished off the beer. "That's what I told him, too."

"Is he gonna fly out here to see you?"

"He invited me over for Thanksgiving, but I told him I wasn't ready. Ife isn't ready, either. Mark has already gone through most of his leave for the year and his job won't allow him to just fly out to Colorado."

"Oh."

She gave him a wan smile as she rubbed her arms against the cold. "It's for the best. I don't know what to tell him. I need more time to figure out a good lie for my cover story. One that he'll actually believe."

Jack got to his feet and wrapped the blanket around her shoulders. Out of the two of them, he was the one who could easily withstand the cold. "He didn't buy it, eh?"

"Not all of it. After I'd told him about Ife, he brought up the money. He wanted to know why, if my death was faked, my assets had gone to Dad and upon Dad's passing, to him, instead of being secured elsewhere."

"Good point."

She chuckled softly and snuggled deeper into the blanket. "He's smart."

Jack slowly reached out and, when she didn't flinch or pull away, placed his hand on her back and rubbed it in circles over the blanket, to generate some additional heat. "Guess it runs in the family."

"I told him that was just to make it real, because I had no idea what else to say. Of course, then he confessed that he'd already used a big part of it to renovate the house and build an extension to it."

"Oy."

"I don't care about the money," she said. "If I get paid retroactively for the time I was… missing, then I'll have enough to start a new life for me and Ife."

He ignored the dread he felt at the thought of her and Ife starting a life elsewhere and decided to change the subject. It would be at least few more weeks before Davis had her financials all figured out anyway. "So, you said no to Thanksgiving?"

"Yeah. Thank you for suggesting Mark and his family could come over to celebrate it here, but I didn't think I was quite ready for that either. Mark suggested Christmas, though."

"That'll give you another month to get your story straight."

She gave him a knowing look that told him she was well aware that he knew her apprehensiveness wasn't just about the cover story. "I suppose."

"I didn't say anything earlier because I was pretty sure you hadn't even thought about the holidays yet, but Doc Fraiser invited us over for Thanksgiving dinner at her place."

"She did?"

He nodded. "Yep."

Sam frowned, caught off-guard by the invitation of a woman she barely knew. "Are you sure it wasn't just meant for you?"

"Nah, she said to extend the invite to you," Jack said. "I just didn't know if you and Ife were up to it."

"I don't have anything to wear."

He chuckled and gave her a onceover. "Well, I'd say you're welcome to borrow anything of mine, but I don't think that's what you meant."

A small smile tugged at her lips as she shook her head. "I was thinking something more… festive."

"I'm sure we can find you something. We could even go shopping tomorrow if you want," he added, making a face at the prospect. "Just, think about it. I'm sure the Doc won't mind if we let her know we can't make it."


	8. Chapter 8

**O'Neill Residence**   
**Colorado Springs, CO**   
**November 25, 1999**

Jack turned off the oven and pulled out the pumpkin pie. Sam had agreed to Thanksgiving dinner at Fraiser's, so he'd decided to bake a pie. General Hammond had sent Jack home early when he learned of Doctor Fraiser's dinner and that Sam would be attending with Ife.

Dixon had offered to work for Hammond later that day, saying something about his in-laws coming over to stay for a couple of days and needing all the time away from home he could get. The General had plans with his own kids and grandkids, so he'd taken the Lieutenant Colonel up on his offer. That way, Jack didn't have to feel guilty about not doing an evening shift, like he usually did. Well, before Doc Fraiser had roped SG-1 into spending the holidays at her house, claiming it would upset Cassandra if they weren't there.

Jack was still surprised Sam had agreed to go but he also recognized her need to prove she was all right – even though he was pretty sure she wasn't. Too much had happened to her for her to simply forget and move on. There were a lot of things she hadn't spoken about yet but he knew some of what she'd endured, partly because of what Moac told them, the confessions of a dying yet taunting Apophis and Teal'c's knowledge of Goa'uld society from his time in service of Apophis.

Hopefully, a dinner with friends – or, in Sam's case, friendly people – would be a step in the right direction. It was going to be the first time she and Ife left the house, but he figured Thanksgiving dinner at the Doc's place was a better option than going to the supermarket or mall considering the number of strangers there. Ife had also been very quiet during their time at the SGC, much more so than at his house, which Sam partly blamed on the strange surroundings and all the people.

He was a little concerned about how Ife would react to a change of scenery, but Sam figured a few hours was doable. Just dinner, some small talk and possibly help clean up. Then again, considering how tense Sam had been all day, perhaps he should be more concerned about her. She wasn't very good at small talk and he was worried how she would react if anyone asked her about her time off-world. Daniel was especially a likely candidate to put his foot in his mouth.

Jack decided he was gonna keep an eye on Daniel to make sure he didn't ambush Sam with questions or say something stupid. A quick look at the clock reminded Jack that they had to leave in a little under two hours. The pie looked good and he was pretty sure the others and Fraiser would take care of the actual meal, so he grabbed the bottle of wine he'd bought and set it next to the pie. That way he wouldn't forget to bring either to the Thanksgiving dinner.

Now he had time to kill. The pie was done ahead of schedule, because Sam had helped him make it and he'd cheated by using canned pumpkin. Sam had taken Ife to wash up and get dressed a while ago and suddenly Jack didn't know what to do. How had he kept himself busy before they'd come along? They'd been at his house for almost a week and already his life felt different. He pushed the thought away, not wanting to examine it too closely.

After a quick glance around the kitchen, he decided he could clean up a bit. Unlike from what he remembered when Charlie was a baby, most of the stuff lying around his kitchen and house in general wasn't Ife's. It was his. Sam and Ife didn't have that many things and he'd been the one to make a mess while preparing the pie. Sighing, he went to work and cleaned the counters, put away dirty dishes and picked up some of the items lying around the kitchen.

Rubbing his chin, Jack surveyed the results and was dismayed to realize it hadn't even taken twenty minutes. A shower and a shave would take up some more time. He spotted the black garment bag Fraiser had handed him before leaving the base earlier that day and picked it up. It was a simple dress the Doc had gotten from somewhere after learning Sam and Ife would come to her dinner, knowing Sam hadn't gone out to shop for herself yet – the clothes she'd ordered from the catalog wouldn't arrive until next week at the earliest and also didn't include evening wear. Sam was going to need it for tonight and the clothes he wanted to wear were still in his dresser…

Jack knocked on the bedroom door, ears pricked up for any sounds. "Sam? I've got your dress here and I forgot to get my clothes for tonight."

"Come in."

After opening the door, he was greeted by the sight of Sam lying across his bed, her button-up shirt undone to breastfeed Ife. The little girl was stretched out in front of her with one small hand resting on Sam's swollen breast, sucking greedily.

"Oh, um…" He wasn't sure whether to apologize or not, since she'd invited him in.

"Could you put the dress on the foot of the bed?"

Jack had a hard time tearing his gaze from her pale skin and couldn't help but notice the way his unbuttoned shirt barely covered her other breast. He caught a glimpse of her nipple, darker and larger than he remembered, yet still alluring. Giving himself a mental shake, he looked away and placed the garment bag on the bed as requested.

"Thank you."

"You're welcome."

She smiled at him and glanced down at her daughter. "Ife was hungry and getting in a mood about it, so I figured it would be better to feed her now. She doesn't eat much in general yet anyway, so I doubt it would be different during the dinner."

He couldn't deny she made a good point; these days he cooked twice the amount he'd eat for dinner and still had enough leftovers for lunch the next day for both Sam and Ife. "She'll probably have enough after one bite of everything."

"Yeah, this way she'll be relaxed and not cranky during Doctor Fraiser's dinner and it won't get uncomfortable for me like skipping a feed normally does," Sam said, indicating her chest.

"Right." His eyes briefly darted to the creamy skin of her full breasts, before he reminded himself that she was simply feeding her daughter. It wasn't the first time he saw a woman breastfeed – he'd had a family of his own after all – and it apparently didn't matter to Sam that he witnessed it.

They'd been intimate once a long time ago but their situation was different now. They were different people now, or at least Sam was. Her nonchalance about his presence while breastfeeding only served to emphasize it; she'd been living off-world for a long time, feeding her daughter whenever possible regardless of who was around.

Jack walked over to his dresser and pulled out the dark blue jeans and black sweater he'd planned on wearing to Fraiser's. Holding the clothes, he turned back to Sam. "Look, I don't want you to think that you can't, um, feed Ife in front of me. You shouldn't have to retreat to the bedroom to do it. I don't mind."

"That's very sweet of you, Jack," she said, an amused smile on her lips. "But I wasn't hiding. I don't mind you being around either, it's just that these feeding times usually coincide with when we're in the bedroom or when you're on duty."

"Oh," he said. "Okay. Good."

"Good."

"Well, I'm just gonna go shower and shave in the guest bathroom."

Sam nodded, the smile still tugging on her lips.

* * *

**Fraiser Residence**   
**Colorado Springs, CO**

Sam smiled politely as she passed on the sweet potatoes to Teal'c, who was seated across the table from her. She was pretty sure that was his third helping, but then he wasn't the first Jaffa she'd met who ate _a lot_ of food. Bra'tac hadn't ever complained about rationing their food or giving her more during her pregnancy, but she'd spent enough time among Jaffa – rebels or otherwise – to know they all had a more than healthy appetite. It seemed like Doctor Fraiser knew this as well, considering the amount of food the woman had prepared.

"Thank you, Sam," Teal'c said with a regal nod. It sounded odd when he said her name and considering the looks he got from the others, they agreed.

"You're welcome." She wondered if he'd learned the expression of gratitude on Earth or already knew it before he joined the SGC. None of the other Jaffa she'd met seemed familiar with it, except for Moac, Bra'tac and Shen'ems who'd learned it from her.

There were other things she wondered about when it came to Teal'c and she hoped she'd get a chance to get to know him.

Jack gently nudged her and leaned in slightly, "More turkey?"

"Just a small slice," she said, eyeing the leftover food. Doctor Fraiser – or Janet, as she'd insisted Sam call her – had already told her not to worry about how much she ate, being well aware of her advised portion size.

"For Ife," he said as he added a second, smaller slice.

Her daughter was amusing herself with a small toy a few feet away, still strapped in the car seat. Ife wasn't hungry yet because she'd been fed a couple of hours ago and she was too young to patiently sit at the table while everyone else enjoyed an elaborate Thanksgiving meal. Janet had apologized for not arranging a high chair for Sam, but she had waved it off. Ife was fine in the car seat for now.

Nyan, the alien who'd come back to Earth with SG-1 about a week ago, had been discussing the origin and meaning of Thanksgiving with Daniel who was seated next to Teal'c. Daniel had just finished telling him how they – SG-1 – usually celebrated it as Nyan finished his wine. "What about your wife, Daniel?"

"Sha're?" Daniel's fork paused midair and a sad look passed over his face. "Um, she's on Abydos. I visited over the weekend but had to come back and she couldn't make it to Earth this week to spend the holiday together…"

"It's probably best for her to stay on Abydos with her family for now," Doctor Fraiser said. "It's easier for you to travel to and stay on Abydos than it would be for her to come to Earth, Daniel."

"Would she have to undergo quarantine like me? And I believe you and your daughter were temporarily isolated too, right Captain?"

Jack glared at Nyan and answered before Sam had time to swallow her bite of food. "Sha're would be quarantined for her first visit to Earth, just like anyone else who is from another planet or has been away from Earth for a long time."

Doctor Fraiser nodded in agreement. "The Colonel is correct; it's standard protocol. It might seem strange to those unfamiliar with our level of healthcare but we don't want to risk any alien strains being let loose on the population. However, someone who regularly travels to and from Earth is less of a risk because their immune system has adapted and they undergo frequent medical exams, including blood testing."

"Did it bother you, Sam?"

"The quarantine?" She asked, frowning at Daniel. "Of course."

Nyan looked around Daniel to Teal'c. "You and I were each quarantained in a room for a few days but I found it rather restrictive. I can imagine it is worse with a small child."

"Indeed."

Daniel had a pensive look on his face when he turned to where Doctor Fraiser was seated at the head of the table. "Would Sha're's quarantine last as long as Sam's?"

"That would depend on her bloodwork, but a week would be the minimum, yes."

"But I could visit her everyday, right?" He turned back to Sam, "Didn't you have visitors inside the bubble?"

Sam shifted in her seat, uncomfortable with everyone's eyes on her. "Um, yes. Catherine got permission to enter the bubble, the others were medical staff."

Janet sighed, looking like she'd much rather focus on the holiday than work. "Doctor Langford received permission to enter the quarantined area because of her experience and understanding about the process. If you are contemplating bringing Sha're to Earth, you would have to clear it with General Hammond first, Daniel. If he okays it and Sha're agrees, then perhaps I could give you the necessary information and instructions to visit your wife in quarantine."

"Do you believe Sha're of Abydos would welcome a stay on Earth, Daniel Jackson?"

"Yeah, are you sure she even wants to come?"

It wasn't the most correct or supporting thing to do, but Sam found herself hoping that Sha're didn't want to come to Earth. The last thing Sam needed or wanted was a confrontation with another former host who had been there during the worst time in her life. She appreciated the look of concern Jack cast her way when he asked about Sha're.

To her surprise, Daniel looked uncertain. "I don't know... Sha're is still searching for a way to deal with what happened and she feels more comfortable on Abydos. The fact that we haven't found her son yet isn't helping either; she's worried about his wellbeing."

"Maybe Sam can help." Cassandra leaned forward, trying to look past Jack to Sam. "You were taken by the Goa'uld too but you're back now and seem fine."

"Cassie!"

Cassandra looked appropriately chastised by Jack and her mother but Daniel didn't seem to take note. "How did you cope with everything, Sam?"

Sam was becoming more and more uncomfortable with the way the dinner conversation was heading, which was precisely why she'd been hesitant to commit in the first place. Did they know the boy was _harsesis_ and was that why they wanted to find him? Did they suspect the same of Ife? "I don't know, Daniel. I wasn't a host for as long as she was and didn't go through all the same things."

"But-"

"Can it, Daniel," Jack said. "And pass me the sweet potatoes."

She gave Jack a small smile of gratitude before looking down at her plate, moving the food around with her fork. Any appetite she'd had was gone now. She'd been tempted to snap at Daniel but held back. Jack had warned her that his friends might be curious and ask questions, so she tried to be patient and exercise self-restraint.

"So, Nyan," Janet said, breaking the uncomfortable silence, "what is Bedrosia like?"

"We know about Bedrosia. What about the planets Sam was on?" Daniel asked, shooting Jack a look.

Sam gritted her teeth and looked up from her plate. "There's not much to tell, really."

Nyan immediately jumped in, too. "I heard you've been to more planets than SG-1."

"Yeah," Daniel said, undeterred. "You must have all kinds of stories to tell."

"Like I said, not really."

"But we haven't even been to most of those!"

Jack dropped his cutlery on his plate and leaned forward with narrowed eyes. "Look-"

The archaeologist, however, cut him off defiantly, "I can ask Sam about the planets she's visited, Jack!"

"Daniel-"

"It's okay," Sam said, her hand hovering over Jack's arm, barely refraining from touching him. It would do no good to cause a rift between the two friends just because she felt uncomfortable about the subject and Jack thought he had to protect her. Besides, she recalled some of the conversations she and 'Doctor Jackson' had had before she went off-world and how curious he'd been about life on other planets. "There simply isn't a lot I can tell you. It's true that I've been to a lot of different places, but most of the time we were either just passing through or staying somewhere isolated."

"Did you keep track of all the addresses?" Nyan asked.

Daniel made a vague gesture with his fork, a pensive look on his face, "I'll bet a lot of those addresses are on the list Moac made of planets where Bra'tac might go to."

She shrugged and took a bite of the turkey Jack had given her. "I wrote some down, but not all."

"How many different cultures did you encounter?"

"I really couldn't say, Nyan."

Daniel frowned, "But you spent a lot of time living among different Jaffa, right?"

"No more than Teal'c," she said, nodding towards the Jaffa seated across from her.

"I know you two geek out over different alien cultures and mythology," Jack said, eyeing both Nyan and Daniel. "But Sam and Bra'tac had more important things on their minds than mingling with the natives. Like, staying alive."

Grimacing, Sam ducked her head to avoid everyone's curious gazes. He wasn't wrong but she really didn't need any reminding. Maybe it would put a stop to all the questions, though.

"Have you ever been to Hanka, Sam?"

"Um, no."

Jack's hard look disappeared as he turned to Cassandra, squeezing the young teen's shoulder. "The SGC still has the Douglas McLean Memorial Observatory on Hanka. All visitors would have been reported."

The girl nodded, a sad look on her face. "Right. I forgot. Hey, maybe we can all go there someday. I mean, if it's under the SGC's control then it should be safe, right?"

"I don't know, honey," Janet said. "Maybe when you're a little bit older. A trip through the stargate isn't harmless fun and not everyone can just go off-world."

"But I'm _from_ Hanka, so why couldn't I go back someday?"

Jack wrapped an arm around Cassandra's shoulders, "You can, munchkin. Just not yet."

She beamed at him. "Thanks! You'll come with us, right? To keep us safe?"

"Well," he said, quirking a brow at Janet, "I'm not sure your mom needs me to protect her. She has saved our asses plenty of times. But sure, I wouldn't mind a trip back."

Cassandra suddenly started giggling. "I just realized that the aliens outnumber the Earthlings at this table!"

"Um," Daniel said, frowning. "There's your mom, Jack, m-"

"Me, Nyan, Teal'c, Ife and Sam. Well, I guess Sam counts for half," Cassandra mused aloud, "and even if Sam is counted as a regular Earthling it's a tie."

Sam blanched, feeling like one of her fears had come true. Was that what they all thought of her and Ife? That they were aliens?

"Cassandra Fraiser," Janet started in a patented angry-mom voice, "what did we talk about this morning? You can't just…"

In the background, Sam could hear the Doctor talking sternly to her adopted daughter but she tried to tune them out. Ife being born on a different planet technically made her an alien to Earth and Sam figured her keeping the truth about Ife's father to herself hadn't helped, but to hear someone label her daughter as an alien… and herself? Suddenly, she'd become an alien, or half of one?

Jack gently laid his hand, warm and rough, on her forearm and leaned in slightly. "Hey, you okay? Cassie didn't mean to-"

"It's fine." She rushed the words out and shrugged off his comforting hand. Why had she agreed to come along, again? She slipped from her seat and got Ife from her car seat, lifting her daughter into her arms. Maybe it was better if they just went home?

"Sam?" Cassandra was suddenly standing next to her, eyes wide. "I'm sorry for what I said. I didn't mean to upset you… I think it's kinda cool that Teal'c and I aren't the only aliens on Earth anymore, you know? But I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that."

Everyone was watching them and Sam could tell Cassie felt genuine remorse for hurting her feelings, so she faked a smile. "It's okay, Cassandra. I'm not mad. I guess we are pretty unique, huh?"

The teen smiled proudly, gesturing between the three of them. "We're especially awesome, since we all have naquadah in our blood."

"Cassie-"

"She's right, Jack," Sam said, interrupting him. "Well, I suppose Teal'c has naquadah too…"

"But he's not human," Cassandra chimed in.

Teal'c raised a brow, "Indeed, I am not."


	9. Chapter 9

**Fraiser Residence**   
**Colorado Springs, CO**   
**November 25, 1999**

Jack was grateful that Teal'c and the Doc had managed to change the topic of conversation into something harmless after Daniel and Nyan's insistent questions of Sam's time off-world. He'd tried to get the two to shut up and had even given Daniel a swift kick under the table, but to no avail.

Sam finally seemed to have relaxed a bit, although he was pretty sure half a glass of wine had helped. She was still rather quiet, though. He'd noticed her becoming more withdrawn during the questions but even now she mostly kept to herself. She'd look up, smile a bit and make an appropriate noise every now and then, but that was it. The rest of the time she played with her food and kept Ife entertained.

He poured himself another glass of wine and looked to Sam, only for her to decline. "Sure?"

She glanced down at Ife in her lap. "Alcohol passes through the breastmilk and I don't want to get her drunk."

"Right. Sorry."

"It's okay," Sam said, shrugging.

Ife suddenly started squirming and twisting in Sam's lap, "Teak!"

Jack saw a rare smile appearing on Teal'c's face as the little girl reached out her arms in his direction. As far as he was aware, the Jaffa and Ife hadn't really spent any time together so he was surprised, too.

"Do you mind?" Sam asked.

"I do not, Captain Carter." Teal'c pushed his chair away from the table to make room.

She shot the Jaffa a small smile and got up, somehow managing to keep hold of her wriggling daughter and deposited the girl in Teal'c's arms. Sam looked at the other occupants of the table and gestured to the patio, "If you could all excuse me for a moment…"

The Doc got up too, "Of course. We need to clear the table for dessert anyway."

"Need a hand?"

"No, that's fine. Daniel and Nyan can help me," Fraiser said.

Jack was pretty sure that was their punishment for making Sam uncomfortable and he was fine with that. Sam had already slipped from the room and the two men got up to help the Doc, leaving just Cassie, him and Teal'c with Ife at the table. He had to admit Teal'c was pretty good with the little girl, talking to her in a soft voice and making her giggle. "I think she likes you, T."

Teal'c smiled proudly when Ife plopped down in his lap and rested her head against his chest. "Indeed," he said. "It appears Ife Carter is most comfortable."

"Maybe it's because of the naquadah," Cassie said. "I can sense it in them and Sam, too."

"Good point." Jack felt himself relax at the suggestion because, even though he knew it was ridiculous, he felt a little jilted by Ife's easy acceptance of Teal'c. Sam had only really introduced Ife to everyone – aside from Jack and Fraiser – when they arrived at the house and now Ife was already asking for Teal'c by name. It had taken Jack longer than that to gain her affection and he couldn't recall her ever asking for him…

Daniel came back to the dining room to collect the remaining plates. "Janet is asking if everyone is ready for dessert or if we should wait a bit longer."

"I'm stuffed," Cassie moaned, rubbing her stomach. "Can we wait? It's not a race."

Jack shrugged. "I can wait. Sam probably can too, although I don't know if she even wants dessert."

"More drinks then?" Daniel asked, before dashing off for the kitchen.

A few minutes later everyone except for Sam was back at the table, enjoying their drinks and making small talk.

Ife was the one breaking the silence with loud giggles when Teal'c tickled her tummy.

"You know," Nyan said with a smile, "she looks just like her mother."

"Yeah, spitting image of Sam," Daniel said.

Jack felt the same way. He'd noticed the eyes first, of course. But Ife had the same beaming smile as her mother, although Sam didn't show it often. The nose and dimples was all Sam, too. Once again he thought how strange it was. Skaara's coloring was much darker and aside from brown hair, Ife was much lighter. Her skin was a little darker than Sam's but nowhere near Skaara's Abydonian skin. Although he supposed it was possible that Skaara's skin had been lighter as a kid too and that growing up in the desert had made him tan even more.

"I think we can all agree that's a good thing," the Doc said quietly.

"Indeed."

Ife had quieted down and was playing with a napkin, a small smile tugging at her lips. That wasn't Sam but the almost smile was very familiar to Jack. He just couldn't place it. The only images of Skaara that popped into his head were of him smiling widely or the smug smirk of Klorel. Neither of which resembled Ife's little cheeky smile…

"So, Nyan," Fraiser said, clearly trying to change the topic of conversation again, "how are you adjusting to Earth?"

"Yes, do you like it? I remember when I first got here it was so different from Hanka…"

Jack checked the clock on the wall and realized it had been quite a while since Sam stepped outside to get some fresh air. He pushed his chair backwards and got up, stretching his legs. "I think I'll go check on Sam," he said to Teal'c.

The Jaffa raised a brow when Ife started getting fussy, "Wait, O'Neill. Perhaps it would be best if I go, while you take care of Ife Carter."

"Um, okay," he said, after a moment's hesitation. He wanted to check on Sam but he didn't want to abandon Ife either. "She's probably just tired."

"Perhaps."

Jack took Ife from him and started rubbing circles on her back, which usually calmed her down before bed. "It's been a long day, huh munchkin?" Teal'c went out to the patio and the others were talking with Nyan, so Jack went into the kitchen. Stretching his legs was nice but mostly he did it because he knew the movement was soothing to Ife. Probably because Sam had done a lot of walking with Ife in her arms before they came to Earth.

He walked in circles around the kitchen, speaking nonsense to Ife in low tones. After a few minutes she snuggled closer to him, her face pressing against his neck eliciting a smile from him. It didn't take long after that for Ife's breathing to even out. Jack continued walking and talking, not wanting her to wake up the moment he stopped.

Maybe ten minutes later, he heard the telltale sound of clicking heels.

"You like her."

He turned around at the accusation but the denial died on his tongue at the look on the Doc's face. If he'd learned anything about Fraiser over the years it was to never underestimate or bullshit her, so instead he just raised an eyebrow.

"Captain Carter," she said, before correcting herself, "Sam."

"Doc?"

The petite woman crossed her arms, mildly exasperated. "I see the way you look at her - and Ife. Before, when they were in quarantine, I didn't say anything because Sam seemed to enjoy your visits and quite frankly, it was none of my business. But now..."

Jack narrowed his eyes, "Now what?"

"Now I've seen you with her and the baby without a plastic bubble separating you."

"So?"

Fraiser tipped her chin up to look him in the eye. "You've been hovering around Sam all evening, making sure she's comfortable and sending Daniel death glares for asking too many questions."

Jack was only mildly embarrassed at the observation and mostly because he got caught - he used to be better at hiding his thoughts and feelings - not because he'd been protecting Sam. He stilled his hand movements on Ife's back and sighed. "Daniel should mind his own business. You'd think someone with his background would know better when it comes to dealing with sensitive matters. Speaking of which-"

"Look," the Doctor interrupted, concern on her face, "It's obvious you care about Sam and Ife. That's good, they need all the support they can get. It is, however, important to remember that physically it may appear Sam returned unscathed, but she went through something very traumatic."

"I know, Doc. I'm not a complete idiot."

"Oh, I'm well aware that your dumb act is precisely that; an act, and that underneath all the sarcasm is actually a very intelligent and caring man."

He made a face, feeling uncomfortable with the assessment. "So, what exactly is the problem?"

Fraiser sighed, "You offering Sam a place to stay and taking care of any finances is great and rather admirable, but I think it's important to keep in mind that Sam is still emotionally vulnerable despite outwards appearances. A romantic entanglement is probably the last thing she needs, especially considering she has a young child."

"A romantic entanglement?"

"She and Ife need stability and a safe place to deal with what happened before either of them can really start living a normal life on Earth."

Jack wondered what the hell she thought he was up to with Sam. "That's exactly why they're staying at my place and not some hotel, Doc. Geez, you think I'd force myself on her or something? I'm just trying to give them what they need and since we're being so honest right now, whatever is or isn't between Sam and me still isn't any of your business."

Fraiser grabbed his arm when he brushed past her. "I just don't want anyone to get hurt here, Jack."

"Trust me," he said, one hand still protectively on Ife's back. "Neither do I, Doc."

* * *

Sam shivered and rubbed her bare arms. The snow had disappeared but it was still freezing and she'd been out there for a while now… She was getting cold. The dress Janet had gotten for her fit okay, it wasn't the best or most beautiful dress she'd even worn but it was fine. Its sleeves only reached halfway down her upper arms and the fabric wasn't exactly winter proof.

However, going back inside didn't appeal to her either. Not after all the questions about her time off-world. She'd already given Daniel a bunch of her journals – the ones with information about the different planets and cultures – and that was as much as she was willing to share.

She tensed when she sensed naquadah which didn't belong to her daughter but a second later she relaxed, recognizing it as a Jaffa's naquadah – and on Earth, that could only mean Teal'c. They'd officially met when he and Jack met with her and Bra'tac to introduce them to the young Rebel Jaffa warriors they'd come across and aside from Utcha, she hadn't seen him since. Yet, it felt like she knew him already. She trusted him enough to leave Ife with him while she went outside, although that was probably also in part because Jack stayed indoors.

"Will you grant me permission to join you, Captain Carter?"

"Of course, Teal'c," she said, glancing over her shoulder. "And it's just Sam, please."

The Jaffa came up next to her, an eyebrow raised high. "Very well… Sam."

"Did they send you to come and get me?"

"They did not."

It was her turn to lift an eyebrow. "Really?"

He clasped his hands behind his back and turned to look out over the yard. "Perhaps O'Neill wished to ensure you were doing well."

"Ah," she said, nodding to herself. That sounded like Jack. "But you came instead."

"I felt it prudent to leave your daughter in O'Neill's capable care."

"He's good with her."

Teal'c turned to her, a strange look on his face that disappeared before she could identify it. "Indeed."

They both remained quiet, absorbing the night's silence, and she could feel her frazzled nerves ease as they stood there. It shouldn't have surprised her to learn his presence had a similar effect on her as Bra'tac's used to. Both men were strong and silent Jaffa warriors, after all. Bra'tac had been Teal'c's mentor and he'd told her a lot about his former apprentice.

"It was not Daniel Jackson's intention to make matters difficult for you tonight."

"I know."

His brown eyes found hers, understanding visible in the look he gave her. "The time you spent away from your home irrevocably changed you."

She couldn't deny the truth in his statement. "I guess you know what it's like."

"The events you lived through prevent you from going back to the person you were before."

"Coming back home isn't as easy as I thought it would be," she confessed.

Teal'c gently placed his hand on her shoulder and said in a grave tone, "It never is."

Sam wondered if he was talking in general or specifically about her or him. He'd been First Prime to Apophis for close to a decade, he had to know what life as host to Klorel's mate entailed for her. But Bra'tac had also confided in her about Teal'c's own life, she'd met both his wife Drey'auc and former love Shan'auc, and knew the sacrifices he'd made to join the SGC.

"Come," he said, "let us join our friends for the final course of Doctor Fraiser's Thanksgiving's dinner."

* * *

They said their goodbyes earlier than Jack's friends would have liked but much later than Sam would have preferred. But she'd agreed to come along and if she wanted everyone, including Jack, to believe she was doing fine then she had to play along. The moment the front door closed behind them she felt the tension fall away and took a deep breath of cold evening air.

Without a word, Jack took the car seat from her and handed her the box of leftovers Doctor Fraiser had given him. He gave her a concerned look, "Everything okay?"

"Yeah," Sam said, snuggling deeper into her borrowed coat. "Let's go home."

His face lit up when he smiled and placed his hand in the small of her back. "Sounds good to me."

She let him guide her to the truck but took over securing the car seat while he turned on the engine and heating in the cab. Ife was fast asleep and Sam was envious of her daughter's ability to just tune everything out and take a nap.

"Ife still asleep?" Jack asked as she buckled up in the passenger seat.

"It takes a lot more than a change in location to wake her once she's out."

He cast a look at the backseat before pulling out of the driveway. They drove in silence but Jack shot her a look every now and then. When he stopped for a red light, he turned to her. "I know tonight didn't go as planned, but I'm glad you came, Sam."

She gave him a small smile and nodded. "I think it went fine… I'm just really tired."

"Nothing wrong with an early night."

"I think Ife and I'll just go straight to bed when we get home," she said.

Jack nodded in understand before turning his attention back to the road. Twenty minutes later, he parked the truck at his house and carried Ife inside.

Sam placed the leftover food in the fridge before making her way to the bedroom, where he'd changed Ife into pajamas. "Thank you."

"G'night," Jack said, before leaving the room.

After double-checking on Ife, Sam went into the ensuite bathroom and took off her dress. The thing was kind of shapeless but it'd covered her up and didn't show too much leg or any décolletage, for which she was grateful.

She caught sight of her body in the floor-length mirror off to the left as she finished brushing her teeth and turned to get a good look. Teal'c had been right in that she was not the same person as the Sam Carter who'd left Earth. Not just mentally but physically, too. Her ribs were protruding more than before, or even back when she'd been a gangly teenager. Doctor Fraiser's assessment of little body fat seemed correct.

Sam titled her head and took in her scarily thin frame. Her hip bones were razor sharp and her collar bones and shoulders were far more visible than ever. There was no trace of her pregnancy on her belly, aside from a few stretch marks. Her abdomen was flat but toned. The muscles in her arms and legs were toned too, which wasn't surprising considering the life she'd lived off-world. Her breasts were the only parts of her that were fuller than before she left but she figured that would change soon enough, considering she was trying to wean Ife off.

Hesitantly, she reached up and cupped her breasts. They were more than a handful now and less firm than she remembered, but they were full and heavy.

The memory of Jack staring at her while breastfeeding Ife earlier that day flashed through her mind and she bit her lip. She'd meant it when she told him she hadn't avoided doing so in front of him, because she'd fed her daughter in front of others before. But she couldn't deny she'd felt something when he'd looked at her – and it wasn't disgust.

It had been a long time since she'd _wanted_ a man to look at her and it surprised her, even though she knew she found him attractive. She'd felt his attention low in her belly and it felt… nice. Not at all awkward or uncomfortable. The last time anyone had looked at her with unbridled lust it'd been Klorel and that made her sick to her stomach.

But just thinking of Jack that way made her feel an unexpected yet pleasant buzz of arousal.

She wasn't sure what that meant yet but for now, it was a good feeling. With a final smile at her reflection, she turned around and went back into the bedroom. There, she got one of Jack's button-up shirts from the dresser and slipped it over her head. The fabric smelled like him and that put another smile on her face.

Maybe tonight hadn't been all bad, she thought as she crawled into bed.


	10. Chapter 10

**O'Neill Residence**   
**Colorado Springs, CO**   
**November 28, 1999**

Jack chuckled as he watched a giggling Ife throw snow in the air. The little girl had her face tilted up at the darkening sky and giggled as the snowflakes hit her cheeks. Earlier, he'd taught her how to make snow angels and she'd enjoyed it, even though he was pretty sure she didn't understand the end result. She just liked playing in the snow.

"Okay, Ife," he said, after making sure his snowman's head was properly attached to its body. "I'm gonna need your help to give this guy a face."

"Face?" She asked, turning to look at him with a pensive little frown on her face.

Jack beckoned her over and hunkered down to be at her level. "C'mere, munchkin."

Ife walked over and let him pick her up, wrapping her little arms around his neck. When he brought her eyelevel with the snowman's head, she reached out and poked the ball of snow. "Cold."

"Here," he handed her a carrot from his pocket and got the couple of potatoes he'd slipped in there earlier too. "I'll go first. See? These are his eyes."

"Tatoes," she said, frowning.

Jack finished pushing the potatoes into the snow to give the snowman a smile. "These are the eyes and that's his mouth. See? Now all it needs is a nose."

She looked down at the carrot he was pointing at. "Nose?"

"Yeah," he said, grabbing her little hand holding the carrot. "We'll just stick it in there like this. See, that's a nose! Good job!"

Ife didn't look convinced. She sighed and rested her head against his shoulder. "Where's Momma?"

Jack figured she'd had enough excitement for a day and turned back to the deck. They'd had an early meal because of his mission briefing at oh six hundred the day after and Sam had begged off when he proposed going into the yard to play in the snow. "Your mommy is inside, remember?"

"Want Momma."

"Okay, okay, let's go back inside." He lowered her to the ground as she'd started squirming and watched her dash off to the deck. The deck lights gave enough illumination that he wasn't worried she'd trip or anything, but he kept an eye on her regardless. A week ago she'd barely been walking around and now she was running all over the place…

He followed more sedately and caught up with Ife at the sliding doors which she couldn't open, so he did it for her. Before she could dash off again, he grabbed her by the puffy coat the Fraisers had dropped off two days ago. The Doc had come over under the pretext of dropping off more leftovers but he figured she'd wanted to check on Sam after the dinner conversation on Thanksgiving. Cassie had apologized again and also gave them the cute winter outfit Ife was all bundled up in at the moment.

"Not so fast, munchkin," Jack said. "Don't wanna get snow all over the living room, now do we?"

Ife sighed almost theatrically and rocked on the balls of her feet while he removed her hat, scarf and undid the puffy coat. The clothes Sam had ordered for herself and her daughter were supposed to arrive next week and the Fraisers hadn't included boots or shoes in their outfit, so Ife was wearing some sort of leather socks. Apparently, Bra'tac had bought them on some off-world market and Jack had to admit they were pretty neat. Ife's feet were warm and dry when he removed them, too.

He let Ife go and kicked off his own boots before taking off his gloves, scarf and coat. When he finished hanging their wet things on the radiator, he turned back around and saw Ife standing in front of the sofa. Sam was lying on it, his afghan covering her up to her waist and dead to the world. "I guess Mommy is tired and took a nap," he whispered.

"Nap," Ife said, nodding. "Me too."

"You want to put on your PJs first?"

She shook her head and moved as if to climb onto the sofa, "Momma."

Jack scooped the girl up in his arms before she got a chance to disturb Sam. "We don't wanna wake Mommy. Let's get you into PJs first."

In the bedroom he realized her pants were wet from the snow and put them on a radiator while Ife went to the bathroom. He'd used some old wood he'd had lying around to make small steps for the toilet, so that Ife wouldn't need anyone to lift her up to use it. The pajamas were laid out on the bed when Ife came back, sans clothes.

She wasn't used to Earth clothing yet and he'd learned early on that she preferred taking it all off – and leaving it somewhere on the floor, most likely the bathroom in this case – and walking around as naked as the day she was born. He helped her into the soft PJs and carried her into the kitchen where he made some hot cocoa. By the time he'd poured two and a half cups, Ife was nodding off against his shoulder.

Ife sleepily reached for him when he placed her in the armchair in the living room. " _Net't_ ," she mumbled.

It took Jack a moment to realize what she was asking for but then he recalled that was what she called the fur blanket they'd brought back with them from off-world. It was on the chair in the bedroom, so he went back and retrieved it.

"Dack," Ife said when he covered her with it.

"'Dack'?" He questioned, unsure what she meant.

She reached for him and tugged on his hand when he grabbed one of hers. "Dack. Nap."

He swallowed hard when he realized she meant _Jack_ and that she wanted to nap with him. "Sure," he said, after clearing his throat. Lifting her up, blanket and all, he got into the armchair and let her settle in his lap. "Sleep tight, munchkin," he mumbled, pressing a kiss to her crown.

It didn't take long for Ife's breathing to even out and then he was the only one awake in his house. Jack glanced to Sam's sleeping form and caught a glimpse of her toned abdomen where her sweater had ridden up. He hoped she wasn't cold. But then the central heating was on _and_ she'd started a fire in the fireplace, so he doubted she was.

He let his gaze move around the rest of the room and took in all the small changes compared to before Sam and Ife had come home with him. There were a few baby items on the table and a playpen in the corner of the room, but that was it. If not for Ife, Sam's presence wouldn't even have been noticeable in his house. Well, aside from the fact that she wore his clothes and slept in his bed…

Jack looked up when he heard a change in Sam's breathing and noticed she was awake, blinking slowly. Her whole frame was tense though, unlike the relaxed pose she'd been sleeping in. "Hey," he said softly.

Sam looked around warily before slowly getting into a sitting position. "Hey."

"Nightmare?"

"Hm?"

Jack watched as she ran a hand through her hair and knew from the way she was avoiding his gaze that she'd heard him. "You looked a little tense there, waking up."

She pulled up her knees and tucked the afghan under her feet. "I'm fine."

"I'm not saying you're not fine," he said.

"You know, your sofa is pretty comfortable. I didn't mean to fall asleep."

He shrugged and indicated the sleeping child in his lap. "Nothing wrong with taking a nap."

Sam looked at Ife with soft eyes and a sleepy smile. "She wore herself out?"

"We played outside in the snow and when we got back in, she decided she wanted to take a nap just like her mom."

"Thanks," she said, a strange look on her face. "For taking her outside to play, I mean. Hell, for taking the time to do anything at all with her. I know you didn't sign up for any of this."

Jack felt he sort of did, by offering them his house to stay in, and he didn't regret it. Just being with them, playing and taking care of Ife... he liked it. The Doc was right that the Carter girls - especially Sam - still had a long way to go, but he wanted to be there with them every step of the way. "I don't mind."

Sam snorted and reached for one of the full cups of hot cocoa. Well, it probably wasn't hot anymore, he thought. "There's probably a dozen things you'd rather be doing than babysitting or functioning as Ife's chair."

"I wouldn't be sitting here if that was the case," he said, stroking Ife's hair.

"Jack…"

Hell, he couldn't even remember the things he used to do in the weekends. It wasn't like having a beer and watching _The Simpsons_ , a game or a movie trumped the time he spent with Sam and Ife. Besides, he could always introduce them to his favorite TV show. "I wouldn't have offered you a place to stay if I didn't mean it, Sam."

She shifted on the sofa and rubbed a hand over the back of her neck, grimacing. "Still, you've already given up your bed for us, so there's no need to let her sleep on you."

"I don't mind," he repeated. "She can nap on me whenever she likes. Guess she needed it. Both of you."

"I don't know why, it's not like I've been running marathons or traveling from planet to planet," Sam said, frowning.

Jack had a pretty good idea, though. "You've been through a lot, Sam. Emotionally and physically. Your body finally has a chance to catch up."

She didn't look convinced. "Maybe."

"Going to the Doc's Thanksgiving dinner probably took more out of you than expected, too."

"I guess."

He waited until she was looking at him again before he spoke, "There's also nothing wrong with having nightmares. I'd be more surprised if you didn't have them, to be honest. Look, Sam, we don't have to talk about them if you don't want to, but I want you to know that I'm here for you if you do."

She nodded and a small smile appeared on her face. "That's very sweet of you."

"And you know, if you don't feel comfortable talking about it with me, you could always talk to someone else…"

"Like Doctor MacKenzie?"

The hostility in her tone surprised him, but he didn't comment on it. "Yeah. He's not my favorite person, but he knows what he's doing. A few sessions with him really helped Daniel."

"I told you, therapy is not for me."

He raised his hands in supplication, "Okay, that's fine. I just figured I'd mention it."

Her shoulders sagged and she sighed. "I'm sorry, I know you mean well."

"It's okay, Sam," he said. "Why don't you go get a nice hot shower to clear your head while I put the little one to bed?"

"A shower sounds good," she said, a genuine smile on her face.

Jack had quickly figured out that showers were something she'd missed off-world – and if that meant all the hot water was gone by the time he took a shower, then so be it.

* * *

**Downtown**   
**Colorado Springs, CO**   
**December 3, 1999**

They'd left home about half an hour ago to go grocery shopping and Sam couldn't quite believe how little had changed since her first mission. Everything looked pretty much the same from her car window. There were a few car models – she liked cars – she'd never seen before, but that was about it. People had continued to live their lives while she'd lived hers on the other side of the galaxy.

She sighed and looked over her shoulder to check on Ife. Her little girl seemed to be adjusting just fine to life on Earth, except for her dislike of confining clothes. She'd gotten used to the glass windows and doors at the house, was using forks or spoons with meals, enjoyed showers and had become a bit more talkative. But today was the first time they went out into the world, not counting the Thanksgiving dinner because Ife had slept through most of the trip and knew most of the people already.

Getting groceries was something those people outside did all the time, but Sam hadn't set foot in a shop or supermarket in almost two and a half years. The only thing coming close was an off-world market and even then Ife had almost always been hidden under her robes. Sam certainly hadn't let go of her for fear of what could happen if anyone recognized her or grabbed Ife because of her light coloring.

"She'll be fine," Jack said, as if reading her mind.

"She's never been in crowds before, not like this."

He briefly looked her way before focusing on the road, "Don't worry so much, Sam. It's not rush hour."

She knew he was right and she appreciated that he was willing to take them grocery shopping on his morning off, but she couldn't help worry. "It's just… you saw what she was like at the SGC with all those strange people around. It was different off-world. The few times there were a lot of Jaffa or humans around, she had time to acclimate and had the freedom to move around when she was uncomfortable."

"Well, we're not sending her in there on her own or anything. She's a little too young for that."

"Just a little?" Sam noticed the little smile tugging at his lips and smiled herself, appreciating his attempt at levity.

He flashed her a wide grin, "A few years at most. Gotta start 'em young."

She chuckled and felt herself relax a bit. Maybe he was right and everything would go off without a hitch. Ife made a noise as if agreeing but Sam was dismayed to see she'd pulled off her woolly hat again. It was a little below freezing outside and Sam didn't want Ife to get cold.

Then again, she could hardly blame her daughter for not being used to Earth clothing when she'd ditched her newest sweater – made of organic cotton – for one of Jack's more comfortable and less itchy old hockey jerseys and she'd gone back to the SGC sports bra Doctor Fraiser had given her because the new nursing bra didn't fit well. Even her jeans felt strange to her. The leather pants she'd made herself off-world had been far more comfortable.

Jack pulled into a parking lot and parked the truck, turning off the engine. "Ready?"

"Sure," she said, although she could feel nerves creeping over her again.

"Okay." He moved to open the door before turning back to her, "Almost forgot: could you hand me my cell phone? Hammond insists on taking the damn thing with me everywhere."

Sam was still amazed at the changes some of the technology on Earth had undergone in the time she'd been off-world. During her time at the Pentagon she hadn't had a cell phone yet, but she'd seen some of her coworkers with them. They'd been large, at least twice the size of her hand, black, bulky, heavy and with internal antennas that were still an inch or two long. Jack's cell phone was smaller and more compact, lighter, colorful, had better graphics and no visible antenna.

Jack smirked when she handed him the phone. "You know, if all goes well today, maybe I should take you to one of those computer stores next time."

A few days ago, she'd expressed her surprise at the advancements and he'd been thoroughly amused by seeing her science-y side, as he'd called it. So, she simply rolled her eyes and didn't bother commenting on his offer, although she knew she wouldn't say no if he was genuine. "We'll see."

"So, how do you wanna do this?" The confusion must have shown on her face because he gestured at Ife. "Do you want to carry her in the car seat? They probably have those little child seats in the shopping cart but-"

"I'll just carry her," she said, interrupting him. Ife wasn't one to sit still, although she had no problems being quiet when being carried around. Over the past two weeks, Sam had seen Jack fidget all the time and she was pretty sure he'd passed that on to Ife.

Jack met her at the other side of the truck and watched as she unbuckled Ife. "It'll be fine, especially if you're holding her the entire time. Stop worrying."

She knew her doubts about the shopping trip were showing again and sighed. "I can't help it."

"Well, stop it," he said. "You're making me nervous."

"You? Nervous?" She asked, raising a brow.

He waited until she'd lifted Ife in her arms to close the door and turned back to them with a cheeky little grin on his face. "Oh yeah."

His demeanor was infectious and she suppressed a smile. "I didn't think the infamous leader of SG-1 got nervous."

"You have no idea."

"Clearly."

Jack locked up the truck and placed a hand on the small of Sam's back. "Let's go."

She took a deep breath of cold winter air and tried to shake off her concern. So far, Ife was simply looking around, blinking big blue eyes at her surroundings. Nothing to indicate any discomfort at all. Sam put the woolly hat back on Ife's head before the cold could get to her and pressed a kiss to her little girl's cheek.

"Momma," Ife giggled and snuggled closer.

"See, she's fine," Jack said in a low voice.

They entered the store and Ife gasped when they were greeted by loud noises and a rush of warm air from above the entrance, her little fingers grasping Sam's coat.

Sam simply rubbed her daughter's back in a soothing manner and hoped not paying too much attention to her initial reaction would help her calm down. Jack threw her a questioning look when he returned with a shopping cart, but Sam just shrugged in response.

"We're just gonna get some food, munchkin," he said, reaching out and squeezing one of Ife's feet.

"Where?" Ife craned her neck to look around, a puzzled expression on her face.

Sam chuckled as Jack tried to explain the concept of a grocery store, gesturing at the products in the aisles. Ife had already been perplexed by the fridge from which Jack kept getting food at home, so this was no surprise. The use of the stove and oven – rather than the fireplace – had confused her at first, too. All Ife knew was that fruit, vegetables and nuts came from plants and trees, while meat came from animals.

As they moved through the store, Jack kept talking and explaining various things to Ife who was listening attentively, but Sam started tuning him out. There were more people milling about than she'd expected and she found herself scanning her surroundings for any threats. Other than some precariously balanced groceries she saw nothing dangerous around her… just people doing their groceries.

They were oblivious to everything – the Goa'uld, the evil out there – and simply minding their own business. Seeing them walking around without a care in the world was disturbing.

"Sam?"

"Hm?" Jack's voice pulled her from her thoughts and she realized she'd just kept walking when he stopped. "Sorry, just thinking."

He shrugged dismissively, "Somehow, that doesn't surprise me. Which one do you want?"

She eyed the two vegetables he was showing her and had to admit to herself that she couldn't even identify one of them. "Doesn't matter."

"Well, you've got to eat it, too."

"I really don't care," she said. "You pick."

Jack shot her an indecipherable look before moving his attention to Ife. "What about you, munchkin?"

Ife held out her arms and when he walked up to them, put her hands on his to pull him closer and admire the vegetables. "That one!" She pointed at the unidentifiable one after sniffing both vegetables.

"You got it."

Sam watched as he collected some more things and placed them in the shopping cart, just like everyone around them. The normalcy of it all felt strange to her. Almost alien, ironically enough.

"Do you have any preferences, Sam?"

"You made the grocery list," she reminded him.

Jack frowned and leaned his arms on the shopping cart. "Well yeah, but this is a democracy. We don't have to get everything on the list. And if there's something you want that isn't on the list we can also get it."

"It doesn't matter to me," she repeated, shrugging. "It's just food."

"But what if I got you something you don't like?"

Sam checked the contents of the shopping cart again. "It's fine. Besides, I'm pretty sure you're more familiar with the diet Doctor Fraiser prescribed than I am."

Jack started pushing the cart again and they headed down a different aisle. "Well, if this little trip doesn't end in disaster, you'll probably become the one doing most of the groceries considering my upcoming missions," he said. "Maybe it's time to familiarize yourself with the Doc's list."

"Maybe."

"Butcher?"

She nodded in agreement and stopped to watch him load all kinds of meat in the cart. It made her wonder if he was stocking up for Christmas already. There was no way they were going to eat that much anytime soon. Then again, after experiencing scarcity of food off-world, she had found a renewed appreciation of refrigerators and freezers, and wasn't about to stop him.

The people around them all had a shopping cart that was even fuller than theirs, so perhaps it was just her. After all, before her mission, she worked a lot and ate most of her meals at the Pentagon. The few times she actually went home at a decent hour she just popped into a store on her way home to get some basics – and often takeout. She'd never even bothered with a shopping cart before.

"Okay, last on my list was the chicken," Jack said, as he placed it in the cart. He raised his brows when Ife erupted in giggles and even Sam had to smile. "Something funny, ladies?"

"I guess that'd be an in-joke," Sam said with a shrug. "I may have made a few comparisons to chicken when eating new and strange things out there."

"Ah, say no more. Daniel is convinced all MREs taste like chicken."

"Well, I haven't put it to the test yet and as a scientist I don't like drawing conclusions without sufficient evidence, but somehow that wouldn't surprise me at all."

Jack's lopsided grin reminded her of the first time they met and she had to look away when she felt a sudden rush of heat. "So…"

When she looked back she noticed the grin had been replaced with a slightly puzzled expression and she knew that was her fault. The atmosphere between them had changed and it was thick with tension and confusion. "So, if that was all, then maybe we should head for the checkout and go home."

"Yeah, sure," he mumbled. "Unless there is something else you need? Something that wasn't on the list."

"Candles." The word slipped out but it had been on her mind for a while; it had been a long time since she'd last kelno'reemed and she knew it'd help find her balance. "To meditate."

"I have about a dozen of those colored candles. Some may even be scented."

She chuckled at the face he made with the surprising revelation. "You do?"

He shrugged, "I got them for Teal'c and his meditation stuff. Sometimes he stays at my place and it seemed easier to buy him his own set rather than expect him to take them from his quarters every time he went out."

"Oh." That was actually kind of thoughtful of him…

"So, if you don't mind using those candles, we can go to the checkout. Otherwise we'll have to stop by a different store before we go home."

She shifted Ife on her hip and indicated the checkout. "I'm sure those candles are fine. Let's go."

Jack appeared amused by her suddenly calling the shots but went along with it anyway, "Yes, Ma'am."

"Oh, look at that little girl!" The woman behind the register exclaimed, eying Ife, as Jack unloaded their shopping cart. "Isn't she precious?"

Sam automatically took a step back, her grip on Ife tightening at the woman's remark.

"Let me tell you, it's nice to see a young couple out shopping together with their beautiful little girl. These days everyone is rushing off to work and no one takes the time to do things together anymore. If they're even together. In my day, a family was raised by a mother and a father. Nowadays, there are far too many single parents."

Sam and Jack exchanged glances and she could read his discomfort with the situation, although she couldn't tell whether it was the implication that they were together or that he felt bad for her and Ife – or perhaps it went deeper, back to his own late son and ex-wife. "Um-"

Jack unexpectedly slid and arm around her waist and interrupted her. "You're absolutely right, Norma," he said, after peering at the woman's nametag.

"Look at that charming smile," Norma said to Sam, blushing. "He's a keeper, honey."

Sam forced a smile at the woman as he paid for the groceries. The bagboy was packing up everything and she mentally urged him to hurry up when Ife started squirming in her arms.

Jack took the change and receipt with another charming smile, before grabbing the shopping cart and heading for the exit with his hand on her back. "Relax Sam, or you'll squeeze her to death."

"Sorry sweetie," she mumbled to Ife, pressing a kiss to her cheek. She turned to Jack and loosened her hold on the girl, "And I'm sorry about that, too."

"What, Norma? Not your fault," he said, shrugging. "Let's just avoid this store from now on."

Sam laughed at the mischievous look he threw her way. "Deal."


	11. Chapter 11

**Abydos**  
Milky Way Galaxy   
**December 8, 1999**

Jack poked the campfire and watched as little sparks went flying. It was late and Kasuf had insisted that SG-1 and -2 stay the night so they could enjoy the celebrations. Teal'c and Coburn's team had already retreated to their tents for the evening, like most Abydonians. But Kasuf and Skaara were still there, standing just a few feet away. Daniel was sitting across the fire with Sha're between his legs, resting against his body. His arms wrapped around his wife and she cradled her son in her arms, the boy they'd retrieved from Kheb.

It was reassuring to see both Sha're and Skaara being accepted by their people – and father – after what they went through. Skaara wasn't the carefree boy he'd been anymore, he'd returned as a young man shouldering a heavy burden. Jack knew Skaara had seen too much evil to ever lose the darkness that still haunted him. But the Abydonians seemed to respect him even more for defeating his demon and it looked like he was still considered Kasuf's successor. Jack knew Sha're had experienced far more difficulty with dealing what she went through and being back among her people – she'd been pushing Daniel away, too. But after SG-1 reunited her with her son she'd shown the first genuine smile since Cimmeria and she and Daniel had been inseparable.

If anyone had told Jack that he'd save Skaara and Sha're from the Goa'uld and reunite her with her son after that second mission to Abydos, he'd have told them they were nuts. Optimistic, but nuts. The galaxy was a big place and the Goa'uld were inherently evil, yet somehow he and his team had managed the unthinkable.

Now, watching Daniel and Sha're with Shifu, he felt an ache inside. A longing. It was ridiculous but he almost felt envious for what his friend had. But if Daniel could be a father to Apophis' son, then why couldn't he do the same for Klorel's daughter? Of course, he and Sam hadn't been married or really even together at the time of her abduction and he wasn't quite sure what they were now – friends, maybe – but he knew he cared about her. A lot more than he was supposed to, considering the circumstances. He might even call it love. And Ife had managed to conquer her own little corner of his heart, right next to Sam's. The girl's parentage didn't matter to him…

"You are still awake, O'Neill," Teal'c said, after sitting down next to him

"Anyone ever tell you you're very astute, T?"

The Jaffa smirked, "Indeed."

"Thought you'd retired for the night with SG-2."

"I merely assisted Major Coburn and his men with their sleeping arrangements."

Jack nodded in understanding, knowing from experience that the Abydonian tents weren't easy to set up for those who'd never seen them before, like Coburn. "Daniel and Sha're look happy."

Teal'c followed his line of sight and observed their teammate and his wife. "Perhaps Sha're of Abydos had given up hope of laying eyes on her child again."

"She almost hadn't," he said, looking at his friend, "if it weren't for you."

"It was Captain Carter who discovered the address of Kheb."

Sam's willingness to help locate the mythical place had surprised Jack considering how little she spoke of her time off-world. She didn't seem interested in Sha're or Skaara in the slightest either, even though the three of them shared similar experiences. But perhaps she had identified with Sha're as a mother and former host who'd been forced to have a Goa'uld's child. "Yeah, if she hadn't learned of Osiris hiding from Seth on a planet in the Lok'na core from Herit's memories then Catherine wouldn't have been able to narrow down the address to Kheb."

Teal'c turned to him, eyebrow raised. "It appears Captain Carter has better access to Herit's memories than either Skaara or Sha're do from their Goa'uld."

"Yeah, on occasion." Jack knew she'd learned to search Herit's memories through the kelno'reem Bra'tac taught her, but he didn't think it was wise to tell the SGC and the brass that she could, theoretically, tap into all that Goa'uld knowledge whenever she wanted. "But if you hadn't asked Oma Desala if it was possible to remove the boy's knowledge of the Goa'uld then Sha're wouldn't have been given the chance to make that decision."

"No child should suffer the evilness of the Goa'uld or be taken from its mother."

He thought back to their time on Kheb earlier that day, when Oma explained the dangers for Shifu – and by extension, Sha're – if it became known that he was _harsesis_ and how difficult it would be for him to cope with the knowledge of all Goa'uld. Teal'c was right and he'd been the only one to think to ask Oma to remove it, rather than let the glowy alien take off with the boy to keep him safe. Jack had been the one to insist on going to Abydos to get Sha're so she could make the decision about her son's fate. "Sha're made the right decision."

"Indeed."

"Daniel promised Sha're that he'd support her no matter which decision she made."

Understanding dawned on the Jaffa's face. "He cannot fulfill his promise to raise the child as his own if he remains on SG-1."

He nodded slowly, "Yeah. He hasn't said anything yet, but I don't think spending a day or two a week on Abydos is gonna be enough in the long run."

"We shall cross that bridge when we come to it, O'Neill."

Jack stretched his legs and looked over to where Skaara and Kasuf were still talking. From his position, he couldn't see Kasuf's face but Skaara was facing him, albeit at a slight angle. He hadn't really spoken to Skaara since finding out about Ife…

"You appear troubled, O'Neill," Teal'c said in a low voice.

He turned to his friend and ran a hand through his hair. "Just… thinking."

Teal'c had a knowing look on his face, "About the wellbeing of Skaara of Abydos or his relation to Ife Carter?"

"Skaara seems to be doing well, although it'll take longer than three months for him to deal with what Klorel and Apophis put him through."

"Then it is Captain Carter's daughter you are pondering."

He sighed, trying to decide whether Ife and Sam were topics he felt comfortable discussing. Then again, this was Teal'c… "I can't help but wonder if he knows."

The Jaffa glanced in Skaara's direction, "That Captain Carter was with child or that she gave birth to Ife Carter?"

"Either, both."

"During Triad, Skaara of Abydos claimed to have witnessed most, if not everything, Klorel did and experienced while controlling him. If Klorel was aware of the child he fathered, then so would Skaara."

"And if Herit knew, which she presumably would the moment it happened like Sha're did, then she would have told Klorel," Jack added.

Teal'c quirked an eyebrow at the remark. "Unless Herit was affected similarly by the child growing within as Amaunet."

They still didn't know if it had been Amaunet who'd felt protective of Shifu – perhaps fearing what Heru'ur would do to him – or if Sha're's feelings affected Amaunet's actions. "And that's why she fled the ship?"

"Perhaps."

"That's assuming Ife is _harsesis_ ," Jack said slowly. He had no idea what to think or if Sam was even aware of what a _harsesis_ was. Had he or Daniel referred to Sha're's baby as such to Sam? "And that they knew."

"How could Ife Carter not be _harsesis_ if she is the offspring of two Goa'uld, O'Neill?"

He shrugged, "I don't know. I suppose it explains why Sam never mentioned Ife until we came to take her back to Earth."

"A possible explanation indeed," Teal'c said. "How much has Captain Carter shared with you?"

The few times Jack had tried to broach the subject of Ife's parentage or Skaara and Klorel, Sam had shot him down by changing the subject or ignoring his questions. Could helping to find Kheb and thereby Sha're son have been Sam's way of letting them know she was ready to talk about the possibility of Ife being _harsesis_? He didn't think she was that kind of person – she seemed more direct. Then again, how well did he truly know her? Not well enough, yet. Pushing her also wasn't something Jack was comfortable with but perhaps it was time he did. "Not a hell of a lot, T. I don't even know if Skaara knows and I've been avoiding him all day just in case he'd ask."

"The paternity of Ife Carter weighs heavily on your mind."

"Yeah, I guess it does."

Teal'c got to his feet and looked down at him. "It is not your place to divulge such information, even when it concerns a friend."

Jack knew he was right. It was difficult to keep it from Skaara and he'd kept his distance all day, to prevent having to lie to him. "I know, T. Guess it's time to talk to Sam when I get home tomorrow."

* * *

**O'Neill Residence**   
**Colorado Springs, CO**   
**December 9, 1999**

Sam smiled down at her sleeping daughter and placed the children's book on the nightstand, before getting off the bed. They'd only been a few pages in when Ife nodded off which wasn't too surprising considering the girl had tired herself out in the snow with Jack after dinner.

Leaning down, Sam pressed a kiss to Ife's hair and tucked her in properly. She headed for the door and cast a last glance at the bed from the door opening. Then, she flicked off the light, bathing the bedroom in darkness, how Ife was used to sleeping, and closed the door.

Jack was sitting in his easy chair and channel surfing when Sam came into the living room. "She asleep?"

"Yeah," she said, taking a seat on the sofa and pulling a blanket over her legs. "It only took a few pages."

His dark eyes found hers, a small smile on his face. "Did she like the book?"

Ife had missed Jack while he was away on his mission to Kheb but he'd more than made up for it when he returned home that evening with a book for her. He'd simply shrugged when Sam asked him about it, but she knew he'd had to have gone into town to buy it before going home. A while back, he'd told her that after an overnight mission, he preferred going straight home after the debrief, so for him to have made the effort… "Yes, she loved it. Thank you."

"It was nothing."

She watched his profile as he turned back to the television. Just like earlier that day, he shrugged it off like it didn't mean anything, but it did. To her, and to Ife. "Jack…" She waited until she had his attention, "It means a lot."

There was a warmth to the look in his eyes when he replied, "You're welcome."

"Ife, she's never…" Sam sighed and looked down at her hands, before trying again, "Children's books are not very common off-world, if you'd believe it. And I've never done this before… I mean, I never even babysit when I was a teenager, so all the fairytales and children's stories are not something I'm familiar with. My mother used to read them to Mark and me at bedtime but I don't recall the specifics. What I'm trying to say, is that I've pretty much been making up bedtime stories for Ife. She's never had a book before."

"Well," Jack said softly, "I guess now we know what Santa will be bringing her for Christmas."

She chuckled softly and gave him a grateful smile, holding his gaze. When he broke off and returned his attention to the TV, she grabbed his bottle of Guinness off the coffee table and took a swig. She was still weaning Ife and was careful about drinking alcohol because of it, but she'd made a habit of sneaking a few sips from his beer since that night on his roof.

A comfortable silence descended upon the room with the television as background noise. Sam settled more comfortably on the sofa and closed her eyes, allowing herself to fully relax.

She'd been worried about Jack while he was off-world, searching for Sha're's son, because she knew there was a good chance that Amaunet or someone else had set a trap for anyone looking for the _harsesis_. Catherine had called last night to let Sam know that SG-1 had succeeded and would be returning the next day, but she'd remained tense until he was actually home.

Jack broke the silence by clearing his throat, "Sam?"

"Yeah?"

He muted the television and shifted in his chair until he faced her fully. "Do you know what a _harsesis_ is?"

Sam's heart skipped a beat and she had to make an effort not to look shocked, hating herself just a little for deceiving him – for Ife's sake. "The offspring of two Goa'uld hosts with all the knowledge of the Goa'uld," she answered softly.

"You knew?"

"I told you before, I've learned a lot about the Goa'uld and Jaffa through Herit's memories," she said, looking away from the hurt expression on his face.

Jack grabbed his beer and took a swig. "You knew and you didn't say anything," he said, phrasing it as a statement rather than a question.

Sam shrugged and chanced a glance in his direction. He seemed mostly confused, so it probably wasn't about Ife. "You mean Sha're's son?"

Something flashed in his eyes, but he nodded. "Yeah. You knew we were looking for him and even helped narrow down the location of Kheb, but why didn't you say something?"

"I figured you knew what you were doing."

"You figured we…" He trailed off, shaking his head. "What does that even mean?"

Sam winced at her own excuse and tried again, "Well, I assumed the SGC knew about the _harsesis_ because of your search and as a Jaffa, Teal'c would know about the possibility."

Jack frowned and fiddled with his empty beer bottle. "Possibility? It's not a guarantee?"

"Not the way I understand it."

"… which is?"

She made a vague gesture with her hand, trying to find a way to phrase it. "I guess you could say it's a choice the Goa'uld make. Creating a _harsesis_ is forbidden by the System Lords and they'll be tracked down and killed, which is why Amaunet was hidden away during her pregnancy."

"What kind of a choice?"

"Well, the Goa'uld controls everything in the host's body," she explained. "That includes a woman's menstrual cycle and the production of semen. Through hormone production."

Jack made a face and shifted in his seat, appearing uncomfortable. "So, what you're saying is that both Goa'uld have to alter their host's, um, reproductive system for it to happen?"

Sam nodded in agreement. "From what little I know about Queens is that they can choose the genetic information they pass onto their offspring and I guess it's possible that a regular Goa'uld can do this as well."

"Why?"

"Because Goa'uld like Apophis father many offspring with their human slaves for example. I don't know if he's fathered a child with another host before Amaunet, though. But if he did, then he could still choose whether to pass on his Goa'uld genes or simply the host's DNA."

"And with just the host's DNA the child would be a normal human, not _harsesis_?"

Sam wasn't sure if that was the case but she felt it made sense, considering the few things she _had_ learned about Goa'uld reproduction from Herit. "Yes."

He blew out a breath and leaned back, before shooting her a concerned look. "I'm sorry if this makes you uncomfortable-"

"It's fine," she said, interrupting him. "When Catherine called last night to tell me you were staying on Abydos, she mentioned you'd found the boy and that he was fine."

"Yeah." Jack scrubbed a hand over his face, looking a little worse for wear. "There was this glowy alien on Kheb… Daniel said she was an ascended being or something, with powers like Mother Nature. Anyway, she had been taking care of the boy and warned us against taking him because of the knowledge he possessed."

"So he really is _harsesis_?"

"Was, I guess. After she explained about the boy, Daniel was inclined to let her safeguard him to make sure the knowledge and evilness of the Goa'uld wouldn't take over. But then Teal'c asked if the knowledge could be removed."

Sam gasped, more than a little in awe of the alien's powers. "Just like that?"

Jack shrugged, "Well, I felt it wasn't our decision to make, so we went to Abydos to get Sha're and she was the one who told the alien to remove the knowledge. He's just a normal toddler now. She named him Shifu."

"It means light."

"Oh. I guess that's a fitting name, then."

She returned his small smile, "Yes, I suppose it is."

Jack placed his beer bottle on the table with a loud thump and turned to her with a concerned look on his face. "Sam… I know you'd rather not talk about it and I don't want to push you, but I don't think we can avoid it for much longer."

"What?"

"You were right about Teal'c; he told us about the _harsesis_ boy about six months ago."

Sam bit her lip, wondering if this was leading to where she feared it would. "Okay…"

He looked ill at ease, as if he didn't really want to be there. "When you came back and were placed in quarantine, the question whether Ife was _harsesis_ was raised."

"Ja-"

"Look, Doctor Fraiser told us she had no idea and at the time, we weren't even sure if a _harsesis_ was real, just that the Goa'uld and Jaffa believed them to be. Yesterday, we got confirmation that the offspring of two Goa'uld really does possess all knowledge of the Goa'uld and I can't help but wonder about Ife. We know it's no longer a myth."

Sam noticed his eyes dart in the direction of the hallway leading to the bedroom, where Ife was sleeping. He'd waited all day before asking her… How could she convince him he was wrong without giving too much away? Her heart was pounding in her chest from the intensity in his gaze. "Ife is perfectly normal," she breathed, "She's not _harsesis_."

Something flashed in his eyes but it was too fleeting for her to identify, his face taking on that blank mask she'd seen on Utcha again. "I get that's what you want to believe, but how could you tell? Christ Sam, you of all people should know the odds. Or at the very least want actual proof to substantiate it."

"I swear, she's human." She'd almost said 'as human as you and I are' but managed to stop herself just in time.

"But you don't _know_." Jack huffed and ran a hand through his hair in frustration. "I'm not the only person who's thought of it, Sam. I didn't voice my concerns about Ife in the debriefing because quite frankly I don't trust it to not leave the briefing room after that whole Rogue NID operation, but it's bound to come up again soon."

Sam's mind immediately conjured up images of medical experiments and she swallowed hard, her voice thick when she spoke, "They said Ife and I would be safe."

He raised his brows, "Come on, Sam, you know better than that…"

"They'd have go to through me," she said, "and it would all be for nothing, because there's nothing wrong with Ife."

"I'm not saying there's something _wrong_ with her," he said, seemingly choosing his words carefully, "but different. If she's _harsesis_ -"

"I told you, she's not. She's normal." She kicked off the blanket and got to her feet, pacing the living room angrily.

Jack sighed from where he was watching her in his chair. "You weren't there on Kheb, Sam. What that alien told us… Well, let's just say I wouldn't be surprised if all the evil that comes with the Goa'uld knowledge is one of the reasons Ife is so quiet and withdrawn."

Glaring at him, Sam couldn't help but wonder if he'd be so quick to point out Ife's supposed flaws and underdevelopment if he knew she was his. "There is nothing wrong with her, Jack. She just hasn't had a traditional upbringing up until now."

"She's not…" He caught himself and trailed off, scrubbing a hand over his face. "You were host to Herit and Skaara, well, he was host to Klorel. I took him to Cimmeria a couple of months ago to go through Thor's Hammer and afterwards, he told me a little about Klorel and Herit…"

"Oh." She could feel her cheeks heat up in embarrassment, even though she knew there was nothing to be ashamed of – she did what she had to do to survive. It wasn't as if she'd ever denied a sexual relationship between Klorel an Herit and she'd let everyone think Ife was Klorel's anyway, but the thought of _how_ Klorel – Skaara, she reminded herself – would have phrased it to Jack and what exactly he'd shared with him…

"Don't. It's not your fault, Sam. You were both victims of the Goa'uld."

Suddenly, she wondered what else he might have learned about her time as Herit from other sources, like Bra'tac and Moac. Teal'c probably knew everything about the lifestyle of mated Goa'uld, too. "I didn't know about him using Thor's Hammer," she said instead.

"Skaara is back on Abydos now, trying to go back to his old life." Jack frowned, hesitating before he spoke again, "I didn't tell him about Ife, but don't you think maybe you should? I could probably arrange for you to travel to Abydos or Skaara to come to the SGC-"

"No!"

Jack appeared taken aback by her vehement response and simply waited, giving her time.

The thought of meeting him made her sick to her stomach, even though Sam logically knew Skaara was as much a victim of Klorel as she was. But it had been Skaara's hands and mouth on her, his face above her… She swallowed against the bile rising in her throat and bit her lip, looking away to gather her emotions. "I don't want to meet him. As a matter of fact, I'd prefer not to talk about him at all."

"Sam, don't you think he has a right-"

"No," she was quick to say, shaking her head. "He has nothing to do with me and Ife."

The confusion – and perhaps even some disapproval – showed on Jack's face. "But-"

"Ife's not his!" Sam hadn't meant to blurt it out like that and she figured she probably looked as stunned as Jack did at the admission. "Okay?"

"Okay?" He parroted, getting to his feet. "No, it's not 'okay', Sam. You can't just say that because you don't want people to think Ife isn't _harsesis_ -"

"She's not his or a _harsesis_ ," she said, brushing past him to leave the room.

Jack, however, grabbed her arm to stop her. "What are you saying, exactly?"

She looked up into his dark eyes, unable to read him. "Have you looked at her, Jack? Does she look anything close to Abydonian?"

"Ife takes after you," he said slowly.

Sam bit her lip and looked away. "Yeah, I guess she does."


	12. Chapter 12

**O'Neill Residence**   
**Colorado Springs, CO**   
**December 11, 1999**

Jack was sitting at the kitchen table, staring out the window. He'd been preoccupied ever since Sam dropped her little bombshell on him about Skaara and Ife last night. Afterwards, she'd gone to bed and eventually, he'd called it a night too. He'd made breakfast but she hadn't come out until he went to shower and after breakfast she'd taken Ife to the Academy Hospital, for a check-up. Fraiser had arranged it to be on the weekend, so they'd have more time and less of an audience and interruptions. Meanwhile, he'd stayed home, doing chores around the house to distract himself.

He'd finished twenty minutes ago and while he'd like to blame his inability to focus on the fact that Sam had taken his truck, he knew the reason had nothing to do with someone else – who'd been off-world for nearly two and a half years – driving his truck. No, it was all down to Sam's confession about Ife's paternity.

Distracted, he reached for his coffee cup only to find the coffee had grown cold. He got up and poured himself a new cup. Earlier that morning, he'd had some Froot Loops and now he was starting to get hungry again, so he opened the fridge to find something edible. He ended up making himself a tuna sandwich, all the while thinking of his stay on Abydos.

Jack couldn't deny he'd observed Skaara from a distance the day before and he'd found no noticeable resemblance to Ife, but the little girl did take after Sam… Her eyes, coloring, nose and dimples were all Sam. Skaara's hair was jet-black, his eyes dark brown and his skin tone was different, too. The latter couldn't just be the result of living on a desert planet. The Abydonians descended from the Egyptians, after all. Then again, Shifu had very light coloring too despite Sha're and Apophis' host not being Caucasian.

Had Sam spoken the truth last night?

She'd let him – everyone – think Skaara was Ife's father, but why? Clearly, she knew about _harsesises_ and it made sense that people would assume Ife was one because of her parentage.

Jack was about to take another bite of his tuna sandwich when he recalled the envelope Daniel had given him last week. He abandoned the sandwich on his plate and went into the guest room, where he'd put it with the rest of his things. Someone had taken pictures of their Thanksgiving dinner at the Doc's and he figured there had to be a picture of Ife among them. It didn't take him long to find one of Sam with Ife on her lap – perfect.

In the master bedroom, he rummaged through the bottom drawer of his dresser to retrieve the small lockbox with some off-world mementos in it. Mostly rocks, gifts and other small items, but also some pictures. Nothing too alien. But there was at least one of Skaara, from the first mission to Abydos.

He placed the two pictures next to each other on the table in the dining room, scrutinizing the features of the two adults and comparing them to Ife. Jack could see a lot of Sam in the little girl's face, but she wasn't a complete carbon copy. Skaara was a couple of years younger in his photograph, but there was absolutely no resemblance to Ife.

So, Jack's powers of observation hadn't failed him back on Abydos. If Skaara was not Ife's father, then who was and why did Sam lie about it? Or at least, let everyone believe Skaara was until the claimed paternity threatened to label Ife as _harsesis_.

Fraiser had estimated Ife to be fourteen or fifteen months old and that was almost a month ago, so she'd be fifteen or sixteen months now. Jack knew she couldn't be his because it had been almost two and a half years since he and Sam slept together. Not to mention the physical trauma Sam had gone through after her capture. He knew she and Bra'tac were close but he'd seen them together and there was no way the two of them had been intimate.

An idea popped into his head and Jack quickly went into the kitchen, going straight for the corkboard on the wall. He grabbed the _The Simpson_ calendar – Christmas gifts from Cassie – hanging from it and reached up to grab the two previous editions from the shelf above. He detoured to the counter to get his abandoned tuna sandwich and poured himself a fresh cup of coffee, before going back to the dining room. He placed everything on the tabletop and went back to November 1999, circling the twelfth as Sam's return date. Sam's first mission was on August first, 1997, and a few pages farther he circled October fifteenth, the day SG-1 had saved the planet and Herit and Bra'tac escaped the _ha'tak_.

Counting back from November gave July or August 1998 as Ife's date of birth. Fraiser had told them that Sam had no idea if she'd carried full term or if Ife had been born prematurely and if he remembered correctly, they'd put July on the birth certificate. He used the 1998 calendar to count back to the moment of conception, which would then be somewhere in October to December 1997. He knew Sha're had given birth on June fifth 1998, because Daniel had delivered the baby on Abydos and Shifu had been born a little early, according to her.

Jack supposed it was possible that Apophis or Amaunet had told Klorel and Herit about the _harsesis_ , prompting them to… He made a face at the thought, but had to acknowledge it was still possible that Klorel – Skaara – had fathered Ife. It could have been why Herit fled the _ha'tak_ during the attack on Earth.

But that would mean Sam had lied about Ife's paternity last night.

Sighing, he leaned back in his chair and took a bite of his sandwich. He understood Sam's instinct to protect her daughter but the idea that she'd been lying to him – either in the beginning or last night – didn't sit right. Did she finally trust him enough to come clean or was it just an attempt to make people believe Ife wasn't _harsesis_? They knew now that a _harsesis_ wasn't just a myth but that didn't mean the SGC suddenly had the means to test whether a child was one or not.

He sipped his coffee, his mind going a mile a minute as he thought it all through. In the end, the only other reason he came up with for Sam letting them think Skaara fathered Ife, was that there had been someone else. That after escaping the evil Goa'uld, some other bastard had raped her or Herit had engaged in sex with someone else – either way, Sam was the victim. Perhaps she was embarrassed about it, especially since they all knew what had happened with Klorel…

"Jesus," he muttered. The thought made him sick to his stomach and his anger flared at the reminder of all the shit she'd gone through. She carried herself so well that sometimes it was easy to forget that she'd gone to hell and back.

After pushing the plate and coffee away, he got up and grabbed the photograph of her and Ife at Fraiser's. Sam had worn a simple black dress that night and no makeup but she'd looked beautiful to him and even more so in the picture as she smiled down at her daughter. He hadn't looked through all he photographs Daniel had given him, but he knew Sam hadn't been in many since she'd avoided the camera – and company – whenever she could. The picture in his hand could very well be the only one of her and Ife in existence.

He looked down at the two smiling faces and walked over to the master bedroom. There, he placed the photograph upright against the light on the nightstand.

Back in the dining room, he started putting away his 'research' and made the decision not to ask Sam anymore questions. Like Teal'c had said, Ife's paternity was none of his business. If Sam wanted to talk to him about it, then he'd be there for her but he wasn't going to push her for answers. She didn't owe him an explanation.

Half an hour later, he heard the front door open, followed by Ife running into the house. He easily caught the girl when she launched herself at him and hugged her tight. "Hey there, munchkin."

Sam followed her daughter a little more sedately into the living room and gave him a small smile when she found them together. "Hey."

"How did it go?"

"We're both fine," she said.

Jack waited for her to elaborate and when she didn't, he prompted her, "…but?"

She shrugged and started taking off her coat. "But we're still underweight and in need of some extra iron and vitamins. Doctor Fraiser also wants to schedule a dentist appointment for me because of my missing molars."

"Ah," he said, eying the small paper bag she had in her hands. Knowing the Doc, she'd given her everything she needed right away.

"Need to pee," Ife said, pushing herself upright in his lap.

Jack helped her down but by the time he got to his feet, the girl had already run off to the bathroom. "Guess she doesn't need any help," he mumbled.

Sam crossed her arms and raised an eyebrow, "She's been doing fine since you placed those wooden steps in front of the toilet."

"Oh." That hadn't really registered with him, mostly because Ife spent most of her time with Sam and hadn't asked him for help since that first day. He'd assumed Sam had been helping her. "Well, that's good."

"I'm just going to put my things away."

He watched her move back into the entryway to put her coat away and followed her into the kitchen, where she put the new prescriptions with her old ones. From the fridge, he pulled two bottles of water and offered her one. Their fingers brushed when she accepted it and he forced himself to take a step back. "Sam..."

She took a quick sip of water before reaching into her jeans pocket to retrieve the keys to his truck. "Thanks for letting me borrow the truck," she said, placing the keys on the counter.

"Sure." He hesitated for a moment, recognizing the way she was avoiding his gaze. "About last night," he said eventually, "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have pushed, I was simply concerned. But Ife is your daughter and it's none of my business."

"I, um…" She frowned and shook her head a little. "Thank you. I appreciate it."

Jack shrugged as if it was nothing, but in reality he was a little disappointed that she seemed to have changed her mind about whatever it was she was going to say. "Look, earlier this year I put in a request for two weeks' leave to spend some time at my cabin. Figured I'd come back in time for the holidays."

Surprised, she simply looked at him. "Um, okay. Right," she breathed. "Of course. You should go. Enjoy your leave. You didn't ask for any of this-"

Jack put a hand on her arm to stop her. "Hey, I _did_ ask. I wouldn't have made the offer for you two to stay here if I didn't mean it."

Sam nodded but shrugged off his hand. "I doubt you'd counted on us staying here for a month… Look, we'll be fine. It's time for us to be on our own, anyway. And I swear, as soon as I get my 'back pay' we'll be out of your hair. That probably won't be until January, though. I can rent an apartment or something and pay you back for everything. According to my calculations, it would be more than enough for a down payment on a house, but I'm not sure if we'll be staying in Colorado in the foreseeable future, so…"

"Oh."

"Would it be okay for us to stay here while you're at your cabin?"

The idea of them moving out hadn't crossed his mind yet. He didn't like it one bit. It was just that he'd gotten so attached to them that he was starting to stick his nose into things that were none of his business, like Ife's paternity and whether or not she was _harsesis_. "Um, of course."

She gave him a tight smile. "Thanks."

"I don't want you to leave," he blurted out.

"Jack?"

He blew out a breath and ran a hand through his hair, trying to find the right words. "I just thought that you might want some space… It feels like you've been avoiding me since last night and I understand that maybe I crossed a line, but I don't want you to go. I like having you and Ife around," he added, softly.

She blinked at him before looking away, her eyes suspiciously watery. "Oh."

"You could come with me," he offered. "Both of you. The cabin is pretty isolated and the surrounding area is private land, with lots of trees and a lake. Ife might like it."

"Ife might like it?" She repeated, a small smile on her face.

He grinned, "Yeah sure, you betcha."

* * *

**O'Neill Cabin**   
**Silver Creek, MN**   
**December 13, 1999**

It was dark outside when Sam woke up, her head bumping against the passenger window. She blinked sleepily, trying to get her bearings. They were heading down a dirt path and a look at the dashboard told her it had been a few hours since Jack took over the wheel.

"We're almost there," Jack said softly, glancing in her direction.

"Oh," she said, rubbing her eyes. "I didn't mean to fall asleep on you. Sorry."

"Don't worry about it."

She twisted around in her seat to see Ife still fast asleep in her car seat. The little girl had been nodding off for most of the ride, much to Sam's relief. They'd left on Sunday but she'd offered to alternate so they could keep going, rather than finding a motel for the night. Jack had taken her up on her offer and they'd only stopped for meals, bathroom breaks and to stretch their legs. He'd told her he usually drove up to the cabin when he could afford to take the time on the road and he rarely found a motel, preferring to get some sleep when he arrived at the cabin. This time, they got to alternate their time behind the wheel, while the other caught a few hours of shuteye.

Suppressing a yawn, she stretched her frame as best she could in the cab. His knuckles brushed against the outside of her knee when he changed gears and she quickly moved aside. "I wouldn't mind stretching my legs."

"Yeah," he said, throwing her an indecipherable look. "Just a few more minutes and we'll be there."

"Is there anything edible in your cabin?" Her stomach was growling and it had been way too long since lunch.

"I called ahead and asked Mary and Joe to get the cabin ready." He must have noticed her confused expression and elaborated, "They're from town and retired years ago. Joe keeps busy with fishing and some carpentry and Mary does the cleaning and stocking, mostly for people like me who can't get up here on a regular basis. So, whenever I get some leave, I call ahead and they get the cabin ready."

"Oh. That's nice of them."

He shrugged, "They say it keeps them busy."

She was pretty sure her old neighbors in DC hadn't even noticed she'd 'died' and she couldn't imagine any of them doing something similar for her, especially not if she only came around a few times a year. Even before her time off-world, she didn't know anyone like that. Well, maybe Catherine, but the woman had her own maid and probably didn't know the first thing about dusting or changing the bedding. "Well, I think I can take Ife straight to bed when we arrive, but it's good to know that there'll be food. I'm starving."

"The bedrooms should be ready, so that won't be a problem."

"How many bedrooms are there?"

He took a turn to the right and suddenly the cabin was visible, eliciting a smile from him. "Two bedrooms."

Sam leaned forward in her seat to get a better look at the cabin while he parked the truck and had to admit it looked charming. A bit rustic maybe, but she thought it fit Jack. After all the places she'd used as temporary housing off-world her standards weren't very high, but she could definitely see why he'd spoken fondly of his cabin. She interpreted the drumming of his fingers as restlessness and figured he wanted to get out of the truck, so she quickly unbuckled her seatbelt. Jack, however, remained seated and that was when she started wondering if he was… nervous, maybe, about bringing them up to the cabin.

The invitation had caught her off-guard initially. Perhaps there was more to it, though. Last night, he'd briefly spoken about how his late son, Charlie, had enjoyed their summer vacations at the cabin. Had he ever brought anyone other than his family up here?

Taking a deep breath, Sam reached out to still his drumming fingers on the gear stick, covering his hand with hers. "It looks great, Jack. I take it Mary and Joe left the lights on?"

"Mary doesn't believe in coming home to a dark house."

"I like that," she said softly.

Jack shared a smile with her before turning off the engine. "Want me to take Ife inside?"

"No, I'll get her. Could you take our bags inside?"

"Sure."

Inside the cabin, everything looked just as she'd imagined. Very Jack. A little less modern than his house, but the style wasn't too different. She could hear the wood crackling in the fireplace and welcomed the warmth after their brief walk from the truck. She placed the car seat on the floor and started taking off her coat and boots, smiling when Ife blinked at her sleepily. The movement or cold outside must have woken her up.

Sam unbuckled her daughter and lifted her up, balancing her on her hip, before following Jack into the kitchen. He'd stopped midstride and was staring off to the left. When she followed his gaze she saw the dining room table, set with candles and flowers. Oh. "The cabin looks… nice."

"Mary, um, left a roast in the fridge," he said, after snatching up a note from one of the plates. He seemed intent on ignoring the romantic setting and turned on the oven, moving onto the fridge to take the roast out. "Do you want to put the munchkin to bed right away?"

"Um, yeah." She glanced at Ife who seemed more sleepy than hungry and brushed a hand over the girl's hair. "That's probably best."

He placed the roast on the counter and moved past them, "The bedrooms are back here," he said, leading the way and beckoning her to follow. "I figured we'd use the same arrangement as back home. You and Ife take the master bedroom and I'll crash in the guestroom."

She felt ill at ease at kicking him out of his own bedroom again. "The guestroom is fine. Trust me, we've slept in worse places."

"Maybe." He indicated the door farther down the hall, "The guestroom only has a single bed, but the master has a double. It'll be more comfortable for you."

The single bed probably belonged to Charlie once upon a time as did the 'guestroom' and she couldn't help but wonder if anyone had stayed there overnight or if Jack had even been in there since the boy passed away. "Jack-"

"You two will take the master bedroom…"

Sam's eyes widened after he opened the door and revealed all the unlit candles around the bedroom. Laughter bubbled within her at the look on his face and she couldn't resist teasing him, "Jack, what exactly did the note say?"

He groaned and scrubbed a hand over his face, before facing her and handing over the note. "I told Mary that I'd be coming up with a friend and her daughter, but I think she misinterpreted."

"'Lady friend'?" She asked, after reading the note.

"Guess I should have been clearer on the phone."

The embarrassed look on his face amused her and she chuckled softly, "It's fine. I take it Mary is a romantic?"

He rolled his eyes and went into the bedroom. "Let me clear up this stuff and then you can put Ife to bed. The bathroom is through that door."

"No, it's okay," she said, stopping him with a hand on his arm. "I'll make good use of them for my _kelno'reem_."

"Okay," he drawled, looking at her strangely. "I'll just get dinner ready."

Sam took Ife into the bathroom with her and they showered together. The bag she'd packed was waiting for her when they got back into the bedroom. She'd barely finished getting Ife dressed in pajamas when the girl nodded off on the bed. Sighing, Sam exchanged her own towel for leggings, a tank top, fluffy socks and one of Jack's hockey jerseys and then she tucked Ife in.

The smell of food hit her as she stepped out of the bedroom and her stomach rumbled in appreciation. Jack was standing at the counter, making gravy when she joined him in the kitchen.

"Ife asleep?"

"Out like a light," Sam confirmed. "Speaking of lights, I left the bedroom door open and the light in the hallway on. Just in case she wakes up in the middle of the night."

He nodded in understanding, "Think she will?"

Feeling a little lost just standing there, she took a seat at the table. "Maybe. She's slept a lot already. I don't want her to be afraid if she does wake up, though."

"I get the feeling neither of us is going to stay up late tonight, so I doubt that'll be the case. Not when you're with her."

"Food first, though."

He smirked and turned off the stove. "It'll be ready in a few minutes."

Sam watched him as he checked on the roast, her gaze lingering on his backside when he bent over and she felt herself blushing when he looked over his shoulder at her. "Um, good. I'm starving."

"What about Ife? She hasn't had anything to eat yet before you put her to bed." The corners of his mouth were pulled up in a ghost of a smile and his eyes twinkled when he looked at her, but he made no mention of her staring. Instead, he took the roast out of the oven and came over to the table to collect their plates.

"I fed her at our last stop, so she probably isn't hungry yet anyway." She'd elected to breastfeed Ife when she was hungry on the trip because it was a hell of a lot easier than finding a place to eat or taking food for Ife with them. Also, breastfeeding seemed to calm her and make it easier to fall asleep – Sam wasn't sure if that was merely a comfort thing or not, she was just happy not to be in the car with a crying and unsettled toddler.

Jack's gaze dropped to her chest before he realized and looked away, clearing his throat. "Right. She probably had more to eat than either of us."

She smiled at his back as he started scooping food on their plates, knowing he'd caught more than a few glimpses of her breastfeeding in the backseat. He'd gone to stretch his legs when Ife was hungry, but not every time. Even now, she wasn't sure how to feel about it. It didn't bother her because he wasn't the first person in front of whom she'd nursed – and he'd already seen her naked all that time ago – and she knew he hadn't been leering at her. As a matter of fact, there had been tender look in his dark eyes most times. Perhaps that was why.

"Wine?"

"Hm?" Sam asked, jerked from her thoughts. "Oh, I don't know…"

He gave her a roguish grin and offered a half-full glass of red wine, "Come on, Sam. You know you want it."

She bit her lip, watching as he swirled the red liquid in the glass. "It's tempting."

"Just a little bit. Not like it would affect Ife if you'd, you know," he said, gesturing in the general direction of her breasts, "nursed her tonight."

"Thank you," she said, accepting the glass, their fingers brushing. She was still focusing on the feeling of his fingers when he returned with two plates of food and set them on the table. Her eyes widened at the amount of food, but it smelled so good. "Mary really went all out."

He nodded, a thoughtful look on his face, "Yeah, she even found my grandma's nice plates."

Sam couldn't see much of the plates with all the food on them, but she'd noticed the quality and fancy design earlier. They reminded her of the good tableware her mother used to cherish – she idly wondered if they were in Mark's possession now. "It's beautiful."

"Eat," Jack grunted, in between bites. "I can hear your stomach from here."

"Is that so?" She asked, smiling.

His gaze locked on hers and a smile played around his lips. "You betcha."

Sam took a bite, closing her eyes as the delicious food hit her taste buds, "Ohh, this is good."

"Very."

They ate in silence, catching the other's eye every now and then and Sam ducked her head when he grinned. She reached for her glass and took a sip. "The wine tastes good, too."

Jack followed her example, licking his lips as he set his glass down. "Mmhm."

She found it difficult to look away, breath hitching when his tongue peeked out. It could have been the wine or the intensity in his gaze but before she knew it her fingers were on his hand, where it rested at the foot of his glass. His hand was warm, the skin rough under her fingertips and she felt her heart skip a beat when he entwined his fingers with hers. Heat rushed through her body at the contact and she felt her cheeks burn.

"Sam," he said, his tone rough as he squeezed her hand, "we should probably call it a night. You've had a long day and you need your rest."

"I guess you're right." She felt the loss of his touch immediately.

Jack got to his feet and held out his hand, pulling her up from her seat. "Go on, I'll clean up here."

"I'll see you in the morning," she said.

"You betcha." Jack smiled and started clearing their plates, "Good night, Sam."


	13. Chapter 13

**O'Neill Cabin**   
**Silver Creek, MN**   
**December 15, 1999**

The morning after they had arrived at the cabin it started to snow and it hadn't stopped until late in the evening. Jack had suggested going for a little hike on his private land after breakfast to show them the area surrounding the cabin. Ife had almost run outside in her pajamas, eager to get some fresh air and explore – she wasn't used to being cooped up inside. If that hadn't been enough to convince Sam, the pleading look in her daughter's big blue eyes was.

They were on their way back to the cabin now, all bundled up. She was getting hungry and Ife seemed to have run out of energy, clinging to her and wanting to be carried earlier. Jack had taken over about fifteen minutes ago, despite his knee troubling him. Sam would have felt bad about it if it hadn't been for the matching grins on Jack and Ife's faces as he swung her around in the snow.

Sam bit her lip as she watched the two of them from a few feet away. She hadn't been sleeping well the past couple of days, nightmares plaguing her dreams since her argument with Jack over Ife's paternity and it left her tired, troubled and perhaps a bit emotional. Or maybe that was simply down to a guilty conscience. She'd had a perfectly good reason for keeping the truth from him at first, but the more time she spent with him the more she felt the guilt weighing her down.

He was a good father.

He didn't even know Ife was his and yet… Sam sighed and rubbed a cold hand over her face, suppressing a shiver. He'd confided in her about his late son and she knew he still felt responsible, but despite what he'd said, she could tell he'd been a good dad to Charlie. Maybe it was true that Jack was simply good with kids, but the way he treated Ife or looked at her spoke volumes…

"Sam?" He called out, turning back to her. "You coming?"

"Guess I'm not used to walking so much anymore," she said, as she caught up with him. It wasn't a total lie, because her leg muscles were actually cramping a bit and her feet still weren't used to the new boots.

Jack chuckled and gently tugged on her knitted cap to pull it down a bit. "You've just been cooped up in the house for too long. That's why you two coming up here with me seemed like a good idea."

She did her best to ignore the little flutter she felt at his gesture. "Yeah, well, maybe next time we can do a shorter hike."

"Sure can." He grinned and lifted Ife in his arms, "Might be best for the little munchkin, too."

Sam smiled when he pulled Ife closer against his chest and practically folded her into a giggling little fluff ball. She reached down to grab the girl's woolly hat when it fell and brushed off the snow, before pulling it back over her dark hair until only Ife's dark blue eyes were visible between the hat and her woolly scarf. "I think it's time for someone's nap."

Before Ife could protest as she'd become prone to do, Jack sighed dramatically. "Yes, a nap! I can't wait to snuggle into a blanket somewhere warm."

His remark elicited even more giggles from Ife.

Despite the cold temperature Sam felt herself melt a little bit when Jack ducked his head to blow a raspberry in Ife's neck, just under her scarf. "Okay," she said, clearing her throat, "let's keep going. The sooner we get back to the cabin, the sooner I can eat – and you can nap."

"Yes Ma'am," Jack said, eyes twinkling.

They continued to trudge through the snow, Jack favoring his knee as he carried Ife and Sam trailed a bit behind them. Her mind was going light-years a minute as she contemplated telling Jack the truth. It was clear he was crazy about Ife, even if he had admitted being unsure about having more kids, and Sam had been guaranteed that she and Ife would be safe from prosecution or medical experiments.

There were no reasons left to keep him in the dark.

Except, maybe, his reaction. The longer she kept it from him, the harder it became to tell him the truth. She got the feeling he was one of those people who held grudges and he'd probably be upset to find out she'd known he was Ife's father all along – perhaps rightfully so.

Jack bumped her shoulder with his and she nearly lost her balance, startled from her thoughts. "Whoa! Easy, Sam."

"Sorry," she said sheepishly, "I was just thinking."

He shifted Ife in his arms and looked at her, "Anything you wanna share with the class?"

Sam suppressed a shiver at the cold and rubbed her bare hands together, shaking her head. "No."

"You okay?"

"Just a little bit cold."

He covered her hands with his free hand. It was warm and callused. "Why didn't you put on some gloves?"

There had been an extra pair in the cabin, which was good since she'd forgotten to buy any – and her off-world mittens had disappeared when she went into quarantine. "They felt… restrictive."

"Oh." He entwined his fingers with hers, his grip strong and secure, before slipping it into his warm coat pocket. "Better?"

"Hmm, yes." She slipped her free hand in her own coat pocket and leaned into his body, enjoying his warmth.

Once they reached the cabin, she went straight to the fireplace to warm herself and Jack headed to the bedroom to put Ife to bed. A little while later, he entered the living room with a steaming mug in his hand and joined her by the fireplace.

She smiled gratefully when he handed her the mug – hot cocoa. "Thanks."

"Still cold?"

"Yeah, just give me a few more minutes," she said, stepping even closer to the fire.

Jack moved away but returned a few seconds later with an afghan. He must have felt her tense when he draped it over her shoulders because immediately stepped aside to stand next to her. "I didn't mean to startle you, sorry."

Sam had learned early on that Jack was rather tactile but also cautious about _how_ he touched her and when for which she was grateful – she suspected he held back on her account, too. But sometimes, it caught her off-guard and she couldn't check her body's reaction. It mostly happened when she didn't expect the touch or it reminded her of Klorel and, in this case, it was both. She forced herself to relax and pulled the blanket tighter around her with her free hand, pushing the memory of Klorel draping a robe around her to the dark place in her mind that stored all the bad things she'd experienced. "It's okay."

"So, um," Jack said, clearing his throat, "Ife practically fell asleep on the way to the bedroom."

"The hike wore her out."

He nodded, a small smile on his face. "Yeah, she finally got rid of that pent-up energy."

Sam knew what he meant. "The fresh air was good for her, too."

"For all of us and while I was kidding earlier, I'm pretty sure we could all use a nap now."

"Hmm, I'm exhausted."

He watched her as she took a sip of the hot cocoa, concern on his face. "You haven't been sleeping well."

She looked up at his statement, even though she knew he couldn't possibly know about her nightmares. "I'm fine. It's just the different surroundings, I guess."

"Right. Next thing you'll tell me it's the bed."

"Jack…"

He held up his hand to forestall her next words and leaned against the mantelpiece, facing her. "I understand if you don't want to talk about it. Just, don't lie to me, Sam."

She ducked her head and pretended to study the mug in her hands. "I didn't mean to. It's just-"

"It's personal," Jack said, interrupting her. "I get it. We all have nightmares. I don't think we can do the work we do or see what we see out there without it affecting us. Some more than others."

"Yeah."

He pried the mug from her and took a sip of the hot cocoa, before handing it back. "Why don't you go lie down on the sofa? Try and catch some shuteye. I'll whip up something for lunch."

"No, I'm good. Besides, I probably wouldn't fall asleep anyway if I know you're making lunch."

"Then at least curl up on the sofa to get warm. I can get you another blanket."

She shook her head and gently touched his forearm when he was about to move past her. "This is fine, thank you."

He watched her take a seat from his position against the mantelpiece. "You sure? It was pretty cold outside. Not like Colorado Springs and probably nothing like those balmy planets you and Bra'tac lived on."

"They weren't all balmy planets," she said, rolling her eyes.

"No?"

She smiled at his teasing and could feel herself relax in the pillows. "Nope. I think there may have been two or three cold ones. As a matter of fact, the planet Ife was born on was freezing cold."

The look in his eyes changed to something more serious. "Yeah?"

"It had snowed most of the day when she decided she wanted to get out," she said softly, a smile playing around her lips. The delivery had been hell, especially out there and on her own, but so worth it.

"Bra'tac couldn't have found you a nice sunny place?"

She snorted, shaking her head. "Hell, he thought I still had a month to go."

Jack had a thoughtful look on his face when he replied, "Right. The Doc mentioned something about it. That's why she thought Ife was born too early."

"Yeah…"

"But it all turned out all right," he said, after a beat.

Sam had expected something else from him. After spending so much time together, she'd gotten pretty good at reading him – when he let his guard down and didn't purposefully erect the blank mask to hide his thoughts. Maybe he was simply curious about the delivery but didn't want to pry. She'd only shared a few details with Doctor Fraiser, deciding the rest wasn't relevant to her and figured the woman had shared even less with Jack and General Hammond.

"What is it?" Jack asked softly, coming closer and taking a seat on the coffee table. "You can tell me, Sam."

His genuine concern only made her feel guiltier and she realized this was the perfect opportunity to tell him. It was time. Finally. She couldn't keep it from him any longer. "I-I, um, I don't think Ife was born prematurely."

He frowned and leaned forward, their knees only a few inches from each other. "Why?"

"Well, there weren't any complications."

"Fortunately."

She threw him a hesitant smile, her nerves back in full force. Back at his house, she'd used his computer and did some research on the internet – which had come a long way in the time she'd been off-world – when he was on duty. "I remember pretty much everything of the delivery."

He made a face, "Guess Bra'tac didn't have some neat Jaffa painkillers?"

"I read up on it," she said, ignoring his remark. "I think Bra'tac just miscalculated how far along I was because of all the different planets we stayed at."

"I guess that's possible. It's easy enough to get it wrong for someone who lives on Earth and doesn't have to deal with those pesky planet rotations. And then you'd have to pinpoint…"

Sam took a deep breath when he trailed off uncomfortably and decided to bite the bullet. "I didn't have to pinpoint-"

He touched her knee, an intense look in his eyes. "You don't have to tell me, Sam."

"I want to," she said, licking her lips nervously.

"Okay."

She looked down at where his hand lay on her knee and was tempted to cradle it between hers, but didn't want the rejection of him pulling away after she told him. "I know when Ife was conceived."

His fingers twitched but that was the only sign of how uncomfortable he was with the topic. "When you say know…"

"I mean I _know_."

"But the Doc said you'd been kept isolated after they captured you and that you lost the ability to keep track of tie," he said, frowning. "Unless… it happened after you escaped and you used the dates of SG-1's missions to narrow it down."

She knew he meant their mission to Apophis' ship and the few times they'd met up off-world, "I didn't have to, Jack."

His frown deepened and he sat back, creating more distance between them. "What do you mean?"

"I wasn't raped after I escaped the ship."

"Then… how?"

Biting her lip, Sam tried to steel herself for his reaction. "I was already pregnant."

He ran a hand through his hair, but the unruly silver mess only made him look more confused. "But you said it wasn't Skaara."

"Technically, I guess you could say I was already pregnant when his Jaffa found me…"

"What?"

"She's yours, Jack."

He evaded her hand when she reached for him and got to his feet, "What? That's not possible."

Sam stood up but he immediately took a step back when she tried to approach him. "That night in DC," she reminded him. "The torn condoms."

"I remember," he said calmly. Too calmly. "But that was almost two and a half years ago. What the hell are you playing at, Sam?"

"I'm not playing at anything," she said, confused. "It's the truth."

He simply stared at her, disbelief written on his face. "That's impossible! It would mean Ife was born in… late April last year. She'd be almost twenty months old!"

"You know she was undernourished and I wasn't exactly in the best shape during the pregnancy either. Doctor Fraiser herself said Ife was small for her age."

"When she thought she was fifteen months old!"

Sam flinched at his tone, but wasn't about to give up. _Carters aren't quitters_. "Yeah, well, guess what? She made a mistake. You've seen how much Ife has changed since we got settled on Earth; do you really think she behaves like a normal fifteen-month old?"

He opened his mouth to say something but then closed it again. There was a pensive look on his face as he thought about what she'd just said. "If that's the case, then why did you lie about it? Why let everyone believe Skaara-"

"Because it was safer," she said, interrupting him. "I swear, I wanted to tell you all along but I couldn't. Not right away."

"You knew? All this time?"

Sam nodded slowly, "Yeah."

He was clenching his jaw and the anger in his eyes flared up. "You let me believe… Damn it, Sam."

"She's yours, Jack. I swear. We could ask Doctor Fraiser to do a DNA test, if you want."

"Christ," he muttered, scrubbing a hand over his face. His eyes darted around the cabin, looking anywhere but at her. Finally, he sighed and pushed off the mantelpiece. "I'm gonna go out. I need some space, I'll be back later."

All Sam wanted to do was stop him, but she recognized the urge to be alone to think things through. So, she stepped aside and let him pass. Her gaze remained locked on her feet, unable to watch him leave.

* * *

Hours later, Jack parked the truck in front of the cabin and turned off the engine. The sun had already set and it was dark outside, but he could see some light coming from the living room. He briefly wondered if Sam and Ife had dinner yet before getting out of the truck. It was just a few steps to the front door but he was freezing by the time he closed it behind him and could absorb the warmth in the cabin.

It was quiet inside and for a moment he thought Sam had taken Ife and left, before shaking off the irrational fear; he'd taken the truck, after all. He still wasn't entirely sure what to think of the whole situation, but he did know he'd been the first to question Ife's light coloring and whether Skaara really was her biological father…

The light in the living room turned out to be on for no reason, as Sam and Ife were nowhere to be found. The cabin wasn't huge so it didn't take him long to check everywhere else until he located them in the master bedroom. Sam was out for the count, sprawled across the bed, but Ife was sitting up and appeared to be playing with Sam's braid.

"Dack!" Ife called out, dropping the braid and instead crawling towards him over the comforter.

Jack felt his heart ache at her enthusiasm over seeing him and before he realized it, he'd walked over and picked her up from her bed. "Hey there," he whispered, "let's not wake Mommy, okay?"

"'Kay."

Sam was still fast asleep, sprawled out, shirt twisted around her torso and some of her hair had escaped her braid and was sticking out. Despite the hours on his own, Jack had no idea what to think of what she'd said or how he felt about it. But he still felt the same thing he always did when he found her asleep like that, so he decided they could talk later and pulled the comforter up to her chin.

He exited the room with Ife on his hip before he accidentally woke Sam – no matter how he felt about her at the moment, he knew how little rest she'd gotten the past few days. "You hungry, munchkin?"

"Uh-uh."

"No?" He couldn't help but smile when Ife shook her head and laid it on his shoulder, her arms wrapping around his neck. "Guess you had a big lunch."

He figured Ife had enough of sleeping, so Jack took her to the living room and sat down at the floor on the blanket they'd designated her play area. She only clung to his shirt for a moment before her gaze fell on the few toys she had and her attention was diverted. He let her crawl from his lap and pick a toy, debating with himself whether to stay there or do… well, something else. Something useful, maybe. But he wasn't very hungry despite the morning hike and skipping lunch after Sam had dropped her little bomb, and he couldn't bring himself to ignore the toddler in front of him now that he knew there was a possibility she was his daughter.

Ife had a pensive look on her little face as she eyed the few toys she had and he watched as she grabbed the latest addition. The blocks used to belong to Charlie and had been gathering dust in what used to be the boy's bedroom, so when Jack came across them a few days ago he'd given them to Ife. Watching her play with them hurt a little, but in a good way.

She looked so small sitting there that he found it hard to believe she was twenty months old. At the same time, he'd been wondering why Ife didn't look anything like Skaara since he first laid eyes on her. Jack kept observing her, mentally comparing her to Charlie and searching for any resemblance. Then again, Charlie had started looking more and more like Sara as he grew older – the only time he'd been the spitting image of Jack had been as a baby.

Jack grabbed some of the colored blocks to Ife's left and scooted a bit closer, using them to start building something of his own. He smirked when the girl stopped and watched him, her eyes following the movements of his hands. "You want some of these?"

"Me," Ife said, holding out her hands.

"Yeah?" He asked, tickling her tummy with his free hand until she erupted into a fit of giggles. She looked like a young version of Sam, dimples and all, as she giggled. "How about we share, munchkin?"

She shook her head, "Uh-uh. Gimme."

He raised a brow in surprise, reminded of how he'd said something similar the other day – he'd forgotten how quickly kids adopted words they heard around him. "If we share, we can both play."

"Want that," she said in a plaintive tone, reaching for him.

Jack avoided her little hands and added another block to his structure, before grabbing a brightly colored one and offering it to her. He figured she was probably too young to understand the concept of sharing toys fully, but they had to start somewhere, right? "This one is for you, Ife."

She wordlessly grabbed it and, after a moment, added it to her collection, a small smile on her face.

"Now, this one is for me," he said, grabbing a new block.

"Mine."

He couldn't suppress a smile when she grabbed one he offered her and repeated the action, taking a block for himself before offering her another one.

Ife looked at him expectantly, grabbing the block as soon as he showed it to her.

Suddenly, he was struck by the smile tugging at the corner of her mouth as she admired the latest addition to her collection of blocks. It reminded him an awful lot of… himself. Sara used to call it his smug little smirk. He got to his feet and picked Ife up in one fell swoop, "Hold that thought, munchkin."

With her in his arms, he dashed over to the guest bathroom and stepped in front of the mirror, turning so that Ife was looking at it as well. He waved at their reflections when her little smirk threatened to make way for a confused look… and yep, there it was again. Jack focused on his own reflection and forced a smile. The first attempt looked more like a grimace but at the second try he couldn't miss the similarity to the smile tugging at Ife's lips.

"Guess there's no denying now, eh?"

Ife simply blinked at him.

He'd just taken her back to the living room, his mind going a mile a minute, when he heard the door to the master bedroom open and close.

"Ife?" Sam's voice rang out before she appeared from around the corner, all rumpled and sleepy.

"Hey."

Her eyes widened in surprise and ran a hand through her hair self-consciously, only succeeding in making it stick out more. "You're back."

He shrugged, "A little while ago."

"Oh."

"Did you… uh, get enough space?"

Jack sighed and glanced from her to Ife, who he was still holding. "She's got my smirk."

Sam's whole posture relaxed, "Your hair, too."

"Poor kid."

She snorted and shook her head, either in disbelief or disagreement. "So…" She said after a beat, watching him, "You believe me?"

The whole thing still confused him and he was hurt that she'd kept it from him, but he couldn't deny the resemblance now that he'd started looking for it. "I just don't understand why you didn't tell me."

"I-"

"You let me – and everyone else – believe she was Skaara's."

Wincing, Sam looked away for a moment. "I had my reasons."

Jack clenched his jaw, feeling his anger rise again. Slowly, he turned and set Ife down on her blanket. He didn't want to argue in front of the girl – _his_ girl – but he didn't feel comfortable leaving her on her own with a fireplace in the room, either. He was all too aware of how easily a child could hurt themselves… "That's it? You decided not to tell me because you had your reasons, even though you've known from the start that she was mine?"

"I couldn't risk anyone finding out."

"Why?"

She looked at him in disbelief. "Because the Goa'uld were intent on wiping out all life on Earth – and Apophis and Klorel especially wanted you dead. If they'd found out about Ife… they would have used her against you."

The two Goa'uld had been less than thrilled with him over fighting back and getting Teal'c to switch sides. "You could have told _me_ ," he said in a steely tone. "Not once did you mention her existence when we met up off-world. All you said was that you had 'responsibilities'."

"You'd have preferred me telling you that you had a daughter when I saved you from Hathor?"

"Afterwards, yeah. Or any of the other times we met up. You should have told me, Sam. Hell, it's been a month since you introduced us and you never said anything."

Sam seemed to deflate a bit, her shoulders sagging. "To be honest, I didn't know if you'd believe me," she said, softly. "Back when we were off-world, my priority was keeping Ife safe and that meant hiding her."

Jack sighed and scrubbed a hand over his face. He'd been furious when she told him that morning but he knew he had to keep his feelings in check. The fact that she'd lied to him, especially after he'd confided in her about Charlie, hurt. It had crossed his mind that perhaps she hadn't told him _because_ of what happened to Charlie, but after taking off he'd thought about it some more and didn't think that was the case. He just couldn't understand why she'd lied for so long and finally decided to tell the truth. "And that meant hiding her from me, too? You gave us a lock of your hair, so don't give me that crap about not believing you – you're a scientist and you're obviously aware of DNA testing."

"We had a one-night stand over a year ago, Jack," she said. "We barely knew each other. I had no idea how you felt about kids and even if you'd believed me and been happy about it, it could have made you reckless in your pursuit of Grieves and the people he worked for. I didn't want you to take unnecessary risks to get Ife to Earth as soon as possible."

"So you made the choice for me."

There was a stubborn glint in her eyes when she lifted her chin. "She was my responsibility."

He threw up his hands, "That's exactly my point! She's _our_ daughter, so she's our responsibility!"

"Look," Sam said in a calm tone, "I understand you're upset, but I had a choice to make back then and I chose to keep Ife safe."

"But you still waited a month to tell me," he said, working his jaw. "You've both been living with me this whole time and you let me believe that she was Skaara's or, worse, that you'd been raped after you escaped the Goa'uld. Would you even have told me if I hadn't questioned whether Ife was _harsesis_?"

She reached out and put a hand on his arm, her blue gaze holding his. "I wanted to tell you all along, Jack. I guess I was waiting for the right time."

He couldn't hide the skepticism in his voice when he replied, "And today was the right time?"

"I would have preferred a different way to tell you, but I didn't want to keep it from you any longer. You're so good with her and she's really fond of you, too."

"You should have told me the truth after the quarantine was lifted. Christ Sam, she's my daughter!"

Sam started pacing in front of the fireplace with a pensive expression on her face and he could feel himself calm down a bit as she tried to find a way to explain herself. "I knew about Amaunet's pregnancy and Daniel told me about how he helped his wife during the delivery. If I'd told the truth about Ife from the start then people would have known that meant I was in control of Herit during the pregnancy."

It took Jack a moment to realize what she was saying and suddenly some of his question were answered. "So, basically, that you'd been in control all along, even when the Goa'uld were about to attack Earth."

"Yeah."

"That was why you wanted a guarantee that you wouldn't be charged with anything," he said as realization dawned on him. Collaborating with the enemy, sharing intel with aliens, treason – the list went on. "It wasn't about Grieves and his accusations about you and the stolen technology we'd already retrieved from the Rogue NID."

She shrugged, neither confirming or denying. "I knew you wouldn't say a word if I had told you everything, but I didn't want you to feel trapped either."

"What are you talking about?"

"Like I said, we didn't know each other very well, but you had proven to be honorable and loyal. I figured you'd offer to do the 'right thing' if you knew about Ife."

For someone who didn't know him very well she certainly had him pegged. "I wouldn't force anything on you, Sam. But yeah, I would have insisted on being a part of Ife's life."

"And you are."

"But not as her dad," he argued.

Her expression was unreadable when she looked from him to her – _their_ – daughter and back, a small smile playing at her lips. "You've been more involved with her than I'd expected when I accepted your offer to stay at your place," she admitted. "Maybe you weren't officially her dad but you were the closest thing to a father she's ever had."

As much as that meant to him, it was different. "It's not the same."

"I know." She looked down at her hands, which she was nervously wringing. "I swear I wanted to tell you the truth. I figured I'd get to know you a little bit better and find out if you even liked kids, but then you told me about Charlie and I knew I couldn't just dump it all on you. It would have felt like I was trying to replace him. So, I waited… and the longer I waited, the harder it was to tell you."

"I guess that makes sense." Jack turned and ran a hand through his hair, trying to process everything. He could understand some of her reasoning, but not all of it. Her keeping such a big secret from him didn't feel right. But she _had_ told him. Considering the circumstances, she was still taking a big risk even now – and she didn't have to. She could have just claimed someone other than him or Skaara was Ife's father. Instead, Sam told him the truth and gave him a second chance at fatherhood. A daughter. A little girl who already had a place in his heart.

"Jack?"

He looked at her and sighed, "Look, I'm not happy you kept this from me for so long, but I'm not mad either."

Sam appeared surprised. "You're not?"

"It's a lot to take in, but you clearly gave it a lot of thought before you came to a decision. You were out there, off-world, and had to fend for yourself with little hope of returning home. How could I blame you for choosing to keep our daughter safe? I just wish you'd told me earlier, but you had your reasons."

"You have no idea how much that means to me," she said, clearly relieved. "Thank you."

Jack glanced at an oblivious Ife and smiled as he watched her play. She was his child. He had a daughter. With Sam. Somehow, he'd been given a second chance to be a dad and he wasn't going to mess it up this time. "She's our little girl, Sam."

Sam touched his hand cautiously, until he caught it in his. Their fingers entwined as they looked to Ife. "Yes, she is."


	14. Chapter 14

**O'Neill Cabin**   
**Silver Creek, MN**   
**December 20, 1999**

Sam got out of the bathroom and picked a sweater from Jack's wardrobe. There was something comforting about wearing his clothes. Most of her own weren't soft from wear yet and they smelled like stores, one of the few things she hadn't missed during her time off-world. Jack's clothes, on the other hand, were comfy and best of all, smelled like him. Homey and safe.

Dropping her towel, she put on the underwear, top and thermal leggings she'd laid out earlier and slipped the extra-large USAF sweater over her head. The sweater was warm, soft and reached mid-thigh. She took the towel back to the bathroom and hung it out to dry, before going back to the bed and slipping on a pair of woolly socks.

Jack had taken her and Ife into town earlier that day to get supplies. Afterwards, Ife had gone down for a nap and the two of them had talked some more about everything. Telling him the truth about Ife's paternity had been strangely liberating for her, but it didn't come without its own issues. Fortunately, Jack seemed willing to talk and he genuinely tried to be understanding about it, which was more than she could have hoped for.

She tidied up the bedroom before checking the kitchen. Jack had told her to go enjoy a shower while he made dinner and it looked like there was a roast in the oven. Impressed, she headed for the living room to inquire how long it would be before supper was ready. There, she found Jack stretched out over the sofa, his poor feet hanging over the edge and Ife was snuggled up on his chest.

Both of them napping.

Smiling, she retrieved an afghan and walked over to the soda to cover the pair. She leaned over to tuck them in and was surprised to find Jack watching her, his dark gaze intent. "Oh," she said softly, "I thought you were asleep."

"Hey," he whispered, before looking down at a sleeping Ife and smiling. "Guess we nodded off."

"Guess so."

Jack shifted on the sofa and, wrapping one arm securely around Ife, got up into a sitting position and pulled a book from under the afghan with his free hand. "We were reading."

Sam smiled as their daughter simply clutched his shirt in response to the change in position and continued sleeping. The book he showed was one she hadn't seen before. "New book?"

"It was Charlie's, I found it in his, um," he cleared his throat, a pained expression on his face. "In the spare bedroom."

"Oh."

He shrugged as if to dismiss what it meant and turned to place his feet on the coffee table and make room for her on the sofa. "So, um, dinner won't be ready for about two hours. Take a seat, let's watch some TV. Maybe there's a Christmas movie on or something."

Sam let him change the subject and sat down at the spot he indicated, slipping under the blanket, tucking her feet under her and moving the blanket around until it covered both of them. "You want to watch a Christmas movie."

"Ife's never seen one."

"Ife's asleep," she pointed out, glancing at the toddler against his chest.

He had a boyish grin on his face when he looked at her, "She might wake up. Tis the season, Sam."

She rolled her eyes, before giving in. It had been years since she'd taken the time to watch one, never mind actually celebrating Christmas. "Fine. Let's see if there's a Christmas movie on."

"Cool."

"What are you doing?"

Jack shifted and one of his hands started fumbling for something underneath the blanket, making her jerk her feet away when he brushed past them. "Searching for the remote," he muttered. Making a satisfied noise, he pulled back and showed the device to her. Then, he looked at her curiously. "Are your feet ticklish?"

Biting her lip, she shook her head. They weren't, not really. She'd never been particularly ticklish and her feet even less so. But his touch had been unexpected and lately his closeness and physical contact with him had made her body hum with a pleasant buzz. "No," she said softly, "too many calluses on the soles of my feet."

"Then what's with the," he made a vague gesture at her feet, "wiggling? Or is it just the soles of your feet that aren't ticklish?"

Heat shot through her body when he slowly dragged a finger over her instep, despite the thick woolly socks separating his finger from her skin. She'd never been very vain but considering the state of her feet after her time off-world, she was grateful for the socks. Shyly, she shifted to tuck her feet under herself on her other side. "I thought we were going to watch a movie."

Jack cleared his throat and glanced away, nodding slowly. "Right."

It didn't take him long to find a Christmas movie and soon they were quietly watching the television. After the first commercial break, he slipped his arm around her shoulders and gently nudged her closer without looking away from the TV.

There was no harm in leaning against him and Sam let out a sigh of contentment as the heat of his body seeped into hers. She laid her cheek on his shoulder and smiled when she realized they would have looked like a regular family to an outsider, with the two of them snuggled up while Ife slept in Jack's lap.

As if on cue, Ife yawned and pushed against Jack's chest in what was probably an attempt to get more comfortable. He made sure she didn't fall off his lap with his free arm around her, but started shifting in his seat.

"Want me to take her?"

"No, it's fine," he said.

Sam stroked Ife's hair as the girl rubbed her cheek against his sweater, before looking up into Jack's dark eyes. "Are you sure? She must be getting heavy now."

He snorted and shook his head, "Trust me, she doesn't weigh that much. I'm good, Sam."

"Okay." She heard the words he left unsaid as he nuzzled Ife's hair; he'd already missed out on so much with her. Sam hadn't failed to notice how he'd gotten even more involved with Ife after she told him the truth. He obviously thought he had a lot of catching up to do, playing with Ife, holding her, reading to her, tucking her in, having breakfast with her before Sam was even up… Sam knew why he did it and wouldn't do anything to keep him from being a father to their daughter, but she was starting to feel left out herself. The only time she got to spend with Ife was in bed or when she took her with her in the shower.

"Unless you want her?" He asked, as if reading her mind.

Sam patted his hand where it rested on Ife's back and smiled at him. They looked so at ease together that she couldn't bring herself to take the girl from his arms. "No, she looks comfortable with you. You're a good dad, Jack."

A haunted expression flashed over his face before he turned away, focusing on Ife and watching her sleep. When he glanced up again, the corner of his mouth lifted upwards but the look in his eyes still spoke of his insecurity, "Yeah?"

His vulnerability got to her and she squeezed his hand, snuggling closer to him. "The best."

Jack didn't say anything, merely tightening his arm around her.

At some point, she must have nodded off because when she opened her eyes the TV was muted and Jack looked down at her, eyes twinkling with mirth.

"Hey there, sleepyhead."

She tried to blink the sleep away and sat up, wincing at a crick in her neck. "Where's Ife?"

"Look who's awake, munchkin?" Jack called out, looking beyond her.

"Momma!"

Sam smiled at Ife who'd been playing with blocks in her little corner on the other side of the room. "Hey sweetie."

Jack chuckled when their daughter came running and climbed her lap, nearly pulling the blanket off them. He waited until Ife had snuggled into Sam before raising a brow. "Are you wearing my USAF sweater? Or is that yours?"

"All my stuff is gone," she reminded him, fighting a blush.

"Your brother didn't keep anything of yours that he got from your dad?"

Sam frowned and shook her head a little. "No. Mark said Dad had apparently been rather sentimental about it and kept all of my things boxed up."

"You were his daughter," Jack said softly.

"I know, it's just not like Dad to be so sentimental. He's military through and through. Anyway, Mark donated everything to charity." She glanced up at him from under her lashes, "Sorry about stealing your clothes. They're just more comfortable than the ones I bought."

He waved away the apology with a dismissive sound. Then, he gave her a onceover and tugged on her sleeve, "Looks better on you anyway." Smirking, he got up and headed for the kitchen. "Gonna check on the roast."

Sam rolled her eyes at his predictable comment and instead focused on Ife, asking her about the Christmas movie and her blocks.

Jack returned a few minutes later and watched her as they chatted. He didn't speak until Ife had decided she'd had enough and toddled off to her toys. "Have you thought about what you're going to do when your leave is up?"

"Not yet," she admitted, biting her lip. It wouldn't be much longer until her medical leave was up and she'd be deemed physically fit for duty, albeit light. The past couple of weeks she'd gained more weight, felt stronger and the nightmares had lessened as well – and aside from a few bad reactions to the food they'd had up here, she'd managed to eat more too. She was pretty sure General Hammond would pull some strings if she wasn't ready yet or maybe she could take some of the leave she'd accumulated while off-world considering the Air Force's cover story about her ordeal as they'd called it.

"That day will come soon, Sam."

He was right of course, but she had no idea what she wanted. She hadn't returned to the SGC since the quarantine and the thought of doing so made her stomach turn. There was more to the Air Force than the SGC. She was well aware of that fact, but after learning about the stargate she'd changed her whole career path to get to it – and go through it – instead of focusing on NASA. And what had it brought her? Ife was the only good thing to have come of it and she probably still would have been born if Sam had remained on Earth. She, Ife and Jack could have been a family from the start, if she'd had the guts to find Jack after finding out about the pregnancy…

Jack sat down next to her, reclaiming his spot on the sofa. "I'm not saying you have to make a decision right now, but I think it's a good idea to think about what you want. Hammond and the brass are more than willing to accommodate you in some capacity at the SGC or maybe the Xenophysics Department if you want. But there are other options too. Both in and outside of the Air Force."

"I know," she said, sighing. "I think I'd rather focus on this," she made a vague gesture, "all right now. Maybe after the holidays."

"Okay, I can work with that." He smiled at her, before turning pensive again. "What about your brother? Have you decided whether you want to take him up on his invitation?"

It took her a moment to realize he meant Mark's offer to spend Christmas with his family. "I don't think I'm ready to fly to San Diego yet and it's probably too last minute for them to come to Colorado Springs. I probably should have called him, though."

He shrugged, squeezing her knee. "I'm sure he'll understand."

"When were you planning on going back?"

"Actually, I thought maybe we could spend Christmas here."

Sam nodded slowly, trying to recall what he'd told her about the holidays a few weeks ago. "And your team and the Fraisers?"

Jack cleared his throat awkwardly before speaking, "Well, actually, um… I thought it could just be the three of us. Daniel wanted to go to Abydos anyway and Teal'c said he'd go spend time with his wife and son. The Doc always hosts a Christmas bash for the SGC staff but she won't mind us not showing up."

"I guess we could," she said softly. The idea appealed to her far more than it probably should, but she knew she wasn't ready to leave the comfort of the cabin yet and it _was_ Ife's first real Christmas, after all. What better way to spend it than just the three of them, closed off from most of the outside world.

"Yeah?"

Smiling, she wondered if there were any Christmas decorations in the cabin. A tree wouldn't be hard to find, but some lights and ornaments would be nice. "Sure, we can stay. Besides, you did mention introducing me to Mary and Joe."

"I did," he said, chuckling. "Think you're up for having dinner with them? I'd have to check but I'm pretty sure they'd make time to meet you and Ife."

"I'd like that." Spending time with strangers wasn't her idea of fun but these people obviously meant a lot to Jack and it couldn't be worse than the Thanksgiving dinner, right?

* * *

**O'Neill Cabin**   
**Silver Creek, MN**   
**December 25, 1999**

The sight of a Christmas tree was one Jack hadn't expected to see in his cabin, except in old photographs. But there it was, all seven feet of it. After Charlie died, the appeal of the holiday had been lost on him. Sure, he'd celebrated it the past few years with his teammates or at Fraiser's Christmas party, but up until yesterday he hadn't gone out to get his own tree.

He stretched out his legs from his place on the rug and admired Sam's handiwork. The decision to stay at the cabin for the holiday had been made pretty late, but they'd decided to make it a proper Christmas – tree and all.

"The tree looks good," he said, when she reentered the living room with Ife on her hip.

Sam flashed him a proud smile, before putting their daughter on her feet. "The decorations you still had here came in handy, as well as the spare ones Mary and Joe gave us."

Last night, they'd had dinner with Mary and Joe and they'd immediately handed them a box of ornaments and lights after hearing of their change of plans. "Would have been a bare tree without them."

"Pretty." Ife stood in front of the tree, just a foot or so away from Jack and reaching for the lights with her little hands.

"You like that, munchkin?" He knew she did, her oohing and awing earlier when they turned on the lights was the reason he was sitting on the floor. She'd been fascinated by the sight and promptly sat down in front of the tree, so Jack had pulled some pillows from the sofa to make them more comfortable and joined his daughter.

Ife nodded solemnly, not taking her eyes off the tree. "Shiny."

Sam crossed the room and sat down next to him. Her smile had turned into one of warmth and love as she watched their little girl. "She really likes that tree."

"All kids do," Jack said, before she'd start blaming herself for not having gotten Ife a Christmas tree before. "Wouldn't be surprised if she falls asleep under it tonight."

"Hmm, you're cold," Sam said, touching his hand where it rested on her knee. "Did you go outside?"

He nodded and retrieved the wrapped package he'd gotten from the truck. "I got you this… I know we said no presents-"

"Because we didn't have time to go shopping," she finished for him, eyeing the box he held out.

"Yeah," he said. "But I bought this earlier it was still in the truck's glove compartment."

Sam's face lit up when she took the box, weighing it in her hands before finding the tape that held its wrapping together. "What is it?"

He chuckled, "You've got to unwrap it to find out."

A small frown appeared on her forehead when she uncovered the plain black box. She gasped when she opened it and saw the contents. After exchanging a disbelieving glance with him, she retrieved the ornament he'd ordered.

It was a delicate, clear bauble with Ife's name etched on it and some pretty filigree stuff inside. It had reminded him of how fragile yet tough Ife was. "I know they usually get kids those before their first birthday but-"

"It's perfect," Sam murmured, holding the ornament up in the light to admire it. "It's her first Christmas. Thank you, Jack."

He shrugged it off, "Think nothing of it."

She shot him a reproving look. "I really doubt they had baubles with the name Ife lying on the shelves."

"Well, no, but I figured she should have an ornament." He'd picked out the design himself, wanting something custom made rather than off the shelf.

"You bought this in Colorado Springs?" Sam asked after a moment of admiring the bauble.

"Yeah, why?"

A blinding smile appeared on her face before she hugged him, seemingly surprising herself because a second later she'd pulled back. "You got this for her before you knew she was yours."

Jack gently squeezed her hand, "I knew she was yours. That was all I needed to know."

"You have no idea how much that means to me."

"I figured she was gonna be a pretty important part of my life because of you." He wasn't very good at talking about feelings and to be honest, he had no idea of what he and Sam were, exactly, just that there was something he wanted to explore. Something that could become… more. "Father or not, I want both of you in my life, Sam."

She bit her lip and looked down at where she cradled the ornament in her hands. "I-I think… I want that, too."

Jack had figured out early on that touching her unexpectedly wasn't a good idea, so he slowly lifted his hand to her shoulder to wrap his arm around her and giving her the chance to move away – she didn't. "There's no rush. Whenever you're ready."

A comfortable silence descended upon them as she leaned into him, her cheek resting on his shoulder. Ife was lying under the Christmas tree a few feet away, tracing invisible patterns between the lights with her fingers.

He was just thinking it was a nice family moment when Ife dropped her hand and rolled to her feet, her brows knitted together as she looked at them.

"Hungry."

Jack made a face, reminded of when she'd tossed her cookies just an hour ago – and last night and a little after breakfast. He suspected some of the food or snacks they'd had at Mary and Joe's was responsible for her upset tummy, as she still couldn't handle every Earth food well. "Sam?"

She pressed her face against his shoulder, smothering a laugh. No doubt thinking the same thing and not in the mood to clean up vomit or bathing Ife again. "Give me a minute and then I'll feed her."

"Hear that, munchkin?" He asked after Sam got up and headed for the bedroom. "C'mere."

Ife toddled over with a smirk on her face. The resemblance to his own smirk was eerie and he briefly wondered why he hadn't noticed before. Had anyone else? "Wanna cuddle."

"One cuddle, coming right up," he said, before wrapping his arms around her and pulling her into his lap.

They sat like that for a few minutes until Sam came back into the room and headed straight for the tree. She found a spot to put up Ife's ornament and fiddled with it. When she stepped back to get a better look at it, he noticed there were two baubles; Ife's and Charlie's, the latter which had been in the box of old Christmas ornaments. "I hope you don't mind, but I felt like he should be included."

Jack didn't say anything but when she retook her spot next to him, he gently touched her forearm. "Thank you."

Ife was watching them with her big eyes and started crawling over to Sam's lap when she noticed the towel slung strategically over her shoulder. "Hungry."

"Impatient," Sam muttered as she adjusted her clothes to feed their daughter the old fashioned way. "I wonder who she gets that from?"

"Me too," Jack said, tearing his eyes from her uncovered breast. He caught her gaze and shrugged, smirking. "Think this'll help?"

She grimaced when Ife latched on but looked at him over the girl's head. "I've been weaning her off since we got back, but breastmilk is what her stomach is used to. It probably has the best chance of not coming up again, but there are no guarantees."

He watched them as Ife greedily suckled and Sam absentmindedly petted her hair, itching to get closer and share in their moment but refraining from doing so – he'd told her it was up to her, after all. He remembered how special being part of that bonding had felt when Sara had nursed Charlie and he wanted to experience it again, having lost out on so much time with his daughter already.

A hesitant hand just above his knee jerked him from his thoughts and he was surprised to find Sam initiating contact. He covered her hand with his and squeezed it before she could change her mind, trying to convey his feelings through his eyes as they found hers. There was a smile on her face that he wasn't sure how to interpret, but then she shifted, pulled his arm around her waist and leaned into his chest.

The position wasn't entirely comfortable but having her this close was enough for Jack. He tightened his arm around her, keeping her secure against his chest.

"This is nice," she said, softly.

Jack rested his chin on her shoulder, deciding against nuzzling her neck despite how inviting it looked – he didn't want to move too fast and scare her off. Besides, this way he could watch their daughter, too. "Best Christmas I've had in years."


	15. Chapter 15

**O'Neill residence**   
**Colorado Springs, CO**   
**December 28, 1999**

They had arrived back home about an hour ago and when they'd stopped at the grocery store, Sam had begged off and stayed in the car with Ife. It hadn't taken Jack long and when they finally got home, he carried their bags and the groceries inside while Sam put their little girl to bed for a nap.

"Laundry is in the washer," he said, after returning from the laundry room.

Sam looked up from where she was putting the groceries away. "Good. There was a message from Daniel for you on the answering machine."

Jack figured Daniel either wanted to know when their next mission was or if he could take more leave to spend on Abydos – he'd been due to return on the weekend. Either way, it could wait. "I'll call him back later."

"Mark also left a message, to thank me for the presents I sent and to wish me a merry Christmas," she said, after a beat.

"That's good, right?"

Sam nodded slowly, handing him the two boxes of Fruit Loops he'd bought to put away. "Yeah, it's just… strange. He sounded different on the machine."

He shrugged, "Well, he's probably unsure of how to deal with your, um, return."

"I know." She paused, an unfocused look in her eyes. "The whole situation is weird. I missed out on so much. He and Dad made up after years of not speaking and they grew pretty close from what Mark told me over the phone."

"Your dad knew he was dying and wanted to mend fences."

Sam made a noncommittal sound before shaking her head mirthlessly, "I bought presents for the nephew I've never met. Poor kid probably didn't even know of my existence."

Jack recalled Jacob mentioning his grandson was born a few months after Sam had escaped the Goa'uld, but that was pretty much all he knew about the kid. Or the rest of Mark's family. "You can fly out there to see them when you're ready."

"I know, it's just… so much has happened while I was gone. It's hard."

"It's got to be pretty tough learning people's lives continued and they moved on," he said, having experienced something similar after his time in Iraq. "You were gone for almost two and a half years."

"It's not that I expected or wanted everyone to put their lives on hold while I was off-world, but it's just… strange," Sam concluded, reiterating her earlier words.

He got the feeling there was more to it than her brother having a kid and her dad dying, but he recognized her desire to change the subject. "Were there any other messages?"

She gave him an indecipherable look, "Were you expecting more?"

"I figured Teal'c might have called. He should have gotten back by now, even if he did swing by the Jaffa Rebellion's headquarters as he suggested."

"I wonder how they're doing."

Jack raised an eyebrow, "Bra'tac?"

"And the others."

He vaguely recalled hearing about another Jaffa or two that she'd befriended and wondered if she missed them. "I'm sure Teal'c can tell us more about them when he gets back."

"Does Teal'c live nearby?"

"Um, on base, actually."

She frowned, "Why?"

That was a discussion he'd had with Hammond a couple of times already but he probably shouldn't tell her that. "The brass don't feel comfortable letting him get a place of his own."

"Because he's from off-world?"

"No, because he's an alien that looks, thinks, acts and talks like an alien most of the time," Jack said, suspecting her fears and wanting to alleviate them. "He'd stick out like a sore thumb from his behavior alone, never mind that gold tattoo on his forehead."

That seemed to have reassured her somewhat. "But he's allowed to go off base?"

Jack shrugged, "Most of the time, but if he goes out in public he has to be accompanied by someone from the SGC. That's usually someone from SG-1 or Fraiser or Catherine."

"Does he visit here often?"

"Sometimes. We used to have team nights every now and then and he'd stay over, hence all the candles Teal'c left here."

"Right."

He had an idea of why she'd started asking all these questions about T and sighed, "You can call Teal'c any time you'd like and invite him over, Sam. You wouldn't have to go to the SGC to talk to him. Discussing classified information isn't allowed in public, but the house is secure."

She was biting her lip and fiddling with something in her hands when she looked up at him from under her lashes. "General Hammond left a voicemail. For me. He wants to meet."

"You could always ask him to come here," Jack said. Her behavior and questions suddenly made sense. She'd been so relieved to leave the mountain after her quarantine and expressed a desire to stay the hell away from it. The place had been like a second home to him despite some of the stuff that had happened to him there so he felt differently about it, but her distaste made sense in light of what had happened to her there – two years ago and her recent quarantine. Surely Hammond would understand.

"Maybe," she said, shrugging. "But I think he wants to discuss my options or maybe debrief me further, for neither of which the living room is professional or appropriate."

She was right, of course. Her medical leave was coming to an end and a decision had to be made, but she hadn't expressed a desire to stay in the Air Force or work at the SGC in whichever capacity.

He felt a bit apprehensive about the choice she might make.

Before, she'd mentioned getting her own place and implied not sticking around Colorado Springs. Maybe she wanted to be closer to her brother, her only sibling. That was before she'd made the confession about Ife's paternity, but they still hadn't discussed what she might do in the future.

Jack liked to think this thing between them could be explored more fully when she was ready, but he had no idea how long that would take or if she'd still be interested in it when the time was right for her. Sure, she'd initiated contact between them on Christmas and let him share her bonding moment with Ife while breastfeeding. It was a good sign but no declaration of love or even intention. For all they knew, she'd never be ready for real intimacy, a romantic relationship, in spite of how well she seemed to be coping right now.

"Then I guess you need to decide whether you're ready to return to the SGC and decide what you want to do career-wise," he said in as neutral a tone he could muster.

"Those two aren't mutually exclusive," Sam said pensively.

He shrugged but silently wondered how much thought she'd given her – their – future, "You've got options."

Frowning, she stared at the countertop. "It seems like all I have are options. How do I decide?"

"Depends on what you want to do."

"I don't know if I want to stay in the Air Force or even work at the SGC, in whatever capacity."

Jack placed his elbows on the counter, his hands just inches away from hers, and looked up at her. "So, if not the Air Force and not the SGC… then what would you do?"

She copied his position, holding his gaze. "I don't know."

"Work in the private sector?" He chuckled when she made a face and gently bumped her fingers with his. "I've seen your record, Sam. You're an astrophysicist and a good officer with the potential for a hell of a lot more than a mere captain."

"I _was_ all that. I'm not sure I am anymore," she said softly.

He stroked the back of her hand with his thumb, "You are."

A look of disbelief crossed her face but she didn't pull away. "I haven't felt like a captain in the Air Force in more than two years."

"And during all that time, you found a way to survive," he reminded her. "Hell, you even saved Earth from Apophis and me from Hathor. And to top it all off, you started a Jaffa Rebellion. Are you telling me your instincts and training as an officer played no part in that?"

"I guess that's true," she said slowly, frowning. "I hadn't thought of it like that."

Jack raised a brow, "You're a lot stronger than you're giving yourself credit for, Sam."

She shook her head and looked away, "It's not that. It's… I don't know."

"You've been gone for a long time, it's only natural to have doubts. Maybe you need more time to think this through."

"It shouldn't be this hard," she sighed. "It's the Air Force, either at the SGC or elsewhere. Or I go at it as a civilian."

"Either at the SGC or elsewhere," he added. "There are definitely more opportunities as a civilian for someone with your qualifications, even if you don't want to go into the private sector."

"But I have no idea what kind of job I'd want."

Jack gave a one-shouldered shrug as he entwined their fingers together. "Well, you wouldn't have to get a job right away. You've got Ife and you two can stay here for as long as you want, so you don't have worry about money."

She gave him a small smile and squeezed his fingers, "And I'll probably receive my back pay soon, too. But I don't think I could be a stay-at-home mother."

"You'd get bored," he said. She'd started a Jaffa Rebellion while on the run, after all.

"Ever since I was little, all I wanted was to become an astronaut."

"That why you enrolled, to make it easier to get into NASA?"

Sam nodded, a far-away look in her eyes. "That was the plan, until I got assigned to Project Giza and then the Xenophysics Department at the Pentagon."

"And then you requested reassignment to the SGC."

She chuckled mirthlessly, "Yeah and look where that got me."

Jack understood the sentiment but he also knew the chances of coming back alive from a mishap with a man-made spacecraft or space station weren't very good either. Besides, if she hadn't been working at the Xenophysics Department then they probably never would have met that day in Washington, DC and Ife never would have been born. "Why did you want to go to the SGC?"

"Because of the stargate."

"You wanted to see it in action?"

She straightened up and released his hand, moving to the last bag of groceries. "They called me the resident expert of the stargate at the Pentagon, even though I'd never even been in the same room with the gate. So, yeah, I wanted to see it in action. I wanted to travel through it."

He watched as she unpacked more things, trying to recall the details about the requests he'd read in her file. "Be on an SG team?"

"SG-1 was my dream job," she admitted, smiling. "But I would have been happy with any of the thirty-six spots, regardless of which team it was."

"Traveling to other planets, the adventures, being on the front lines, the thrill and excitement…"

She carefully placed a carton of eggs on the counter and quickly checked the contents to make sure everything was intact. "The endless possibilities, the physics behind it all and knowledge we could gather," she added.

Jack smiled at the way her eyes lit up as she spoke. He was glad she was still capable of feeling such excitement after everything she'd gone through. "So, do those reasons still apply?"

"I'm not sure."

"I'd understand if the traveling, adventures and being on the front lines of a galactic war lost their appeal after what happened on your mission and with the Goa'uld, but I don't think anyone would expect you to return to an off-world team."

She'd turned her back to him to put some of the groceries in the fridge but he noticed how her shoulders tensed. "It is a possibility," she said.

He'd thought about what would happen once she returned to Earth – before he'd known about Ife – and of course he'd discussed it with Hammond more recently, so he had a pretty good idea of the possibilities for her within the SGC. An assignment to an SG team was highly unlikely. Going off-world on occasion was a possibility though, depending on whose expertise was needed. "The screening process for off-world teams is different from the first year of the Program. More thorough and complex. Besides, there aren't even any openings right now."

"I guess I wouldn't pass the test these days," she said, looking down.

"Would you want to?"

Sam turned to face him and shrugged, "I don't know. I think I've seen enough planets for now."

He handed her a carton of milk from the counter and waited until she'd put it away before he spoke, "Nothing wrong with that. There's still all the science-y stuff at the lab though."

"Science-y stuff?"

"Yeah," he smirked at her puzzled look, "in the labs. There are a couple at the SGC's Science Department for doohickeys, gadgets, doodads, gizmos and as yet unidentified off-world crap. To study and retro-engineer, if at all possible. The bigger stuff goes to Area 51, along with the shelved tech and stuff of low priority."

She nodded pensively, "Oh."

Shrugging, Jack grabbed the empty grocery bag and put it away. "You know, in case you want to work at the Science Department."

"As a civilian?"

"Or an officer. Both work there and both are possible for you. But you could always become a civilian later on."

Her blue eyes found his dark ones and it looked like she was gauging him, "You think I should stay in the Air Force?"

Jack hadn't actually made up his mind yet, but then it wasn't really his choice to make. "I think you should do what you think is best. But perhaps you shouldn't rush your decision. I wasn't kidding about the career you could have in the Air Force."

"Even after all of this?"

"With some time," he said, leaving the healing part out for now, "yeah. If you want. And at the SGC you could use some of your knowledge to help us against the war with the Goa'uld, even from behind the scenes."

She nodded once and then moved to the other side of the kitchen, seemingly dropping the subject for now. Without a word, she started to make coffee. The intense look on her face told him her mind was still going over her options though. Once the machine beeped she grabbed two cups, poured coffee in both and brought him one. "If I stayed in the Air Force and worked at the SGC, we'd be in same chain of command."

Taken aback by her statement and what it implied, Jack took a sip of coffee before he replied. "Yeah, but we could probably find a way around that… if you want."

"You're General Hammond's second in command," she said, as if reminding him.

"But it's not like you'd be on my team or under my direct command if you were part of the geek squad."

The corners of her mouth tilted upwards in a soft smile. "What about Ife?"

He frowned, unsure of what she meant. "Um, daycare? There are other people who have kids at the SGC."

"I meant what would happen if we told General Hammond that she's yours? You know him better than I do," she added.

Jack had actually thought about the implications for Sam if that truth came to light. She _had_ lied about certain aspects of her life off-world, after all. In her debriefing. One of the reasons she hadn't told him right away was the possibility of treason charges for her, if it became known that she had been in control of her body while hosting Herit during Apophis' attack on Earth. "Maybe it's best not to say anything just yet."

She bit her lip and put her coffee cup down. "Before I make matters even worse?"

"You never know," he said. "There are people who'd love nothing more than to bring down the SGC and they could use it against you."

"Would it be worse than everyone thinking she's _harsesis_ , though?"

He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "I've thought about that… we have Skaara's DNA on file, so we could just run a DNA test to prove she isn't his."

"And they'd assume the same thing you did, initially."

"Yeah."

Frowning, Sam hesitantly reached for his hand. "But what about you?"

He patted her hand and plastered a smile on his face, "No one suspects she's mine and it's not like they could just access my DNA sample from the military DNA database to check paternity. That's only for identifying remains."

"But I thought you wanted to be involved in her life?"

"I do," Jack said with conviction, squeezing her hand. "But not at the cost of you being brought up on charges or worse."

She pulled her hand away as tears welled up in her eyes. "But what kind of role could you play in her life if you're not listed as her father?"

"I want to be part of both your lives," he told her earnestly. "After you told me the truth I gave this a lot of thought and I came up with a solution. I could adopt Ife… as long as you want us to be… involved. Then I wouldn't have to come forward as her biological father and no one would be the wiser."

* * *

**Stargate Command**   
**Colorado Springs, CO**   
**December 30, 1999**

It was surprising how easy it was to fall into her role of Air Force officer the moment Sam set foot on base. The tailored dress blues helped, both to remind her and as a shield of sorts. There had been looks and glances cast her way as she walked along the corridors of the SGC but those were nothing new. Even at the Pentagon, before everything, she'd been aware of the way others looked at her. The reason might be different now, although there was no telling if any of them even knew who she was and what had happened to her.

Somehow, the not knowing helped her to keep going.

She smoothed her hands down her skirt and looked at the base commander at the opposite side of the desk. After talking her options through with Jack it hadn't taken her long to make a decision, but she was a little nervous about the General's response.

"I'm pleased to see you're looking well, Captain," Hammond said. "Colonel O'Neill told me you and your daughter are adjusting just fine to being back on Earth and the CMO informed me of your progress after your last check-up."

"Yes, Sir," Sam said, nodding.

The General smiled warmly at her as he leaned back in his chair. "I must admit I was surprised to hear from you so soon. We don't expect you to make a choice right now."

"I believe it's time to start moving forward, Sir."

"There is no rush, Captain."

She knew he probably meant it, but she also remembered how a prolonged medical leave would be interpreted as a weakness in the Air Force, especially when it concerned a female officer. "I understand, Sir. But I would like to return to active duty."

There was a brief look of surprise on his face before he schooled his features and reached for a folder on his desk. Her file. "Do you believe you're ready, Captain?"

"Yes, Sir."

"You do realize you would have to pass your physicals and be cleared medically before you could return to active duty?"

She nodded her understanding and sat up even straighter. "With all due respect, Sir, I've spent a long time traveling off-world and am probably in better physical condition than I've ever been."

His eyebrows rose at her reply and he studied her file before he spoke again, "That's not what Doctor Fraiser's report says, Captain."

"I'm aware of her conclusions, Sir. I won't deny that it wouldn't hurt to gain some weight, but I've always been on the lower end of the scale. My physical condition hasn't suffered from it. As a matter of fact, my muscle tone is great and I'm stronger now than two years ago."

"I won't question your… endurance, Captain Carter. However, I do question your overall fitness." Hammond gestured at her and sighed, "It doesn't take a medical expert to see you're still underweight, although your dress blues hide it well. I was present when you returned to Earth almost seven weeks ago and you were frightfully malnourished. Doctor Fraiser is of the opinion that it will take more time for your fitness to be restored and I happen to agree with her."

Sam gritted her teeth silently, even though she'd known it was a possibility. She couldn't even disagree with him or the CMO, because her body still looked like it belonged to someone else. "Sir, I'm not requesting to return to an SG team. I believe I can make a contribution to the war with the Goa'uld and our exploration of the galaxy from a position at the Science Department of the SGC. I've been informed the physical requirements for such a position are less rigorous and I'm confident I can pass the physical assessment."

General Hammond nodded and steepled his hands on the desk, looking her in the eye. "I'm aware of the position you requested and you are correct about the physical requirements. However, I'm afraid I don't share your opinion, Captain. Now, don't get me wrong, I do believe you can make a tremendous contribution to the SGC from the labs. Your knowledge and expertise already made you a good asset when you first transferred here and with your recent, er, experience, I'd say it makes you invaluable. But I am not convinced you are ready to return to active duty. Yet."

"I'm not sure why you contacted me if that is the case, Sir."

"I would like for you to undergo an assessment to see where you currently are in your recovery, Captain. From there, we can start planning your rehabilitation and eventual return to active duty."

Nails dug into her palms where her hands rested in her lap, but Sam managed to muster a polite smile. There had always been that possibility and she was well aware her chances of returning to active duty were slim if she refused.

Since her talk with Jack, she'd realized she wanted to continue to fight the Goa'uld and support the cause of the Free Jaffa. There was no going back, not after everything she'd gone through. It was time to take up the fight, with the SGC having her six this time. "Of course, Sir."

"To be honest with you, I must admit I was disappointed when I learned you didn't want to continue your sessions with Doctor MacKenzie."

Oh, crap.

"However," the General continued, "every single member of my command must undergo a psychological evaluation after experiencing a traumatic event. Your experience most likely exceeds what most of my people have gone through, which makes it all the more important for you to undergo counseling."

"Sir-"

He held up his hand to forestall any protest, "One of the conditions for you remain in the United States Air Force is a psych eval, Captain. If you wish to be part of my command that includes regular sessions with Doctor MacKenzie or one of our other psychiatrists."

She swallowed hard. "For how long if I may ask, Sir?"

"For as long as I feel necessary, Captain."

"Yes, Sir."

He closed her file and looked up to hold her gaze, his pale blue eyes sympathetic. "You agree to undergo an assessment and mandatory counseling sessions in order to return to active duty, Captain?"

Forcing a smile, she nodded. "Yes, Sir."

"Good," he said. "If that was all, I will discuss your case with Doctors Fraiser and MacKenzie, who in turn will contact you to make an appointment."

"Actually, Sir, there's one more thing," Sam said, steeling herself.

He looked genuinely surprised and leaned back in his chair, motioning for her to continue. "Captain?"

"It's about my daughter, Sir."

"Yes?"

Sam took a deep breath, suddenly unsure of how to phrase it. Jack's offer to adopt Ife to prevent any complications was more than she could have hoped for, especially after she'd lied to him about Ife's paternity, but she was no longer going to deny their blood connection. Jack deserved more from her. This was one of the few things she could give him. "I've been made aware of speculation surrounding her conception and-"

Hammond interrupted her before she could finish, "I do not expect you to go into detail about such a personal matter, Captain."

"I appreciate that, Sir. But I'm afraid I have to, to avoid certain misconceptions. Colonel O'Neill informed me about the child Apophis had with Doctor Jackson's wife. A _harsesis_. I have not been entirely truthful about Ife's paternity. Although no one asked me outright, I'm aware everyone assumed my daughter is the result of a sexual relationship between Klorel and Herit, the Goa'uld who possessed me."

"You are saying that is not true?"

She smoothed her hands over her skirt again and nodded, before looking him in the eye. "Yes, Sir. My daughter is not _harsesis_."

The General narrowed his eyes, suspicion written all over his face. "I don't know how much Colonel O'Neill told you about the _harsesis_ , but I gather it was enough to alarm you. You're a bright woman, Captain. Surely you can understand my skepticism, especially considering your timing."

"Yes, Sir," she said, flushing. "However, I can prove that Ife was not fathered by Klorel. Colonel O'Neill told me-"

"It seems Colonel O'Neill shared quite a bit of classified information with you," Hammond said slowly.

Her instinct was to defend Jack but she knew that would only make it look worse. So, she chose to ignore the accusation. "There is apparently a DNA sample of Skaara, the Abydonian who was taken as host by Klorel."

"You want us to perform a paternity test to prove he is not the father of your child," he concluded. "Even if there was such a DNA sample, then who is to say such a test would be accurate? We don't know much about Goa'uld reproduction and even less about _harsesises_ , but it's my understanding that it takes the Goa'uld's DNA to produce such a child. So, would it not be Klorel's DNA we would need to test? The Goa'uld who conveniently died off-world a few months ago."

"Colonel O'Neill is Ife's father."

The General's eyes went wide. "Excuse me?"

Sam silently berated herself for just blurting it out and took a moment to gather her thoughts before elaborating. "The day before my mission Colonel O'Neill and I met in Washington, DC. I was still working at the Pentagon and he was there on business. Neither of us knew who the other was back then."

"I take it there was more to it than a simple meeting?"

"We slept together."

"I see."

There was no judgment in his tone and while that was reassuring, Sam felt no shame as she told him what happened. After everything she'd gone through, telling a two-star general about her sex life wasn't all that embarrassing. "I left in the morning and found out about my new assignment. It wasn't until I got here that I made the connection, but then I went on my mission before the Colonel returned from DC."

An uncomfortable silence followed, during which Hammond watched her intently. A few seconds later he broke the silence with a sigh and frowned. "And that, er, meeting resulted in a pregnancy?"

"I didn't know until after the implantation ceremony," she said, fisting her hands at the memory. "I have no idea how my body managed to sustain the pregnancy during my captivity. By the time I was put into the sarcophagus in preparation of the implantation, I was miscarrying without realizing it. Then, after I was made a host, Herit told me about the pregnancy."

"The Goa'uld knew?"

She shrugged, "Only after she'd taken me as a host."

The General rubbed a hand over his face and looked at her pensively. "Is there any chance someone other than Colonel O'Neill is the father?"

"No, Sir. At that time, I hadn't been sexually assaulted. Besides, Herit knew the baby was his right away. I don't know how, perhaps she could sense it or read my memories."

"And Colonel O'Neill is aware of your daughter's paternity?"

Sam nodded slowly, "I told him two weeks ago. He had no idea."

Hammond blew out a deep breath and, for a moment, looked a little lost. "Well, this changes things, Captain."

"I know, Sir."

"I won't go into the fact that while you might not have lied, exactly, about your daughter's paternity, you clearly misled us in your debriefings. I will take some time to consider everything you've told me and decide on a course of action. However, your involvement with Colonel O'Neill-"

Sam didn't want to get Jack into trouble and spoke up, "To be clear, Sir, we are not romantically involved."

"That may very well be the case, but you're staying at his house and, assuming the DNA test proves it, he is the father of your child," he countered.

She nodded an affirmative when he threw her a questioning glance. Hell, if everything went the way she hoped they'd go, then she and Jack would get together eventually. It would just take some time. Rushing things wasn't a good idea under normal circumstances and their situation made things even more complicated. If she managed to screw it up like she had most of her past relationships, then she'd risk ruining Ife's relationship with her dad too.

"Sharing a child, even simply co-parenting, remains a conflict of interest. Colonel O'Neill is my second in command and therefore in the same chain of command as you, Captain. However, considering you will join the Science Department after being reinstated to active duty if all goes well, you'll report to me directly. And in my absence, you'll report to Colonel Dixon."

"Yes, Sir."

General Hammond gave her a long, hard look before he spoke again. "Captain Carter, I want to make sure you understand this does not absolve you. There is a possibility that an investigation will be opened into your actions based on this new information."

"I understand, Sir."

"Colonel O'Neill is aware of all this?"

Sam bit her lip, wondering how he'd react when she got home. "No, Sir. I told him about the paternity when he was on leave and we briefly discussed my career options, but he doesn't know yet about my decision or that I was going to tell you about Ife's paternity."

To her surprise, a small smile appeared on the base commander's face. "Well, it sounds like you two have a lot to discuss. In the meantime, I'll consider what course of action must be taken in light of your confession and I shall request a new birth certificate with Colonel O'Neill's name on it for your daughter. Dismissed, Captain."

"Yes, Sir," she said, getting to her feet. "And thank you, Sir."


	16. Chapter 16

**O'Neill Residence**   
**Colorado Springs, CO**   
**January 2, 2000**

Jack was just finishing up in the kitchen when he heard Sam's footsteps down the hall. He'd left the TV on in the living room and wasn't surprised to see her blonde hair peek out above the half-wall a moment later. "I'm almost done with the dishes," he called out, before she'd start looking for him.

"Okay," she replied. "Are you watching this?"

He'd been watching _The Simpsons_ when she went to put Ife to bed and took a bath herself, but that had been a while ago. "Nope."

Sam muttered something he couldn't quite understand because he was stacking dishes but when the sound of the television changed he figured she'd settled in and was channel surfing.

After wiping down the counter Jack grabbed a bottle of wine and poured them both a glass. He'd noticed how tense Sam had been all day and figured she might appreciate some wine. If he were honest, he was a bit nervous about her going back to the SGC tomorrow, too.

He found her curled up on the sofa in the living room and offered a glass to which she raised a brow. "Wine?"

"You're down to what, one or two feeds a day? It'll be out of your system by morning."

Sam's full lips curled into a small smile as she took the glass from him, their fingers brushing. "I guess that's true. Thank you."

"Sure," Jack said, smirking. He sat down on the sofa and made himself comfortable as he stretched out his legs. When Sam cautiously put her free hand on his thigh he tensed for a moment, before he laid his arm along the back of the sofa.

She took a sip of wine and leaned more into his side, resting her head on his shoulder. "This is nice."

Turning his head a little, he saw her eyes were closed and suddenly his heart felt like bursting. It was such a small thing but the knowledge that she felt safe and relaxed enough to close her eyes with him warmed him from the inside out. Taking a deep breath, he buried his nose in her hair. "Yeah."

They stayed that way for a while, until Sam sighed and started tapping her fingers on his thigh.

Jack set his glass on the table and stilled her movement with his hand. "Nervous about tomorrow?"

"A little."

"You gonna stick with MacKenzie?" He asked, fingering the ends of her hair where it brushed his hand.

She shrugged and took a sip of wine. "I think so. General Hammond was pretty clear that the sessions with a psychiatrist were mandatory and at least I've already met him."

"MacKenzie is a good guy," Jack said slowly. "For a shrink, anyway. He's been with the Program since the start and has seen his fair share of aliens, too."

"On base?"

He nodded, "A few foothold situations, enemy captives, traumatized refugees… he's even been off-world a few times. He knows what he's talking about and more importantly, what you might want to talk about."

She sighed again and staring into her glass as she swirled the wine around. "Maybe. We'll see."

"Is it just therapy tomorrow?"

"Depends," she said. "Doctor MacKenzie wanted to talk to me first and depending on how it goes, he'll either send me home or I can start my light duty."

He made a noncommittal sound as he took the hairclip from her hair and let it drop next to her, his hand slipping into her hair. The golden locks were soft as he wound them around his fingers. "Well, you don't have to worry about Ife; I don't have to go in tomorrow, so I can stay with her."

"I thought you had an upcoming mission?"

"Not yet," he said. The truth was that her going back to work _and_ getting her head shrunk worried him a little, so when Hammond had mentioned a storm on P7X-377 Jack had suggested they wait another day or two before sending another MALP for recon. "We're gonna send out the MALP on Tuesday and based on the MALP's data we'll decide whether to go ahead and if so, when."

She leaned into his fingers and hummed as his fingers massaged her scalp. "We'll still need someone to watch her when we both work."

Jack chuckled when she snuggled even closer. "I checked with Dixon. He's got three kids and he said his wife wouldn't mind watching another for a few hours a day."

"She's going to watch four kids?"

"I think he's hoping that Ife will keep his wife from considering a fourth."

Sam snorted, "Well, I suppose she's got enough experience babysitting."

He let his hand drop to the back of her neck and squeezed softly in support. "I know it's gonna be hard to leave Ife with a babysitter but we really do need one. My hours are irregular and I can't tell in advance when I'll be back from a mission. And isn't it better to start out with half days while you're on light duty instead of when we're both working full time?"

"You're right," she said. "And it's not like it's the first time I'll have to leave her with others, but it's different now."

"You have?"

She pulled back a little to look him in the eye, "Where did you think I kept her when I saved your ass on Hathor's planet?"

Frowning, Jack realized he hadn't given it much thought. Well, he'd been surprised when he found out about Ife's existence because he'd never seen her before when meeting with Sam, but that was about as far as his mind had gone. "Really?"

"Bra'tac brought her to safety. That's why he came later as backup and didn't stay on the planet with me when I went after you."

"Oh. So, she stayed with friends?"

Sam nodded with a far-away look in her eyes. "Jaffa I could trust."

"I figured it'd be difficult since you've been pretty much inseparable since you got here."

"I'm not saying it would be _easy_ ," she replied. "I mean, she's older now and still adjusting to Earth life. What if the babysitter notices?"

He squeezed her hand where it still lay on his thigh and shrugged, "It'll be fine. It's not like they'll suspect she's from a different planet. But I'll talk to Dixon, just to make sure he has some kind of explanation for his wife in case she asks questions."

Sam turned her hand up and entwined her fingers with his, sighing happily as she leaned back against him. "Thanks."

Jack was content to just sit back with her snuggled up to him and the TV on mute, so he reached for the folded-up afghan on the back of the sofa and spread it out over their laps before wrapping his arm around her again. "Sure, you betcha."

* * *

**Stargate Command**   
**Colorado Springs, CO**   
**January 3, 2000**

It had been surprisingly easy to come into Doctor MacKenzie's office. Easier than watching Jack drive off with Ife after being dropped off at the mountain. The chair was comfy too. Then again, it probably should be comfortable if someone was supposed to pour their heart out to the shrink.

"It's been almost seven weeks since we spoke," Doctor MacKenzie said.

He made it sound like a long time but compared to the nearly two and a half years she'd been living off-world, it felt like yesterday to Sam. "Yes."

The friendly smile she recalled from their first session appeared as he folded his hands. "A lot of things have changed for you in the meantime."

"I guess."

"You're looking better," he said, gesturing in her general direction. "How does it feel to be back in uniform?"

Sam knew what she'd looked like when she first got back, but she couldn't help but wonder what he'd _seen_ when he looked at her. Even now, with her diet, her body wasn't back to what it once was. When she smoothed her hands down her sides she could still feel her hips protruding through the thick fabric. General Hammond had mentioned something about her dress blues covering up the fact that she was underweight. A cover. Before everything, her dress blues had been her armor against the looks and attitudes she received at the Pentagon from chauvinistic officers and maybe it could be her armor again. "It feels… strange. But comfortable. Familiar, maybe."

"Familiarity is good.

"I had to get them altered to fit better," she confessed, with a wry smile. "They were tailored before I left."

The Doctor raised his brows and seemed to take a closer look at the fabric. "These are the ones you already owned? I was under the impression you'd lost your possessions."

She had always taken great care with her uniform and knew the fabric was still in excellent condition. There were a few small marks invisible to an outsider but ones that made them recognizable as her own. "My dad kept them," she explained, frowning a little. "Jack gave them to me."

"Colonel O'Neill?"

"Yeah," she said absentmindedly, suddenly wondering how, exactly, they ended up in Jack's possession after her dad died. He hadn't mentioned anything and she hadn't thought to ask.

Doctor MacKenzie appeared to be waiting for her to elaborate but when nothing was forthcoming, he spoke instead, "Speaking of Colonel O'Neill… I understand you're staying with him."

Sam couldn't help but wonder who had told him before she chided herself and decided General Hammond or Doctor Fraiser most likely told him for professional reasons. "Yes, Ife and I are staying at Colonel O'Neill's house. He offered us his guestroom when Doctor Fraiser lifted the quarantine, because I didn't have anywhere to go."

"That was a kind offer."

"I know it might seem strange because we didn't know each other well, but he made some good arguments." She felt the urge to defend their decision, even though she knew she didn't have to and they weren't doing anything wrong. "My dad died and my brother lives in San Diego. We didn't get on well before I was taken and I didn't think it was wise to take Ife on a plane."

He nodded slowly and she was relieved to see no judging looks, just friendly understanding. "You had no home or finances, either."

"Maybe the Air Force could have sprung for a hotel room but I didn't want to take Ife to another room we couldn't really leave."

"That's understandable. What has it been like since you left the SGC?"

It was tempting to tell him everything was fine, but Sam found herself taking a moment to think her answer through. "It's been… different."

There was no reaction other than the understanding look in his eyes. "Different in what way? From the life you left behind when you were captured or what you were expecting when you thought about going home?"

"I don't think they are mutually exclusive."

"True," he said, smiling. "But did you really think life on Earth would be the same?"

No. She'd always been honest with herself about what it would be like to go back to Earth. Maybe she'd oversimplified things when talking about home with Ife, but in her heart she'd known everything would be different. Or at least nothing would be the same. "Is that really possible? For someone to just come back and pick up where their life left off?"

"For someone? Maybe," he shrugged a little. "It depends on what happened to them while they were away."

Sam heard the unspoken _not for you, after everything you went through_ in his reply and sighed. "Is it that simple?"

MacKenzie looked at her pensively as he steepled his fingers. "Is that what you want, Sam? For everything to go back to the way it was before you went off-world?"

"Yes." She nodded, thinking about her dad. But… "No. God, I don't know."

"What made you change your mind?"

Her mind was going light-years a minute but she couldn't pinpoint one thing in particular. "A lot has happened. My dad had cancer when I left," she started, "although he never told me. He died thinking I was dead."

"Would you have preferred he knew the truth?"

"The truth? No. But maybe knowing I was coming back would have helped him hold on a little longer."

The look MacKenzie gave her was skeptical at best. "His cancer was terminal. Do you think you'd feel better if he had died shortly after you returned?"

That was the question she'd been asking herself a lot, too. Sam had long ago admitted to herself that her dad was better off not knowing what she was going through. Would it have helped to be able to say goodbye? Let him know that she was all right. "He probably would have blamed himself for not finding out the truth," she said slowly. "He was a two star but not involved with the Program. Most likely, he'd have felt worse that he didn't pull enough strings to get me back."

"But what about you?"

"It doesn't really matter now, does it? His suffering would have been prolonged and he'd have felt guilt for something he had no control over," she concluded. "And he still would have died."

The Doctor made a sound of acknowledgement and waited until he had her full attention before he spoke again. "There's nothing wrong with wishing things were different, Sam."

She'd spoken to a counselor when her mom died and recalled the woman saying something similar, about it being okay to have selfish desires. Sam was an adult now though and whether or not she was capable of such selfishness didn't matter because that wasn't how life worked. It wasn't fair but she'd learned that the hard way years ago.

"Sam?"

"I suppose you're right," she said slowly, thoughts turned inwards. "When we were living off-world I told Ife about Earth and what our lives would be like. Back then, I knew I was oversimplifying things and that it probably wouldn't be as easy for me as I told her."

MacKenzie jotted something down before looking up, tapping the end of his pen on the notepad. "What were you expecting?"

She shrugged, trying to find the right words. "I wasn't sure what to expect," she said. "I had no idea who was involved with Lieutenant Colonel Grieves and how high up the chain it went. Colonel O'Neill promised to flush them all out and come for me when it was safe, but it was difficult to think beyond that."

"But you'd imagined what might happen?"

"I was worried about Ife, how she would adjust to life on Earth after hopping from primitive planet to primitive planet for most of her life."

"Your only concern was for your daughter?"

Looking down at her lap, Sam found herself admiring her nails. She'd given herself a manicure over the weekend to prepare for her return to duty, but she just couldn't get used to it. As Herit, she'd been well groomed but for the past two years she'd gone through life with dirty and torn nails. "I feared repercussions," she admitted without looking up.

The Doctor pursed his lips and waited for a beat before he replied. "Repercussions for what?"

"Everything."

"Colonel O'Neill promised to ensure your safety before he retrieved you from off-world," MacKenzie said. "Were you aware of his efforts to disprove Lieutenant Colonel Grieves' allegations?"

Sam remembered the few times she and Jack had seen each other off-world, the promises he'd made to her and nodded. "He seemed very determined to find out who was behind everything."

"You trusted him?"

"Yes, I did," she said. "I still do. But at the time it was hard to imagine him succeeding."

"And what about when he came to retrieve you?"

She shrugged, recalling the surprise she'd felt at his sudden appearance. "I was shocked," she admitted, leaving out the bit about feeling nervous over Ife. "But I believed him and of course, Major Davis was with him and guaranteed my safety as well."

"Yet you still feared repercussions? For your time with the Goa'uld?" MacKenzie raised his brows and sent her an inquiring look, "Or your daughter's existence?"

"Both," she admitted softly, biting her lip.

"You weren't given a choice in becoming a host," he reminded her. "That act, and all that came with it, was forced upon you."

Sam preferred not to think back to those dark days, still feeling the fear from the moment she'd realized what Klorel's intentions were like it happened yesterday. It had been terrifying. The thought of some evil creature overtaking her and extracting all the secrets she'd been keeping for so long… she shuddered and shifted in her seat.

"Even as a host, you didn't give up and resisted helping the Goa'uld to attack Earth. You managed to escape and kill your parasite and turn a First Prime against his God along the way. It's important to remember your achievements under those circumstances. They were quite impressive, especially for a young captain who had little experience in the field."

"Perhaps that's true. I did the best I could and I _know_ that, but I was still a part of the attempted attack on Earth."

The Doctor nodded and she liked that he didn't try to placate her. "It was my understanding you were also instrumental in preventing the actual attack, though. According to the mission reports from SG-1 and the Jaffa Moac, ayway."

"I merely delayed the execution of SG-1 and disabled the mothership's shields."

"In doing so, you gave SG-1 the opportunity to escape and destroy both ships."

She'd taken a big risk by lying about Apophis' orders to kill the prisoners immediately but she'd figured there was enough time for herself to escape off-world through the stargate before Klorel or Apophis found out. Disabling the shields of Klorel's _ha'tak_ had been to give Earth or the SG team a fighting chance while she got herself and her unborn child to safety but she couldn't very well tell the shrink the truth.

Right now, he might have his suspicions about her time as a host but she wasn't going to admit to having been in control of her own mind and body for the majority of the time due to the pregnancy. "I had previously worked on a weapon, project name Goa'uld Buster, at the Pentagon and figured that was what the SGC would use to defend the planet. At the time, we had no idea about the defensive capabilities the Goa'uld had for their ships. Through Herit and my time aboard the mothership I realized the weapon would have no effect if the shields were active."

"You risked your life and position among the Goa'uld by disabling the shields."

"I took a chance, although I later learned Bra'tac had the same plan. He and Moac had liberated SG-1 and split up."

MacKenzie checked his notes, before he spoke again. "But like you said, you weren't aware of Bra'tac's plan at the time and for all we know, he may have gotten there too late."

Sam briefly wondered if he _knew_ the truth when she felt his intense gaze on her and schooled her features into a blank mask. It didn't take a theoretical astrophysicist to know that while their sessions were supposedly confidential he'd definitely report it if she told him the whole truth about her time with Klorel and off-world, starting with her being in control over Herit.

"I suppose that's true," she said, as she recalled a conversation she'd had with Jack on the training grounds of one of Apophis' Jaffa camps. "Colonel O'Neill told me that there were visitors of an alternate reality here a while back. An alternate version of me. She never joined the Air Force and was working at their SGA as a scientist. She hadn't been aboard Klorel's ship to stop the attack and their Earth was under attack by the Goa'uld."

"That's correct."

"You spoke to her?"

He smiled and shook his head, "If that was the case, then anything we discussed was confidential, Sam."

She blew out a breath. "Right."

"I do agree with you, however, that your presence on the ship may have been the deciding factor that saved both SG-1 and Earth. Not to mention the fact that you managed to convince one of the oldest and most experienced First Primes to change sides and helped him recruit other Rebel Jaffa."

"I suppose that's one way of looking at it," she said thoughtfully.

He chuckled softly, "A rather important way, but yes."

She knew what he was trying to do but was well aware that there might still be repercussions for her involvement if someone wanted to go after her – or the SGC. It was unclear whether General Hammond suspected anything but if he did, he hadn't said anything. Realistically, there was no evidence to prove she had been in control of Herit. There was the matter of Sha're, though; from what she'd heard, SG-1 and thus General Hammond knew the Abydonian wife of Daniel had been in control of her Goa'uld Amaunet during her pregnancy. It was unclear to Sam if Sha're had told them anything about the duration or if they'd assumed it was only near the end of term.

"I don't think you need to fear any repercussions from your time with the Goa'uld," Doctor MacKenzie said in a reassuring tone, "and I hope you will believe this too in time."

"It will take time," she acknowledged with a small smile.

He looked down at his papers and made some additional notes before catching her gaze. "That leaves your daughter's existence. Was the fear of repercussions the reason you told General Hammond about her paternity?"

The blunt question took her by surprise, although she'd suspected the General would inform the shrink prior to her session. "It wasn't necessarily _the_ reason," she said slowly, before briefly telling him about meeting Jack prior to her reassignment and how she hadn't found out about the pregnancy until Herit informed her. "I wasn't sure how to explain it to Colonel O'Neill. We didn't know each other very well despite everything he'd done to get me back to Earth safely. He had the right to learn he was a father before anyone else did, though."

"It was a difficult situation."

"Yeah."

"I take it telling him the truth went well, considering your current living situation?"

She shrugged, unwilling to share too much of such a private moment. "He is taken with Ife and more than happy to acknowledge her."

MacKenzie had a pensive look on his face as he nodded in understanding and she briefly wondered just how much the psychiatrist knew about Jack's past and personality. "And how is all this affecting you?"

"I'm not sure what you mean."

"Well, you've been pretty much a single parent since she was born and your lives weren't exactly easy. Now suddenly Colonel O'Neill shares a similar role as your daughter's father and he will probably get more involved in her upbringing. It's not just you and Ife, anymore."

The assumption that she'd been a single parent wasn't entirely true, considering Bra'tac's involvement. She knew the old Jaffa loved Ife like she was his own. Though it wasn't the same with Jack, of course. "So far, so good."

Doctor MacKenzie seemed to interpret her reaction correctly and moved on. "Considering the circumstances, I doubt there will be any repercussions. I know you kept the truth to yourself for quite a while," he said, holding up his hand to forestall her protest, "but that is understandable, in my professional opinion."

"I didn't want Colonel O'Neill to feel obligated or get him into trouble by telling everyone about Ife's paternity after I'd returned, but I was also worried they'd assume she was _harsesis_."

"That's only natural, Sam. You were trying to keep your daughter safe. What it comes down to is that it's a matter between you and Colonel O'Neill."

"The DNA test will prove paternity," she said, nodding. "Not that Colonel O'Neill has any doubts, but I felt it was best to remove any lingering doubts others might have about Ife's parentage."

"General Hammond informed me about the situation shortly after you spoke to him and he doesn't foresee any problems."

That was a relief, but she still wanted the results from the DNA test in case someone wanted to stir up trouble. "I felt it was necessary to inform General Hammond after I'd made the decision to take a position in the Science Department of the SGC."

"A wise decision," MacKenzie said. "And on that note, I think our time is almost up for today. I'm glad to hear you've chosen to remain with the Air Force."

"I know better than anyone what kind of evil is out there," she said, "how could I turn my back on it if I can make a contribution to help win the war with the Goa'uld?"

"We will keep up our sessions until a time comes that I feel it is no longer necessary, but I think we've made a good start. From what I've seen today and taking into account Doctor Fraiser's report about your physical condition, I don't see any reason to keep you on medical leave any longer. You'll start with light duty this week, which will also give you the time to adjust to balancing your duty with your family life."

Sam smiled as she felt excitement bubble within her. "Thank you, Doctor."

"There's no need to thank me, Captain. You're the one who has done all the hard work. It's good to see how far you've come since your quarantine. Tremendous progress. Last time you didn't seem comfortable in your skin or with your salutation."

"Last time, it was day five," she replied.

MacKenzie smiled at her reference and nodded, "Yes, it was."


	17. Chapter 17

**O'Neill Residence**   
**Colorado Springs, CO**   
**January 3, 2000**

It was late by the time Sam finally arrived home. A lot later than she'd planned. Her first day at the SGC had been exciting, despite starting it with a session with Doctor MacKenzie. But the psychiatrist had cleared her for light duty and then she'd been whisked away to numerous meetings and ended up eating a salad and a bowl of fruit for dinner over some of SG-1's mission reports.

She was greeted by warmth and the smell of food when she opened the front door and stepped into the hallway. Before she'd had time to take off her coat Jack came out of the kitchen, sleeves rolled up and drying his hands with a towel. She slipped off her coat and greeted him, "Hi."

He grinned at her and slung the towel over his shoulder. "Hi."

"Sorry I'm late."

"I'm just glad your first day apparently went well."

She couldn't suppress a shiver when she hung up her coat and grimaced when she caught the look he gave her. "It's cold outside," she explained, "and I guess I'm not used to walking around in my dress blues anymore."

His eyes darted lower, to her legs. "You want to get changed while I heat you up some dinner?"

"Where's Ife?"

"I put her to bed almost half an hour ago," he said apologetically. "She fell asleep shortly after you called and said Fraiser would drop you off when her shift was over. I wasn't sure how long you'd be and-"

Sam put a hand on his arm and squeezed it gently. Small touches like that had become easier over the past few weeks. "It's fine, Jack. Ife needs her sleep. I guess I just got caught up with it all. If Doctor Fraiser hadn't found me in the commissary and insisted on a checkup I would probably still be reading those mission reports."

He chuckled and brushed his thumb over her hand. "Guess it's a good thing you find them so interesting because you've got quite some catching up to do if you're going to read all the mission reports from all the SG team members."

"Just SG-1's for now. Teal'c guaranteed me they were by far the most interesting."

"He'd say that," Jack replied, smirking.

Leaning on him, she removed her pumps one by one and held them in her free hand. "Yours are actually quite captivating."

He rolled his eyes and dismissed the genuine compliment. "So, food? Or did you already eat on base?"

"I had a salad, but if dinner tastes half as good as it smells I'll have some." Her appetite seemed to be increasing lately for which she was glad, especially after Doctor Fraiser had commented on her weight again. "But first I want to check on Ife."

"Of course. I'll be in the kitchen, finishing up the dishes."

There was an awkward moment in which neither of them moved, as if unsure what to do, before she released her hold on his arm and stepped back. "I'm just going to take a quick peek and change into something more comfortable."

Ife was sprawled out on the bed, fast asleep. She didn't have a care in the world.

For a few minutes, Sam simply stood there, watching her daughter from the doorway. Being away from her for most of the day had been hard. Harder than she'd expected. She'd thought it would be easier after being left no choice but to leave Ife with others – often Jaffa – on occasion off-world, but knowing how near she was had been harder today. If it hadn't been for Jack, Sam probably would have gone home after a few hours. Instead, she'd told herself that Jack was a good father and Ife most likely wouldn't even miss her. So, Sam had allowed herself to get absorbed into her work at the SGC, knowing Ife was safe, loved and cared for by her father.

After setting her pumps down near the dresser, she soundlessly walked over to the bed and sat down on the covers, the mattress dipping a bit under her weight. Cautiously, she reached out and ran her fingers through Ife's dark hair. The girl didn't stir.

"I missed you, sweetie," Sam whispered. Leaning forward, she pressed a kiss to her daughter's forehead, "Sleep tight."

She lingered for a while and it wasn't until the bedroom door opened and more light spilled in that she realized another ten minutes had passed.

Jack walked into the room and stopped just short of her, "Everything okay?"

"Yeah."

"Do you want to stay here for a little while longer?"

Sam shook her head, even though she was tempted to just lie down next to Ife and watch her sleep all night. Changing into something more comfortable didn't seem worth disturbing Ife's sleep, either. "No. Dinner will get cold."

"We can take her to the living room with us," he said, shrugging. "She usually sleeps like the dead so I doubt she'd wake up if we move her."

"No," Sam said, sighing. She got to her feet and brushed his elbow with her hand. "Her need for sleep, comfort and security is bigger than mine for watching and holding her."

Jack raised a brow, "Is it?"

She grimaced and guided him out of the bedroom. "It should be."

"Sam-"

"It's fine," she said, closing the bedroom door behind them without looking back. "It's going to take me some time to adjust to going back to work and if I start disturbing her sleep for my comfort then it'll become habit and her whole routine goes out the window."

He gave her a look of understanding and grabbed her hand, gently pulling her towards the kitchen. "Food it is, then."

Sam practically started drooling over the pasta at the counter, suddenly starving. Over the weeks she'd learned he was a pretty decent cook and she thanked her lucky stars that her stomach had stopped rebelling to most Earth foods. She was still careful though and tried to stick with the prescribed diet as best she could. "Smells great."

Jack poured them both a glass of wine and steered her towards the living room. "So, do you want to tell me about your day?"

"That sounds very… domestic," she said, chuckling.

He simply flashed her a grin and took a seat on the sofa, patting the seat next to him in an invitation to join him. "Just curious."

She put the plate of pasta down to unbutton her jacket before sitting down next to him. The food was delicious and she took a few bites to think about her answer. "The session with Doctor MacKenzie went well," she said slowly. When she called Jack earlier that day she'd told him the shrink had cleared her for light duty and that she'd stay on base for the rest of the afternoon to be read into everything.

"He's good at his job," Jack said noncommittally. He took a sip of wine, the glass he'd poured for her in his other hand. "He's been with the Program since day one and has seen a lot of the crazy stuff the SGC deals with. Hammond wouldn't have kept him around if he wasn't up to it."

"Something he said made me wonder." She finished the plate of food and set it on the coffee table as she recalled the conversation they'd had about her uniform. "Where did you find my dress blues?"

He handed her the other glass of wine as he flicked his wrist and made tiny circles in the air with his own glass, gaze firmly locked on the swirling liquid. "I told you I attended your, er, funeral. But that wasn't the only time I saw your dad."

Sam put a hand on his forearm and waited until he looked her in the eye to reply, "Are you saying you kept in touch with my dad and he gave them to you?"

"He didn't believe the cover story and demanded answers. Hammond couldn't give him the truth and I think he realized that, so he came to me."

"What did you tell him?"

Jack grinned roguishly, "Well, he was pretty relentless and considering my less-than-regulation-abiding nature, I ended up telling him a variation of the truth. He knew you were still alive and that I was working on a way to get you home safely."

The look he gave her made her wonder about the rapport between him and her dad, because she was could see the fondness in his eyes. She tightened her grip on his arm and whispered, "Tell me more."

Starting at the beginning, he told her about his meetings with her dad, the things they talked about, what her dad thought had happened to her and how proud he was of her. Jack cleared his throat and looked away from her, "We both thought he'd had more time. That _I_ had more time to complete my undercover mission and get you home."

"He died knowing I was alive," Sam said when he finished talking. Ever since General Hammond informed her of her dad's passing she'd wondered if things could have gone differently if he'd known the truth. Now she knew. "That I was safe."

"I was undercover when it happened," he said. "Later I found out he'd made arrangements to get me some stuff."

"My dress blues. His way of saying he had faith in you."

"Or to remind me of the promise I made him," he said skeptically.

She shook her head, "My dad didn't trust easily."

Jack turned his hand palm up and when she placed hers atop of it he entwined his fingers with hers, squeezing gently. "I think I understood where he was coming from."

"Jack…"

"Maybe when you feel up to it we can go to Arlington and say our goodbyes."

She wasn't ready yet to take that step and they both knew it. It made her appreciate his offer all the more. "I'd like that."

Raising his glass, he softly clanked it to hers. "To your dad."

"To Dad." She took a sip of wine and savored the taste with her eyes closed. Memories of her dad came to her mind unbidden and she sighed. God, she missed him. They hadn't even been that close at the time of her mission – hell, he hadn't told her about his cancer – but it hurt to know he was truly gone now and she hadn't been given the opportunity to say goodbye. He'd never meet Ife and Ife would never meet her grandad. At least he'd mended fences with Mark and met her brother's kids, she thought.

Jack must have recognized her mood because he squeezed her hand gently before releasing and getting up, giving her a moment to herself. When she opened her eyes she realized he'd taken her plate with him and figured he was probably busying himself in the kitchen. She idly wondered how he'd gotten to know her so well, but decided it didn't matter. She was just glad he did – and that he'd taken the risk of telling her father part of the truth while she was unable to do so.

A few minutes later he returned to the living room and gave her a concerned look as he sat down next to her, his arm brushing hers. "Everything okay?"

"Just thinking about Dad," she said wistfully. "I'm glad you told him and that he died knowing I was safe, but I wish he could have met Ife."

"Yeah." Jack nodded, a small smile playing around his lips, "She'd have wrapped him around her little finger."

Sam teasingly bumped her shoulder against his, "Just like you?"

He smirked, a twinkle in his eye. "I think Jacob would have understood my soft spot for Carter women."

"He adored my mom."

"Well, he mentioned that you take after her, so I can see why," he said softly.

Unsure of how to respond, Sam took a sip of wine and tried to come up with a different topic. "So, how was your day?"

He snorted and gave her a knowing look, but still replied, "No bad guys chased me and I had the undivided attention of a Carter woman. Not a bad day at all."

"She wasn't any trouble?"

"Nah. Cassie dropped by after school with a gift; a coloring set," he said, waving a hand in the general direction of the corner where they'd put Ife's toys. "It was a big success. I'm pretty sure it's too early to say if she has any talent but I stuck her drawing to the fridge anyway."

Sam felt a surge of pride for their daughter but it was nearly canceled out by disappointment for not being there to see Ife make her first drawing. Going back to work would mean missing out on a whole lot more and she wasn't entirely comfortable with the idea, but considering how much of Ife's life Jack had already missed she decided not to voice it. "She's adjusting so well to everything," she said. "I just hope tomorrow will be another step forward and not three backwards."

"She'll be fine. Dixon's wife knows what she's doing and Dixon already talked to her about how Ife has had… an unusual upbringing," Jack said. "Besides, it'll only be for a few hours, right?"

"Yes, just half days for now," she confirmed. "Mornings mostly. Today was an exception because it was my first day and I knew Ife was in good hands with you."

He smirked and placed his hand on her knee, squeezing in reassurance. "And she'll be in good hands with Dixon's wife, too."

Sam could feel her knee practically glowing from the heat of his hand with her pantyhose the only barrier between his palm and her knee. She swallowed hard when he subconsciously moved his fingers against the inside of her knee, his calluses catching on her pantyhose and eliciting unexpected tendrils of pleasure from her. Suppressing a shudder, she tried to focus on the conversation as he told her about the times the Dixons had taken care of Cassie when she first arrived on Earth.

"Are you cold?"

"Um…" She barely had time to reply – and she wasn't about to tell him the goosebumps that appeared on her thigh had nothing to do with being cold – before he moved to retrieve an afghan and threw it over their laps. "Thanks."

He quirked a smile and stretched his arm along the back of the sofa. "Are you worried about leaving Ife with a stranger for the first time? I know you said it's just for a few hours but it could be a couple of days in a row, depending on how long my mission lasts."

Sam shifted and pulled her legs up, tucking her feet under the afghan. The thought of Jack being gone for a few days was strange considering they spent most of their time together and his missions so far had only taken a day or two. But now they'd both be going to work and leaving their daughter with a babysitter. She could only hope nothing bad would happen to either of them, but they'd discussed the dangerous nature of their work at the SGC before she'd made the decision to return to duty. "It's not that I'm worried about Dixon's wife," she said, "I'm sure she's capable of taking care of Ife. And this wouldn't be the first time Ife's in the care of others. At least this time she'll be safe here on Earth. I'm just a little worried about how long it will take Ife to settle in and be comfortable. She's getting older and becoming more aware of the world around her, I guess. She never used to be shy or so quiet and withdrawn as she was at the SGC."

"I have a briefing at oh six hundred but you don't start until later, right? So maybe you can go over to the Dixons a bit early to properly meet our new babysitter and let Ife settle in."

"Maybe I'll do that," she said, leaning into him a bit more.

Jack smirked when she moved closer and cautiously lowered his arm from the back of the sofa to rest on her shoulders. "You said this wouldn't be the first time Ife's left with someone else, so who was your off-world babysitter aside from Bra'tac? Moac?"

Snorting, she playfully poked him in the ribs with her elbow. "Most of the time it was a Jaffa priestess Bra'tac knew."

"An old flame?"

"Of Teal'c's," she said, grinning at his surprised look, "not Bra'tac's."

He narrowed his eyes, "Interesting. He's never mentioned an ex-girlfriend."

She snuggled into his side, enjoying the warmth of his body and feeling secure in his arms. "She's with the Rebel Jaffa."

"How did you meet?"

"Bra'tac looked her up to help me with the delivery," she explained, thinking back to the stressful time when she was ready to pop and hiding from the Goa'uld forces. "According to Jaffa culture, childbirth is usually assisted by a priestess if one's husband is high enough in the ranks. Bra'tac knew she could be trusted and that we needed the help. Neither of us had any experience with childbirth or newborns."

Jack tightened his arm around her and sighed softly. "So Teal'c's ex helped deliver Ife?"

For a moment she was back in that cave, alone, cold and scared, hoping Bra'tac would return soon with the priestess. She shook off the memory. "Not exactly."

"Bra'tac then?" He asked, with a raised brow.

"Remember how I told you we thought I still had a month to go when Ife was born?"

Jack nodded, the look in his eyes intense. "Yeah."

Suppressing a shiver, she started telling him about the snowy planet and the cave in which they set up their things before Bra'tac left to find Shan'auc. "I thought my back was just sore from retrieving food earlier," she said. "But then my water broke and I realized I was in labor."

"You were on your own." He pulled her a little closer and rested his cheek on her head. "Bra'tac didn't make it back in time, did he?"

"No," she whispered. A smile tugged on her lips at the memory of holding her daughter for the first time. "Ife was born the next day. She was just perfect. So tiny and loud. I was exhausted and fell asleep with her on my chest. Sometime later I woke up to find Bra'tac and the priestess watching us."

Jack pressed a kiss to her hair, "Jesus, Sam."

It had been difficult at the time but oh so rewarding. "I'm sorry you couldn't be there."

"Isn't that supposed to be my line?" He asked, pulling back a little to look at her face.

She felt a sharp pain in her neck when she tried to face him more and grimaced. Reaching up, she rubbed at the sore spot. "Ow."

Jack's eyes had gone from teasing to concerned and his hand came up to touch her neck tentatively. "What's wrong?"

"Just a crick in my neck," she said dismissively. Probably from poring over all of his mission reports at the SGC earlier.

"Ah, a common side effect from flying a desk all day."

She rolled her eyes but didn't push his hand away. "I meant what I said; I should have told you sooner about Ife and I'm sorry."

His hand found its way to the back of her neck and he started massaging the sore muscles there gently. "We talked about this, Sam," he said. "I understand why you didn't tell me when you were off-world. I don't agree with you keeping the truth from me for so long, but I accept that you had your reasons. It doesn't matter now."

"Jack…"

"Let's not dwell."

Any protests she had died on her tongue at his tone. The hurt was still there but he'd pushed it away for the sake of their daughter… and maybe them? She knew her actions had hurt him deeply yet he seemed to have forgiven her. Forgiveness was easier than forgetting though, she was all too aware of that. Still, it was more than she could have hoped for. For a man like him with such a dark past… he never ceased to amaze her.

"Tell me more about Ife," he murmured.

She did as he asked, while his strong fingers continued his massage. The tension drained from her neck and shoulders under his ministrations and she fought not to doze off as she recounted the first few weeks of Ife's life. The help of Shan'auc, dealing with a newborn, the hardships, traveling, foraging, trading… her fears. "In Jaffa culture a child cannot be named until they can hold up their head on their own. From what I understood it's because the infant mortality rate is pretty high."

Jack's hand moved higher and he started removing the pins that kept her hair up, until her locks tumbled down her shoulders. "So you couldn't name Ife until she was, what, three months old because you had to live the Jaffa way?" When she nodded he made a noncommittal noise and slid his hand into her hair, massaging her scalp. "Does Ife have a special meaning, like Shifu meaning light?"

"Yeah." Sam sighed and searched for the words to explain her choice to him. So far, she hadn't told anyone, although she was sure Bra'tac and other Jaffa – including Teal'c – already knew. "I never gave having kids much thought, let alone names. But even after Ife was born I couldn't come up with anything at first. In the end, it turned out to be so simple."

"Yeah?"

His warm brown eyes locked onto hers and she nodded. "I probably would have given up a lot earlier if I hadn't been pregnant," she confessed. "Ife kept me going. The moment she was born I felt such overwhelming and unconditional love. I didn't know that was possible."

Jack smiled knowingly but she didn't miss the flash of pain on his features. "Kids bring that out in people."

"I know Ife wasn't conceived in love but that's what I feel when I look at her."

"Me too," he said. "I think it's fitting."

Sam wasn't sure how to interpret the look in his eyes but she felt it all the way down to her core. Her breathing hitched and she closed her eyes to block out the intensity, but that only served to make her hyperaware of his hand in her hair. She canted her head when his fingers hit the spot to give him better access to the knots in her neck. A soft moan escaped her lips when his nails scraped down her neck and she felt a flush creep up her neck in response to the touch. When she opened her eyes she was greeted by the heat in his and felt a rush of desire.

Jack brought his free hand up to her cheek and leaned in to close the distance between them. "Sam," he murmured, before his lips covered hers.

It was her first kiss since escaping the _ha'tak_ and despite knowing it was Jack, she couldn't help but tense. She knew he noticed when he eased the pressure of his mouth and forced herself to respond, moving her lips lightly against his. They were thin and pliant, undemanding. So unlike Klorel. Closing her eyes, she focused on the feeling of Jack's mouth on hers. The kiss was slow and tentative as they moved against each other.

His thumb caressed her cheek while he tasted her, fueling the low buzz of arousal she felt deep in her belly. She pressed her lips a little harder against his and he responded in kind but kept up the leisurely pace. Heat rushed through her when he sucked gently on her lower lip and she blindly reached for him, sliding her hand into his hair to pull him closer.

She opened her mouth a little and traced his upper lip with the tip of her tongue, eliciting a low groan from him. He kissed her harder, lips sliding wetly over hers. Needing more, she tightened her grip on him and sucked on his lip before bringing teeth and tongue into play until he opened his mouth. Her tongue gained entry and she moaned when she tasted him.

He let her explore before his tongue found hers and they tangled together, reacquainting themselves with each other intimately. After what felt like forever, he took control of the kiss and became more demanding, tasting and stroking.

Sam felt like she was on fire while he explored her mouth and she shifted closer, needing more contact, when he pulled away. Breathlessly, she opened her eyes and smiled at his dazed look.

He leaned back further and wiped a hand at his mouth, breathing hard. "Shit."

"Jack?"

"I shouldn't have… done that," he said, frowning.

Confused, she tried to make sense of what he was saying but her brain was still a bit fuzzy. "I don't understand."

Jack got up and threw her an apologetic look. "I got caught up in… everything. It was too soon."

"Too soon?"

He nodded and made a vague gesture in her direction. "You're still dealing with everything. I shouldn't have taken advantage."

Sam barely had time to come up with a reply before he left the living room. "Jack," she called out, after getting to her feet.

"I'm sorry, Sam," he said, halfway down the hall without turning back.

Upset, she stared at his rigid back, wondering what the hell had just happened. Her lips still tingled from his kisses. "At least talk to me."

He hung his head and groaned, but still didn't face her. "I have to be at the SGC in a few hours. Let's talk when I get back from my mission."

"Okay," she said, swallowing thickly. She watched as he disappeared down the hall without another word. How had they gone from kissing to… this?

Well, at least he hadn't said it was a mistake.


	18. Chapter 18

**Stargate Command**   
**Colorado Springs, CO**   
**January 6, 2000**

The commissary was deserted and Jack was bored. Under normal circumstances, he'd go check on his teammates or just annoy Daniel. But Daniel was invisible, out of phase, in another dimension or whatever. He wondered if Daniel recognized the irony in the situation, considering the archaeologist was usually the one telling Jack not to touch things. This time, however, Daniel was the one who couldn't resist the lure of a crystal skull.

They'd caught a lucky break with Daniel's grandfather, though. Nick had apparently done the same thing a few decades ago and was the only one who could see Daniel and communicate with him. All those years ago, Nick was transported to the planet on which they'd found Daniel's crystal skull from Earth and he'd gone back to normal afterwards. The fact that Teal'c zatted Daniel while the skull did its thing was probably why Daniel was still... gone.

Jack looked up when Doctor Fraiser headed his way with her tray. "Doc."

"Colonel," she replied, before taking a seat opposite him. "Where's the rest of your team?"

"Teal'c is kelno'reeming before the mission. Daniel is supposedly with his grandfather, telling him all about our adventures since we got the stargate to work. Of course, he could also be here, yammering about the cultural importance of giant aliens," he said, glancing around them. "But we wouldn't be able to see or hear him."

Fraiser rolled her eyes and tucked into her dinner. "I hear General Hammond gave permission for you to return to the planet?"

He figured she'd been told because she had to clear Nicholas Ballard for gate travel, "Yeah. It'll probably be a few more hours, though."

"Waiting for the roster to clear?"

"SOP," he confirmed. "There's a few teams who have scheduled check-ins, two that are supposed to return and two more scheduled departures in the next few hours. You know how it is, according to Nick Daniel is doing fine and without an emergency we just have to wait our turn."

She gave him a sympathetic smile, knowing all too well how impatient he was. "Well, at least Daniel isn't suffering any side effects from his current state."

"You mean except for the fact that no one can see or hear him aside from his grandfather, Doc?"

She shrugged and poked at some of the food with her fork. "I figured you might appreciate the reprieve, Sir."

Smirking, he adopted a relaxed posture. "It _is_ kinda nice and quiet."

"Enjoy it while it lasts, Colonel."

"Will do." He watched as she took a sip of water and waited for her to reveal her true motivation for coming to him. When she didn't say anything he sighed, "So, what's the real reason you're here, Doc?"

Fraiser eyed the leftover piece of cake on his plate speculatively. "Just wanted to make sure you were all right. Not feeling any after effects from the muon radiation?"

Jack was instantly on alert and straightened in his seat. "No. Why? You said I was fine after my overnight stay in the infirmary."

"And I wouldn't have cleared you to fly to Oregon, never mind return to active duty if I felt otherwise," she said in her CMO tone. "However, I couldn't help but notice you're not acting like yourself, Sir."

"You think something is wrong with me because I didn't finish my cake?" He asked after her pointed look at the dessert. Even he had to admit it was unusual but not something that warranted a check-up by the CMO.

The Doc sighed, appearing exasperated already. "It's not just the cake, Colonel. It's been going on for a couple of days now and first I thought perhaps it was the muon radiation. Perhaps I was looking in the wrong direction and it has to do with Sam?"

Narrowing his eyes, he felt his defenses rise. Another lecture from her about his relationship with Sam was something he didn't need. Not after the kiss. He'd already been kicking himself the past few days over his lack of self-control. "What makes you think that, Doc?"

"For one, you haven't gone home since your mission to P7X-377."

"Yeah well, I was a little busy what with the effects from being exposed to all that muon radiation and picking up Daniel's grandfather."

Fraiser ignored his snarky tone and reached into her coat's pocket to present him with a folded piece of paper. "Does it have anything to do with this?"

For a moment, he was confused and unfolded the paper. _Oh_. The DNA results. "Did you, um, talk to Sam?"

"If you'd gone home or talked to her on base you would already know the answer. Sir."

"I take it that's a yes?"

She pulled her hand away when he wanted to return the report. "Keep it. I gave Sam a copy this morning. She was the one who asked me to perform the test, after all."

He tucked it into his BDU jacket and made a mental note to put it in his locker before gearing up. "Right."

"My advice, Sir? Talk to her," Fraiser said as she got to her feet. "She's come a long way and I believe you've played an important role in her recovery. There's more than your feelings at stake now."

"Thanks, Doc." That was probably the closest she'd come to apologizing for what she'd said to him over Thanksgiving and he acknowledged it with a curt nod. She'd just been looking out for Sam and Ife, after all. And damn, if there hadn't been some truth to her warning. Hadn't he forced that kiss on Sam when he very well knew she wasn't ready?

Fraiser walked off with her tray, stopping a few feet away to clear it in the designated bin. Turning back to him, she gave him a warm smile. "Oh and Colonel? Congratulations."

She was gone before he could say anything, his mind still on Sam. While it was true that he'd been preoccupied with his stay in the infirmary and flying to and from Oregon, he also had to admit he'd been purposely avoiding her.

Going home had both been tempting and a really bad idea. He wanted to see her and Ife, but knew he wouldn't have enough time once he got there before he had to go back to depart for P7X-377 again. They needed to talk about what happened a few nights ago and that was a conversation he didn't want to have to cut short. Talking had never been his strong suit but he could recognize the need of it. Besides, it wasn't like his recent actions had been his best ideas…

The kiss had been a long time in the making as far as he was concerned. That evening, it had felt like the right moment. She'd had a sort of glow on her face, despite the long day she'd had. Bright smiles, blue eyes matching her dress blues. He could still recall the sight of her long legs, all pale skin with a tiny mole on the inside of her knee, the way the nylon had caught on his fingers. She'd leaned into him, his hand in her hair, fingers massaging her skin, the little tilt of her head…

He'd been lost and gave into the desire to kiss her. She had tensed under him and instead of pulling back he'd selfishly continued, only easing the pressure of his lips on hers. The need to taste her had been overwhelming and he'd ignored the fact that she wasn't ready. When she did respond the heady desire went straight to his head and their tentative kisses had fueled his arousal. Things had grown heated and his mind traveled back to their time in DC. By the time their tongues were tangling around each other he was hard and his hands itched to rip open her blouse and explore her body. He'd barely managed to resist and pull away before he got carried away…

"SG-1 to the briefing room, SG-1 to the briefing room."

He was jerked from his thoughts at the announcement and figured Hammond had found a small window of opportunity for him, Teal'c and Daniel's grandfather to return the crystal skull to its place and get Daniel back. With a last glance at the forlorn piece of cake he got to his feet, picked up his tray and headed for the bin.

* * *

**O'Neill Residence**   
**Colorado Springs, CO**   
**January 7, 2000**

The house was quiet and Sam could feel the tension from the past couple of days fall away as she took a deep breath. She sat cross-legged on the floor and wiggled her bare toes, grimacing when the callus of her right foot scratched against her left thigh.

_Focus_.

Closing her eyes, she tried to close herself off from the world but the flicker of candle light was still visible behind her eyelids. She could hear the wind howling outside and sense Ife on the other side of the house in her playpen. Comfortable and safe.

Sam tried to shake off the distractions and shifted her focus to her breathing. In… out. In… out. She was briefly reminded of the first time Bra'tac tried to teach her to _kelno'reem_ and suppressed a smile. Redoubling her efforts, she turned her focus inwards and let herself relax.

Her heartrate slowed and she concentrated on her heartbeat. Thud… thud… thud. The _kelno'reem_ sessions had been the only thing to bring her some peace and clarity while living off-world and today she was rather in need of both.

Any moment now Jack could come home and they hadn't spoken since the kiss three days ago. Hell, he hadn't even been home and while she'd gotten a few glimpses of his silver hair at the SGC, she got the impression he was actively avoiding her. If Catherine hadn't called her Tuesday evening then she wouldn't even have known about the radiation poisoning…

Nails dug into the palms of her hand and Sam made a conscious effort to rein in her emotions. "Damn it," she muttered, opening her eyes. The whole purpose of _kelno'reeming_ was to clear her head and not get caught up in her thoughts and frustrations from the past couple of days. Sighing, she focused on the flame of the candle in front of her and let the tension ebb away. It was the first time this week that she had a moment to herself and she needed it to prepare herself for her confrontation with Jack.

Shortly after closing her eyes, she could feel the world around her fall away, her breathing and heartbeat the only things grounding her. Her lips started tingling as she thought back to Monday evening and a warmth spread out over her whole body. The kiss had started out gentle and cautious, perhaps even a bit clumsy, but it had gotten heated quickly.

Jack's reaction had hurt but most of all left her confused. He'd been the one to initiate the kiss and she was perceptive enough to know the passion that took hold of her hadn't been one-sided. She could easily picture the look on his face from when he'd broken off the kiss and apologized. She frowned, recalling his words. They'd spent pretty much every day together since she'd sort of moved in three months ago. How could it be too soon?

For some reason, Jack thought he'd taken advantage of her and that didn't sit well with Sam. How could he think that to be true? If she hadn't wanted to kiss him, she wouldn't have responded as eagerly as she had. And how could he have misinterpreted her reaction?

He'd just walked off and went to bed, leaving her in the living room. Highly aroused, aching and terribly confused.

Sam thought she'd made it pretty clear she was interested in exploring what was between them, but what if she hadn't? Or perhaps he thought she'd only gone along with it out of gratefulness for all his help? She shook her head, dismissing the idea. It wasn't a simple case of gratitude or transference because of their current living situation – or the way he'd risked his life to get her home.

Jack assumed she wasn't ready for more, even though she'd given every indication. At the cabin when they were celebrating Christmas and at the evenings they'd spent on the sofa together at the house since then. She was aware of the caution that accompanied his every touch and it didn't take a genius to figure out why he was so careful around her. She'd been opening up more with him lately, telling him about her years off-world but perhaps it was time to share some of the more… intimate truths. The ones she'd kept to herself all this time.

He obviously thought she was traumatized and perhaps felt like she was emotionally vulnerable when he'd kissed her. She appreciated his consideration but she didn't want their relationship – if they took whatever it was between them any further – to be marred by what happened to her. For every word to be double-checked before it left his mouth or every touch to be hesitant and careful.

Even the kiss had started out cautious and she _knew_ any intimacy between them could be different. Better.

A memory from two years ago came to mind unbidden; Jack playing pool in a bar and grill in Washington DC, shamelessly flirting with her, his accidental touches full of purpose. She held onto it and dug deep for more memories of their meeting. For once, she was going to use the technique Bra'tac taught her to delve into her own memories, rather than Herit's.

The banter, flirting over a game of pool, going to his hotel room… Her core temperature spiked when she thought back to how they'd spent the night. For once, she was almost grateful for the circumstances that had led to her learning how to kelno'reem as the images played out in her mind in Technicolor. Memories had never been this vivid. Now, she could practically feel the touch of his hands on her body, his lips kissing along her neck, his hot breath on her skin…

The sex had been good, too. It had felt like more than a one-night stand, she'd felt a connection to him and she remembered how she would have liked to explore it if he hadn't been Air Force and stationed in a different state.

The thought seemed silly now.

Sam's eyes popped open. Even back then she'd wanted more and so had he, so why were they suddenly so insecure about their intentions and feelings? Jack had wanted more than a night of sex but she'd brushed him off at the time. Since then he'd showed her he cared for her – and Ife – in many ways and he'd initiated the kiss.

She was just trying to come up with a way to convince Jack of it when she heard the front door open and close. The shuffle of feet in the entry told her Jack was probably taking off their coat. A few seconds later she heard the familiar footfall move father away. He was heading for the living room from the sounds of it, where Ife was no doubt thrilled to see him again.

Sighing, Sam gave up on her attempts to _kelno'reem_. It hadn't achieved anything aside from making her remember what it had been like to be with Jack. Her mind was no clearer than before she'd started and she could feel frustration crawl up her spine again.

"Time to face the music," she muttered.

Taking care of all the candles took her a minute or two and then she dashed into the bathroom to check out her reflection. The events from the past week had taken their toll and she hadn't gone shopping yet for makeup to hide the dark circles under her eyes, but she figured Jack had seen her looking worse. Letting out a sigh of resignation, she ran a hand through her hair before leaving the bathroom.

She heard Jack speaking in low tones to their daughter before she saw him. He was sitting on the sofa, with Ife in his lap beaming up at him. For a moment, Sam simply stood there watching, drinking in the sight of Jack with their daughter. He flashed a smile at Ife and started tickling her, making their girl squirm as she erupted into giggles. His grin was full of adoration while playing and then he whispered something, before leaning in and blowing a raspberry into Ife's neck.

Sam's heart constricted at the high-pitched squeals of laughter and Jack's low chuckles and then it swelled with pride and love as she watched the two most important people in her life. She released a shaky breath and unclenched her fists at the realization. Maybe she hadn't spoken the words aloud, but she knew them to be true – and as she let their interaction of the past few months pass her mind's eye, she knew Jack felt the same way about her and Ife.

Then, as if he could read her thoughts, Jack looked up and caught her gaze. He didn't seem surprised, but the soft smile on his face faded slowly to be replaced with a more guarded look. She hated that blank mask. "Hey."

"She missed you," Sam said, after clearing her throat and nodding at their daughter.

"And I missed my favorite munchkin."

Sam smiled as he followed up his reply with a kiss to Ife's little nose. Taking a deep breath, she steeled her nerves and waited until he looked her way again. "I missed you, too."

His eyes widened and it pleased her that he was unable to check his reaction. He swallowed visibly and hugged Ife tightly, looking at her over their girl's head. "Me too, Sam."

"How are you?" She asked, stepping closer and wringing her hands. Even in the dim lighting she could tell he looked good, healthy albeit tired, and a weight was lifted. "Catherine told me about the muon radiation."

"She shouldn't have."

She sat down next to him, smiling as Ife sprawled herself all over Jack's chest and pressed her little face into his neck. Reaching out, she squeezed their daughter's foot. "I told Catherine about Ife's paternity, although I'm pretty sure she already had her suspicions. That's the reason she told me."

He covered her hand and Ife's foot with his much larger hand and sighed. "That's precisely why she shouldn't have told you. You had enough going on being back on duty. I was fine."

"You collapsed and Teal'c had to carry you back to the stargate."

"I'll admit, it wasn't one of my finer moments," he said lightly.

"Jack…"

He ignored her rolling her eyes and entwined his fingers with hers, "I didn't want you to worry."

"You're Ife's father and I… care about you," she said slowly. "I may not technically have any rights to know, but you should have told me. Instead, you kept it from me and I found out from Catherine when it was too late to get a babysitter and come visit you in the infirmary."

"That's exactly why I didn't tell you. There was nothing you could have done and the Doc let me go the next day because I was perfectly fine."

Sam bit her lip and twisted her fingers around his, before looking up into his dark eyes. "I dropped Ife off early at the Dixons and visited you in the infirmary. You weren't fine, Jack." When he frowned, she held up her hand to forestall any questions, "It was still early and Doctor Fraiser told me you'd finally fallen into a deep sleep, after all the restlessness and running hot and cold earlier."

He scrubbed his free hand over his face and huffed out a breath. "I couldn't really sleep until the Doc gave me the good stuff. You were there?"

"For a little while." She wasn't going to tell him she'd sat at his bedside for nearly two hours, watching him sleep. "I didn't want to wake you and figured I'd check on you again in my coffee break, but you were gone by the time I got there."

"The Doc cleared me to fly to Oregon and pick up Daniel's grandfather."

Sam reached out and brushed a stray lock of hair from Ife's face and sighed, catching his eye. "I'd hoped you would come home afterwards. You didn't. All I got was a vague voicemail with some excuse to avoid me."

He gaped at her for a moment, "I didn't… Sam, I-"

"Because of the kiss, right?"

"I figured it would be best to give you some space," he said, grimacing.

She leaned and picked Ife up from his lap, waiting for the girl to wrap her arms around her neck to get to her feet to pace the living room. "No, you wanted space. You kissed me, then you walked away and avoided me for the rest of the week."

Jack sighed and ran a hand through his hair, looking a little lost. He threw her a pained look before shaking his head and peering at the fire. The silence stretched between them as he worked his jaw, tension radiating from him. "I shouldn't have kissed you that night," he said, holding up his hand to forestall a response, "but I also meant what I said about talking about if after the mission. Just didn't expect the damn mission to take the better part of the week."

"But Daniel is okay, right?"

"Yeah, he's fine. More than fine, actually, now that he and Nick have something in common."

She nodded in acknowledgment and pushed away the bit of guilt she felt over not asking about his friend's status earlier. She was just… a little preoccupied. Looking at Jack, she felt some of her earlier frustrations ebb away. "Why don't you take Ife to bed and then we'll talk?"

Relief visibly washed over him and he got to his feet, stretching out his arms to take their daughter from her. "Dixon told me his wife is nuts about her."

"Ife's been good," she confirmed. "A bit quiet and not yet playing with the other children, but then they're a bit older."

"Dixon's always complaining about how boisterous his kids are, so that doesn't surprise me. But Ife's doing okay with the whole separation thing?"

Sam smiled when he took the girl from her and nuzzled her dark mop of hair. "She's a bit clingy when I pick her up in the afternoons but it gets better in the evenings. She was already doing better today. I think she'd like her daddy to tuck her in now, though."

The look on Jack's face nearly melted her heart and the grin he flashed her sent her hormones in overdrive. Then he turned his attention back to Ife, "What do you say, munchkin? You tired yet? How about I'll read you a bedtime story and then you'll catch some zees so mommy and daddy can talk?"

"Tired," Ife said, snuggling closer. "Daddy."

"Good night, sweetie."

Jack beamed at her and waited while she stepped forward to press a kiss to Ife's cheek, before he turned around and headed for the bedroom.

Sam paced the living room while he was gone, her mind going over all the possible scenarios for their conversation the way she'd run simulations at the SGC all week. There were other things they needed to discuss as well but everything boiled down to their relationship, including the kiss. She knew she wanted more than what they currently had and considering he'd made the first move, she suspected he felt the same way but was worried about forcing anything on her.

If they kept this up, they'd get exactly nowhere and that wasn't what she wanted.

Sighing, she stopped pacing and tried to decide on the best way to broach the subject. Her gaze landed on the photographs on the mantel and she smiled when she spotted the one of her and Ife at Thanksgiving – Jack had left one for her on her nightstand and shortly after they'd returned from the cabin she'd noticed the framed copy on his mantel. There were a few photographs of Charlie too, in some he was pictured alone or with Jack and in one with Jack's ex-wife Sara.

Sam reached out to touch the frame of the Thanksgiving photograph and she wondered if Daniel had taken one of Jack with Ife as well that evening. It was worth inquiring. Especially now that General Hammond knew Jack was Ife's father and Doctor Fraiser had the DNA test to prove it. Jack deserved a picture of himself with his daughter.

Just as Sam started wondering whether Ife was being extremely clingy with Jack or if he needed a moment to himself after the 'Daddy'-thing she heard his footsteps heading away from the bedroom. Suddenly feeling nervous about the decision she'd made, she straightened up and waited for him to join her in the living room.

After a few minutes, Jack showed up, having detoured to the kitchen from the looks of the beer in his hand. He pulled up beside her, eying the two photographs of Ife and Charlie side by side. "It's gonna take some getting used to," he muttered, taking a swig of beer.

"You're her father."

"Yeah."

Sam briefly touched his arm before pulling her hand away again, "It's going to get out soon."

He looked up from his beer, holding her gaze. "Fraiser handed me the DNA results."

"I know." She didn't mention that she'd have told him herself or that he could have known she and Doctor Fraiser had talked about it if he hadn't avoided her for the past few days, but from the way he winced she knew he'd heard it anyway.

"Does Hammond know? I didn't stick around to ask after my debrief… I wanted to get home," he added.

She nodded and grabbed the beer from him, taking a sip. "He said he'd report it to his superiors next week, if you'd be back by then. He wanted to give us the opportunity to brace ourselves, I suppose."

He didn't say anything when she handed him the bottle, but his gaze lingered on her lips. "Let's hope we won't have to."

"I talked to Major Davis."

"Yeah?"

She rolled her eyes at his typical reaction and started pacing again. Moving around helped her think. "He's hopeful things will go our way."

Jack made a noncommittal sound before taking another swig. "Good."

"My finances are in order. All I need to do is open a new account and I'll get the money the Air Force owes me for my supposed undercover mission."

"Oh."

From the corner of her eye, she'd noticed how he barely managed to suppress his emotions before the blank mask reappeared. "He also wanted to know if we wanted to add another name to Ife's new birth certificate. I told him she'd take your surname," she said slowly, "but that I'd talk to you and get back to him. You weren't part of her life until recently, but as her father you have a say in her name."

His dark eyes settled on her face, almost as if searching for something. Then, the corners of his mouth tipped up in a small smile. He held her gaze and lifted his hand to caress her cheek, before dropping it to his side again. "No. Ife is perfect."

"Jack…"

"So," he said, turning away and setting his beer on the coffee table. "Have you decided what you're going to do when you have the money? Last you mentioned, it was a down payment for a house or apartment in Colorado Springs or the possibility of living elsewhere."

Sam recognized the way he tried to put some distance between them and sighed. The walls had been erected and suddenly he looked more like Colonel O'Neill than Jack. Taking a chance, she stepped up to him and slipped her hands around his neck, pulling him down for a kiss. He froze when their lips touched and this time, she took control. She brushed her lips against his until they tingled and then he responded, slowly.

She took another step until she was pressed up against his chest and let her tongue peek out to run it along the seam of his lips. When his hands settled on her hips, she slipped one hand into his hair and exerted more pressure with her mouth until he opened his. His tongue welcomed hers when she ran her tip along his teeth and a moan escaped her when she tasted him. "Jack…"

He pulled her closer, arms wrapping around her and his tongue slid against hers. They explored, teased and tasted until the need for air became too much. Jack was panting when he broke off the kiss, his chest heaving against her. "That was unexpected."

"I wanted to kiss you," she said, breathlessly.

He smirked, rubbing his thumb along her lips. "I figured."

Rolling her eyes, she tried to ignore the delicious feelings he evoked in her. "I also wanted you to kiss me that evening."

"Sam-"

"I wanted you to kiss me," she repeated, interrupting him. "And I don't care about the money. I don't want to move out. That night in DC? I'd never felt that way with anyone before and it pissed me off that it was with you, some Air Force guy who didn't even live in the same state."

He chuckled as he disentangled himself from her, "I didn't want you to go."

She remembered. "I felt the potential for more that night. At the time, it probably scared me a little, especially after my previous relationship."

"And then everything went to hell in a handbasket," he said solemnly.

"It did," she acknowledged, "but the potential is still there. Jesus Jack, you risked a hell of a lot to bring me back and you offered me a place to stay, accepted Ife as your own and even offered to adopt her to prevent any possible consequences of the truth coming out."

He made a face and took a step backwards, "Sam-"

She shook her head and grabbed his hands with both of hers. "I'm not finished yet. This isn't about gratitude or transference or whatever you want to call it. Look, we both know we care about the other and Ife. And I think somewhere down the line, I fell in love with you. I want you, Jack. I want all of you in every way: as my friend, partner, lover and father to Ife. If that's not what you want, then I can accept that but don't back out because you think I'm not ready or that you're taking advantage of me."

"It's not about what I want," he said, his dark eyes intense. "It's about what you need."

"I need you."

"And I'm here for you, I'll always be there for you. But you're still recovering from everything you went through, Sam. This isn't the right time to-"

She put her fingers on his lips to stop him and shook her head. "I know what I want and what I need."

He smiled sadly and caught her fingers with his hand. "But it's okay to not be ready yet. There's no rush. I know you'll get there, but it's going to take time. Kissing you when you were emotionally vulnerable-"

"But I wasn't," she countered. "I was ready… it had just been a long time since someone kissed me and even longer since it wasn't in a malicious way."

"I shouldn't have pushed."

Sam grabbed his head and forced him to look at her, "Did you ever consider that maybe you weren't pushing me but that I was holding back?"

Frowning, he stared at her. "You have every right to hold back, Sam."

"I'm not some fragile girl who doesn't know what she wants," she said. "I went through a lot of stuff off-world and no, I haven't worked through all of it yet. But I'm back on Earth now. I'm here, with you. I want _you_."


	19. Chapter 19

**Garden of the Gods**   
**Colorado Springs, CO**   
**January 8, 2000**

The wind had picked up and Sam shivered at the cold gust. Temperatures were just above freezing but she'd always been prone to feeling cold, even more so after losing a lot of weight off-world. Up in the mountains it was even colder and she was starting to regret wearing her new winter coat over just a sweater of Jack's and a pair of jeans. There was an added benefit to foregoing her gloves though…

Inching a little closer to Jack, she reached for his hand and a whole different kind of shiver ran down her back when his callused palm slid over hers as he entwined their fingers. The man was like a furnace and she welcomed his body heat seeping into her through her coat when he tugged on her hand to pull her into his side. The dimpled smile he flashed her made her heart skip a beat.

"Are you cold?"

She wrapped her free hand around his arm to keep him as close as possible and smiled up at him, shaking her head. "Not anymore."

"No wonder Bra'tac rarely took you to cold planets," he teased.

"Must be your Minnesotan roots."

He chuckled and leaned a little closer, "Actually, I was born in Chicago."

Sam frowned, recalling what little he'd told her about himself at the cabin. "But your grandparents are from Minnesota?"

"They lived there for most of their lives, grandpa built the cabin himself," he said, shrugging. "I was practically raised there."

"Ah, so it's your upbringing then."

He glanced over to where their daughter was walking a few feet ahead of them and winked, "Guess that means there's still hope for Ife."

Watching their little girl, all bundled up, walking along the trail, oohing and aahing every now and then at something made Sam smile. "Oh, she's rarely cold. Must get that from you. I used to wonder about that…"

"Yeah?"

His hopeful smile tore at her heart and she pressed herself a little closer to him, "All the time."

"Charlie was like that, too. He loved being outdoors and it used to drive Sara crazy when he just ran outside without putting a coat on, even when it was snowing or freezing."

"I'm just glad Ife's finally at the stage in which she keeps her clothes on indoors. Guess she's gotten used to Earth clothing. And look, she's still wearing her hat, too."

Jack followed her line of sight. "Still a big no on the footwear though."

They'd gotten her new boots for the cold weather but Ife kept trying to squirm out of them, even working her way up to a temper tantrum earlier that day when Jack had tried to put them on her feet. "She likes her leather booties."

"She'll grow out of them eventually."

"Maybe that's a good thing. Once they become too small she might think normal shoes or boots are more comfortable. I have to say, going back to regular footwear was an adjustment for me, too. The pair of sandals I got at an off-world market were practically custom made and fit me perfectly."

He shrugged and made a noncommittal sound as he watched Ife. "As long as her feet stay dry and warm, I suppose."

Sam smiled and leaned into him a little closer, letting her gaze take in their surroundings. The park was lovely and it warmed her heart to see their daughter in her element. It was no wonder, really, considering the lives they'd had before she'd brought Ife to Earth. They'd basically lived outdoors and the fresh, clean air and wild nature sort of felt like home to Sam, too. Oddly enough, the life she'd had in Washington DC didn't appeal to her at all anymore. "I love it out here."

"It's a nice change of scenery from the base."

"There certainly aren't views like this at the SGC," she said, stopping to look out at the snow-topped mountains. They'd followed one of the trails in the smaller mountains, not wanting to make it too hard on Ife – or themselves when she tired out and needed carrying – and Sam could already feel a mild burn in her calves. Their short hikes at the cabin didn't compare, especially not in combination with the terrain. The last time she'd covered such a distance hadn't been on Earth.

Jack simply bumped her shoulder with his as he stood next to her and smirked. "Glad you agreed to check it out?"

After mentioning that she'd felt a little cooped up, he'd made the suggestion to go out and at her wary reaction he'd suggested Garden of the Gods. Despite everything, the idea of being among a lot of other people – strangers – still didn't appeal to her. He understood, like he always seemed to do. "It was a great idea."

"Figured you and Ife would like it."

"Have you been here before?"

He sighed deeply, sorrow flitting across his face before he nodded briefly, "Yeah."

She hesitated but could practically feel the anguish radiating off him. "Charlie?"

"He loved coming out here," Jack said, staring out in the distance. "I used to take him hiking or mountain biking all the time when I was stateside. Sara called it our bonding time – and she was right, it was the only time I spent with just him in between missions. She'd bring him up here in the summer when I wasn't around, but he always said it wasn't the same because she wasn't into biking or hiking. But he liked the exhibits, too."

"So he was the outdoorsy type like his Dad?"

Jack smiled at that, but it was laced with a pain she couldn't even begin to imagine. "He'd become a Junior Ranger just a few weeks before he died."

Sam squeezed his hand in silent support, unsure of what she could possibly say to ease his hurt, and let her gaze land on their unsuspecting daughter. Ife had plucked some of the long grass and wildflowers and was alternatively chewing on them and brushing them against her face, a happy little smile on her face.

"Charlie kept asking me to take him rock climbing," he said, gesturing in the direction of the tall mountains. "I promised to teach him when he was older, because I thought it was too dangerous."

Her heart broke a little at his mirthless chuckle, the irony not lost on her. "Jack…"

He scrubbed a hand over his face and cleared his throat, looking at her earnestly. "Sorry, I shouldn't have-"

"Don't ever apologize for talking about your son."

"Sam…" he frowned, trailing off.

She reached up slowly, pausing for a moment before gently running her fingers through his silver hair. He leaned into the gentle caress with a softness in his eyes that stole her breath away. She could feel the connection between them, intimate and strong, as they stood like that for what felt like an eternity. "Jack," she said, "Charlie is always going to be a part of you."

He closed his eyes, taking a shuddering breath. The grip on her hand tightened, but he didn't say anything.

"You've been there for Ife and me this whole time, but that goes both ways. I'm here for you, too," she added, running the back of her hand along his jaw as she pulled back.

Jack caught her hand and brushed her knuckles with his thumb, the corners of his mouth curling upwards. Then, he let go and cupped her face in both hands, pressing his lips to hers.

The kiss lasted only a few seconds, but the powerful emotions behind it left her unsteady on her feet. Her eyes had fallen closed and when she opened them, he was smirking and his eyes twinkled. After giving her another all-too brief kiss he leaned back and walked over to their daughter, a noticeable bounce in his step.

Sam couldn't help but chuckle as he went, even though her body was still feeling the effects of his kiss. She watched as he knelt next to Ife and took one of the flowers from her. He twirled the flower between his fingers with a little grin and then reached out and touched it to the end of her nose, making her giggle with delight, both at his antics and, Sam thought, at his smile.

He looked over his shoulder and caught her gaze, a lopsided grin on his handsome face. "You gonna come with us? We're getting hungry," he said, turning back to Ife. "Aren't we, munchkin?"

"Yes!" Ife smirked and rocked on the balls of her feet, flowers dangling from her hands. "Food, Daddy."

"There's a picnic area over there," Jack said, gesturing ahead.

Following his line of sight, Sam could just make out half a dozen picnic tables. The sun was out, the wind had died down and she was no longer cold. Perfect. She joined the two of them just as Jack effortlessly scooped Ife up into his arms. Smiling, she reached out to right Ife's woolly hat and took the pack Jack was carrying from him, to ease his burden. The pack contained lunch, drinks and some snacks, so it wasn't very heavy but she felt like doing something. Slipping her hand around his upper arm, she bumped his shoulder playfully. "Let's go."

Jack fell in step with her and slipped his free arm around her waist, resting just below the pack, while he held Ife on his hip with the other. "You feel like eating?"

"I can eat." The hike had worn Sam out a little and her stomach was rumbling already. Someone was using a propane grill over at the picnic area and the smell made her mouth water. She quickened her pace, eager to find a table for them to sit at. They might not have a grill or any burgers, but she'd made _pes_ that morning and she hadn't eaten the loaf-thing since returning to Earth.

"Think those people over there are leaving," Jack said, after scanning the picnic area.

They bypassed a table in the shade – the only empty seats – and went straight for the one where an older couple appeared to be cleaning up their things. Jack put Ife on her own two feet when she started squirming in his hold and they watched as their daughter walked ahead of them in as determined a stride she could muster at her age.

Jack quirked a brow as the normally shy toddler stepped up to the picnic table and started climbing onto the empty seat. "Guess she's really hungry," he muttered.

The couple at the table chuckled at Ife's impatience. "We're almost done," the man, who had at least a decade on Jack, said as finished collecting their trash. "Your mommy and daddy can take our seats."

"Thank you," Sam said, smiling at the look on Jack's face. Ife had started calling him daddy pretty soon but aside from Mary, Joe, General Hammond and Doctor Fraiser they hadn't told anyone else about Ife's paternity yet.

"Have a lovely day," the woman said, before the couple walked off.

Jack sat down next to Ife and pulled her into his lap, smiling as Ife snuggled up against him. "I think the munchkin is getting tired," he told Sam.

From the looks of it, he was right. Not too surprising considering the long hike they'd had. After coming to Earth Ife had started walking more, since the need to carry her and keep her safe wasn't as dire as it had been off-world. Her leg muscles had been slightly underdeveloped for her age but Sam was hopeful that Ife's delay in physical development would be non-existent soon, considering how active Ife had become. An appointment with a specialized pediatrician – with clearance – was in two weeks, so they'd know how much of an improvement Ife had made soon enough. "I can carry her to the truck after lunch."

"Nah, I'll do it," he said, pressing a kiss to Ife's hair. "No offense, but you look a little tired yourself."

"I just need to rest my feet for a bit and eat something," Sam said, as she opened the pack.

Jack took the thermos from her and poured them both a cup of coffee while she unpacked the rest of their lunch. He broke off a piece of the loaf and handed it to Ife, who started munching right away. "What's this stuff called again?"

" _Pes_. It's somewhere between bread and cake, I think."

"Jaffa recipe?"

She nodded and gestured at their daughter. "It used to be her favorite meal, aside from the sweet fruits."

He smirked, "Can't blame her. It's cake!"

"She gets her sweet tooth from you."

"The kid's got your looks and probably your brain too," he countered, "it's only fair she gets some of my bad habits to balance things out."

* * *

**O'Neill Residence**   
**Colorado Springs, CO**   
**January 9, 2000**

Jack smiled as he locked gazes with Sam. Her blue eyes were watching him and while slightly darker from her dilated pupils, he could have sworn they were twinkling. The first time he laid eyes on her he thought she was beautiful but when she wore the grin that showed her dimples and made her eyes twinkle, she was utterly gorgeous. She'd been smiling more like that lately and it was mesmerizing, drawing him in. He traced her features with his eyes and reached out, following up with his fingers. Her skin was soft and warm, her flush deepening under his ministrations.

Unable to resist the temptation, he tipped up her chin and captured her lips with his in a slow, exploring kiss. He couldn't remember the last time he'd spent an evening just making out with a woman, probably sometime before he was legally an adult and the woman in question was, in fact, still a girl. And back then, he'd seen it as a means to an end. Not tonight. He and Sam had decided to take things slow; taking their time to explore what was between them.

He leaned in and kissed her again, eyes closed and all his senses focused on the feel and taste of her. Her full lips moved wetly along his unhurried and he felt a stab of longing in his gut when she pushed her tongue in his mouth. She tasted like the strawberries she'd snacked on while watching the now abandoned movie. His fingers twitched and he had to stop himself from pulling her even closer when she moaned, not wanting to spook or crowd her. Instead, he tangled his tongue with hers briefly before breaking off the kiss and taking a deep breath.

When he opened his eyes she was flushed, her lips swollen and her eyes nearly black with arousal. One of her hands had been in his hair and she pulled it back, sliding her hand along his jaw. She let it rest on his chest, just above his heart. "Jack," she said breathlessly.

Using his thumb, he brushed her lower lip. She was beautiful and he had to remind himself that he had no intention of taking this any further than making out. The taste of her was addictive though and being this close to her, touching, kissing, tasting was fueling his desires. He liked kissing her. Liked it a lot. Besides, he already knew they were pretty spectacular together in the bedroom, but the kissing and getting to know each other part they'd pretty much skipped back in DC.

"What?"

He realized he'd probably been staring at her for a little too long and smirked, "Nothin'."

Her eyes narrowed in suspicion, but she didn't say anything. Instead, she rubbed her sock-clad feet against his bare ones, her toes dragging the leg of his pants up to his calves. "Well, if you're not going to tell me you might as well use your mouth for other purposes," she murmured, before bridging the inches separating them for another kiss.

The moment their lips touched he groaned, welcoming the feelings she elicited in him. The hand he had on her waist tightened but he didn't pull her closer. The rough fabric under his palm was a sharp contrast with the fluffy socks against his calves and the softness of her cheek. The sensations combined with her taste and the scent of her skin were almost too much. He nearly lost it when she shifted and her hip brushed against his erection, his fingers digging into her shirt and he thrust his tongue in her mouth while simultaneously pulling her closer with a hand at the back of her head.

"Jack." She broke off the kiss to grasp his hip as he moved his lower half away from her. "Stop."

"Shit," he hissed, biting his lip. He'd hoped she wouldn't notice or at least ignore his arousal like he did. "I'm sorry, Sam-"

Placing her free fingers on his lips she shushed him. "Don't apologize, either. I know you have no control over that kind of reaction."

He made a face, "Yeah, well, I don't want you to… feel pressured or anything. Just, ignore it."

"Jack, it's fine," she said, her blue eyes shining earnestly. "Honestly, it's perfectly normal. It's not, I don't know, freaking me out, if that's what you're worried about."

"We're taking things slowly," he reminded her, brushing a lock of hair behind her ear.

Sam smiled with a steely determination in her eyes that he recognized from the times they'd met off-world and it distracted him long enough for her to shift and push back against him. Her breath hitched while he barely contained a groan, his gaze drawn to her full lips. "Yeah," she said, her voice throaty, "slow. But there's no point denying… or avoiding… this."

His eyes fluttered closed when she moved again and he dropped his forehead to hers. Even the lightest brush felt exquisite and he let out a shuddering breath. Sam's breathing was equally unsteady and he hoped it was for the right reasons. Opening his eyes, he saw the unbridled lust on her face and had to look away, before he did something he would regret. "Sam…"

"Hmm?" She asked, dragging her gaze away from where their lower bodies were touching.

"You know this isn't…" He gently pushed her hips away from his and leaned up on his elbow, trying to create some space between them before he'd falter. He hadn't expected her to be so… forward, and while it was hot, it was also tearing at his self-restraint. Frowning, he waited until he had her full attention, making a vague gesture to encompass the living room, "I really meant for us to just watch a movie tonight. Relax a little…" Maybe some kissing, like the night before. But he didn't mention it, still convinced he should let her set the pace. "What I'm trying to say is that I hadn't planned any of… this."

She gave him a wicked grin as she traced the outline of dog tags underneath his shirt. "Maybe you didn't."

He did a double take at her whispered confession but her mouth was on his before he could utter a word. Instinct took over though and he was quick to respond, his tongue slipping between her parted lips to taste her again. The moment their tongues tangled together a bolt of desire shot straight to his groin and it took all his self-restraint to keep his hips impassive.

"Jack," Sam murmured, breaking off the kiss.

"Yeah?"

Her swollen lips curved into a smile when he traced them with his thumb and she waited until he was looking at her eyes before she spoke. "You can touch me, you know," she said, smoothing a hand down his shirt. "I promise I won't break."

He caught her hand with his, keeping it in place on his chest. "I told you, I don't want to rush this. You went through a traumatic experience, Sam. We can take all the time you need. And hey, fragile is the last word I'd use to describe you – I know what you've been through and you're one of the strongest, most resilient people I know."

"And I told you that I want to move forward with you," she countered, "I don't want to keep looking back."

"It's not about looking back," Jack tried to tell her. "It's about not putting you in a position to remember what you went through."

She turned her head away from him as something flashed over her face, gone before he could identify it. Her hand dropped from his chest and she plucked idly at her sweatpants, working her jaw and suddenly the atmosphere between them was charged with a different kind of tension. A moment later her gaze locked on his, frustration written all over her face. "You're not him. You think I don't know that?"

His heart ached for her at the hurt in her tone and he silently berated himself for upsetting her. To think he always accused Daniel of having bad timing… but at the same time, he also knew this was a subject they needed to broach, even if he didn't particularly want to talk about it. Shifting, he sat a little more upright, his ardor cooling quickly. "I know." He sighed, trying to find the right words. "I know that when we're doing this," he gestured between them, "you're here with me. But I also know that pretty much anything can trigger the bad stuff."

"I'm not going to deny there's bad stuff," she said, chuckling hollowly. Effortlessly, she followed his example and sat up, shifting until they were side by side, turned towards each other. "Back at the SGC, I looked up the CCTV from when Apophis was there. I know what he told all of you and that you had a little private chat with him about me."

"Sam-"

She forestalled his response with a hand on his arm. "And I'm pretty sure Teal'c and Moac probably filled you in on what Herit's role was as Klorel's mate."

Jack really didn't need the reminder. Apophis had taken great pleasure in telling him about 'his woman', even Skaara had tried to talk about it and Sam was right that both Teal'c and Moac had told him a little bit about her role. He swallowed against the bile rising in his throat and pushed his discomfort to the recesses of his mind. Right now, Sam needed him to be supportive, not show his disgust or sympathy. "Some of it, yeah."

"Do you know what the _Rite of Un_ _ḥ_ _er_ _ȧ_ _m setcherit_ is?"

"Is that… the, um, mating ritual?" He was pretty bad at the Goa'uld language and all the different rites and other cultural stuff they and the Jaffa had, but one look at Sam's face told him all he needed to know. Anger welled up in him at the injustice of it all and he clenched his fists, trying to hide his reaction from her.

To her credit, she didn't look away and he was once again amazed by her strength. "Do you know what it entails?"

"Teal'c didn't elaborate and Daniel said he couldn't find anything about it in his research." He noticed her minute reaction and it took him a minute to realize the brief flash of relief in her eyes probably had more to do with Daniel – and what Sha're undoubtedly went through as well – than her.

"It's an ancient ritual," Sam said, in an almost clinically detached voice. "It dates back to when the Unas were taken as hosts. I doubt it's written down anywhere."

"Oh."

Her smile was brittle as she started to explain, but she didn't falter and soldiered on. "Goa'uld rarely want to share their power but when they do, it's usually with offspring or mates. To ensure a mate's loyalty and cement their standing among their slaves, the Goa'uld have the mating ritual. It's a primal display of submissiveness and dominance. The less powerful Goa'uld submits and the dominant one… accepts it and, in Klorel's case, gives power in return."

Jack's mind was already filling in the blanks, he didn't need her to elaborate on the ritual. Back in the early days of the Program he'd had his own experience with primal behavior when half the base got infected with an alien virus and really, what primitive behavior would a simple Unas resort to in order to display their dominance over a female? The mention of power threw him for a moment, until he recalled the Goa'uld tech she'd had on her. "A ribbon device."

"It's a sign of trust. He hands Herit a weapon and she, er, submits to him."

"… and then it's official?" He asked, after clearing his throat to dispel the images his mind conjured.

"Apophis used the ceremony to cement both their standing as his lieutenants, in order for Klorel and Herit to take his second mothership to attack Earth."

He frowned, "Apophis was there?"

Sam nodded mutely, gnawing her lip. "It's a… public ritual."

"Oh."

"All the important Jaffa and Goa'uld are present as witnesses, to relay the news to those under their command."

Fighting to keep his feelings in check, Jack reached for her hand in silent support. "Sam-"

She quirked a smile as she looked down at his hand covering hers, before turning questioning eyes on him. "Do you remember what I told you about the pregnancy-"

"-and how it allowed you to stay in control of Herit?"

"Yeah."

When she simply kept staring at him intently, he suddenly realized what she wasn't telling him and swallowed hard. "That was before…?"

"Apophis and Klorel were in a rush. I was put in the sarcophagus before and after the implantation, to make it easier for Herit to take over."

"Except she couldn't because of the baby," he finished.

Sam shook her head, "Not without causing a miscarriage."

"You were in control during the ritual."

"She warned me beforehand, sort of," she said, an unreadable expression on her face. "The prospect of what was to come amused her."

Jack squeezed her hand and gritted his teeth, "God, Sam."

Squaring her shoulders, she locked gazes with him. "I knew what was in store for me and I made the decision to pretend to be Herit, to keep the baby and hopefully prevent an attack on Earth."

"Jesus-"

"I did what I did to survive, Jack. That might seem difficult to grasp now, but back then the decision was easy even though I despised what I had to do. So yeah, there was plenty of bad stuff."

He'd seen her in the midst of nightmares and didn't need convincing. But up until now, he'd only had a suspicion of what she'd gone through. "You know," he said, clearing his throat, "you're a pretty remarkable woman, Samantha Carter."

A genuine smile briefly appeared on her lips, lighting up her face. Then, she turned serious again and sighed. "I hate some of the things I was forced to do, but I'm not a traumatized rape victim, Jack."

"You can't go through all of that and just forget about it," he warned her.

"I know. The therapy sessions with Doctor MacKenzie are supposed to help me cope. With his advice, I'll find a way to learn to live with it."

Slowly, Jack reached up to cup her face in his hands. "Yeah, you will."

She mirrored his pose and leaned forward, pressing a light kiss to his lips. Smiling, she took one of his hands in hers and squeezed it, "I'm getting tired. I think I'll turn in."

"I'm gonna call it a night too." He got to his feet and pulled her with him, smiling when she leaned into him a little longer than necessary. Holding her hand, he guided her to the back of the house, stopping once they reached her room – technically, his bedroom. He looked in when she opened the door, the light from the hallway providing enough illumination to make out their sleeping daughter in the middle of his bed.

Jack wasn't sure how to read the look Sam was giving him and right now, he didn't really trust his instincts. His feelings were all jumbled up from their evening together and he felt both humbled by her opening up and the strong desire to make everything better for her. So, instead of kissing her like he wanted, he caressed her cheek. "You gonna be okay?"

She quirked a smile, "I will be. Good night, Jack."

"Good night," he whispered, as she leaned in and pressed a kiss to his cheek. He waited until she'd entered the ensuite to close the bedroom door and make his way to the guest room.


	20. Chapter 20

**Stargate Command**   
**Colorado Springs, CO**   
**January 10, 2000**

Sam was listening intently as Catherine went into great detail about the naquadah generator she'd created with the help of an alien girl. She nodded in agreement when Catherine took a breath, even though the question had been rhetorical. Her own mind was going light-years a minute at the possibilities. Back at the Xenophysics Department she'd done her fair share of research but they hadn't had much experience with naquadah yet.

Of course, after everything that had happened since, Sam had additional knowledge. Knowledge that wasn't originally hers. Nevertheless, the history of the use of naquadah by the Goa'uld and how it became part of their physiology was fascinating.

"Has General Hammond approved your request for the in-depth analysis, Samantha?"

Her hand froze midair, the blue jello on the spoon wobbling dangerously. "Um, yes, and I've also been given permission to work this afternoon in spite of being on light duty. Hopefully, I can start working on it after lunch."

Catherine nodded in understanding and took a sip of coffee. "If I had known about your plans I would have changed my schedule. Unfortunately, Ernest and I have somewhere to be this afternoon. Perhaps we can discuss your findings later this week."

"I'd like that."

"Some days, I wish I had more time for research," she said, sighing. "But then, I look at you and your colleagues and know my work is in the right hands."

Sam smiled at the praise and ducked her head. The feeling was familiar and oddly comforting just like it used to be, but at the same time it reminded her how long it had been and how much she'd missed Catherine and the older woman's presence in her life.

"What are you ladies talking about?" Jack appeared at their table and gracelessly plopped down at the seat across from Sam, the coffee in his cup nearly ending up on his tray.

"Samantha's latest research project. Hello Jack."

He gave them his most charming smile. "Catherine. Sam."

Sam swallowed a bite of jello and returned the smile. "Hi. Did you visit Daniel?"

"Yeah, the Doc says it'll probably be a week before he's sprung."

"I saw him earlier this morning," Catherine said. "I know he would prefer to be released today, but I told him he should count himself lucky he was even here and not on Abydos."

Jack stopped poking at his meal and made a face at the realization. "The Abydonians wouldn't have been able to treat his appendicitis in time."

Reaching for his hand, Sam gave him a supportive squeeze. "But Daniel isn't on Abydos. He's in the capable hands of Doctor Fraiser and her staff."

"Still, I should stop by again on my way home," Catherine said, almost as if speaking to herself. "If only to remind him of how fortunate he is."

"He was looking forward to seeing Sha're and Shifu this week, but Fraiser probably won't let him go off-world for a while."

Catherine exchanged glances with Sam before turning a shrewd look to Jack. "Perhaps it's for the best that he's in the infirmary for the rest of the week."

"Why, so he'll stay out of trouble?"

Sam snorted at Jack's little joke, but she knew he was aware of what Catherine meant. Ever since his undercover mission – the one he'd undergone to bring her home – his friendship with Daniel had been strained. Jack had tried to mend fences in his own way, but she knew Daniel was still hurt over some of the things he'd said. She didn't know the specifics because neither man would tell her, but she had a pretty good idea. "It'll give you two some time to… talk."

He grimaced but it was clear he got the message. "Maybe I can drop by later today if I'm not too busy."

"You're both working this afternoon? Who is watching that adorable child of yours?"

"Colonel Dixon's wife," Sam said, noting the pleased look on Jack's face over Catherine's words.

The older woman smiled and patted Jack's hand in a grandmotherly gesture. "Oh, you have no idea how delighted I was for the two of you when Samantha told me. You deserve a second chance, Jack. And didn't I tell you once that you would like Samantha?"

The pleased look morphed into one of mild embarrassment and he coughed awkwardly. "Um, yeah, you did mention that. Once or twice."

"Of course, at the time I had no idea you two had already met," Catherine blithely continued, before casting a mischievous look at Sam. "Neither did I expect you to take our suggestion to have a good evening quite so literally after we finished celebrating the completion of that project back in Washington, DC."

"Catherine," Sam hissed, feeling her cheeks flame.

"Well, well, I didn't know we were being quite so detailed when informing our friends about Ife's paternity, Sam."

She rolled her eyes at Jack's teasing and tried to ignore the smug looks on the people seated across from her. Over the weekend, she and Jack had discussed how and when to tell their friends that he was Ife's father. Once General Hammond had been informed and the DNA test proved paternity, it wouldn't be long before the news got out, one way or another. They'd prefer to be the ones informing those closest to them before it hit the grapevine. Sam had agreed that Jack would tell the guys and she would tell Catherine. "Did you tell Daniel yet?"

Jack beamed proudly at her, the rare smile showing off his dimples. "First time I've seen Daniel speechless."

"And it only took you five years to find a way," Catherine teased.

"The guy speaks twenty-three languages, it was quite the challenge."

Sam snorted at their banter and took another bite of jello. Jack had told her he was a little concerned about Daniel's reaction to his second attempt at fatherhood, but from the looks of things he'd been worried for no reason. Not that Sam had expected Daniel to try to change Jack's mind or anything. More than likely, it was Jack's own doubts that had come to the surface. She wasn't sure how to take them away and reassure him he'd be a great dad, but she'd damn well try. And Carters never gave up.

"Anyway, I told Daniel to keep it to himself for now," Jack said. "Teal'c is still off-world visiting his kid and I wanna tell the big guy myself."

"Well, look at the time," Catherine said, glancing at her watch. She started collecting her things and got to her feet, holding her tray and smiling at them. "You two make such a lovely couple. Remember what I told you, Samantha; after all of my stories Ernest wants to meet you. You two should come to dinner soon and bring Ife, too."

Jack winced but nodded at Catherine regardless. "Sure, soon."

Sam waited until Catherine had left the commissary to raise a brow at Jack. "You don't want to have dinner with them?"

"No, it's fine. I like Catherine. It's just… I'd rather spend my evenings with you."

He probably didn't mean anything by it other than that he enjoyed spending time with her and Ife, like a family. But heat flared in her belly at his admission, her mind immediately reminding her of how they'd spent their evenings the past couple of days. Kissing, touching… Making out like a pair of teenagers. The heat they created never really left her, it left her wanting and a little bit on edge when they said goodnight and went into their separate bedrooms.

"So, what's the research project?"

It took her a moment to gather her thoughts at his sudden question, "Umm, I'm getting ready to do a detailed analysis of the decay rate of naquadah within the reactor. It's really quite amazing that unlike plutonium, naquadah actually has a-"

"Ack! Not too much technobabble, please," Jack interrupted her in a teasing tone.

"Sorry." Sam raised an eyebrow, "I know I can get a little carried away sometimes. That used to happen all the time when I was still at the Pentagon."

"I doubt Catherine minded it."

"No, she didn't. But it was different before I joined her Xenophysics Department. You know how it can be," she said, shrugging. The reactions of her former CO's, military coworkers and the higher ups used to bother her a great deal, whether they were simply rolling their eyes, ignoring her or rudely cutting her off in the middle of an explanation. It was different with Jack. With everyone at the SGC, as she'd discovered the past two weeks. Sure, sometimes she was cut off but they respected her knowledge and experience. No one had dismissed her just because she was a 'geek'. Of course, she worked with a lot of 'geeks' as well and the other staff at the SGC were more often than not dependent on the ingenuity of her fellow scientists.

Jack looked at her with the same warmth in his eyes she'd been seeing more frequently lately, before glancing down to where his thumb caressed her hand. "I've seen you in meetings with the other eggheads here and you seem to be fitting in well."

"Yeah."

"No regrets?"

Her breath hitched and not just because of the feelings his caress elicited in her. After a moment, his gaze locked on hers, waiting. "No regrets," she breathed.

He smirked and let go of her hand, reaching for his coffee. "Good."

"So, you've been watching me?" She asked, trying to lighten the mood.

"Yup," he said, taking a sip. "You're kinda hard to overlook, especially when you're surrounded by a bunch of geeks."

Smiling, she took a bite of jello. Working at the SGC had always been her dream since working on Project Giza and while an SG team wasn't an option anymore, she felt good about the choice she'd made.

He followed her example, abandoning his plate and using his fork to dig into his red jello instead. "I mean it, Sam. You're in your element here. No pun intended."

"We-"

Suddenly, a bright light enveloped Jack and he disappeared right in front of her.

"Jack?" Her spoon clattered on the table and she jumped up, even though she instinctively knew he was gone. "Jack?!"

An alarm sounded over the intercom and when she looked up she saw someone rush up to her. "Captain? What happened to Colonel O'Neill?"

He looked vaguely familiar and it wasn't until she saw his nametag that she could place him – Major Ferretti, the former CO of SG-2. The one whose team had been supposed to accompany them to P3X-425, but injuries had prevented it. "Um…"

"Captain Carter?"

Shaking herself, she took a deep breath and focused on the man in front of her. "I'm not sure, Sir. We were just talking and suddenly this white light appeared and he just… disappeared."

Ferretti nodded in understand and touched her arm. "I already sounded the alarm. We have to report this to General Hammond."

"Do you know what happened?"

"I think," the Major said as he guided her to the exit of the commissary, "that it was the Asgard."

A weight was lifted from her shoulders at his words. She didn't know the Asgard – or Reenlokia, as they were known to Herit – well, but she knew they were the good guys. They'd built Thor's Hammer, the only known technology that could kill a Goa'uld without harming the host. Since getting back on light duty she'd been reading up on mission reports, allies, enemies, technology and pretty much everything she could get her hands on and she knew the Asgard had always been good to Jack and the rest of the SGC.

There was a flurry of activity in the control room and General Hammond was looking over a tech's shoulder at the computers. "Do we know what happened, Sergeant?"

"Not yet, Sir. All we know is that someone in the commissary hit the alarm," the balding man replied.

"Sir," Ferretti stepped forward. "I sounded the alarm after Colonel O'Neill disappeared from the commissary."

General Hammond looked from the Major to her and back. "Disappeared?"

Ferretti caught her gaze and gave her an encouraging nod. "Captain Carter was with the Colonel at the time."

"We were having lunch," she said, her mind still racing light-years a minute over all the possible reasons the Asgard would take Jack. "There was a bright white light all of a sudden and it enveloped Colonel O'Neill before he was… just gone. Major Ferretti said it was most likely Asgard technology, Sir."

"I'm pretty sure," he said.

General Hammond nodded, looking a little relieved. "For Jack's sake, let's hope you're right."

"That depends on what they want from him, Sir."

"True, Captain," he said, before turning to his technician. "Send a message through the stargate to recall Teal'c."

"Yes, Sir."

The General turned towards the spiral staircase leading up to the briefing room. Throwing a glance over his shoulder he looked at her and Ferretti. "You two, follow me."

Somewhere between Hammond calling the Pentagon, informing Daniel and meeting with the present SG teams and some of the SGC scientists, Teal'c returned from off-world. Ferretti cleared the room before Hammond started telling Teal'c what had happened.

"I think I witnessed Colonel O'Neill being transported out of the base by the Asgard," she added.

"For what purpose?"

The base commander shook his head, "We're not sure yet."

The words had barely been spoken when a holographic, three-dimensional image of Jack appeared in the briefing room. "Hello? Testing… testing… is this thing on?"

"Jack!"

"Sam!" He said, delighted, as he turned around and faced her. Then, his smile disappeared as he looked around. "Hi General, Teal'c… Ferreti, what are you doing here? You better not be trying to recruit T to join SG-3."

The General indicated for Ferretti to be quiet and took charge, asking Jack about what had happened since he'd disappeared from the commissary. Jack explained about the techno bugs – or Replicators as the Asgard called them – that had infested Thor's ship and started listing the explosives he'd need to blow them to kingdom come.

"What are you going to do?" Hammond asked with trepidation.

"Destroy the ship."

The feeling of dread she'd felt ever since he disappeared right in front of her increased and Sam swallowed hard at the realization of his plan. She couldn't just let him blow himself up along with Thor and the ship! "Where is Thor?"

Jack looked over his shoulder, beyond what they could see of his hologram. "Oh, he's here. He's just not feeling too well at the moment."

"We can be ready in ten minutes," she said. "Thor can transport us up there to help you."

"That's not going to happen." A mix of emotions flashed over Jack's face before the familiar blank mask appeared again. "Thor's out cold. The bugs got him pretty good. But he did leave some instructions on how to run the toys up here."

That wasn't good enough. She needed to be there to help him. "So you can transport us up?"

He narrowed his eyes, then looked over to the General. "I could. But I'm not going to."

"What is your reasoning, O'Neill?" It was the first time Teal'c had spoken up and he looked as confused as she'd ever seen a Jaffa look.

"Anybody who comes up is not getting down."

She started to argue but Jack shook his head, told her to get the stuff he needed ready in ten minutes and pulled rank when she protested. She couldn't recall the last time he'd referred to her by rank and it rankled. "Colonel-"

Hammond interrupted her before she could finished, "He's right, Captain. I believe we've discussed this before; you will not be joining Colonel O'Neill on his mission."

"Wait!" She called out, just as Jack was about to sign off. "There's got to be some way we can help, even if it's from down here."

"Sam…" Jack sighed, looking pained. "You've got to stay safe for Ife."

"But what if we can find a way for you to get off the ship safely?"

General Hammond turned to her, surprised. "Do you have an idea, Captain?"

Her mind was going light-years a minute but her knowledge of the Asgard, their ships and enemy were too limited. "Maybe."

"Teal'c, see that the ordinance is in place in the gate room. Captain, explain."

"Well, we know the Asgard ships have sophisticated cloaking devices, so we can't even locate it in orbit to launch an air strike on it. Colonel O'Neill's approach to destroy the ship from the inside out is the best option we have. However, if we know more about the ship's specifications, Asgard shielding technology and how far the infestation of these Replicators has spread, we might be able to find a way for Colonel O'Neill and Thor to escape the ship before it explodes."

Major Ferretti cleared his throat loudly. "I believe you mean Colonel O'Neill, Thor, Teal'c and myself."

"Major?"

He shrugged, "With all due respect, Sirs," he glanced from the General to Jack's hologram and back, "Colonel O'Neill lacks the technical expertise that will most likely be required from Captain Carter's solution, especially if Thor can't help. Besides, if these techno bugs are as bad as he says, we've got to make sure to destroy them completely. I'm pretty sure the Colonel can use my help – and I doubt Teal'c would welcome us back if we did survive but didn't invite him to join us."

"Very well. Get geared up, Major. Captain, what do you need?"

"As much information as Colonel O'Neill can give me," she said, glancing at Jack. "And everyone we can spare from the Science Department for now."

"I don't know what I can give you," Jack said, throwing a look behind him. "Thor's pretty out of it and I can hear those creepy bugs in the walls."

She rubbed her forehead and tried to think it all through. "You said Thor left some instructions for you. Can you keep the line of communication open? The power it emits can't be enough to draw the Replicators if the life support hasn't done that already. You can step away once Teal'c and Major Ferretti get there, but you can't shut down the communications. We can't find the ship, so we won't be able to restore the link from our end if you do."

Jack exchanged glances with Hammond and, reluctantly, agreed. "Okay. So far, all of the instructions have been audio or whatever the Asgard variation of it is. Thor says you should be able to hear it once I turn them on. But the moment the guys are here we've got to engage the enemy and I won't be able to change stones to go back and forth between the information."

"Major Ferretti has the most technical know-how out of the three of you," General Hammond said decisively. "He will remain with Thor and stay in communication with us, while you and Teal'c engage the enemy and start planting the explosives and execute whatever else the Captain's plan requires."

Sam shared a small smile with Jack when the General headed down to the control room to give his technicians instructions. An announcement was made over the intercom to call the scientists to the briefing room. "This room is going to get crowded pretty soon."

Jack didn't react, he simply took a deep breath and looked at her as if it might be the last time he could lay eyes on her. "Sam…"

"Don't," she said, shaking her head. "You're not going to say your goodbyes here, because we will find a way to get you and the others back home safely."

"I just want you to know-"

"Damn it, Jack! Don't you dare," she threatened, as she felt tears burn her eyes. "You're going to kick those Replicators' asses, save Thor's life and come home to Ife and me."

He chuckled softly, although the intensity in his dark eyes hadn't left yet. "You won't have it any other way, will you?"

She grinned, hoping it didn't appear as tremulous as it felt. "Damn straight. This time, you're going to let me save your ass. I've done it before, remember?"

"Yeah," he said with a fond smile. "I'm sure you'll be able to pull something brilliant out of your, er, six."

General Hammond returned to the briefing room before she could reply and turned to Jack. "We've almost got everything in place. Teal'c and Ferretti are gearing up, the available scientists will join us soon, I've recalled Doctor Langford and Major Davis is on his way from the Pentagon."

"Thank you, Sir."

"Godspeed, son."

Sam mouthed 'good luck' to him just before he stepped off the hologram's platform and disappeared, fervently hoping this wasn't the last time she'd seen him. She turned away from the empty hologram, her mind already going over different simulations. "General, we'll probably need NORAD and possibly NASA to cooperate with us on this one."

"I'll see to it, Captain."

Through the window overlooking the gate room a white flash was visible and when she stepped closer, she saw the gateroom was deserted. "I guess that was the explosives and Teal'c and Major Ferretti."

General Hammond's eyes softened when he came up to her side and looked at her. "If anyone can do this, it's Jack, Ferretti and Teal'c. With your help, Captain. I have faith you'll do whatever is possible and previously thought impossible to make this happen and get our people home safely."

"Yes, Sir," she said softly.

Once all the scientists had arrived and Hammond explained the situation, she turned her back on the window and looked at the group of brilliant minds in front of her. Somehow, they'd find a solution. There was no way she'd go pick up her daughter tonight and tell her that Daddy wasn't coming home.

General Hammond had reached the end of his speech and waved in her direction. "Until Doctor Langford has returned to base Captain Carter will be in charge of this… meeting. And keep in mind that the connection to the Asgard ship goes both ways," he added as a warning.

"Major Ferretti will appear there," she gestured at the hologram of an Asgard console, "shortly to share Thor's instructions with us and be our contact between Thor, Colonel O'Neill and Teal'c. According to Colonel O'Neill, the instructions were very specific and technological and there were quite a lot of them."

After she'd given everyone instructions and specific areas to focus on, they all got settled in. Some of the scientists scurried back to their labs or offices to collect research materials or notebooks. A few of the SG team leaders also joined them, to help plan a strategy to defeat the enemy if they could avoid destroying the Asgard ship. The General's aide ensured there were enough whiteboards, seats, workspace, notebooks, pens and coffee for everyone as they waited for word from the Asgard ship. Meanwhile, General Hammond was in talks with NASA to see if a shuttle could pick up the team and Thor.

Soon, Major Ferretti appeared in holographic form in the briefing room and everyone gathered around the table. "Colonel O'Neill and Teal'c are doing a recon of the ship since these bugs have disabled the sensors that can detect them and we have no idea how bad the damage is right now. We've managed to get our supplies to a safe area, but we lost two of the spacesuits and a box of explosives to the nasty critters, General."

"How is Thor doing, Major?" General Hammond asked, concern etched on his face.

"Not well, Sir. But he's explained how to work his console, so I can stay in contact with SG-1 and Earth at the same time. You should be able to hear any communication with the team."

The General nodded in understanding. "Very well, Major. Captain Carter?"

Sam stood up to catch Ferretti's attention. "Can you play us Thor's recordings, Sir? If possible, we'd like to start with the explanation about the Replicators to see if we can come up with a way to destroy them, before we have to take more extreme measures and blow up Thor's ship."

"Will do, Captain."

A moment later, Thor's voice sounded. "The Replicators were discovered on an isolated planet in our home galaxy some years ago. The creators were not present. The Replicators were brought aboard an Asgard ship for study before the danger could be fully comprehended…"

At some point, Major Davis from the Pentagon joined them and asked for a sit rep. Sam and General Hammond updated him on the knowledge they'd acquired and the ideas they'd discarded, like the shuttle plan. By the time Ferretti had told them about Thor's condition and why using his medical pod to heal him wasn't an option, Catherine had arrived and about half of the staff had left the briefing room in defeat or to fulfill other duties.

"Thor says the little buggers haven't landed the ship yet because they want to grow their numbers first," Ferretti said.

"Do we have an ETA?"

Sam shook her head at the General's inquiry. "The Replicators have taken over navigational control of Thor's ship. We have no idea how much power is left and whether they can alter the speed of the engines once they're ready to move."

"And even if we knew at what speed they can fly the ship," Catherine said, "we still don't have a current location for it and thus we'd need to guesstimate, since we also don't know where they would prefer to land on Earth."

"The Asgard cloaking device is preventing NORAD from even picking up a signal from the ship, let alone pinpoint the location."

Hammond nodded at Davis' statement. "I see you've done your homework, Major."

"General, all I do all day long is read up on the Stargate Program."

The two men retreated into the base commander's office and Sam and Catherine rejoined their fellow scientists at the table. Major Robert Bennett and Doctor Gary Meyers, with whom they'd both worked at the Xenophysics Department, were discussing a variety of computer simulations they'd made and Meyers called Sam over for extra input.

"What is it, Gary?"

The Doctor shrugged helplessly, "Well, you know I don't want to be a pessimist, but we're trying to determine how long we have until the Replicators stop feeding on the ship and decide they want to have an Earth buffet."

"According to Thor their odds of survival in a new environment depend on numbers," Major Bennet said.

"Basically, we need to know how much raw material is left for them, which means that Teal'c and Colonel O'Neill will have to do a more thorough reconnaissance of the ship," Gary said.

Jack had reported that the Replicators seemed to be mostly concentrated in one area of the ship, where the most power – and presumably the best alloys – was but some were also moving along the corridors and behind the walls. According to him, it almost seemed like they were patrolling the area and unless feeling threatened, they hadn't attacked – yet. She sighed, "Well, if they're feeding off the ship up until hull integrity becomes a problem… Oh! That's it!"

"What are you thinking, Samantha?"

She grinned at Catherine, before turning to the applied physics expert. "Do you think the ship can withstand an uncontrolled reentry into the atmosphere?"

Major Bennet shook his head, frowning. "No, according to the information Thor gave us the heat from the friction would cause the ship to burn up because in order to reflect the subspace field of the phase generators-"

"It would destroy the ship!" Gary exclaimed, drawing the attention of the other people in the briefing room.

"I will inform General Hammond and Major Davis," Catherine said. "Samantha could you relay our idea to Thor through Major Ferretti?"

Thor informed them it was only possible by regaining control of the navigational computer on the bridge – which was right in the center of the Replicator invasion as far as SG-1 could tell. Jack told Ferretti to guide him and Teal'c to the location by using the ship's monitoring sensors to find a safe path there so they could investigate.

Sam – and the others – waited with bated breath as Jack and Teal'c slowly made their way through the ship's corridors. It was slow going as there were more patrolling Replicators the closer the two of them got. And Thor and Ferretti were limited in the help they could provide because the mechanical bugs had tampered with the ship's system.

"The door up ahead leads to the bridge," Ferretti told SG-1 over the comms.

All conversation in the briefing room came to a halt as everyone waited for the two men to get closer. In the background, they could hear their footsteps.

"It sounds as though there are Replicators inside," Teal'c said in a low voice.

"Watch yourself." A strange swishing sound followed Jack's warning and Sam figured that had been the door opening. "Forget that! The place is swarming with bugs!"

Disappointed murmurs rose up and Sam could see the disappointment on the General's face as well even though he remained silent. Sheets of papers were ripped out of notebooks and thrown away, someone erased the writing on his whiteboard and Gary was muttering to himself as he furiously typed away on his laptop.

It was Jack who was the first to speak up. "We're back with Ferretti. We need a new plan, Sir."

Hammond stepped towards the hologram, even though there was no one on the platform and they wouldn't be able to see him at all. "We figured as much, Colonel. Give our people some time."

"We might not have it. Thor's not being a particularly cooperative patient and his health is deteriorating fast."

"He is probably worried that his medical pod has been tampered with by the Replicators," Catherine said.

Major Davis, ever the diplomat, cleared his throat. "Supreme Commander Thor I can understand your hesitation and excuse me for being blunt, but if you are dead you won't be able to be of any assistance either."

Thor's voice was a testament to his weakened condition as he spoke. "As I have said, if O'Neill succeeds in destroying the ship we will all die."

"And as we've said," Jack countered, "we might have a way off this ship."

"Wait a minute, that's it!" Sam cried out as an idea struck. "Thor, you said there are dampening fields inside the ship that prevent explosions. What about outside the ship?"

There was a momentary pause before Thor replied. "There are shields around the ship, but they would not protect against a weapon already inside the force field."

Sam could feel a rush of adrenaline swoop through her body in excitement. This was it! She had a way of saving them! "Okay, now, there was a specific engine in the information recordings," she said, going over her notes. "It controls reentry."

"The deceleration drive," Major Bennet replied immediately.

"We brought an explosive device that's enhanced with elementary naquadah. Would that be enough to destroy the deceleration drive, Thor?"

Sam briefly wondered about whether Asgard were capable of facial expressions when it sounded like Thor was smiling as he spoke, "This plan could work."

Jack was the one to ask the question she could see on many faces around her. "Plan… what plan?"

"Please explain, Captain," Hammond added.

"Sir, the bugs are going to land the ship themselves eventually. The BF-8 might just be enough fire power to blow the deceleration drive."

She heard someone clear his throat and wasn't surprised when Jack once again spoke out. "Might?"

"If we blow it at the right time we can alter the reentry path."

"The ship would accelerate out of control and burn up in Earth's atmosphere," Bennett finished.

Not surprisingly, Teal'c was the first one ready to take action. "What needs to be done then is to place this explosive outside of this vessel."

Sam winced when seemingly all pairs of eyes in the room turned to her and confirmed, "Someone is going to have to go out there."

Jack, Teal'c and Ferretti briefly argued about who would go out there and eventually it was Teal'c, as his symbiote would offer additional protection against prolonged exposure to radiation. Everyone in the briefing room was nervously awaiting Teal'c and Jack's report as they went down to an airlock to prepare Teal'c.

Daniel entered the briefing room and defiantly sat down next to Sam and Catherine, even though pretty much everyone at the SGC knew he'd just undergone surgery and needed to recover. Doctor Fraiser would not be pleased that he'd snuck out, but Sam could understand his motivation. He simply wanted to be there to support his teammates.

"General," Major Davis spoke to the base commander in hushed tones, "we're going to DEFCON 3. The Russians have gone on alert as a response. The moment the Asgard ship attempts to land, the President had decided to let the rest of the world know what we know."

"Let's give SG-1 and Major Ferretti a reasonable chance, Major."

Davis nodded, although he didn't look too pleased. "Yes, sir. I'll try to define "reasonable" to the Pentagon."

The Major had just retreated into Hammond's office again when Jack alerted them to Teal'c exiting the ship.

"Say something."

"One small step for Jaffa."

Sam snorted at Teal'c's reply but her amusement was short-lived when Jack announced he could hear Replicators approaching. The tension in the briefing room went up a notch when Jack called for Ferretti to override the damn airlock controls after Teal'c had returned.

"I'm working on it," Ferretti replied frantically.

"Oh, God!" Sam's heart skipped a beat at Jack's exclamation. "His tank just blew!"

Teal'c sounded as panicked as she'd ever heard a Jaffa. "O'Neill!"

"Ferretti!"

"I'm trying to use the transporter to beam him inside but it's not working," he reported.

Bennett grabbed one of the engineers' notebooks and browsed it until he'd found what he was looking for and looked up at Sam. "The transporter array on that side of the ship must have been knocked out by the bugs."

She glanced at the schematics he pointed out and realized there was a good chance the transporter array on the other side had also been disabled. But the airlock couldn't be opened either and Teal'c's oxygen would run out any second. "We can still do this but Teal'c is going to have to push off."

"What?!"

"Trust me, Jack," she said. "The other transporter arrays can pick him up but only if he's far enough away from the ship."

Without hesitation, Jack relayed her instructions to Teal'c over the radio linked to his spacesuit and then he yelled at Ferretti to beam him the hell up once Teal'c was far enough away.

A few frantic seconds later, Ferretti called out triumphantly, "Got it!"

"Colonel O'Neill, what is Teal'c's status?"

"He's fine, he's fine," Jack answered after a tense moment. "We're gonna join Ferretti and Thor again."

Everyone in the briefing room visibly relaxed and someone even whooped at the news. Well, almost everyone. Daniel wasn't looking too well. He was pale and appeared to be in pain, which wasn't strange considering he shouldn't have left his infirmary bed.

General Hammond had also noticed and walked up to him. "Doctor Jackson, are you okay?"

"I'll be fine," he replied.

Catherine reached out to squeeze Daniel's hand. "You don't look well. Why don't you go back up to the infirmary?"

The General nodded in agreement. "I promise you I will notify you as soon as there is any news."

"Sir, I know that there is no reason for me to be here. But I just…I feel like I should be here…that's not totally true. I feel I actually should be out there with them."

"Now you know how I feel most of the time," Hammond replied, with a ghost of a smile.

Catherine had just helped Daniel out of the briefing room when Jack reappeared in holographic form. "So, um, we set the charges and now we wait to blow the bomb at the right time. Ferretti put Thor into stasis after he passed out, so now we just… wait."

Sam's nails dug into her palms and her heart ached at the sight of him. In the distance, she could hear Major Bennett explain the exact moment when they had to detonate but her mind was preoccupied. There was nothing she could do to get him back to Earth in one piece. Not without the transport beams and the shuttle wasn't an option either. He would burn up in the atmosphere along with the ship. They had finally run out of time. There was not going to be a day that they would finally be together, in every sense of the word.

The realization that she wouldn't get to tell him that she loved him was like a blow.

Oh, God.

Ife would grow up without her father…

"Captain?"

She looked up to find Hammond's concerned eyes on her. Oh, great. "Sir?"

"Colonel O'Neill asked you a question."

"Think you could fix that beam down thing?" Jack said – apparently for the second time – when she turned to him.

Sam shook her head and got to her feet, pacing along the window overlooking the gate room. "Not from here and definitely not without Thor's help, Sir."

"Thor was correct, we are going to die," Teal'c stated from somewhere behind Jack.

"Aww, come on, Teal'c, lighten up!" Jack turned around to face his teammate. "We've been in these situations before."

"No, Sir, we haven't," Ferretti chimed in.

Something flashed over Jack's face as he looked at her, before glancing away. "We haven't?"

General Hammond grimaced. "I'm afraid not, Sir."

Unable to stand the tension, Sam came to a standstill in front of the window. Behind her, people were throwing ideas around in the hopes of finding a solution to bring the team back. But she knew that wasn't possible. There was no way they could fix the transporter beam and the Asgard didn't believe in escape pods. She sighed and narrowed her eyes at the gate below her. If only… Oh! "I have an idea!"


	21. Chapter 21

**Camp**   
**P3X-234**   
**January 13, 2000**

Jack ducked to get out of their makeshift lean-to and shielded his eyes from the bright sun. It was morning on the planet but already incredibly warm. Their shelter didn't offer much respite, he could feel sweat dripping down his back and his shirt clung to his skin. He didn't recall who'd made the suggestion for this particular planet or if Teal'c had decided on his own, but he made a mental note to memorize a list of _nice_ and safe planets when they got back to the SGC. Just in case.

"I thought you said it was nice here this time of year," Ferretti grumbled as he exited the lean-to and brushed past Jack. They had abandoned formalities along with their vests and jackets on their first day on the planet. Jack had two ranks on Lou but they were both SG team leaders and had been friends for years. Teal'c technically wasn't even military and over twice his age.

He shrugged and, after wiping sweat from his brow, joined the two men on one of the logs Teal'c had dragged over to their camp. "I guess that must have been P4X-234."

The Major snorted and started rummaging through his pack. "Easy mistake to make, I suppose."

"We should call the planets something that's a little easier to remember."

"I believe it is based on a binary code the dialing computer uses for extrapolation," Teal'c said with a raised brow.

Ferretti tossed Teal'c two MREs and another in Jack's direction, smirked at him. "And if _I_ recall correctly, Captain Carter is responsible for the dialing computer and its programming. So, I guess I'll let you broach that subject with her."

Jack narrowed his eyes at his friend and he just knew Teal'c had the Jaffa version of a smirk on his face without looking his way. "Me, why?"

"Because I was there when you appeared as a hologram," Ferretti said. "And, oh, I've been around for a few years and saw first-hand everything you did to bring her back to Earth."

"Indeed."

So, Ferretti was aware of his feelings too. Great. Just what he needed. After arriving on this jungle planet he finally had the opportunity to talk with Teal'c since his little vacation and he'd told him the truth about Ife's paternity – the Jaffa had simply looked at him knowingly and offered his 'felicitations'. Did everyone at the SGC know? "So, it has nothing to do with me being the fearless leader of SG-1?"

Teal'c took no pity on him, the corners of his mouth curling up while Ferretti laughed aloud. "It has not, O'Neill."

"Well, damn."

"Hey, I don't blame you," Ferretti said in between chuckles. "Carter is hot and seeing how she bounced back after Grieves screwed her over, I'd say she's pretty badass too."

Teal'c tossed the wrapping of his first MRE in the bag they'd designated as trash and opened his second one. "I concur, Major Ferretti."

Jack decided ignoring them was the best course of action for now and focused on his own meal – chicken or mac and cheese, he couldn't tell. Talking about Sam only reminded him of how much he missed her and Ife. How had he done this the first time around, with Sara and Charlie? Back then, he'd frequently been sent off with little notice and no idea when he would return. Some of the missions had been just a few days, others weeks. Then there were the ones that had gone FUBAR and he'd eventually returned home broken after months away.

God, he hoped Sam knew they'd made it off-world safely and that the ship had actually blown up and destroyed all the Replicators. There hadn't been any communication possible after they'd jumped through the gate aboard Thor's ship because of how they'd timed it. He found it hard to believe an explosion like that hadn't altered the ship's course, not when Sam and a room full of geeks had come up with the plan. And there was no way the Replicators could have survived reentry in the atmosphere… right?

Sighing, he stretched his legs and tried to get comfortable on the hard log. Hopefully, it wouldn't take too long to get the beta stargate hooked up. Assuming it could be done… Jack dismissed the thought right away; Sam had come up with the idea to beam up the stargate from the SGC and use it to escape, like she and Daniel both had on Apophis' mothership. She wouldn't have suggested it if the beta stargate couldn't take its place. And with her and Catherine both present, it shouldn't take the two women long to get it up and working.

"So," Ferretti said, using his empty MRE wrapping to fan himself, "we kinda saved the planet."

"It was O'Neill and myself who endangered our lives to execute the plan."

Jack smirked when Ferretti nearly did a double take at Teal'c's reply and if he himself hadn't known T better he might have fallen for it as well, especially with that poker face. "Yup. Think Hammond will arrange for a little fanfare in the gate room for when we get back?"

The Jaffa tilted his head as if considering it. "I do not."

"But why not? Like Lou said, we did save the planet. That should not get old."

"Exactly! We," Ferretti cut in heatedly, indicating the three of them with a hand movement, "saved the planet!"

Jack enjoyed riling him up as much as Teal'c and played along, shrugging. "Well, Teal'c and I did. You were hiding out with Thor for the most part, just passing along information from the geeks at the SGC."

He harrumphed, gesticulating wildly with his spork. "I was right there with you keeping the Replicators at bay to get the gate working!"

"O'Neill and I patrolled the corridors and fought off the Replicators for the entire duration of the mission."

"Teal'c risked his life several times over by placing the explosives outside the ship!"

He simply nodded in confirmation. "Indeed."

Ferretti's face was slowly turning red and he seemed at a loss for words for a moment. "But I saved you by beaming you aboard," he spluttered.

"For which I am grateful, Major Ferretti."

"We did it all together. It was a team effort," he protested.

Jack clasped Teal'c's shoulder and grinned at Lou. "Yeah and the team in question was SG-1."

Teal'c pointedly looked down at the contact until Jack removed his hand and then he turned to the Major. "You were simply along for the ride, as the _Tau'ri_ say," Teal'c said.

"What?!"

Jack was starting to feel sorry for Lou and worried he might get a stroke or heart attack if he didn't calm down, so he waved dismissively and said, "We're just messing with you."

"Indeed," Teal'c said with a small grin. "It was most amusing, Major Ferretti."

"Hilarious," he replied dryly.

Ferretti had never been one to sulk though and thus it wasn't surprising when he spoke up again a few minutes later. "So, how long do you think it'll be before we can go back home? Do we need to hike back to the gate to dial Earth again today?"

"A couple of days at most." Jack had no idea if that was true but surely it was just a matter of hooking the beta gate up to a system that was already in place? "Hammond probably called to get it released from storage right away, then it has to be flown over, equipment to lower it into the mountain has to be set up…"

The Major nodded and pulled the hem of his shirt away from his skin. "I'm so ready to leave this humid jungle."

Teal'c got up and moved over to a sheltered spot a few feet away, where he'd been doing his meditation thing the past few days. "As am I, Major Ferretti."

"A shower would be nice," Jack commented. "Or a lake, to do some fishing."

"There's no real reason we have to stay here."

Ferretti made a good point but at the moment, Jack was a little short on gate addresses to safe planets. "Do you have any suggestions?"

The SG-3 commander lifted his canteen and poured water over himself. "Anywhere but here? Honestly, I'd take being chased by a bunch of Jaffa over this."

"Teal'c?"

"I do not prefer a combat situation," he said, from his spot on the jungle floor. "However, I would not mind using this opportunity to resume visiting my family."

Jack clapped his hands and got to his feet. "All right then. We'll go visit Teal'c's wife and kid. Any idea where they're at?"

The Jaffa looked as surprised as he'd ever seen him, but after exchanging looks he nodded in understanding. They both knew what it was like to be away from loved ones. "When Stargate Command recalled me Drey'auc spoke of rejoining Master Bra'tac."

"We gonna visit the Rebel Jaffa?" Ferretti asked, looking a little excited. "Nice. I haven't had the chance to read up on the latest developments. Seeing what Bra'tac and Captain Carter have started with my own eyes is a hell of a lot better than reading it from some report."

"Do you know the address, T?"

Teal'c rose smoothly. "I do."

* * *

**Stargate Command**   
**Colorado Springs, CO**   
**January 14, 2000**

Major Davis had pulled some strings after the General ordered the second stargate to be taken out of storage but while the beta gate had arrived shortly after SG-1 beamed up the one in the gate room, Sam still hadn't managed to install it. Standing precariously on a ladder to check one of the stabilizers she let out a sigh of frustration. After jotting down some notes on her clipboard she glanced down to where Catherine was talking to some of the technicians.

"This one is working just fine," she called down. Pretty much as expected. The stabilizers or any of the hardware being the cause of the technical difficulties they were experiencing with the beta stargate was rather improbable.

"Come on down then, Samantha," Catherine said, looking concerned.

Sam clambered down and joined them. "Even without the additional hardware the stargate should be operational. Well, except for the dialing computer."

Sergeant Siler scratched his head and gave the gate a critical onceover. "Should we attempt a manual dial, Ma'am?"

"Theoretically it should be possible," Catherine said slowly.

Sam shrugged and handed him her clipboard to double-check the results. "That would depend on how this stargate was activated the last time. If it was dialed with the DHD then leftover energy should still be stored in the capacitor-like reservoirs."

Catherine's brows lifted in surprised and it made her realize that she'd just used knowledge obtained from Herit's memories – she'd gone over all the research materials at the SGC and there was nothing about the reservoirs or the stargate's capacity to store energy converted from the internal functions. "Can we test it, Samantha?"

"The inside wheel will unlock and spin freely once there is enough reserve power," she replied.

"Then I guess I'd better start removing my equipment to give it a chance," Siler said.

Catherine nodded in approval and took Sam by the arm, walking a few feet away for some privacy before she spoke, "Do you have any other suggestions?"

Wincing, she heard the unasked question and, perhaps, accusation. Clearly, she had knowledge she hadn't shared with the other scientists. Sam had been so busy trying to catch up with everything that adding information had been more of an afterthought. And, she admitted to herself, she'd tried hard to keep Herit's memories suppressed because lately they'd been less about helpful knowledge and more about darker… stuff.

Shaking herself, she shot the older woman an apologetic look. "If this fails, we can try to hook up the naquadah generator to the stargate to see if that'll work as an alternate power source. If that's the case, then we know the problem is in the connection between the stargate and the dialing computer."

"Is the naquadah generator still in your lab?"

"Yeah, I haven't gotten the chance to work on it since Jack disappeared." Well, there had been opportunities between all the waiting she supposed, but working on a side project to satisfy her curiosity was the last thing on her mind.

Catherine turned around and instructed one of the technicians to retrieve the naquadah generator so she could install it. "Anything else?"

She shrugged and indicated the control room. "I want to run a diagnostic on the dialing computer and if we manage to connect the beta stargate to our system with the manual dial, reserve power or naquadah generator then we can initiate a correlative update."

"I was under the impression the periodic correlative updates were an automated process, initiated by the stargate network to compensate for stellar drift. This stargate has been used relatively recently – with a DHD I might add – and no important changes have been made to the dialing computer either, so why would such an update be beneficial? Assuming we can, somehow, initiate one ourselves."

"Stellar drift is only one of many reasons for the network to update. It's possible something _has_ changed in one or more of the internal protocols when both stargates were used from the same coordinates-"

"Earth."

Nodding, she tried to explain. "At the time, it may have gone unnoticed because the beta stargate was retired. Or perhaps an update in the software of the dialing computer is responsible. It's hard to tell and I couldn't find any detailed technical reports about the beta stargate from the time SG-1 retrieved it from the NID."

Catherine pinched the bridge of her nose and sighed. "Well, it looks like we've got our work cut out for us. However, once SG-1 is safely back here, I want to talk about the information you haven't shared with us yet."

"Of course," Sam said, biting her lip. She'd known it was inevitable. "Maybe together we can start updating the dialing software afterwards, to improve the way it works. There are up to 400 safety protocols during a dialing sequence but the software I wrote during the Giza Project overrides many of these in order to get a lock."

"That only makes it more incredible that you actually managed to create a dialing computer, Samantha."

She smiled at the compliment, even though she now had a perfectly good understanding of how foolish she'd been by writing the rather crude program that ignored more than half of the feedback signals and safety protocols of the stargate. "I'll get Sergeant Harriman started on the diagnostic. Could you ask Siler to disable the iris and take another reading of the stargate once the naquadah generator is installed?"

* * *

**Temple**   
**Kheb**   
**January 15, 2000**

Jack had to admit it was a brilliant strategic move of Bra'tac to settle the Jaffa Rebels on the one planet the Goa'uld and Jaffa were forbidden to speak of. The glowy Mother Nature alien and her sidekick monk had apparently left after Sha're had taken Shifu back to Abydos, which left the planet uninhabited. No Goa'uld would think to look for the Rebellion on Kheb. That made the untamed wilderness pretty safe for him, Teal'c and Ferretti to wait for the SGC to get the beta gate in working order.

The lack of humidity and extreme heat compared to P3X-234 was a nice change as well as the company, although Jack had to admit he could have done without the Jaffa lifestyle. Or, more precisely, the ritual they were currently undergoing.

"O'Neill."

Turning around, he saw Bra'tac descend the steps of the temple and heading his way. "Bra'tac."

After crossing the distance between them the old Jaffa Master regarded him pensively. "You will not join us, hm?"

"Nah." He tried to look him in the eye but the weird facial hair kept distracting him. "I'm not really into goatees or meditating. Or fasting."

"The _Rite of Ābu_ strengthens a Jaffa's health and warrior spirit. As a Tau'ri, you are not obligated to participate in the chanting or purification. Nor are you required to abstain from sustenance for the duration of the ritual," Bra'tac added with a knowing grin.

Jack shrugged dismissively as he fingered the spool of fishing line in his pocket. Two days of only fruit juice and some kind of broth after midnight wasn't what he'd had in mind when he agreed to visit the Rebel camp. And he really wanted to get some actual food – MREs didn't count. "I know and I appreciate the invite and all, but I'd rather go fishing. Nothing personal."

"Major Ferretti has chosen to participate."

"Yeah, he told me. Good for him."

Bra'tac nodded, rubbing at his new caterpillar-shaped goatee. "Where will you fish?"

Jack waved in the general direction Rya'c had told him about. "Teal'c's kid said there's a lake over there."

"I will take you there."

"That's okay. I explore other planets for a living, think I can find it on my own." Jack lost his smile and raised his hands in supplication at the look Bra'tac gave him. "Or, um, you could take me there."

"Indeed."

Jack followed him when he started heading for the direction Rya'c had indicated and silently wondered why the old coot insisted on accompanying him. After leaving 234 with Ferretti and Teal'c two days ago, the Rebel Jaffa had welcomed them in their midst despite being in the middle of one of their rituals. He'd figured Bra'tac wouldn't have much time for them – and that was fine with him – considering his role among the Rebel Jaffa but here he was. "So, nice little setup you have here."

Bra'tac narrowed his eyes at him and 'hm'ed, keeping up a steady pace through the valley. "An old Jaffa legend spoke of Kheb," he said after a few minutes. "The planet was discovered long ago by a few Jaffa and kept secret from the Goa'uld. Old warriors who could no longer carry a prim'ta would make the journey to Kheb where their _kalach_ learned the path through darkness into the next life."

"And when the Goa'uld heard about it and went to investigate they didn't return," he finished. He'd heard the story before, when they'd been searching for Shifu and Sam discovered the link to Kheb.

"It was forbidden to speak of it."

Jack recognized the glint in Bra'tac's eyes and raised a brow. "Like you'd ever let that stop you, you old coot. Bringing all the Rebel Jaffa here is a good way of saying screw you to the Goa'uld."

The old Jaffa smirked. "All Jaffa are welcomed here. The remaining System Lords are still fighting among each other and will not think to seek here for the Rebels. In the meantime, our ranks will grow until only those who truly believe in the false gods will remain in their service and we can strike to destroy them."

"There must be several hundred over there," he said, tipping his head towards the temple they'd just left. "Maybe even close to a thousand."

"The majority warriors. But also women, children and clergy."

Jack knew from Sam that not all the Rebels were fighters and some hadn't even joined the Rebellion's camps but instead stayed on their home planet to produce food or acquire weapons and other necessities from the Goa'uld. Or even just to offer a safe place to other rebels within a Goa'uld's territory. "Sounds like you're well on your way to getting a big army."

"We do not have the vessels and weaponry the Goa'uld have. An attack now is doomed to fail and will expose our numbers to the System Lords."

"Maybe the time to play nice is over. Our SG teams have gotten their hands on a few ships over the years, you guys should be even better at stealing them with all your experience and the ability to infiltrate the ranks."

"Perhaps."

He took a swig of water and glanced at the Jaffa. "Don't sound too excited."

Bra'tac looked at him wearily. "I am an old man, O'Neill."

"Pshaw!"

"At one hundred and thirty-five my body is no longer what it once was and my _prim'ta_ will mature in the next few years. Then, I shall remain here and hope my _kalach_ will learn the path through darkness into the next life."

Stunned, Jack stopped walking. "That's ridiculous. When Junior's birthday comes up, you'll just get yourself a new one. Teal'c introduced me to Shan'auc, that priestess leading your little ritual. She can probably get her hands on a tank of the little snakes for you."

"No _prim'ta_ will accept a Jaffa my age. It is how old warriors die."

"Well, that's just stupid. Give one of those snakes the choice between an old Jaffa and death, and trust me, they'll choose the old Jaffa. It's survival instinct."

Bra'tac inclined his head and grasped Jack's shoulder. "Even if that were a possibility, I do not know if I have the strength to fight anymore."

Sam hadn't gone into detail of her time with Bra'tac yet, but it was obvious to Jack from the way she spoke about the old Jaffa how highly she thought of him – both as a warrior and a mentor of sorts. Teal'c would probably tell him the same thing and insist that Bra'tac was the strongest warrior he knew. "Sure you do."

"O'Neill-"

"Hey, you started a rebellion with one former host and one apprentice less than two years ago. Today, you have a thousand rebels, all of whom will recruit others while you continue to spread the word. In a few months, you'll have doubled or tripled your numbers. Don't tell me you're giving up now."

Shaking his head, Bra'tac released him and took a step back. "Maybe it is time for someone younger and stronger than I to spread that word."

"With all due respect, Bra'tac, but that's the dumbest thing I've heard you say. You've come all this way and now you're just gonna roll over and die while the System Lords are on their way out?"

"It is not that simple, O'Neill. In my hundred and thirty-five years I have witnessed many atrocities committed by the Goa'uld and stood by and watched while even more Jaffa lost their lives."

Looking a little closer, he could see the weariness on the Jaffa's face. He understood what it was like to feel that way, but he also knew from experience that giving up wasn't the solution. "And over two years ago you had enough and finally took action. Now you've got a growing army of newly rebelled Jaffa who look to you for guidance. They need you more than ever."

Bra'tac made a noncommittal noise and turned away, continuing towards the lake. His head seemed to be held a little higher, though.

Jack followed his lead and when they reached a small wooded area he waited until they'd crossed it single file to pick up the conversation. The lake was visible in the distance when they exited the woods. "So, are we done with this midlife crisis thing of yours? Because I don't think Sam or Teal'c will be very pleased if you keel over anytime soon."

Bra'tac gave him the patented Jaffa look that was usually accompanied with a "silence, human" but didn't say anything and instead picked up the pace. Within minutes they reached the lake and he sat down on a rock, gesturing for him to settle in as well.

Jack got comfortable on a patch of grass after picking up two nearby branches, tossing one to Bra'tac. Fiddling with the fishing line and a hook, he took his time working on his makeshift fishing pole until he was satisfied and cast out his line with a smirk. "You wanna try?"

"I have all I require."

"Suit yourself."

The Jaffa 'hm'ed and pulled out a knife to sharpen the end of the branch he'd been given, working in silence.

Jack wasn't entirely sure what to think of his conversation with Bra'tac. The weariness on the Jaffa's face was clear if you looked closely enough and that wasn't surprising, considering. Bra'tac was three times his own age and even Jack had felt similar once or twice. Then again, he hadn't started a rebellion to free his people. The more he thought about it, the more Jack could understand where Bra'tac was coming from. It wasn't as if the old Jaffa Master had many people to confide in since those closest to him were also the ones he'd mentored or, in like in Teal'c's case, practically raised from childhood.

They continued with their respective tasks in a comfortable silence, until Bra'tac spoke up. "Teal'c informed me it was _Sām_ who devised a means of escape off the _Reenlokia_ vessel."

"Yeah, she came up with a solution just in time. A few minutes later and we'd all been blown up with the ship."

Bra'tac raised a brow inquiringly. "She has returned to Stargate Command then?"

Jack figured he was referring to Sam's status in general and nodded. "When she came to Earth with me she was put on medical leave to recuperate and readjust after everything she'd gone through. She chose to stay in the Air Force and was reinstated a little over a week ago. As a member of the SGC, not on an off-world team."

"She and the _sefi_ are faring well?"

"It took some time but they're… doing okay," he said, after a moment. "It took some time for Ife to adjust to the different lifestyle but now the only thing she still needs to get used to is being separated from Sam. She stays with the wife and children of Colonel Dixon from SG-13 when Sam is at the SGC."

Bra'tac looked at him with narrowed eyes, scrutinizing. "And _Sām_?"

Knowing how the Jaffa viewed weakness, Jack considered his words carefully. "She's had a lot to process since she came back and certain things to overcome after what she endured at the hands of the Goa'uld."

"Her strength and stubbornness are unparalleled by any human or Jaffa I have known throughout my life. _Sām_ will overcome that which troubles her still."

"I know," he said, impressed by the praise. No wonder Bra'tac had chosen to rebel to follow Sam if that was how he felt about her. "She's coping remarkably well, considering. But some things simply take time."

"Indeed."

Jack's attention was drawn to his fishing pole when he felt a tug on the line and he smirked. The fish he pulled in was bigger than expected and after unhooking it, he used the butt of his sidearm to kill it with a well-aimed knock to the head. Casting a look around, he spotted some kind of plant with large leaves and plucked a couple to wrap the fish in. "Ah, fishing. Well, that's my dinner taken care of."

Bra'tac 'hm'ed and got to his feet, balancing the sharpened branch in his hand and wielding it like a spear. He stepped into the lake, the water at the edge ankle-deep, and quick as lightning he jabbed into the water with the shaft. Holding it up with the sharp end first, he showed the speared fish at the top to Jack. "Fish."

"Fishing Jaffa style." Of course Bra'tac would fish in the same way he hunted. For a race that could meditate for _hours_ on end the Jaffa were pretty impatient in all other aspects of life, in Jack's experience. He made a mental note to check with Teal'c before inviting the big guy up to his cabin for a few days of _relaxing_ fishing in the summer. "You know, fishing is supposed to be relaxing."

"Fishing _Tau'ri_ style?"

This time, Jack rolled his eyes. Jaffa humor was also very different. "Yeah. It's not just about catching the fish, it's about the act of fishing."

The smirk Bra'tac bestowed on him in reply was smug and almost a bit taunting. "I've taught both _Sām_ and _sefi_ to fish. _Sām_ was quite adept at it, Jaffa style."

"You let Ife play with spears?"

"No." The Jaffa Master tossed him his spear and bent down, peering into the water and after a few seconds plunged his hands in the water. As he straightened to his full height, he showed the flopping fish he'd just caught by holding up his hands. "Like this."

Jack tried to imagine his little girl standing there trying to catch fish with her tiny hands. Sure, sometimes she was quick as a whirlwind as she ran through the house and slippery like an eel when he tried to catch, hold or dress her but he didn't think she had the reflexes or fine motor skills required for Bra'tac's way of fishing. All he could picture was Ife pouting or, worse, with a trembling chin as she failed to do the impossible and let the fish slip through her little fingers. "Dare I ask how well that went?"

He tossed the caught fish back into the lake and turned to Jack. "Her attempts were of the same skill as any Jaffa boy."

"So, they all suck at it?"

"It is an exercise in skill and patience. There are, however, certain fish that are nearly immobile in shallow water and Ife has been fortunate enough to catch one." Bra'tac stepped out of the water and glanced at the makeshift fishing pole, smirking. "I believe _sefi_ 's fishing would be more fruitful if she adopted her father's approach."

Surprised, he gaped at Bra'tac. Sam hadn't told the old coot the truth because she'd wanted to tell him first and she hadn't seen Bra'tac since she returned to Earth and Teal'c wouldn't deem it his place to inform Bra'tac of Ife's paternity. Had he known all along? Clearing his throat, he held up his hands, "Guess you figured it out a while ago?"

"The similarities between you and _sefi_ are as apparent as the dripping nose of a Setesh guard."

Jack wasn't quite sure what that meant but the knowing look on Bra'tac's face told him it had indeed been obvious and that only a fool wouldn't have noticed. "Personally, I think she takes after Sam in the looks department. She definitely has my loveable personality, though."

"When Shan'auc and I came upon _Sām_ after _mesi_ the _sefi_ was unlike any Jaffa _rer_ I had seen before. However in the coming months the _sefi's_ resemblance to you was undeniable. Among Jaffa _rer_ resemble the father up until they are _mes_. That was shortly before you arrived on Utcha. It would appear to be similar with _Tau'ri_ youngsters."

"I don't understand half of what you just said, but thanks. I think."

Bra'tac didn't say anything and simply joined him, watching as he started gutting the two fish, wisely keeping any commentary he might have to himself. "Major Ferretti explained the _Tau'ri_ have two _chaapa'ai_ ," he said after a while, breaking the silence. "You will use the second one to return home, hm?"

Jack made sure to finish preparing the fish and put his knife away before glancing up at him. "The second gate is the reason we could beam up the first one to Thor's ship to escape. We found it a couple of years ago in a very cold and uninhabited part of our planet.

"Daniel's theory is that the creators of the stargate put it there and then at some point it was lost in the ice, so they brought in a second one thousands of years later. Or the Goa'uld did when they came to Earth. Either way, we can only use one gate at the time, so the second one was put in storage. We're just waiting for Sam and her geeks to get it up and running to be able to go home."

"How much time does _Sām_ require to complete this task?"

He shrugged and started folding the fish in the leaves he'd plucked earlier. "It'll be up any day now. Figured I'll go to the gate and dial up Earth after dinner."

Smiling, Bra'tac clasped his shoulder. "You are eager to return to _Sām_ and _sefi_. Very well, I will accompany you to the _chaapa'ai_."


	22. Chapter 22

**Stargate Command**   
**Colorado Spring, CO**   
**January 15, 2000**

Doctor MacKenzie gestured for Sam to take a seat and sat down himself. "I'm glad you could make it, Sam."

She flushed in embarrassment, recalling how she'd kept canceling and postponing her appointments with him the past week. "I'm sorry for not coming earlier, but it was rather hectic the past couple of days."

"I understand there was a close call yesterday?"

Recalling the momentary panic over the discovered Russian submarine, she nodded. "At least one of the Replicators survived reentry and managed to replicate and form a giant 'mother bug', as it were. SG-2 was sent in though and managed to destroy all the remaining Replicators."

"That must have been frightening," the psychiatrist said. "Especially in light of the narrow escape Thor and SG-1 had."

"I suppose we were lucky the Asgard told us all about the Replicators. If they hadn't, we might not have realized how to destroy them; they literally are what they eat and our submarines aren't made of the same stuff as Asgard battleships."

He looked up from his notes with something akin to surprise. "It doesn't worry you?"

Frowning, she wondered what he meant. "The close call? From what I've seen so far that's something I'm going to have to get used to, considering the frequency of near-misses at the SGC. But I know the SG teams are well trained and they have a lot more experience now than when I was assigned to SG-7."

"The Replicators," he clarified. "Granted, I don't know as much about them as you do, but they sound like a formidable enemy. Didn't they nearly kill the Supreme Commander of the Asgard?"

"Well, yeah. But if you're asking if they frighten me because they're an additional threat and possibly more dangerous than the Goa'uld then the answer is no," Sam said, after a beat.

If she were honest, she hadn't really given it much thought. The beta stargate had kept her occupied enough, but now that she started thinking about it she realized they could never frighten her the way the Goa'uld had. "The Replicators aren't evil creatures hell-bent on galactic domination with a love of torturing innocent people or overtaking their bodies. They're just… someone's invention. Their only goal is to replicate. There are no emotions behind it or hidden agendas. Technology is something I can understand," she explained haltingly. "It's the evil nature of the Goa'uld that causes my nightmares."

Doctor MacKenzie gave her a moment to regroup before he spoke again. "How frequent are the nightmares?"

"Just a few times a week at most," she said, shrugging. There had been times when she woke up in a cold sweat every night, more than once. Not anymore. She suspected her current life and Jack's presence in it were the reason. "They're not as intense anymore either."

"That's good, that's progress."

"I guess."

"And what about this past week?"

She ran a hand through her hair and sighed. It had proven more difficult than she would have liked to sleep while Jack was gone. She knew it wasn't necessarily because of his absence, but the fact that she had no idea where he was and if he was safe. If it hadn't been for Ife's calming presence she might not have slept at all. But watching their little girl sleep and listening to her deep breathing allowed her to doze off, eventually. "I haven't slept much."

He raised his eyebrows in a silent question.

"I've been busy. I know I probably shouldn't have canceled our appointments. You and Doctor Fraiser both warned me that sleep deprivation could be 'a symptom of underlying issues'."

"We did," he said, chuckling softly at her quote. "But in this case the underlying issue was the situation here at the SGC. Losing sleep over it isn't entirely abnormal, especially not from someone with your workaholic tendencies."

His tone with its slight reprimand reminded her of her Dad and she couldn't suppress a grin. "I know, but I did promise to come to you in case of any changes in my sleeping pattern and to keep up our weekly sessions."

"You were installing the beta stargate," he said without accusations. "I'm well aware of the importance of that task."

"Oh."

He raised his brows but when she didn't say anything else he spoke up again, "General Hammond informed me earlier today that all the stranded teams have returned, with the exception of SG-1 and Major Ferretti?"

"Once the gate was operational again we dialed the Alpha Site and recalled the teams, but SG-1 hadn't reported in there yet." They had no idea where they'd gone from Thor's ship and it was nerve-wracking to wait around in the hopes of them randomly dialing in to come home.

Sam was aware it was just a matter of time before Jack would return because she knew they'd made it through the stargate aboard Thor's ship, but with the beta gate in place there was nothing to keep her mind occupied in the meantime. Taking a deep breath, she tried to calm her nerves and smiled at the shrink, "The mission roster has been put in effect again and some of the other teams already left this morning."

MacKenzie smiled in that benign way of his, a look of understanding on his face. "I imagine you are here now because that means another hour at the SGC – and a lot can happen in an hour."

Sam had the grace to blush and looked away. "I'm not good at waiting around. I've already started on a proposition to rewrite some of the protocols of the dialing computer but General Hammond told me to leave it be for now."

"You are still on light duty."

"And I put in extra hours the past couple of days to get the beta stargate in operation." The overtime had been approved by both Doctor Fraiser and General Hammond, although she had no idea if it was due to the emergency or a reconsideration of her working hours.

Of course, she'd left the base before dinner time every day because of Ife, so perhaps it was merely overlooked because of the temporary nature. Pulling all-nighters had been tempting and if she didn't have Ife to take care of she probably would have done it – and succeeded a hell of a lot sooner.

He scribbled something down in his notebook, nodding. "And how has all of that affected your personal life?"

Shrugging, she considered the question. "Aside from Ife there's not much of a personal life, I guess."

"How is your daughter doing?"

"She's adjusting well. Colonel Dixon's wife babysits when I'm at the SGC and she told me Ife has started playing with the other kids and is more outgoing when she's over there. She's also less clingy when I pick up her compared with the first week, but I do think she misses Jack."

Leaning back in his chair, MacKenzie steepled his fingers as he regarded her. "Missing her father is natural, especially when he is absent for several days. It sounds like she's turning into a well-adjusted little girl."

"I hope so."

"And what about you, Sam? I can tell you're anxious for Colonel O'Neill to return home."

She sighed deeply and fiddled with the hem of her BDU jacket, her mind going light-years a minute as she tried to determine how, exactly, she felt. Her way of coping had basically been burying herself in work – exactly what she'd accused her own father of doing after her mother died. "I'm not sure," she said slowly, shifting in her seat. "I guess I feel responsible."

He cocked his head to the side with a thoughtful expression. "Why do you feel responsible? The Asgard chose to enlist Colonel O'Neill's help and from what I heard, Mister Teal'c and Major Ferretti volunteered to join him. You did everything you could to find a way for them to return home – and you found one."

"I thought it would be simple when Jack first told us," she confessed. "But none of the solutions we came up with worked or were impossible to execute because of the Replicators. Beaming up the stargate was more of a last resort and yes, it worked, but it took us far too long to install the beta stargate."

"I'm sure Colonel O'Neill and the others are safe. They'd know it takes time to set everything up here and check in regularly."

"I know."

Confusion flashed over his face and he frowned. "Then why do you feel responsible?"

Sam was well aware of how much sense his question made, but she couldn't explain why she felt the way she did. Her sense of responsibility had always been strong and sometimes misplaced. "I don't know. Maybe I shouldn't have let Jack talk me out of joining him."

"Then you would both be stranded, assuming you would have come up with the idea while under heavy attack and without the assistance of other scientists in the first place. Your daughter would be without her parents. Does that feel like a better situation?"

"No, no it doesn't. Besides, General Hammond wouldn't have let me go, even if Jack had agreed."

"If you hadn't been here, at the SGC, not only would your daughter have been without her parents, but there is also no telling how long it would have taken the others to install the beta stargate. I was told you used Herit's knowledge to find a solution to the technical issues you were experiencing."

She tensed involuntarily and hoped he hadn't noticed. The last thing she needed was for him to report to General Hammond that her response to being confronted with the Goa'uld's knowledge was suspect. Taking a deep breath, she looked him in the eye and shrugged a little. "I didn't even realize at the time. Not until I saw Catherine's reaction to what I'd just said."

"Has that happened before?"

"Accessing Herit's memories without realizing it? Not that I recall," she lied. "Usually it requires a lot of effort and concentration."

MacKenzie let silence reign for a few minutes, watching her, gauging her. "When you say usually, do you mean when you attempt to access the Goa'uld's knowledge on purpose?"

Nodding, she bit her lip and silently weighed how much she was willing to reveal. "Like when I tried to help in locating Amaunet or to obtain information about the System Lords or Goa'uld Queens."

"Perhaps the key to accessing that knowledge is to _not_ try so hard."

"Are you suggesting external stimulation?"

He held up his hands and smiled. "This is new territory for me as well, Sam. But the truth is, working on the problem with the second stargate is what prompted the Goa'uld's memories to come forward."

Long ago, even before returning to Earth, Sam had decided she wouldn't reveal just how much access she had to Herit's knowledge or that she could still use the Goa'uld's technology. She wasn't a distrustful person by nature but her experience with Lieutenant Colonel Grieves and the Rogue NID and the hell that followed had stripped away any naivety she once had. There was no reason to give the Air Force or NID more reasons to examine what had happened to her more closely. But she was smart enough to play along – for now. "By recreating the circumstances?"

"That might not always be possible. Perhaps hypnosis would prove effective, though."

"Maybe," she said. "In the future."

Doctor MacKenzie nodded, seeming pleased. "There's no rush."

She shared a smile with him and hoped it was convincing enough. "Right now I just want to focus on moving forward with my life and returning to active duty."

"And I believe you are well on your way to doing that." He glanced at his notes and when he looked up again, he caught her checking her watch. "We would be able to hear the klaxons for an unscheduled off-world activation here, Sam."

"Oh, right."

The shrink chuckled softly at her abashed expression. "There's no reason to be embarrassed. It can't be easy to wait for the father of your child to return after such a dangerous mission."

"Nerve-wracking," she admitted.

"The last time we spoke, you were living with Colonel O'Neill and had only recently told him the truth about Ife. Now, I know all the paperwork and finances have been handled for your 'return', but it's my understanding you are still living with the Colonel?"

Sam nodded an acknowledgement. "He's still bonding with Ife as her father and Ife is finally settled in the life we've created for her here on Earth. It seems counterproductive to shake things up again for her."

"How is the co-parenting working out for you?"

They hadn't really discussed it and just sort of eased into it after her confession, so she wasn't sure how to answer the question. "All right, I guess. Jack is great with Ife. We haven't had to make any big decisions yet about her upbringing, but I think we're on the same page."

MacKenzie jotted down some notes and then glanced up with a curious look. "It sounds like you and Colonel O'Neill are getting along well on a personal level."

"We're still learning how to navigate a personal relationship," she hedged.

"A personal relationship?" He parroted, intrigued.

"Things between us have become more… familiar."

"Have you by any chance become romantically involved?"

Sam bit her lip, hesitating. Damn. Apparently she'd just given away exactly what she'd been trying to keep from him. And he wasn't pulling any punches, either. "We're… trying."

The psychiatrist looked at her curiously. "Trying? Is something preventing you two from forming a romantic relationship?"

"It's not easy. Not after, well, everything."

"Did you expect it to be easy?"

She chuckled mirthlessly, shaking her head. When had her love life ever been easy? Prior to her reassignment to SG-7 and the night she spent with Jack, it had been pretty non-existent for quite some time. Not to mention the only serious relationship she'd had was with Jonas Hanson… "No," she said, sighing. "Maybe easy is the wrong word."

Folding his hands, he watched her for a moment as she considered her relationship with Jack. A minute or two passed before he spoke again, "Relationships aren't always easy. A lot has happened to you while you were off-world, it's normal for there to be difficulty adjusting to things you used to take for granted. From what little you've told me about your past I get the impression relationships with the men in your life were difficult, even before your time with the Goa'uld."

"Oh. I guess you could say that," she said slowly.

"Does that surprise you?"

Shrugging, she fiddled with her BDU jacket and thought about what he'd just said. "I never gave it much thought."

"We've briefly talked about your upbringing and how your relationship with both your father and brother changed after your mother passed away."

"And I've only had one serious relationship that ended in a broken-off engagement," she supplied, grimacing. A little voice in the back of her mind told her perhaps she had unresolved issues and the voice sounded suspiciously like her best friend from the Academy, who'd constantly told her she had 'daddy issues', simply because she was attracted to older men. Of course, at the time she had no idea how messed up Jonas really was.

MacKenzie gave her a placating smile. "There is nothing wrong with being cautious. Trust and love are fragile things, especially for people who've lost those closest to them. It's okay to be careful with your heart, Sam."

His words and gentle tone struck a chord deep inside of her and Sam found herself swallowing hard against the emotions they elicited. After Jonas, she'd guarded her heart even more closely and it wasn't until Ife came along that she allowed herself to open up. "I guess…" Faltering, she cleared her throat and tried again, "I suppose I kept people at an arm's length."

"And now you've found someone you want to let into your life."

"Yeah."

He smiled, sympathy shining in his eyes. "That's a wonderful thing, Sam."

The earlier emotions dissipated and she felt herself relax, chuckling softly. "I guess it is."

"Now, don't get me wrong; we're not here to analyze your love life or your relationships with men in the past. However, I think it's important to acknowledge that any relationship issues you encounter with Colonel O'Neill might be part of a pattern from your past. It doesn't necessarily have anything to do with what you went through."

"I know, and I understand," she said softly. There _were_ other issues directly linked to her time with Klorel and the lifestyle that followed that were affecting her relationship with Jack, though. She just wasn't sure how much she wanted to tell the psychiatrist.

The Doctor leaned forward and waited until he'd caught her gaze. "You haven't spoken much about the time you spent with the Goa'uld. Apophis as well as Klorel and Herit," he clarified. "I know you're a typical military brat and that you're not likely to pour your heart out to me. I don't expect you to, Sam. But I want you to know that I am here if you do want to talk about it."

She heard what he left unsaid and nodded in understanding. Confiding in him wasn't on her agenda anytime soon, especially not when it would reveal just how much control she'd had. That was something she wanted to keep up in the air for as long as possible. Just in case. Besides, she had Jack, a man she trusted with her life – and secrets. "Thank you, Doctor. I'm not sure how much help it could be, though."

"Do you feel like your ordeal is affecting your relationship with Colonel O'Neill?"

"Not in the way you probably imagine," she said, after a moment. "I confided in him and Jack is being very… patient and careful with me."

MacKenzie raised his brows in surprise. "You disagree with his… behavior towards you?"

"Look, I know you've probably heard some of what I endured or at least what has been speculated about my time as Herit, but I don't need him to treat me like I'm a helpless, traumatized rape victim who doesn't know what she wants."

"Do you feel like that is how he treats you?"

She was impressed with his complete non-reaction to her frustrated explanation and blew out a deep breath. "Every time we kiss, he ends up pulling back. Afraid of hurting me. I tried to explain to him that while my experience was horrible, I don't need him to treat me like I'm made of glass."

"It sounds like Colonel O'Neill is worried that his actions might trigger something for you. Naturally, he wants to avoid doing anything that will adversely affect you."

"That's more or less what he told me, too. I just don't know how to get through to him; of course I have bad memories and sometimes I still have nightmares, but that doesn't mean I'm incapable of enjoying… intimacy. I want to move forward and right now, it feels like every time we take a step forward, we end up taking two steps backwards."

The psychiatrist regarded her pensively, tapping his pen to his notebook. "Colonel O'Neill isn't a fan of my profession and in my experience, he will do whatever he can to avoid any counseling.

"However, from what little interaction we've had, I can tell you he's an honorable man who is by no means as dumb as he likes to pretend. Ironically, he hates it when others play games and prefers the direct approach. Above all though, he would never intentionally hurt someone he cares about and while he has a gruff exterior, he cares deeply."

The way he described Jack rang true to her and it made her wonder how much the psychiatrist knew about Charlie and Sara. "I know. He's just trying to protect me."

"Sam, I believe you when you say you don't feel traumatized by what you've gone through. From what I've seen so far, you seem to have found a way to deal with what was done to you. But have you ever considered that maybe Colonel O'Neill hasn't had the time to process it yet?"

"What do you mean?"

MacKenzie held up his hand to forestall a reaction as he explained, "I know this happened to you and I'm not saying that it somehow affects Colonel O'Neill more than it does you. However, you have had almost two years to come to terms with your ordeal. Colonel O'Neill has only just found out the extent of your trauma – in the clinical sense – despite any suspicions he might have had prior and he's most likely still trying to come to grips with everything."

Frowning, she wondered if that was true. It made sense. Sort of. "Are you saying I'm moving too fast for Jack?"

"I can't judge whether the pace of your relationship is right for the two of you," he said. "But I think it's important to keep in mind that the Colonel cares for you and will do whatever he can to avoid hurting you. When it comes to his baser instincts he's not a complex man and perhaps a more direct approach is required to convince him that you are ready for a more intimate relationship."

Sam was still contemplating his advice when the alarm on her watch went off. "Oh. It's time to pick up Ife."

Doctor MacKenzie collected his notes and smiled at her. "Our time is almost up anyway. Pick up your daughter and just think about what we discussed today, Sam."

"I will."

"Oh, and Sam? Don't forget to make a new appointment for next week."

She nodded and got to her feet. It wouldn't hurt to detour to the control room to see if they'd heard any news from SG-1 on her way to the locker room, would it?

* * *

**O'Neill Residence**   
**Colorado Springs, CO**

Sometime between being beamed up to Thor's ship and returning through the beta stargate it had stopped snowing in Colorado Springs, but Jack took no notice as he jumped out of his truck to go into his house. The lights were still on and knowing Sam and Ife were waiting for him made him rush inside, the knowledge warming him more than the central heating could.

After leaving Hammond in the gate room Jack had called ahead, letting Sam know he was all right and would be home after the debriefing and post-mission exam. The sound of her voice had done funny things to his insides and made him even more determined to get home fast.

"Daddy!"

He'd barely shucked his jacket when Ife barreled into him, wrapping her little arms around his legs. Grinning, he swung her up in his arms and hugged her. "There's my favorite munchkin!"

She giggled against his neck, her hair tickling his chin. "Missed Daddy."

"I missed you, too," he said, tightening his arms around her small body. Over the top of her head, he saw Sam standing in the entryway, watching them. He caught her gaze and his breath hitched at the naked emotions in her eyes. "Hey there."

"Hey yourself."

Jack found himself returning her smile and reached for her, "C'mere."

The word had barely left his lips when she crossed the distance and hugged him. "You're okay," she breathed, as if she had to verify for herself.

"Yeah," he said, enveloping her in his arms. Ife was squished between them but their little girl didn't seem to mind. He buried his nose in Sam's hair, inhaling her familiar scent. "God, I missed you."

She smiled against his neck, her nose brushing his skin. "I'm glad you're all right. Sorry it took me so long to get the gate working."

Jack tightened his grip on her and pulled her flush against his body, needing her close. It had only been a few days but somehow it felt a lot longer since he'd last held her. "I knew you'd fix it," he murmured.

"It was a team effort."

"That's not what Hammond said," he replied, raising a brow.

Pulling away slightly to look at him, she shrugged. "It would have taken longer if it'd just been me."

He caressed her cheek with his fingers and, unable to resist the lure of her lips, leaned in for a brief kiss. She responded eagerly, catching him by surprise. Just as he slid his hand in her hair to pull her mouth impossibly closer, Ife squirmed against him and he had to break off the kiss. "Sorry."

"Don't be," Sam said, smirking.

"Daddy kisses."

Grinning, he tapped Ife's little nose with his finger and pressed a kiss to the top of her head. "Have you and Mommy had dinner yet?"

She nodded in an exaggerated manner, a cheeky little smile on her face. "Yup."

"Why don't you go get Daddy the drawings you made for him, sweetie?" Sam asked, running a hand through their daughter's hair.

"For me?"

Ife flashed him another grin when he put her down and then she dashed off to the kitchen.

He turned to Sam, frowning. "She's changed somehow," he said. Ife was boisterous compared to how quiet she'd been. Sure, she'd run around the house but a few weeks ago she'd have just smiled that cheeky grin at him when he got home, rather than throw herself at him. And she was chattier, more confident. "How did I miss that?"

"I think you were a little busy preventing Earth from being invaded by Replicators."

"Sam-"

She rested her hand on his chest and sighed, "I'm being serious, Jack. I think it's all that time she spends with the Dixon kids. She's finally settling in on Earth."

Well, he supposed that was a good development. Smiling, he wrapped his arms loosely around Sam's waist, pleasantly surprised when she relaxed against his chest. He tugged her a little closer until they were pressed against each other from toes to shoulders. "I haven't had a chance to say thank you for saving my life."

"Oh." Biting her lip, she fought a smile but after a few seconds she faltered. She beamed at him and he realized that Ife wasn't the only one who'd changed – Sam seemed more at ease and carefree as well. "I'm sure you can find some way to show your appreciation."

"I'm sure I can," he said after a moment. Was she flirting with him? Before he could do or say anything, Sam gave him a quick kiss and disentangled herself from him. "Wha-"

She stepped aside, revealing Ife behind her. "Why don't you two spend some time together while I take a quick shower?"

Canting his head, he caught their daughter's dark blue gaze and winked at her. "Sure. We can keep ourselves entertained, right munchkin?"

"You can tell us all about your adventures when I get back."

Jack watched her retreat to the back of the house and picked up Ife, walking over to the living room with her. She held a stack of drawings in her little hands, smoothing them against his chest with the same frown on her face as Sam the few times he'd caught her working in her lab. He settled on the sofa, Ife in his lap and snuggled against his chest and took the drawings from her. "You made these for me?"

Ife nodded and started pointing out things to him, chatting happily. He oohed and awed over them, feeling almost absurdly proud over her achievement. He'd almost forgotten the emotions little things like drawings by his child elicited in him and he held her a little tighter, his gaze drifting to Charlie's photograph on the mantelpiece.

Sam interrupted his melancholic moment as she silently entered the living room. She was freshly showered, dressed in a pair of his sweatpants and a long-sleeved button down – and no bra. Oh hell. He tried to ignore the outline of her full breasts or the soft bounce as she walked around the coffee table, her damp hair gleaming in the light of the fireplace and instead focused on her gorgeous smile. God, he'd really missed her.

The moment she sat down he reached for her and Sam snuggled into his side, resting her cheek against his shoulder.

Jack took a moment to enjoy having the two of them in his arms, before he started talking about what had happened after Thor beamed him up. He knew Sam would be curious about everything he'd seen and heard, but also about Thor. She'd mentioned her fascination with the Asgard and their technology once or twice, so he told her as much as he could remember. Ife was still at an age where he felt comfortable talking about classified stuff and the little girl seemed happy just to lean against him as he talked.

In turn, Sam told him about the struggle they had at the SGC to get the beta stargate up and running. She also mentioned her little talk with Catherine about Herit's knowledge.

Burying his nose in her wet hair, he inhaled the fragrance of her shampoo and her own scent. He huffed when she apologized again for taking so long. "Stop it," he murmured. "We knew it would take some time to get everything up and running."

"You were gone for five days."

"Could have been a lot longer if you hadn't been there," he said, shrugging. "Besides, it gave us the opportunity to visit the Rebel Jaffa and for Teal'c to spend some more time with his family."

She asked him about the rebels and Ife squealed when he mentioned Bra'tac, so he told them all about his time with the Jaffa Master. By the time he finished, Ife was yawning and rubbing her eyes. Sam asked him if he wanted to put her to bed and he did, he'd missed both of them. The realization that he could have died on Thor's ship just when he had a family again had hit him hard and he needed to spend time with them to reassure himself that they were fine.

"Take your time," Sam said, leaning forward to kiss Ife good night. "I'll be here when you get back."

Jack did as she suggested and bathed Ife before helping her into pajamas and reading her a bedtime story. He wasn't even three pages in when she nodded off and he just watched her sleep for a bit. By the time he rejoined Sam about an hour had passed and she had brought snacks and wine to the living room.

Grabbing a handful of nuts, he plopped down on the sofa and stretched out. "She's asleep."

"What about you? Did you get any sleep the past couple of days?"

"Mhhmm," Jack mumbled as she ran her hands through his hair. "Unlike Ferretti and Teal'c I got a few hours of zees every night. They barely left the temple as part of that ritual… that reminds me, don't ask them about their weird little goatees on Monday."

She looked at him over the rim of her wineglass and chuckled. "Did Bra'tac tell you the goatee wasn't mandatory?"

Munching on the nuts, he raised a brow at her. "He did."

"Oh."

"So," he said, taking the glass from her to wash away the nuts. "Bra'tac and Moac basically asked me what my intentions were towards you when we left Kheb."

She took a sip of wine as well before setting the glass on the table. "Did you tell them it was none of their business?"

Smirking, he caught her hand in his and played with her fingers. "Something like that, yeah. I think it was a test."

"Agreed," Sam said, smiling wickedly. "Now, let's stop talking about Bra'tac and move onto you showing your appreciation…"

Jack leaned back when she suddenly straddled him and for a moment he had no idea what to do with his hands. Finally, he settled them on her hips, feeling her body heat through the thin fabric of her – technically, his – shirt. Her hands slipped around his neck and then her lips were on his, warm and soft. Closing his eyes, Jack let himself get swept up in her kiss, his fingers twitching against her waist as her tongue traced his lips.

Growing a little bolder, Sam bit his bottom lip and played with the hair at the back of his neck. He groaned low in his throat when her nails scraped over his scalp and felt his body response. Desire was growing inside of him and he opened his mouth, welcoming her tongue with his own.

She leaned more of her weight on him, one hand settling on his chest. The touch nearly burned into his flesh despite the layer of fabric, fueling the heat already building between them. She gasped when his fingers dug into her in response, whispering his name between kisses. Her breathless sounds went straight to his groin and he was starting to feel dizzy with all his blood rushing south.

He nearly lost it when she rolled her hips and reached up to slide his fingers into her hair, taking back some control. She mewled when he took over the kiss and pressed her breasts flush against him. Her nipples were already hard and made him grow even harder as they rubbed his chest.

"Jack," she breathed, breaking away from him.

Sam's eyes were impossibly dark and a little glossed over, making him feel absurdly proud of himself. Smirking, he leaned in to kiss her already swollen lips, unable to resist.

She giggled softly and started kissing along his jaw, her soft breath washing against his skin. When she reached his ear she nuzzled his hair before sucking his earlobe into her mouth.

He bucked in response, feeling it all the way to his twitching cock when she bit the soft fleshy part and tugged on it. His hand moved automatically to trace her own ear, eliciting a soft moan from her.

"I want you to touch me," she whispered.

He swallowed hard, trying to keep his desire in check. "Are you sure?"

She pulled back to look him in the eye, an irresistible smile on her face, and shifted her weight until her heat was pressed against his erection. "Yes."

"God, Sam," he groaned, head falling back.

She sought out his neck with her mouth, nipping and kissing, making him shudder when her tongue dashed out. Her hand roamed his chest, rubbing up and down, leaving a trail of fire in its wake and he bit his lip in an effort not to press his hard-on into her.

Once he regained some of his self-control he decided to take her up on her offer and started moving one hand up her side brushing the outside of her breast, while using the other to slowly trail down her back. A shiver ran down her spine and she arched into him with a soft gasp.

Jack figured it was good thing he hadn't changed into sweatpants or she'd have been able to feel more than she might be comfortable with, but she surprised him by grinding against him. He gritted his teeth at the feeling of her moving on him and slid his hand farther down to cup her ass.

A strangled noise sounded from the back of her throat and then she was sitting up, looking straight at him with heavy-lidded eyes and purposely circled her hips. Holding her gaze, he pulled her impossibly closer and reciprocated. Her eyes fluttered closed as he pushed into her and he couldn't hold back a groan at the sensation.

"Jack…" Biting her lip, Sam leaned back a little and brought up her hands to unbutton her shirt.

He watched her with dark eyes and a painful hard-on as she popped the first button, his fingers itching to explore the uncovered skin. By the time the fourth button was undone his mouth had turned dry and his self-restraint was close to snapping. Still, he waited until she'd popped all the buttons to reach for her.

Sam's breathing hitched when he touched her belly and he could see her muscles ripple under his fingers. He circled her belly button and then ever so slowly trailed up her abdomen, resting his hands on her lower ribs. Smirking, he swept his thumbs along the undersides of her breasts, reveling in the intimate caress.

And finally, he pushed aside the fabric of her button down to expose her breasts. They were fuller than before and… oh yeah, more sensitive too. She shuddered and moaned low in her throat as he cupped her breasts and brushed her nipples with his thumbs, circling the hard peaks languidly.

God, she was beautiful.

When she started moving against him he pushed his hips up experimentally and she ground down on him in response. Her blue gaze locked on his and, with a sexy little smirk, she covered one of his hands with hers and pushed it away.

Jack swallowed hard as he let her guide his hand down her taut abdomen, the skin soft under his callused fingertips. He dipped a finger in her belly button and was rewarded with the hottest little sound he'd ever heard. She faltered for a moment but then she covered the back of his hand again and moved it lower, until he encountered the waistband of her sweatpants. Without a word, she raised up on her knees a little and, oh god, pushed his hand down her pants.

He barely had time to process the fact before he briefly encountered her curls and then all he felt was molten heat. He fought to keep his eyes open, his gaze skittering from her blue eyes to where his hand disappeared into her pants. "No underwear?"

"Nope," Sam said, smirking at his rough voice. She released his hand when he cupped her and steadied herself on his shoulder, leaning in for a quick kiss. "Figured I'd forego your boxers tonight."

"That's really…" He cleared his throat, the feel of her warm and slick skin nearly short-circuiting his brain. "Really hot."

She pushed into his hand, moaning low and deep. "Less talking more… Oh yeah."

Slowly, he started exploring her sensitive flesh. So smooth and wet and warm. She felt so good. And if the hot little sounds she was making were any indication, she was enjoying his ministrations.

The bare skin of her hip was warm under his rough palm when he steadied her with his free hand, her hips starting to move restlessly on his other. He was using the tops of his fingers to map out her slick flesh, relearning what she liked and what made her breathing hitch. Her clit was swollen already and he skimmed the bundle of nerves.

"Don't stop," she murmured, resting her cheek against his.

As if! He leaned into her, brushing her jaw with his lips. "There's no rush."

She huffed a little and moved her hips. "Jack…"

He smirked at her little whine and continued with his slow caresses, circling her opening a few times before gently dipping inside. She was practically dripping and he knew she was more than ready but he kept up his gentle exploration for fear of bringing back bad memories. "Patience, Sam."

"I want you inside of me," she whispered, grinding against his hand.

The movement trapped his hand between them and he growled at the additional pressure to his straining erection. God, he was so hard. "That's not… helping, you know."

She had the audacity to giggle, her huffs of breath against his ear sending another jolt of pleasure to his groin. His eyes nearly rolled into the back of his head when his finger was pushed even deeper inside of her. She was so warm and wet… He wanted to bury his cock inside of her so badly but he knew that wasn't going to happen. Not today, anyway.

"Jack, please."

"Sam," he groaned. "I'm not… Damn it, I don't have any protection."

She stilled completely and looked at him with an adorably confused expression. "Really?"

Well, yeah. It wasn't like he'd spent the last few years dating or sleeping around. Shrugging, he tried to explain, "I figure after last time… well, condoms might be a good idea."

"Shit."

"Sam, it's fine."

She wrapped her hands around his neck and pulled him in for a deep kiss. Things got heated fast and when she started moaning around his tongue and wriggling her hips, he cautiously picked up his earlier ministrations and dipped two fingers inside of her. He slipped them in and out in sync with his tongue, ignoring his hard-on as best he could. Soon, she was dripping down his fingers and broke off the kiss, panting hard. He could tell she was close and used his thumb to gently caress her swollen clit, making her buck into his hand.

"Jack-"

"Relax," he whispered into her hair. Her hips jerked when he flicked her clit and he picked up the pace of his fingers, until he felt her inner muscles contract around him and she flew apart in his arms.

She fell forward, boneless. Her breasts were pressed against his chest and his hand trapped between them as the aftershocks of her orgasm ran through her. "Wow."

Smirking, he took his hand back and gathered her in his arms. "Good, huh?"

"Very," she said, smiling. "But you're-"

"Oh, I'm good, Sam. I'm good," he said, pressing a kiss in her hair.


	23. Chapter 23

**O'Neill Residence**   
**Colorado Springs, CO**   
**January 16, 2000**

Light was already filtering through the master bedroom's curtains when Sam woke up and her daughter wasn't in bed anymore. Sleepily, she blinked at the alarm clock and was surprised at the late hour. She'd slept half the morning away!

She found herself smiling as she stretched and thought about the reason she'd slept so well. Last night with Jack had been good. Really, really good. An uncharacteristic giggle escaped her at the memory and rolled her eyes at herself. She was a grown woman and not some silly teen with her first sexual experience, for crying out loud.

But still her mind lingered on the memory of last night. It had felt good to be intimate with Jack, better than she remembered and there hadn't even been a nanosecond in which she'd had doubts or bad memories. All she'd been able to focus on were his hands and kisses and the feelings they elicited in her. Who'd have thought MacKenzie's advice about being more direct would help? Of course, she probably should have thought it through before starting anything, considering the way things had ended.

She smiled again, thinking of how considerate Jack had been despite his own arousal. After some more kissing, they'd eventually gotten off the sofa to go to bed. At her bedroom door they'd kissed once more and retreated into their own rooms. It hadn't been awkward or tense at all, even though they both knew that he'd be taking things into his own hand before getting some sleep.

After another glance at the clock, Sam pushed up off the bed to get ready.

After getting up, she went through her usual bathroom routine before slipping on some fluffy socks and leaving the bedroom. The smell of coffee lured her to the kitchen – she hadn't realized how much she missed it until she came back – and there she found Jack cleaning the counters while Ife was sitting at the table, happily munching on some fruit.

It felt very… domestic. In a good way.

Jack looked up when she entered the kitchen, smiling. God, he looked good in his jeans and black sweater. "Hey there, sleepyhead."

"Good morning." She replied and walked over to Ife, snagging a strawberry from her bowl.

"Morning Momma."

Leaning down, she pressed a kiss to Ife's hair. "Hi sweetie."

Jack had already poured her a cup of coffee when she reached the counter. "Want some food to go with that? I made pancakes…"

"Thanks." She accepted the coffee and slipped her hand in his mussed hair to pull him closer for a kiss. "And I'd love some pancakes."

He looked surprised yet pleased at the gesture. "Good morning indeed."

"What?"

"I didn't exp-"

"Not even after last night?" She asked with a raised brow.

He shrugged sheepishly, looking totally adorable. "Well, I didn't want to assume…"

Sam was momentarily distracted by his hands he tapped his fingers on the counter. He had great hands with very talented fingers and just the memory of last night made heat coil low in her belly. "I think last night proved we should stop assuming and just say what we want."

"Hmm, I like that," he said, leaning in for another quick kiss after wrapping his arms around her waist.

"Me too." She wrapped her other arm around him and pulled him in for a deeper kiss.

When the need for air became too much he broke it off, his breathing a little erratic. He glanced over her shoulder to their daughter and frowned, "You don't think this is gonna…"

She smirked in amusement when he trailed off. "What, have a bad influence on her? I doubt it'll set a bad example. As a matter of fact-"

The phone rang, interrupting her.

"Let it ring," Jack said, waving dismissively. "Breakfast awaits."

"Are you sure?" She asked, looking in the direction of the living room from where the sound was coming. They didn't get a lot of phone calls, especially not on the weekend.

"They'll call my cell phone if it's important."

He was referring to the SGC and she knew he made a good point, so she took her coffee and took a seat next to Ife. The phone stopped ringing.

Jack made a triumphant gesture and went over to the fridge to get her some maple syrup. Just then the familiar ringtone of his cell phone went off and he sighed deeply. "Damn."

"Maybe it's nothing major," Sam tried.

"I doubt they'd disturb me on my Sunday morning."

She tried not to eavesdrop and focused her attention on Ife, but she couldn't help overhear part of the conversation as Jack spoke to the person on the other end.

"Sam," Jack said suddenly, frowning. "They want us to come in. Both of us."

The hairs in the back of her neck rose, alarmed. "What is it?"

He signed off and pocketed the phone again. "We're not under attack or anything but Thor dropped by with something to discuss. Hammond wants us both present."

"Oh."

"Dixon is doing the weekend shift and he told Hammond that we could check with his wife to see if she can take Ife for us, so you better get dressed and I'll get Ife's things ready."

They didn't speak much during the ride over, neither feeling the need to speculate about the reason they needed to attend a meeting with Thor. Fortunately, dropping Ife off at the Dixon home was no problem at all despite the short notice. Forty minutes after Jack received the call they entered the mountain and were immediately sent to the briefing room, where Thor and General Hammond were already waiting for them.

Jack smiled broadly as he stepped into the room. "Thor, buddy! It's good to see you up and around."

Following him a little more sedately, Sam glanced from the small grey alien in one of the leather chairs to Jack to the General and nodded, "Sir."

"Colonel O'Neill and Captain Carter please join us," General Hammond said, gesturing at the empty chairs. "Supreme Commander Thor was just filling us in about the reason he is here."

"I owe you and your team a great debt of gratitude for saving my life."

"Psahw," Jack said dismissively, as if they hadn't risked their lives. "It was nothing. Unless, of course, you wanted to show your appreciation by letting us borrow that sweet ship of yours to cruise the neighborhood."

Thor's large eyes narrowed. "I believe we already discussed this previously, O'Neill. It is not possible."

He held up his hands and shrugged, "It was worth a try."

"Colonel, please," Hammond said in exasperation. "The Supreme Commander came to us for good reason."

"I have come by stargate because there are no ships to spare in my galaxy," Thor said. "My home world is being threatened by the Replicators. Thus far, all attempts to stop them have failed. I have come here to seek your help."

Jack appeared genuinely confused as he looked around the table, "Our help?"

"The Asgard have tried to stop them. You have demonstrated their weakness may be found from a less sophisticated approach. We are no longer capable of such thinking."

"Actually, the strategy was mostly Sam's."

Sam could feel heat creep up her neck when all eyes – including the large black ones belonging to Thor – turned to her. "Um, well, it was a team effort, really."

The Supreme Commander tilted his head in curiosity. "She is the female you have spoken to me about, O'Neill?"

Jack nodded, smiling at her. "Yeah, she's the one who fixed your Hammer on Cimmeria. Captain Samantha Carter."

"It is most fortunate you were able to return to Earth, Captain Carter," Thor said. "One of our scientists investigated the repair you made and while it was merely temporary and rather primitive by our standards, it was most impressive for a human. We did not expect your kind to be able to interact with technology of such level yet."

"Um, thanks," Sam stammered, "I think."

It looked like the Asgard gave her an approximation of a smile in return. "The Asgard High Council is optimistic that you may assist us in eradicating the Replicators from our home world with one of your more simplistic approaches."

Stunned, she simply sat there staring at the alien on the other side of the table. The Asgard expected her to help them get rid of an enemy they'd been fighting for decades? What possible contribution could she make when they were so much more advanced and were out of options?

"Well," Jack said, breaking the sudden silence, "I for one think that's a great idea. Not sure she's dumb enough for you, though."

"I think she can handle it, Colonel."

Jack found her hand under the table and gave it an encouraging squeeze, while turning to Thor and the General. "What does this plan of yours entail?"

Sam was nervous and quite frankly a little terrified at the idea and chanced a glance at the General, as Thor started explaining his plan. Jack's touch was reassuring but her heart was still racing. The base commander eyed her intently and she couldn't help but wonder if she radiated tension and it was clear for everyone to see how the proposal affected her.

When all eyes fell on her again she cleared her throat awkwardly and sought out General Hammond, her grip on Jack's fingers tightening. "I appreciate the confidence, Sir, but I don't know if I'm ready – I am still on light duty."

"So far the reports from Doctors Fraiser and MacKenzie have been encouraging, Captain. Perhaps a reevaluation is in order."

"Now?" Jack asked, adding a belated "Sir" when the General glared at him.

General Hammond leaned back in his chair, hands folded on the tabletop. "I know all of this was rather unexpected," he added with a kind look. "Why don't you take some time to think it through? We will reconvene in an hour."

"Thank you, Sir."

Jack leaned towards her, his dark gaze searching her face as his thumb caressed the back of her hand under the table. "You can say no," he said in a low tone, meant only for her ears. "You don't have to do this."

Sam flashed him a tiny smile, hoping her nerves weren't showing. Dimly, she heard the General's dismissal and automatically got to her feet, letting go of Jack's hand in the process.

"The Asgard would greatly appreciate your efforts, Captain Carter."

"I understand, Supreme Commander," she said, sending him apologetic look. "However, I've only recently returned home and have my daughter's needs and my own wellbeing to consider before rushing headfirst into a dangerous intergalactic war. That didn't work out so well last time."

Thor blinked his large eyes and nodded slightly. "Very well. I will await your decision."

She caught Jack's gaze before turning around to leave the briefing room, needing the privacy of her lab to think about Thor's request. Jack caught up with her at the elevator and after coming up to her side, bumped her shoulder with his. He didn't say anything but he didn't have to. Just having him there was a comfort.

They made their way over to her lab in silence and she closed the door when they got inside, pacing the small room. Jack plopped down on a stool. "Tell me what's going on in that big brain of yours, Sam."

"I don't know if I can do this," she said. "It's one thing to leave Ife with friends off-world to save you and taking her to the sitter to go to the SGC, but to leave her while I go to another _galaxy_? I need to think about what would happen to her if something went wrong or if I couldn't get back."

"But you want to go?"

She stopped in front of him, biting her lip. She was aware of his scrutiny but it didn't bother her in the slightest. No, his intense gaze grounded her. "I think… yeah, I think I want to. But-"

"Ack!" He got up and stood close enough for her to feel his breath on her cheek. "No buts. This is a great opportunity for you. The Asgard are very advanced and like Thor said, they'll owe us big time if you help them with their little bug problem. Plus, his ship is pretty sweet!"

"Jack…"

He smirked and reached out to caress her cheek. "Don't worry about Ife. I'm her dad, I can take care of her when you're off saving another galaxy. I've got this, Sam."

Her heart nearly burst at the look he gave her and she found herself nodding in agreement. "Okay," she breathed. There was so much she could learn from the Asgard and that simply trumped her nerves about going off-world – leaving the safety of Earth and Jack – again. "I'll do it."

"And you'll do great," Jack said with conviction.

The faith he had in her made her feel even more confident. She reached for the phone and called down to the General's office to let him know she was in, pending the outcome of the exam. The butterflies in her stomach – part nerves and part excitement – stayed with her throughout the medical exam and only intensified when she was cleared for the upcoming mission.

When they returned to the briefing room the General was still there with Thor. The Asgard barely showed any reaction, but according to Jack the 'little guy was thrilled'. With the base commander's permission she went to gear up and found him, Thor, Jack, Catherine and Daniel waiting for her in the gate room.

"I have faith in you, Samantha," Catherine said, squeezing her arm.

Daniel was smiling but kept his distance, "You can do this."

"Thank you," she said, trying to stealthily shift the heavy pack on her back to a more comfortable position. She'd forgotten how heavy they were. The technician in the control room had just activated the stargate and was counting down the locked chevrons when the blast doors opened again and Teal'c joined her.

Jack frowned at his friend's appearance. "What's with the gear, T?"

"I wish to accompany _Sām_ and Supreme Commander Thor on their mission." Teal'c's request to the General sounded more like a statement. "I am well equipped to defend their lives should we fall under attack of the Replicators while they are focusing on a technological solution."

Sam could tell from the look on his face that Jack had nothing to do with the Jaffa's sudden interest in watching her six and that reassured her. For a moment, she'd thought Jack was concerned about her abilities but she should have known better. Thor seemed intrigued by the whole situation, eliciting a smile from her. "If General Hammond and Supreme Commander Thor agree, then I would gladly accept your offer, Teal'c."

The General and Thor exchanged glances and when the grey alien inclined his head, Hammond sighed. "Very well."

"Well, T, you be careful," Jack said, clasping his shoulder. "And Thor, try not to get any life-threatening injuries this time."

"I will attempt to avoid any proximity to the Replicators, O'Neill."

He nodded, pleased. Then he turned to her. "Go kick their asses," he said, smirking a little. "See you on the flipside, Sam."

General Hammond cleared his throat a little, getting everyone's attention. "You have a go, people. Godspeed."

Thor looked up at her. "Are you prepared to take our leave, Captain Carter?"

As she stood there, tall and at attention, she became aware of how _right_ it felt. This was where she belonged; at the SGC helping to fight intergalactic wars in whichever way she could while serving her country. She looked to the two aliens at her sides and nodded, "I'm ready."

* * *

**O'Neill Residence**   
**Colorado Springs, CO**   
**January 17, 2000**

The trip to the grocery store had taken longer than Jack expected and he was starving by the time they got home. He kicked the front door closed behind him and walked into the house, Ife on one hip and a heavy bag of groceries on the other. On his way to the kitchen he glanced at the answering machine but there were no missed messages. Pushing away his concern for Sam – and Teal'c – he smiled at their daughter as he set her on the counter, next to the groceries. "Home sweet home, munchkin."

"More, Daddy," Ife said, her little hands reaching for the box of berries atop the other groceries.

Jack grabbed the box before she'd knock it over and opened it. Back in the grocery store's parking lot he'd given her some fruit to munch on after strapping her in her car seat. Mostly because it was way past lunch but it had also kept her busy while he used his cell phone to check in with the SGC for any news. They hadn't heard anything from Sam, Teal'c or the Asgard.

Ife whined a little, "Daddy."

Pulled from his thoughts about what was going on in the Ida galaxy, he caved and threw some berries in a nearby bowl. "There you go."

He kept a watchful eye on her as he started unpacking the remaining groceries, smirking when she got juice all over her face. The distraction was a welcome one, as he couldn't help worry about Sam. He trusted Thor and had every faith in Sam and Teal'c's abilities, but he'd seen those nasty bugs in action himself and knew they were unlike any enemy they'd encountered so far. If Thor's home planet used any of the advanced technology from his fancy ship then it would be like heaven to the Replicators.

"Done!"

"Good job." He set the empty bowl aside and grabbed a paper towel to wipe her sticky face clean, before he lifted her off the counter and put her down. "How about you help me clear this up, huh?"

Ife happily took some of the packaging he removed from the groceries and put it in the trash, going back and forth.

Jack had just handed her the paper bag to dispose of and moved to out some things away in the fridge when the doorbell rang. His heart skipped a beat in anticipation before he reminded himself that Sam would have called the moment she was back at the SGC and there was no need for her to ring the bell. "I wonder who that is." He turned from Ife to the general direction of the front door and raised his voice, "Door's open."

"Hello?" Daniel's voice called out as he entered the house.

Jack waited until he heard the door close and was watching Ife, who appeared rather wary and held on to his leg. "We're in the kitchen."

Daniel appeared in the doorway a few seconds later. He looked a bit pale and his posture was a reminder the archaeologist was still recovering from his appendectomy. "Hi, Jack."

"Did the little Napoleonic power monger release you from the infirmary?" He asked by way of greeting as he stroked Ife's hair absentmindedly.

"Um, yes, Janet said I was free to leave the base. I have a check-up at the end of the week."

He nodded in understanding. Daniel had been allowed to roam the SGC on occasion the past week but he'd been restricted to the infirmary and later his on-base quarters. "Good to see you're back on your feet. I don't suppose you've heard anything from Sam or Teal'c?"

Daniel took off his glasses to rub them clean and shook his head. "No, we haven't heard anything since they left yesterday. I'm sure they're fine."

"Yeah."

"So, um," he stammered a bit, eyes darting around, "I thought I'd drop by, see how you're doing."

Skeptical, Jack raised a brow. "Oh, well, you know. We're good."

Daniel's gaze fell on Ife and he smiled at her. "Hey there, Ife."

"This is Daniel, munchkin. He was at the Thanksgiving party with us a while ago," he said, gently nudging her to take a step forward. "Go on, say hi."

"Hi."

Daniel chuckled softly as she mumbled the word and immediately twisted back around to take comfort in Jack's presence. He came closer and leaned down to be at her level and tapped her shoulder. _"Chel hol, Ife. Mak Daniel. Shin tel?_ _Ȧ_ _u tini peki?"_

Ife first looked at him over her shoulder but when he started speaking, she forgot about her shyness and peered up at him. When he was done and waited for her response, she cautiously reached out and touched his chest, her brow furrowed. " _Tini ȧtem m ȧ… ḥerā m'ut_."

Hearing the alien language – albeit haltingly – from his daughter's lips made Jack uncomfortable but she grew up hearing it, so it wasn't a complete surprise that Ife spoke it.

"Oh, er, no." Daniel couldn't really hide his surprise, eyebrows nearly reaching his hairline. "No, I'm not like you and your mom." He paused, thinking. "I'm like your daddy. _Na, niss m tai'ten_ _ȧ_ _t_ ," he added, translating. Then, he looked up at Jack. "I think she's referring to the naquadah she and Sam both have."

"Right," he said, grimacing. "Sam told me they can sense each other. Cassie, Jaffa and Goa'uld, too."

Daniel moved to stand upright after a final smile at Ife and slipped his glasses back on. "Sha're and Skaara are the same."

Jack left it at that, the subject of the Abydonians and Shifu usually caused friction, at least in the context of them being formers hosts and Shifu's biological parentage. "So, why did you really come here?"

"I figured you could use some distraction now that Sam is off with Teal'c and Thor, and I could use a change of scenery," he replied, shrugging. "Besides, we're barely had a chance to catch up lately and I hadn't even officially met Ife."

"Yeah you did, at Fraiser's Thanksgiving dinner."

"But I didn't know Ife was your daughter back then. I had my suspicions about whatever was going on between you and Sam, but nothing like that."

"Ah."

"That's all I'm getting?"

Jack shrugged and gestured at the leftover groceries on the counter. "I was about to make lunch. You're welcome to stay and eat."

Rolling his eyes, Daniel sighed deeply and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Yeah, sure. I'll join you for a late lunch."

"Good!" He clapped his hands and rubbed them together gleefully. "I've got all the ingredients for my special omelet. Why don't you take Ife to the living room while I fix us some food."

"Um, sure."

Watching, Jack waited until Ife looked to in response to Daniel's outstretched hand. "It's okay, munchkin. Go with Daniel to the living room. Show him your toys. I'll be there in a bit. Go on."

After some encouraging words from Daniel Ife grabbed his hand and let him lead her out of the kitchen.

Jack returned his attention to the groceries and got started on the meal he'd promised. It didn't take him long to make two omelets – he knew from experience the fruit was enough for Ife – with beer and he took them into the living room along with a bottle of Guinness for them both.

"…removable clothing and movable limbs date back to at least 200 BC. For example, the Greek made dolls of clay and-"

"Daniel," Jack said in exasperation, interrupting the man's monologue. "Didn't we agree you'd admire her toys and not give her a history lesson?"

Daniel looked at him with a mixture of embarrassment and mild irritation. "Well, yes, but when Ife showed me the doll she was given off-world, I figured I'd explain… okay, I suppose I did get a little carried away. But she was listening intently, weren't you, Ife?"

Jack snorted and set the plates on the coffee table, glancing at his daughter. "She probably just tuned you out. Gets it from me."

"I suppose that's nature's way of balancing things," Daniel said, getting up from Ife's little play corner. "With the outside mostly Sam, there was bound to be lots of Jack on the inside."

"No need to sound so disappointed," he said, smirking.

The archaeologist took a seat on the sofa and reached for his plate. "Just worried the world isn't ready for another O'Neill."

Jack huffed in between bites before eyeing him critically. Daniel looked exhausted and it made him wonder whether he was doing as well as he claimed. "Not that I don't appreciate the visit, but shouldn't you be at home resting or something?"

"I'm fine."

"You got bored, didn't you? Fraiser kicked you out and you got bored, surprising considering the number of books and artefacts you have at your apartment."

Daniel shrugged, looking abashed. "I fed the fish, cleaned out the fridge and took a nap. I was hoping to work on some shelved projects but Janet made it clear that I was supposed to stay away from the base. There wasn't a lot to do at home."

He made a noncommittal sound and finished his lunch.

"What about you? I was half expecting to find you on base, waiting around for word from Sam and Teal'c."

"Ife had a doctor's appointment. It was scheduled a few weeks ago and postponing because of Sam would have meant another month of waiting for this guy. Some specialist Hammond had flown in on Fraiser's advice. They gave him limited clearance and he was just _fascinated_ with Ife."

Daniel had stopped eating, his hand frozen midair at the news. "What did he say?"

Jack made a dismissive gesture with his hand. "Oh, she's fine. Adjusting well. Physical development has improved greatly since coming to Earth but she's still a little bit behind. But she's healthy and her intellectual development is good too. She's just a little shy when it comes to strangers."

"Yeah, I noticed the shyness. But it's got to be reassuring she's catching up developmentally speaking."

He nodded in agreement but truth be known, he thought Ife was perfect just the way she was and there wasn't anything he'd change about her if he could. "Sam was a little worried because of what she went through while pregnant and the lifestyle they lived off-world but just look at her," he tipped his head in the direction of Ife, smiling. "She's perfect."

Daniel had a far away look in his eyes as he watched Ife play, "Yeah, I know what you mean."

"Shifu?"

"Um, yes," he said, almost startled by the question. Fiddling with his beer bottle, he chuckled softly and glanced at Jack. "Who would have thought we'd both become fathers, especially under such circumstances?"

Smirking, he raised his Guinness. "To our families."

Daniel clinked bottles with him and took a sip, grimacing at the taste. "Family, huh? So, does that mean you and Sam are together now?"

"Yeah, I suppose we are. I mean, we're still, you know," he made a vague hand gesture, "testing the waters and all that. But we decided to give it a shot."

"That's great," he said, nodding. "I think you're good for her."

Jack took another sip of beer and fidgeted, not sure how to respond. He didn't usually do the whole talking about his feelings thing, not even with a close friend like Daniel. Not that he wanted to hide his relationship with Sam, but he was even more guarded about it than usual considering what had happened. Hell, if he wanted to hide it he wouldn't have been so tactile with her at the SGC the past couple of weeks. Even Daniel, who usually had his nose in the books, couldn't have missed the undercurrent between him and Sam yesterday when she left with Thor.

Daniel cleared his throat, drawing his attention to the present. "I take it that means Sam and Ife won't be moving out, either?"

"No." The word rushed out and despite the talk he'd had with Sam, he felt his heart lurch at the idea. "They belong here."

"Oh, um, wow. I guess that's a bit more than just giving it a shot."

Jack rolled his eyes and sighed. "What do you want me to say, Daniel? That I'm all in? I am because Sam is pretty amazing but things like that don't happen overnight. She still has some stuff to deal with and I'm good with that, I can wait."

Daniel gave him a shrewd look. "You love her, don't you?"

"Yeah," he said slowly, "I do."

"Well, I guess that shouldn't surprise me, after everything you did to bring her back to Earth and then offering her your place to stay at."

He shrugged and took a sip of beer. He hadn't even told Sam yet, he realized. Too worried that it might scare her off. Of course, that was before she'd climbed onto his lap and they'd nearly gone all the way. She had made it perfectly clear to him that she wasn't as fragile as he thought and considering she was now off in another galaxy to help save the Asgard, he was inclined to believe her.

"I still can't believe you kept it all to yourself," Daniel murmured.

"You mean tracking down the Rogue NID?" He asked, momentarily confused by his remark. "You know why I didn't tell you about the undercover mission, right?"

He picked at the label of his beer bottle, nodding slowly. "You were under orders and bearing in mind that both Makepeace and Christina turned out to be part of the organization, it was the right decision. Sam's life, Earth's alliances and the existence of the SGC were all at risk."

Jack caught the flicker of hurt on his friend's face. "I never did really apologize about that day you came here, did I?"

"When you had 'retired'? No."

"Some of the things I said…"

Daniel waved them off, "It doesn't matter anymore. You played a part to get Maybourne to trust you."

"I shouldn't have dragged Sha're into it," he said. "You didn't deserve that."

"It was effective, though."

Surprised, Jack looked up. "Yeah, it was. But I know you love her."

Blowing out a deep breath, Daniel grew quiet for a moment and stared sightlessly at the other side of the living room. "It's hard, you know? I love Sha're and Shifu, but I don't know how to help her."

"She's still having trouble coping with the Amaunet and Apophis stuff?"

"Yeah, things have gotten better since we got Shifu back but she still has bad days."

It hadn't escaped Jack that his friend's trip to Abydos had become more frequent prior to his appendicitis, but up until now they hadn't really talked about it. "You're doing everything you can."

Daniel rubbed his chin and looked at him imploringly. "That's just it. I don't know if I am. But I have no idea what else to do!"

"The only advice I can give you is to be there for Sha're. Let her set the pace and take your cues from her and," Jack made a face, "talk to her. You know, be honest about things and all that other touchy-feely stuff you're good at."

Daniel smiled briefly before he sobered again, looking pensively. "I can't always be there for Sha're and Shifu. I don't know, maybe it's good for her to have some time apart from me when I go back to Earth, but at the same time I always feel like we have to start all over again when I visit."

"Look," he said, leaning forward, "if you feel you need to be there more or longer, then that's what you should do."

"What about SG-1?"

He shrugged, "What about it? You can't let the team hold you back from your family. Family is too important, Daniel. Trust me, you don't always get a second shot."

Daniel took off his glasses and scrubbed a hand over his face, before he spoke again. "But I can't just take more leave. We don't even have a fourth member yet and if I go, it's gonna be just you and Teal'c."

"So? I'm sure we can find ways to fill our time."

"I don't even know when Janet is going to clear me for missions," he said, scowling at his abdomen.

Jack looked at Daniel's right side in a guestimate of where the wound was – Daniel had refused to show him his scar shortly after the operation – but he couldn't even discern the slight bulging of a bandage under the man's sweater. However, seeing as how long Fraiser had kept him in the infirmary, he suspected Daniel wouldn't be going back to work for at least another week. Ï thought you wanted to spend more time on Abydos?"

"But we've already been off the mission roster for… what, two weeks? I don't think General Hammond will approve another one of my requests for leave so soon."

"I'll handle Hammond," Jack said. "You focus on your family."

He sighed and looked away, gaze landing on Ife. "The last time I was on Abydos I told Sha're I didn't want to leave yet. I was reading a story to Shifu when my watch's alarm went off, reminding me to start packing up for the trek to the gate."

The past couple of weeks Jack had been called away for missions and he'd hated being away from Sam and Ife, so he understood. Being beamed away to Thor's ship and his subsequent stay off-world had been especially hard. Daniel's concerns reminded him of how he'd berated himself for his priorities – both during his marriage to Sara and more recently, risking his life off-world – and he started wondering if perhaps it was time for him to make some changes as well. "You won't be getting those years back," he warned him.

"Sha're told me she worries about me when I'm gone," Daniel said, sighing. "But we also spoke of the importance of my work. We're so close to wiping out the System Lords now that Ra, Apophis, Hathor, and Klorel have been killed at the hands of the SGC. I don't know if I can give that up after what the Goa'uld put Sha're through."

"Maybe it's time to start looking at the bigger picture," Jack said cautiously. "When Teal'c and Sam get back I'll talk to the General. Perhaps we can work out who the remaining System Lords are, where they're located and how they operate and plan an attack together with the Rebel Jaffa."

He smiled and looked like some of the weight had fallen from his shoulders. "I'd like that."


	24. Chapter 24

**Stargate Command**   
**Colorado Springs, CO**   
**January 17, 2000**

"Preliminary readings indicate all the Replicators have been destroyed. However, it's possible they have simply shattered into smaller pieces, like when SG-1 and Major Ferretti engaged them with our weapons aboard Thor's ship. Those pieces are capable of reassembling themselves because each individual building block is capable of exerting a reactive modulating mono-polar energy field on other blocks, allowing them to assemble themselves into many forms." Sam said, recounting her mission with Thor.

She was still feeling the excitement and wonder from the experience and couldn't help but rattle on a bit. "Anyway, that's why Thor sent the two of us back alone. The Asgard are going to make sure the Replicators are gone for good and if not, they have to make sure to get all the individual blocks and keep them separated."

General Hammond was practically beaming. "Mission accomplished then, Captain."

"She kicked their asses," Jack said with a grin, before adding a belated "Sir".

"They had asses?"

Teal'c raised a brow at the remark. "They did not, Daniel Jackson."

Catherine chuckled and leaned over to Sam. "You must tell me everything you've learned about these Replicators – including their anatomy – and the Asgard from your time with Thor, Samantha."

"And she will, Doctor Langford. In due time," the General said. "I'm sure Doctor Jackson, as our cultural expert, will also benefit from this knowledge."

"It is most regretful the newest Asgard vessel had to be sacrificed for us to be successful," Teal'c said, glancing at Jack.

Jack in turn simply shrugged. "Hey, whatever works right? I mean, if the Asgard were all dead the Replicators would take over the ship anyway."

Thor had told her about the ship's capabilities and Sam couldn't help but feel a little sad over the waste of such potential. Jack was right, though. "I guess that's true, but the _O'Neill_ was supposed to be their last great hope. It looked very impressive."

"Indeed."

"Wait, it was _named_ after me? Cool!" Slowly, the grin on Jack's face faded as he looked at both her and Teal'c. "And you blew it up?"

Sam smirked at his predictable response and raised her hands in supplication, "Well, it was my stupid idea."

Daniel and Catherine chuckled and even the General looked amused, but Jack himself shrugged off the disappointment and instead looked at her warmly. "You did sort of save a whole galaxy and the Asgard totally owe us now, so I guess you're forgiven."

"The Supreme Commander expressed the Asgard's sincerest gratitude," Teal'c said.

"It's good for Earth to have advanced allies such as the Asgard," General Hammond said. "We can learn a lot from them in medical and technological areas like Captain Carter already proved with her newly acquired knowledge about energy particles previously unknown to us. And it certainly won't hurt to have the Asgard to call on in case we ever find ourselves under attack by the Goa'uld."

Sam figured this was the perfect moment to relay Thor's final message to her before he'd activated the stargate. "Actually, Sir, Thor promised us one even better. If it turns out the Ida galaxy is free of the Replicators he will request the Asgard High Council to help us in fighting the Goa'uld."

Daniel's face practically lit up as at the news and it wasn't hard to understand why. "Oh wow, that is more than we could have hoped for!"

"I'd say that's pretty good timing," Jack said, smirking. "Between Earth, the Asgard and the growing Jaffa Rebellion it shouldn't be too hard to take them on."

"It is promising," Teal'c acknowledged.

General Hammond nodded, looking immensely pleased. "It's very good news," he agreed. "And before we conclude the Captain's debriefing, I have three other matters I wish to share with everyone.

"This morning I was told Colonel O'Neill will receive a commendation for his undercover mission that resulted in the retrieval of Captain Carter, putting an end to the Rogue NID operation and repairing our alliances with our allies. Congratulations, Colonel."

"Thank you, Sir," Jack said, quirking a smile.

"And in related news, I have been informed that the surviving Rogue NID operatives have all been convicted of high treason for their actions."

Sam let out a breath she didn't know she'd been holding at the news and was surprised at her own reaction. She thought she'd left it all behind her with the death of Lieutenant Colonel Grieves but upon hearing his fellow traitors had been convicted she felt vindicated. Feeling Jack's eyes on her, she gave him a small smile to let him know she was okay. More than okay, actually.

General Hammond spoke up again, smiling broadly. "And last but not least, it is with great pleasure I can announce that Captain Samantha Carter will be promoted to the rank of major in recognition of her outstanding work and achievements over the past two years."

Sam was shocked to say the least. She had barely recovered from the rush of destroying the Replicators and now this! The General and Major Davis had mentioned the possibility of a promotion when she'd returned to Earth but after all the recent developments in her life she hadn't given it much thought. Dimly, she realized everyone was looking at her and congratulating her. "Um, wow, thank you, Sir. It's an unexpected surprise and I'm not sure what to say other than that I'm honored."

"You deserve it… Major Carter."

She couldn't fight a smile at the sound of her new rank and automatically turned to Jack to see his reaction. He was wearing a shit-eating grin that probably mirrored her own expression. "Yeah, congratulations, Major Carter."

* * *

**Stargate Command**   
**Colorado Springs, CO**   
**January 19, 2000**

It had been a long day and Jack was so ready to go home. Sam had worked an afternoon shift and they were supposed to leave together but so far he hadn't been able to locate her. Not in her lab, the locker room, the infirmary – thank god – or anywhere in the Science Department. She'd mentioned something about meeting up with Teal'c during lunch but they weren't at his quarters and according to the SFs topside, she hadn't signed out either.

So, he had decided to stop by one of the Jaffa's most frequented places on base to see if Teal'c had any idea where she was. The first thing Jack saw when he entered the gym was Sam from the back, hair tied in a messy ponytail and sticking to her long neck and wearing a tight formfitting tank top and stretchy gym pants that accentuated her toned body. Teal'c and Sam were the only ones present, so Jack walked in and leaned against the wall, watching them.

They were moving in sync, practicing the ancient form of Jaffa martial arts. Teal'c did it often but Jack had never seen Sam participate in it before and he found it rather fascinating. It looked pretty impressive, especially when they moved as one. She looked small next to the Jaffa. Teal'c was tall, big and muscled, whereas Sam appeared almost slight with her thin frame. Their movements were controlled but smooth, supple, and there was a grace to her he hadn't noticed before.

She was flushed and the sheen of sweat made her skin glisten in the bright lights of the gym. He was reminded of the way she'd come apart in his arms four days ago and desire coiled low in his belly as he took her in – her curves calling for his hands in a way that made them itch. He pushed his fists in his jeans pockets, encountering the little square foils he'd bought the night before. The condoms made his mind flash back to the night they spent together in DC, two and a half years ago.

At that moment, Sam looked up and smiled at him, her eyes shining with delight at seeing him. He felt his heart constrict and smiled back. She didn't falter though, taking one step to the side and twisting her upper body as she brought up her arms and made a smooth arc with her outside leg in a seamless flow of motion – in a perfect mirror image of Teal'c.

It was kind of beautiful to watch.

The two of them continued for a few more minutes until they turned to face each other, dipped their heads and murmured something in Goa'uld. They parted and Teal'c greeted Jack with a solemn "O'Neill" while Sam came up to him, smiling.

"Hi."

Jack reached up and brushed a lock of her blonde hair back, tucking it behind her ear. The back of his fingers caressed her flushed cheek, eliciting an even deeper smile from her with dimples showing. "Hey," he said, smirking. "Did you have a nice workout?"

"Indeed."

"Yes," she nodded, "I was doing a cardio workout when Teal'c asked me to join him in _Lok'nel_."

Teal'c gave them one of his rare smiles. "Master Bra'tac informed me _Sām_ was skilled in the art of _Lok'nel_. It has been quite some time since I practiced it with a novice as adept as she."

Sam practically beamed at the compliment. "Thank you, Teal'c."

"I merely speak the truth," he said, inclining his head. "I shall take my leave now. We will meet again tomorrow?"

"Yes, tomorrow evening."

"Very well. Have a most pleasant evening, O'Neill."

"Thanks, you too. Bye, T." He waited until Teal'c had left the gym before turning to Sam. She still looked good enough to eat and he had to remind himself that they were on base when he noticed her gaze drop to his lips. He wanted to kiss her, badly. But he was a big boy and he could wait until they got home. "Tomorrow evening, eh?"

After blowing out a deep breath, she brushed some errand strands of hair back. "Well, you mentioned something about wanting to watch a hockey game tomorrow, so when Teal'c invited me to _kelno'reem_ together I figured that was a good opportunity. Do you mind?"

Since returning to Earth she'd mentioned wanting to get to know Teal'c better a few times and if his support for her mission to the Ida Galaxy was anything to go on, Teal'c felt the same way. Jack wasn't surprised at all, she seemed to have that effect on Jaffa. "No, not at all. I'm glad you two are spending time together."

"And you're okay with watching Ife?"

"Of course."

She nodded, looking relieved. Then, as if noticing for the first time, she ran a hand down his sleeve. "You're already in your civvies."

Shrugging, he pointed in the general direction of the locker rooms. "Yup, I'm ready to go home."

"Me too. I just need to take a quick shower."

"Did you get to finish your science project?"

Sam had just started to move towards the locker rooms and turned back, frowning. "You mean my complete overhaul of the gate's diagnostic system?"

Right. "Um, yes?"

"It's going well."

"Good, good." She seemed amused more than anything, so he figured he was safe.

She waited until he pulled up next to her and bumped her shoulder with his. "Did you have a long day?"

"Yeah, lots of meetings and paperwork."

"I came looking for you earlier but Walter told me you and General Hammond were video conferencing with the Joint Chiefs of Staff."

He made a face, reminded of his numerous meetings and all their endless questions about their recent missions. "They wanted to know about Thor, his ship, your mission to the Ida Galaxy and the Asgard in general."

They'd reached the door to the women's locker room and stopped in front of it. "I'll be back in ten."

Jack took the time to find a landline to give a heads-up to the Dixons that they'd swing by in about twenty minutes to pick up their little girl. When he returned, Sam just exited the locker room, looking all bright-eyed and bushy-tailed. His hands were itching to touch her again but he only allowed himself to touch her elbow to guide her down the corridor.

"Did you catch up with your paperwork?" Sam asked as they waited for the elevator.

"Finished my mission reports," he said with a satisfied smirk. "And I also wrote a report about the Rebel Jaffa, after our little stay with Bra'tac and the others."

She stepped into the car, hit the button for level eleven where they'd switch elevators to get to the surface and waited for him to join her. "I'm still working on my report about my mission with Thor and Teal'c."

When the doors closed he couldn't resist reaching out to tangle their fingers together, feeling a little buzz of electricity run up his arm as their palms touched. "Yeah?"

"I learned a lot about the Replicators and physics in general. It's difficult to condense that knowledge in a report. There's so much we don't yet, Jack."

Her eyes sparkled and she was practically beaming with unbridled curiosity – he knew he had it bad when he felt it all the way down to his gut. There was just such… liveliness in her when she got excited about quarks or whatever. He listened attentively as she elaborated on what she'd learned and the theories she posited about reactive modulating monopolar energy fields and keron pathways, even if he didn't understand all of it.

She kept talking animatedly as the doors opened but let her hand slip from his, all too aware of protocol, probably more so as a female officer. They kept walking closely together and she only broke eye contact to greet passing personnel.

"Colonel O'Neill, Major Carter," one of the SFs at the checkpoint nodded. "Signing out?"

"Yeah." Jack took the clipboard to do so and saw the grin on Sam's face when the SF called her by her new rank. The promotion and his own commendation had taken place in the gate room the day before and he knew she was still getting used to it. He recalled his own pride and the natural high following a promotion from years ago and winked at her as he handed her the clipboard, "Major?"

She blushed and glanced down to sign out. "Thank you, Sir. Have a nice evening, Sergeant."

"You too, Sir, Ma'am," the SF said.

Jack couldn't suppress a grin at the little smile that still played around Sam's lips as they entered the elevator to the surface. She had every right to be proud of her accomplishments and considering what she'd managed to achieve after being betrayed by Grieves, she earned the promotion and a helluva lot more. Watching her from the corner of his eye made the desire to touch and kiss her return, making him shove his hands in his pockets as he searched for an innocent topic. "So, I called the Dixons to tell them we're on our way."

"I hope Ife didn't cause too much trouble," she mused aloud. Hammond had given Sam the day off after her promotion but she'd asked to come in regardless to work on the dialing computer with Catherine. They'd compromised on Sam working the afternoon which would give her the morning to spend with Ife, who'd been a bit clingy the past two days after their respective missions with Thor. "I know it was a change for her to have just one of us around, but she seemed to be back to her old self again when I dropped her off on my way to the base."

"She's gonna have to get used to it, especially if you're going back to active duty soon."

Sam sighed and waited for the car's doors to open before she replied. "Doctor Fraiser made an exception for the mission with Thor," she reminded him. "Apparently, I'm doing much better than when I first got back but she's not entirely satisfied yet."

Jack followed her into the corridor to go through security and gave her a slow onceover. She was wearing a warm coat, jeans and boots that didn't reveal much of her curves but he'd seen her in the gym and had his hands on her just a few days ago… He kept his thoughts to himself and greeted the two SFs at the post before going through the checkpoint.

Her hand found his when they exited the base and they walked across the parking lot in comfortable silence. "What do you want to do for dinner?"

"Takeout?" He suggested as they reached his truck.

After climbing into his truck, she unnzipped her coat and waited for him to get into the driver's seat. "I'm not sure Doctor Fraiser would approve…"

He turned to her and caressed her cheek, smirking as she started blushing. Then, he leaned in for a brief kiss. When he pulled back, he placed a hand on her flat stomach and raised a brow. "I doubt the Doc will mind. You gained some much needed weight after getting back, but you're looking pretty good to me right now."

"Is that so?"

"Oh yeah," he said, catching her eye.

Sam slipped her hand in his hair and pulled him in for a kiss. He could feel her smile into it and then her lips glided over his and he got caught up in it. She was all he could focus on. The way her lips moved against his, her soft breathing, her belly under his hand… He groaned when her tongue peeked out and opened his mouth to let it slip inside. She tasted like toothpaste and what he'd come to recognize as pure Sam.

He welcomed her tongue with his own while one of her hands gripped his shirt. Her nails scratched at his chest through his sweater and he couldn't suppress a growl. Settling his hand on her hip he yanked her closer until her breasts were pressed up against him and he delved deeper with his tongue, needing to taste more of her.

They continued making out like a couple of teenagers at their first drive-in until the need for oxygen forced them to pull apart. He chuckled softly as they rested their foreheads against each other while trying to calm their breathing. Sam smiled brilliantly at him and between her sparkling eyes, swollen lips and heaving chest Jack had a hard time focusing.

"Oh wow." Sam leaned back in her seat and giggled softly. "I can't even remember the last time I made out in someone's truck."

He dropped his hand to her leg and followed her example, breathing loudly in the cab. Just being around her was enough to get him aroused lately but kissing her was downright intoxicating and his body responded eagerly. He shifted in his seat to get comfortable. It didn't escape his attention how she squeezed her thighs together and it only fueled his desire.

She sighed and picked up his hand, running her fingers over it like it was some fascinating piece of alien technology. And damn if the touch didn't go straight to his groin.

His gaze alternated from her elegant fingers to her lips and he groaned when her tongue peeked out. "Sam-"

"God, I want you, Jack." She leveled her blue gaze on him when he just stared at her and smiled bashfully. "It's been so long…" Sighing, she released his hand. "I was thinking that maybe it's time Ife gets her own room."

"Um," he cleared his throat and tried again. "Yeah, maybe."

"But it's been a rough week for her too, with one of us gone for a couple of days."

He nodded, the same thought had occurred to him. The concern for their daughter overrode his desire to be with Sam. Ife was still adjusting to their lifestyle and she didn't know any better than sharing a bed with Sam – although she had been fine when he took Sam's place while she was off with Thor. "How about we wait to see how she's doing by the end of the week?"

Sam bit her lip and, after a moment of indecisiveness, sighed. "That might be best."

"Hey, there's no need to rush this. We have all the time in the world," he said, reaching for her hand and giving it a brief squeeze.

"I know," she said. "It's just… there's taking things slow and there's taking things _slow_."

Knowing she wanted him as much as he wanted her was strangely reassuring and at the same time a turn on. The feelings she elicited from him were as complex as Sam herself, apparently. "Don't worry about it. We'll get there, I promise."

She chuckled as he leered at her and gave his shoulder a playful shove. "Jack!"

"Hey," he said teasingly, "that's assault on a superior officer, Major."

Sam's face lit up at the reminder of her new rank and he couldn't help but return the smile that followed. She was the one who broke eye contact after a few seconds and checked her watch. "Oh! We should get going or we'll be late picking up Ife."

It took them twenty minutes to reach the Dixons and another fifteen to get home. During the ride they'd decided against takeout for Ife's sake because the poor kid couldn't handle all Earth food yet. Ife was also in a bit of a mood, going from happy to see them to protesting loudly against being strapped in her car seat. Jack took Ife out of the car and carried her inside while Sam went straight to the kitchen to get started on supper.

However, Ife ran off the moment he'd helped her take her leather socks off and Jack was left standing in the hallway with her little coat in his hands. "Ife?"

"Want Momma," she yelled before disappearing around the corner.

Jack couldn't say he blamed her and shrugged when he heard their voices coming from the kitchen, reassured that Ife was indeed with Sam. He started putting her things away and took off his own coat and shoes, before joining them.

Sam was standing near the counter where she'd laid out some veggies and Ife was in her arms, holding on tightly, while Sam spoke to her in soft tones. Jack's heart melted a little at the picture they made and he simply stood back for a while, watching them.

After a minute or two, Sam glanced over her shoulder and smiled at him. Unable to resist the almost magnetic pull the woman had on him, he walked over and lightly touched her back. When she leaned into it he stepped closer and wrapped his arms around her waist. "I see you've found the munchkin. She ran off. I think she likes you better."

"Daddy is being silly," Sam said as she brushed Ife's hair back.

Jack looked at Ife's little smiling face and sighed. "I don't blame you munchkin. I know you missed Mommy when she was gone," he said, pressing a kiss to Sam's temple. "But she had to help our friend Thor to save his galaxy from nasty little techno bugs. Mommy kicked their asses!"

Sam rolled her eyes but didn't pull away from him. "Jack-"

"What? It's all true," he said. "Mommy saved the Asgard's little grey butts."

"It was just a stupid idea that happened to work. It won't work a second time."

He tightened his grip on her a little and dropped his chin to her shoulder. "Don't listen to her Ife, Mommy's ideas are never stupid. They're pretty awesome, actually."

For a moment, it looked like Sam was going to protest but then she closed her mouth and just shook her head a little. "You're not supposed to tell her classified information, Jack."

Smirking, he pressed a quick kiss to her neck before straightening up and giving her a little push towards the stove. "Ife won't tell anyone, will you munchkin? Nope, it's our little secret. Now why don't you start on supper while I tell our daughter all about your awesomeness?"

"Secret," Ife parroted, giggling. "Awesome."

"See? She's got this down pat," he said, winking at Sam.

She made a noncommittal sound, clearly just humoring him, and started collecting the things she needed from the cupboards.

Jack grabbed Ife's little feet and squeezed them gently, making her giggle again. He smirked in response, before leaning closer and reaching for some of the veggies next to her. He picked up a baby carrot and zucchini, holding them up for Ife. "See, Thor came to us and asked for Mommy's help, because he knows how smart she is."

"Momma."

"Yeah, Momma's the smart one in this family," Jack said, wiggling the zucchini. He caught the look on Sam's face and raised his brow in a silent question before returning his attention to their daughter. "Anyway, as I was saying…"

He continued to tell the story about Sam's little adventure, using various veggies and utensils for illustrative purposes – and he winced when she took the eggplant he'd used for the _O'Neill_ and chopped it up – while Sam prepared their evening meal.

"… and that is why Mommy couldn't be here with us," he concluded. "She saved a whole galaxy."

"You do realize she's not old enough to understand all that, right?"

Jack ruffled Ife's hair and glanced at Sam, smirking. "You never know, she might have your brains."

Sam snorted, clearly not believing him. "Dinner is almost ready."


	25. Chapter 25

**Underground facility**   
**Nation state of Euronda**   
**January 25, 2000**

The sudden silence in the corridors of the underground base was a little unnerving. No, it was unnatural. The irony wasn't lost on Jack. He spent most of his time in the SGC, but at least the base was always bustling with activity. It was far too quiet in the Eurondan base with the defense shields at full strength, making the airspace above the facility impenetrable to the still unnamed enemy. Jack couldn't help but wonder at the number of Eurondans and their way to preserve – for lack of a better word – their older generations in stasis. He tried to push his unease away, something he'd been doing a lot the past couple of days. Still, he couldn't fault the Eurondans for their way of life.

He glanced at Alar walking next to him, the man's pleasure obvious. For some reason, it grated on him. There was just something about the Eurondan that didn't sit well with Jack. Well, if he was being honest with himself then there was simply something about the _Eurondans_. That Farrell wasn't any better than Alar, tricking him and Teal'c into killing enemy combatants with those aero-fighters. Not to mention the change in Alar's demeanor over Daniel's questions during the formalizing of the treaty…

"I understand you shot down an enemy bomber for us Colonel, congratulations," Alar said, smirking. "Perhaps you'll try your hand at it again?"

"I don't think so," he replied with narrowed eyes.

"Well, if you are concerned about lives lost, remember they are your enemy now. I look forward to your return. Which reminds me; perhaps it would be best if the Jaffa did not return."

Alar's tone made the hairs on the back of Jack's neck stand up and he turned to him slowly. "Teal'c… why? He hasn't said a word."

"It's not what he said. It's what he is," Alar said as they stopped at the DHD.

"Well, he's different, I'll grant you that."

Alar smiled and leaned in a little, as if they were sharing a secret. "Not… like us."

Jack stared at him, all the puzzle pieces finally falling into place. He clenched his fingers and swallowed against the bile rising in his throat. "Right."

"Shall we, Colonel?"

"Um," he cleared his throat and glanced over his shoulder at his approaching teammates. Thinking on his feet, he gestured for Alar to keep going. "Why don't you go on ahead? The war room, right? I'll catch up with you." He took a step closer and whispered, "That way I can talk to Teal'c and make sure he won't return along with the next batch of deuterium."

Alar nodded, his eyes crinkling with glee. "Very well. A wise decision, Colonel."

Jack watched the man walk down the corridor and shook his head. How the hell could he have missed it? Had Hammond's orders to exchange highly advanced technology to fight the Goa'uld blinded him? Perhaps it was his own desire for vengeance for what the Goa'uld had done to those he cared about – Sam, Skaara, Sha're and countless others in the galaxy. The sickening feeling that had accompanied him since seeing the people in the bomber he destroyed increased and he turned to his two teammates.

"Jack?" Daniel asked when he grabbed his arm as Daniel started dialing the coordinates for Earth.

"You're not going."

The archaeologist's eyebrows rose up in surprise. "Why?"

"Teal'c and I are going to have a look around first. You… ask questions."

"I thought you told me to-"

Jack sighed, his earlier frustration with Daniel returning quickly. "I know what I said, Daniel." He paused and weighed his next words. He hadn't been wrong per se, about the way he'd shut him up after the things Daniel did and said in front of the Eurondans. Undermining his authority was one thing but actively sabotaging a treaty – approved by the President and JCS – in front of potential allies while in said potential allies' territory was taking things too far. He couldn't deny Daniel had been on the money with his questions though… "It was rude, short-sighted and I'm sorry."

Daniel seemed a little perplexed by his apology. "Well, uh, thank you for recognizing that."

"Now I'm saying this: go ask questions. Lots of questions."

"I shall accompany him, O'Neill," Teal'c said.

Jack nodded in approval and watched them go. Sometimes, he wished Daniel was a little more military – four years was plenty of time to get used to it – but right now he could appreciate how the guy could be like a dog with a bone. Still, having someone with a military mindset back him up would have been good. But at the same time he wasn't sure there was anyone at the SGC who'd make a good fourth to SG-1 and he really didn't want to repeat the mistake that'd been made with Kershaw…

Shaking himself, he quickly made his way to the war room, intent on finding out as much as he could from Alar. The man was standing around the display table and Jack could see the plans of the facility when he joined him. He wasn't stupid by any means but he felt a headache coming on as Alar started talking about controlled fusion. At times like these it would be great to have a scientist like Catherine – or better yet, Sam – on the team. He sighed, immediately dismissing the thought, and turned his attention to Alar's explanation.

"…one single fusion reactor is capable of generating power to the entire facility. I assume you extract deuterium from seawater?"

"Yeah," Jack said, nodding. Sam had been put in charge of arranging the heavy water Earth-side by Hammond after SG-1 had relayed the Eurondans terms for a treaty. They hadn't had much time to discuss it when he got back from his first trip to Euronda but she'd done her best to explain the process to him in simple terms. "Seventy percent of the Earth's surface is ocean so heavy water extraction shouldn't be a problem."

Alar had a somewhat nostalgic look on his face before he pointed at the displayed plans, "Ah… The sea from which we used to extract our own heavy water as you call it, is now in enemy hands hundreds of miles away. You can see that the storage tanks are nearly empty."

Jack studied the plans, his suspicious nature rearing its ugly head as he took in the proportions of the base and the pipes leading up to the surface. "You guys must have been building this place long before the war started," he said slowly, cautiously.

"The war was inevitable."

"How long did your father expect your people to stay down here?"

Alar raised his brows and seemed a bit uncomfortable. "Until the air was free from poison… Excuse me."

The man walked away and Jack waited until he was gone to study the map a little closer. The more he saw, the more suspicious he became. There was no way he could prove his suspicions but he knew he had to talk to his team. Once again, he found himself wishing Sam was with him to tell him whether he was interpreting the plans correctly. Then again, if Daniel's accusations were true then he didn't want her there at all.

Thinking of how excited she'd get – that bright smile he loved and her sparkling blue eyes – at seeing the Eurondans' advanced technology and medicine made Jack realize something. With her brains and fair appearance, the Eurondans would welcome her with open arms, unlike Alar's attitude towards Teal'c.

It didn't take him long to find Teal'c and convince him to check out the stasis chambers. The Eurondans were all scrambling towards the war room or wherever as another attack had started, so he waited until they were the only ones in the corridor to broach the subject.

"So, what's your impression of Alar?"

Teal'c raised a brow, as if it was obvious. "That he is concealing something."

"Like what?"

"I am unsure," Teal'c said in that pragmatic way he had, "he is concealing it."

Jack couldn't argue with that and grabbed his zat to open the lock to the chamber. A password wasn't required to activate the computer display and within seconds he was browsing through the profiles of the people in stasis. Their pictures confirmed what he'd suspected earlier; like Sam, they all had fair hair, eyes and skin.

"What is it, O'Neill?"

"They're the same," he said, looking up at the Jaffa. "Every damn one of them is the same!"

Together, Jack and Teal'c went in search of Daniel and found him in the corridor leading to the war room. The archaeologist basically confirmed their findings with the answers he'd found. Perhaps the most worrying thing was that the Eurondans didn't mind sharing their xenophobic beliefs with outsiders and thought nothing of it.

"They did it," he said. "They started the war. I don't know how they did it but they did."

Jack took his team to the war room with them and pointed at the facility's plans that were still being displayed. "The Eurondans built this place long before the war started. They planned it from the beginning."

Daniel bobbed his head, already convinced. "Right! But how did they expect to win a war from underground?"

"See these enormous gas pipes? They run from the holding tanks underneath the facility right up to the surface-"

"And the surface is poisoned!"

Grimacing, Jack looked at his teammates. "They didn't just start a war, they were trying to exterminate them."

Alar came rushing towards them before either man could react and handed Jack a cylinder. "This storage cylinder contains plans, specifications and formulas on which our technology is based. Where is the fuel?"

"Oh, there's a delay," Jack said in a casual tone as he glanced down at the object in his hand, weighing it as if it didn't contain everything Earth might need to get rid of the Goa'uld.

"What sort of a delay? The enemy is attacking in force. We need that fuel!"

He waved his hand in a reassuring manner to Alar and handed his MP5 to Daniel, before taking off his pack. He strapped the cylinder to the back of his pack and let it rest at Daniel's feet. "We just have to buy a little time. Teal'c and I can help fight them off until it gets here."

Alar narrowed his eyes, either in dismay or suspicion but nodded anyway. "Do it!"

"Teal'c." Jack could see the disbelief written all over Daniel's face at his offer to help but the big guy remained impassive and got into one of the stations. "Stay on my wing, Teal'c."

"Most certainly," the Jaffa replied, glancing at him knowingly.

Jack got settled in his station and piloted his squadron of unmanned aero-fighters towards the unnamed enemy aircrafts. In the distance, he could hear Daniel arguing with Alar's second in command and Alar was yelling something about General Hammond, but Jack's attention was focused on the task at hand. Being back in the station brought back the sick feeling in his stomach from what happened before, but he was determined to get this done.

As soon as the enemy was in sight, he tilted his formation and locked on to the other Eurondan vessels. He left Teal'c's alone and shot down the squadron to his left. The ones on his right were downed by T just before he turned his vessel around to show the enemy where to strike, shooting down any Eurondan aero-fighters he encountered on the way back to the base.

"He's attacking our own bombers!"

"Stop him!"

Jack was dimly aware of what was happening outside his station but he trusted his team to watch his six as he escorted the bombers to the underground facility. His surroundings started shaking as the enemy attacked and he knew they were running out of time. Piloting his formation, he took a nosedive and crashed all the aero-fighters into the ground just above the facility.

He blew out a deep breath to steady himself, feeling a little better about helping the other side after shooting down their people earlier. After unhooking himself, he climbed out of the station and found Alar on his knees in front of Teal'c and Daniel pointing his weapon at Farrell. "Nice work, guys."

"You too," Daniel said, looking relieved at the outcome.

Teal'c smirked. "Indeed."

"Let's blow this popsicle stand," Jack said, taking his MP5 from Daniel and gesturing for Daniel to grab his sidearm just in case. When they were all armed again and he'd slung on his pack, they started backing out of the war room towards the corridor leading to the stargate. Jack was scanning the corridor while the guys kept an eye on the occupants in the war room.

"It could have all been yours!" Alar cried from his spot on the floor.

Jack turned to look back at him. "I wouldn't follow us if I were you."

The three of them turned towards the corridor just as debris started falling from the ceiling. Jack didn't have to order them to get a move on and they quickly made their way to the stargate. He could hear the Eurondans on their heels and gestured for Daniel to start dialing Earth while he and Teal'c watched his six.

As soon as he heard the kawoosh over the zat- and gunfire, he called for Teal'c and Daniel to "Go!" and started slowly walking backwards to the gate as he returned fire to the attacking Eurondan guards heading his way. The two men went down and he heard a loud explosion in the distance, so he moved closer to the stargate.

"Wait, wait!" Alar suddenly appeared, running desperately towards him. Jack trained his sight on him but didn't fire. "I could teach you everything I know! Just let me come with you! Please!"

Jack looked at him coldly, finally allowing himself to show his disgust with the Eurondans. Without a word, he reached behind himself to unstrap the cylinder with all the plans, specifications and formulas the Eurondans based their technology on. He held the cylinder in one hand, before tossing it at Alar's feet.

Turning around, he stepped through the event horizon and three hundred milliseconds later, he exited on the ramp at the SGC.

Teal'c and Daniel were standing facing him, armed, at the foot of the ramp flanking General Hammond and behind them a bunch of SFs were ready for any unwelcome visitors.

"Close the iris," he called, looking at his CO.

"Do it!" Hammond ordered, glancing up at the control room over his shoulder.

Jack dropped his hands from his weapon as he heard the iris slide shut behind him. The others were looking at him expectantly and all winced as one as a rather loud thud sounded. He looked up at the control room, expecting to find the technicians looking down at him but instead it was Sam who stood there, staring at him with wide eyes.

General Hammond was the one who broke the tense silence. "I take it, Colonel, that you were unable to procure any of the Eurondan technology."

"That's correct, Sir," he said, unable to break eye contact with Sam.

"I'm sorry to hear that."

At that, he snapped his gaze back to Hammond. "Don't be!"

The base commander narrowed his eyes at him and nodded sharply. "We'll debrief in one hour."

"Yes, Sir." Looking up, Jack realized Sam was gone. He knew he'd made the right choice – both in Euronda as well as on the ramp – but he had no idea what was going through her head. She had only seen him in action a few times, never when he had to make the hard decisions. All she knew was that he'd promised to bring her some shiny new toys in return for the heavy water she'd arranged for them. Only to witness him effectively killing someone. He had no idea how to interpret the look on her face as she registered the impact on the iris but it certainly hadn't been approval.

He wanted to go up to the control room and find out where she'd gone to explain himself. Unfortunately, he had a post-mission exam to undergo and shower before his debriefing. And aside from that, it was damn unprofessional for the base's second-in-command to go running after his girlfriend…

Taking a deep breath, Jack walked down the ramp.

* * *

**Stargate Command**   
**Colorado Springs, CO**

"… and you were promoted to major," Doctor MacKenzie said with a kind smile.

It had been a week and the mention of her promotion or new rank still made Sam grin. To think she'd contemplated not returning to active duty after returning to Earth. At the time she hadn't felt anything like an officer in the Air Force and had been prepared to throw away all her hard work by resigning her commission or requesting a medical discharge. All she'd needed was time, apparently. "Yeah, it still takes some getting used to."

"I believe it was well deserved, Sam."

"Thank you."

The psychiatrist waited a moment before he spoke again, watching her. "I heard you were present when the Eurondans made contact with us a few days ago."

She swallowed hard, thinking back to the unscheduled off-world activations. "There had been four attempts to contact us before we realized what was happening. Protocol dictates closing the iris and when we received their audio message, I checked the readings and noticed the prior impact events."

"Eurondans who'd been sent to Earth?"

"Yeah," she said, sighing, "three people died in the hopes of reaching us."

He gave her a moment to get her emotions under control. "It wasn't your fault, Sam."

Realistically she knew that to be the truth, but it was difficult to accept because of her sense of responsibility. "Jack told me it wasn't my fault and to move on, as well."

"Did that bother you?"

"It was easier said than done," she hedged. "He was doing his job and needed me to find a way for two-way communications with the Eurondans."

MacKenzie looked at her pensively. "That doesn't answer the question."

Shifting in her seat, Sam thought about it. General Hammond had ensured she wouldn't fall under Jack's chain of command because of their personal relationship but situations like the one in the control room that day were unavoidable – she had been present and was the most qualified to do what was needed to be done. Jack had touched her shoulder briefly when he told her it wasn't her fault and she knew that little gesture was more than he could have given her. "It wasn't what he said, how he said it or that he was the one that said it. The situation itself bothered me because I felt responsible."

"It wasn't something you could have prevented. The moment you found out what was happening, you found a way to stop others from risking their lives."

"It doesn't really matter anymore, now does it?"

The Doctor glanced up from his notepad. "Are you referring to the outcome of the mission?"

She took a deep breath at the memory and nodded. From Jack's demeanor as he stepped onto the ramp and his order she probably should have expected it, yet she'd still winced at the loud thud. "I was in the control room when SG-1 returned."

"You were involved in the treaty with the Eurondans, right?"

"I was put in charge of arranging the heavy water they required."

"Did that concern you?"

"Their need for heavy water?"

"Yes." He made a noncommittal noise and tapped his pen. "The whole mission took place over several days during which SG-1 returned to Earth a few times. Did you and Colonel O'Neill discuss the treaty?"

Between their different work schedules and the time difference with Euronda she and Jack had only seen each other once. He, as commander of SG-1, had consulted with her a few times over the radio but they only met once on base. The team had to go back and forth which meant going home hadn't really been an option. "We briefly spoke about the Eurondans in general and their advanced technology."

"Colonel O'Neill informed you about their technology?"

"He explained they used controlled fusion to fuel their defense field and the stasis chambers." She shrugged and decided to leave out the bit about Jack's frustrations with Daniel's incessant questions and undermining his authority. "Their level of technology is quite amazing when you compare it to Earth and take into account the war they've been fighting."

MacKenzie frowned and glanced down at his notepad. "General Hammond informed me SG-1 was unable to procure any Eurondan technology. Most unfortunate."

From Jack's reaction, Sam wasn't sure whether she agreed with the shrink or not. There hadn't been an opportunity to talk to Jack yet, though. "I don't know what happened."

"Euronda was under attack from their enemy when SG-1 left." He was watching her while explaining the debriefing Hammond had given him, as if gauging her reaction. "The Eurondan leaders lied to SG-1 about their involvement in the war and Colonel O'Neill retracted the agreement to the treaty. He supposedly warned them not to follow before stepping through the stargate."

"And ordered the iris closed once his team was through," she concluded.

"The Eurondan leader, Alar, ran after SG-1 regardless."

Jack's expression as he issued his order flashed through Sam's mind – he'd known Alar would follow him. "The impact event we registered."

The psychiatrist nodded, his perceptive gaze still on her. "Have you spoken to Colonel O'Neill about it?"

"His order? No," she shook her head. "I was called away and haven't seen him since."

"Doctor Jackson appeared to be rather upset with his decision."

Sam frowned, "Daniel is a civilian. He's not… military. What I mean is that he doesn't always understand the necessity of certain actions or decisions."

Cocking his head, MacKenzie looked at her curiously. "Did it affect you differently?"

"As the leader of SG-1, Jack has to make the tough calls," she hedged.

"That's true, but I was asking about how it affected _you_."

She weighed her words carefully when she replied, "I was… shocked, I guess. I wasn't expecting it but I wasn't there and can't judge the call he made. If the Eurondans were a danger-"

He interrupted her with a raised finger, "Their leader was the only one following SG-1."

"But their facility was exploding and we know that certain kinds of energy, like a blast wave, can be sent through an open wormhole."

"I suppose that's true," MacKenzie said pensively. "But what I really want to know, Sam, is how you felt about the decision Colonel O'Neill made. Just a few days ago you had a hard time accepting the loss of three Eurondans who'd impacted the iris, even though you weren't responsible for their deaths."

"That was different."

His eyebrows rose in surprise, "How so?"

Sam was aware of what he was doing and sighed, trying to decide how much she wanted to tell him. "The Eurondans from a few days ago had no idea what would happen, whereas Alar was warned. Jack gave the order to protect Earth."

"Your reasoning is sound but it doesn't tell me how you felt about the decision Colonel O'Neill made."

"Like I said, I was shocked… It wasn't what I was expecting when SG-1 returned. Up until then, there had been no indication that the Eurondans were a threat or that the team was coming in hot."

MacKenzie held her gaze, his dark eyes scrutinizing her. "Colonel O'Neill made a judgement call, a very difficult one. He could have chosen to let Alar come through and have him taken into custody. Yet he chose to close the iris. An action he knew would result in the death of the Eurondan leader."

Breaking away, she looked down and studied her hands. He was right. Jack had known full well what would happen and it was clear he didn't regret the decision to close the iris. It made her wonder about the true nature of the Eurondans because she knew Jack and he wouldn't make such a decision lightly. He was former black ops and had done some awful things in service of his country, but she trusted his judgment. "He did what needed to be done."

"Perhaps. It's not a choice everyone can make, though. In this case, Colonel O'Neill was judge, jury and executioner. Some might say it was a cold and calculated move."

"It's what he was trained for," she said. "He wouldn't be General Hammond's second in command otherwise."

The doctor nodded in acknowledgement. "Does it worry you that he's capable of such emotional detachment?"

Contrary to what he might say about himself, Sam knew Jack was a complex man. One thing she'd learned early on about him was that he cared deeply, though. A decision like the one he'd made earlier that day would weigh heavily on him, even if he didn't show it. It was his job to make the tough calls and he masked his emotions while doing it, but deep down he was still Jack and it was bound to affect him.

She realized what MacKenzie was really asking and shook her head, "Jack's not like the Goa'uld. He has a conscience and does what he thinks is best for others, even if it's detrimental to himself. If anything, I admire him for it."

"Why is that?"

"Because," she said after a moment, "I've been there."

"Before you returned to Earth?"

Sam glanced down and nodded slowly, thinking back to some of the situations she'd found herself in. During her time with the Goa'uld she'd been forced to make tough calls, prioritizing her unborn child's life above everything else. Some of the things she'd endured she wouldn't wish on anyone and yet there had been occasions she'd chosen her own wellbeing above that of someone else. Even after she'd escaped the Goa'uld there had been situations in which she made choices she wasn't proud of.

Some of those decisions still weighed heavily on her – there was a reason for her recurring nightmares – and she'd never quite managed the level of conviction she'd seen on Jack's face. He knew what needed to be done and wasn't afraid of doing it despite the repercussions.

Thinking back to the look he'd given her from the ramp, Sam realized he had no idea how she had interpreted his actions. If their roles had been reversed, she would be terrified of what he thought of her and her actions. His debriefing was probably already over with, so she got up and spared MacKenzie an apologetic look. "I'm sorry, I've got to go."

She had to see him, and it needed to be now.


	26. Chapter 26

**O'Neill Residence**    
 **Colorado Springs, CO**    
 **January 25, 2000**  

It was dark by the time Jack came home. Past Ife’s bedtime and probably a hell of a lot later than Sam had expected. Sure, he’d called and left a message on the answering machine that he’d be home late but with no indication of when. He felt a bit of guilt over leaving her in uncertainty and not being there for Ife, but he’d been brooding all day and knew he wasn’t good company. 

To his surprise, he nearly bumped into Sam carrying Ife in the hallway. “Oh, hey.” 

“You’re home late,” Sam said, frowning. “I was starting to get worried.” 

“Debriefing took forever and the brass wanted an explanation from Hammond and me via video conference.” 

She shifted a dozing Ife in her arms. “I didn’t think it would take all day.” 

He reached out to brush a lock of Ife’s hair behind her ear, the sight of their daughter making him feel worse. Glancing away from her, he looked at Sam and sighed. “The guys were upset from what happened on Euronda. Daniel doesn’t understand and, well, you know how he gets.” 

“Well, there’s dinner in the fridge if you want it.” 

He winced at her dismissive tone and reached out to touch her arm. “I thought the munchkin would be in bed already.” 

There was a look in Sam’s eyes he couldn’t quite place when she answered, “She wanted to see you and I figured it wouldn’t take you all evening to get home so I let her stay up until she crashed.” 

“Shit,” he said, running a hand though his hair. The guilt increased. He’d wanted to see Ife too – it had been days since he’d seen her last – but he felt his foul mood would only make things worse. “I’m sorry, Sam.” 

“I know you had a bad day, Jack,” she said, sighing. “We can talk after I’ve put her to bed.” 

Grimacing, he nodded. He wasn’t sure he wanted to talk. Or, at least, he didn’t want to know how she really felt about the decision he’d made on the ramp earlier that day. Talking was probably inevitable but he would have preferred staving it off for a little longer. Maybe have one more day to pretend things were good between them. That he wasn’t some sadistic bastard who closed the iris on a man fleeing for his life. 

He took off his coat before wandering into the rest of the house. The living room looked cozy with the low lighting and the fireplace. He turned to the kitchen, not feeling like he had a right to disturb the inviting atmosphere Sam had created. The kitchen was a mess and that he could work with – he started clearing up the pots and pans she’d used for dinner. Once the counter was cleared and spotless, he grabbed a Guinness from the fridge and made his way out back.  

Before he realized what he was doing he’d climbed up to the platform and took a seat. The wood of the old chair was cold but he hadn’t thought to grab a blanket. Suppressing a shiver he took a sip of beer and rested his feet on the railing. There were plenty of stars visible and he settled in to do some stargazing with the naked eye, hoping it would have the usual calming effect on him. 

That was where Sam found him a little while later. She tossed him a throw blanket and leaned against the railing, watching him. “That’s the second time today I had to come looking for you.” 

“You found me this time,” Jack said gruffly. At her pointed look at his feet, he reluctantly dropped them to the floor and watched as she moved to stand opposite him. He draped the blanket over his legs, ignoring her on purpose. Maybe if she got cold, she’d leave him alone with his dark thoughts. 

“You’ve been avoiding me.”  

It was a statement rather than a question so he didn’t reply, simply glanced up at her. Her blonde hair was a sharp contrast with the dark night’s sky and he briefly wondered what her body would look like bathed in moonlight before pushing that errant thought into another dark corner of his mind. 

She leaned a little to the left and stretched out her arm to turn on the small lantern in the corner, adding some artificial illumination to the platform. He could see her face now but the look in her eyes was still unreadable. Straightening up, she crossed her arms and tilted her head a little. “So, was that your plan? Avoid me and Ife to brood out here in the darkness?” 

“You were there,” he said, deciding to bite the bullet. “So, you can imagine I’m not good company right now.” 

“I know what happened.” 

Her soft tone surprised him. She sounded almost… sympathetic. He took a swig of beer and wished he could get a better look at her eyes. “You were there in the gate room but you don’t-”  

Sam interrupted him, “You closed the iris on that Eurondan leader, knowing he’d follow you.” 

“Guess the rumor mill has been working overtime.” 

“MacKenzie told me.” 

Jack made a face at the man’s name and plucked at the beer’s label. He’d forgotten about her session and the thought of the two of them discussing his reprehensible actions didn’t sit right with him. God only knew how the shrink felt about what he’d done. “Of course he did.” 

She sighed and waited until he looked up at her before she spoke, “Jack… just talk to me.” 

“What do you want me to say, Sam? That I’m sorry Alar died? I’m not – he got what he deserved.” 

“I know-” 

“You don’t know,” he argued, scowling at her. “They played us. Those xenophobic racist bastards lied to us! They started the war on their planet. Do you know how? By building an underground base with pipes leading up to the surface to poison the atmosphere – and they had the audacity to complain that their enemy hadn’t been exterminated yet by their attempted genocide!” 

She slipped her hand in his hair and tugged gently until he looked at her, the intimate gesture a calming influence on him. “That’s awful, Jack.” 

He nodded in agreement, the understanding expression on her face reassuring him somewhat. Still tense, he took a swig of beer and set the bottle down on the armrest. He caught her hand where it ruffled his hair and locked onto her blue eyes, holding her gaze.  

Then, he cleared his throat and started telling her about what happened on the planet. “He pleaded with me. Alar. Begging me to let him come to Earth and in return he’d teach us everything he knew.” It wasn’t like him at all but he wanted, no _needed_ , to make her understand why he’d closed the iris to Alar. She had to know he wasn’t some deranged bastard who took satisfaction in ensuring people he disagreed with died. “I couldn’t risk it.” 

"You knew he'd follow you." 

“Yeah,” he said. “You know what would happen if he came here. Everyone would want a piece of him and he’d manage to get himself a good deal for his knowledge. After what happened to you with the Rogue NID…” 

She gave his hand an encouraging squeeze. “There’s plenty of bad guys here already. We can do without the Eurondans starting WWIII.” 

Pure relief washed over him at her response yet he couldn’t help but remember the wide-eyed look on her face back earlier that day. “I made a judgement call on the ramp and I don’t regret it, but I don’t expect you to understand.” 

“Alar was a threat.” She grabbed his beer with her free hand and sipped it slowly, before setting it aside. Her jaw was set when she spoke again, unflinching. “You did what you had to do.” 

“Sam, I don’t want you to think-” 

She shushed him with her fingers on his lips. “I fully support your decision.”  

The change in her demeanor and complete understanding threw him. The feelings her touch elicited in him weren’t helping either. He grabbed hold of her hand and got to his feet, the blanket on his lap falling to the floor. They were practically standing toe to toe and he knew he was crowding her a little, but she didn’t flinch or cower and simply tipped her chin up to look him in the eye.  

Knowing she wasn’t intimidated or, worse, scared of him despite his actions on the ramp made him feel like the man she deserved even if he was sometimes a man who had to do bad things. He lifted his hand to caress her cheek, “You don’t have to. You know that, right? You’re allowed to feel conflicted about it, I saw how hard you took the deaths of those first three Eurondans.” 

“I know.” The serious look on her face made way for a little smirk, “But I’ve got your six, Jack.” 

“Just like that?” 

She leaned into his caress and the small gesture of trust made him feel grateful for her and a little proud of the progress she’d made in the past couple of months. Smiling, she slid her hands in his hair and pulled him a bit closer. “I know you’ve done a lot of things you’re not proud of,” she said in a low tone. “But you don’t enjoy inflicting harm on others. I trust you.” 

The realization that she knew about his dark past, understood his actions and accepted him so easily was a heady one. She wasn’t the first woman who’d claimed to know and trust him but from the way she was looking at him, he knew Sam was the only one who truly saw all of him – and she still welcomed him in her arms. “They gave us a storage device with all the specs and formulas their technology is based on,” he blurted out.  

“But you told the General-” 

“I threw it back at Alar before I left,” Jack said, interrupting her. “I just… you didn’t see the Eurondans, their stasis pods or the vegetative state their pilot was in. That tech could be damning in the wrong hands-” 

“I know.” She glanced away for a bit, shaking her head. “There’s a reason I’ve kept my ability to control certain Goa’uld tech from my reports.” 

Jack nodded when her gaze found his again. Of course she would understand – aside from him, she hadn’t told anyone about the extent of her abilities or the Goa’uld knowledge she retained from Herit. Up until now he hadn’t seen the similarities. “Yeah.” 

There was a faraway look in her eyes and she frowned a little when she spoke again, “I’ve done certain things while I pretended to be Herit and chose not to act at times-” 

“Sam-” 

“They were decisions I never thought I’d have to make and they cost me, but they kept Ife and me alive.” 

They had spent many evenings together just talking about her time with the Goa’uld and while he was aware she had probably kept a few things to herself, he also knew a lot of the dark and twisted stuff she lived through. She was different from the woman he spent the night with in DC, she was stronger – both mentally and physically – and a bit sharper around the edges. A little darker. He reached out to push a lock of hair behind her ear, trying to convey his understanding through his eyes. “You made those choices so you could come home.” 

She moved her fingers through his hair, a small smile on her face. “That didn’t make it any easier. Some of them still haunt me and occasionally I find myself second-guessing my actions back then, wondering what would have happened-” 

“Hindsight is 20/20.” 

“That doesn’t mean what I did back then was right. I wish I had your conviction and could say I didn’t regret some of the things I did.” 

He huffed at the praise, “I’ve made a hell of a lot of mistakes and sometimes others ended up paying the price.” 

“Not in this case. We don’t need the Eurondan technology. Not at that price. We have the Asgard and other allies, and so far we’ve managed to hold our own. You made the right choice,” she added in a soft voice. “You’re a good man, Jack.” 

“Sam…” He sighed as her fingertips caressed his ears, a warmth spreading through him at the touch. 

“I know you’d do anything to protect those you care about,” she whispered, biting her lip. “And sometimes that means sacrificing a piece of what makes you you. The fact that you have a conscience is what distinguishes you from people like the Eurondans or the Goa’uld.” 

He could see her trust and conviction in those big blue eyes of hers and for a moment he wondered what he’d do if she ever stopped looking at him like that. “What happens when there’s nothing left to sacrifice?” 

“I love you, Jack,” she said, “and I’d never let that happen.” 

His heart skipped a beat or two at her words and then he pulled her flush against him, kissing her almost hungrily. She responded immediately, her lips moving against his as a soft moan sounded from the back of her throat. He poured all of his feelings for her into it, eager to accept her love and show her how much she meant to him. One of his hands found its way into her hair, keeping her in place as he thrust his tongue into her mouth and the other was low on her back as he pressed his hips against her.  

Sam kissed him back fervently, pulling him impossibly closer as she sucked on his tongue and slid a hand under his shirt to dig her nails into his back. He was already half hard and ground himself into her, dimly realizing she was pressed up against the railing. The taste of her was intoxicating and the way she reacted to him made him feel a bit invincible in the wake of the cracks he was feeling after the run in with Alar.  

“Jack,” she murmured between kisses, pulling back a little. 

He followed her blindly, recapturing her lips and exploring her mouth with his tongue while his hand roamed her back. It took him a moment to realize she was pushing against his chest and reluctantly pulled away. “Sam?” 

She smiled up at him and played with the hair at the nape of his neck. “I need to breathe.” 

“Ah.” Her breathlessness made him smirk a little, although he was a bit surprised at how quickly they’d spun out of control. He was still pressed up to her intimately but for the first time he didn’t feel like pulling away to put some space between them – and from the way she was rubbing herself lightly against his erection she didn’t mind.  

When she licked her lips his gaze was drawn to her mouth and he felt the urge to kiss her again, but from the rise and fall of her chest he knew she was still trying to catch her breath. Needing to taste her again, he brushed her hair aside and started kissing his way down her neck. Her skin was warm and he could feel her racing pulse as his tongue darted out.  

A shudder ran through her when he hummed against her neck and in response, Sam slid her fingers in his hair and wrapped her other arm around his waist. She pulled him against her body until they were touching head to chest. Tilting her head backwards she gave him a bit more space and simultaneously pushed her breasts more fully against him. 

Jack growled at the feeling of her hard nipples through his sweater and circled his hips, trying to alleviate some of the pressure. His self-control was hanging on by a thread but when he took a deep breath to regain some control his nostrils simply filled with her scent.  

“I love you.” Sam pressed a kiss to his temple after her whispered confession and started nuzzling his hair. 

He pulled away from her tempting neck and was nearly floored by the emotions on her face when they locked gazes. Up until now, he hadn’t realized how much of her feelings and thoughts she’d kept hidden from him, in a manner not dissimilar to his own. “God, Sam-” 

“Let’s go,” she said, pressing her fingers to his lips.  

“Go?” Jack asked after clearing his throat. He was pretty sure he wasn’t in any state to climb down the platform and if she was simply calling it a night then he’d be better staying for a little while before he did something he’d regret later.  

She giggled and gently pushed him back to slip away from between his body and the railing. “Jack?” 

He wiped a hand over his mouth and tried to keep his facial expression as neutral as possible as he replied, “Yeah?” 

“Bedroom?”  

“What about Ife?’ 

Sam looked up at him from her lashes, a smile on her face. “Remember how we discussed it was time for her to get her own bedroom? I sort of got started on that when you were on your mission.” 

Jack smirked, appreciating her ingenuity. “Yeah? How’s that working out?” 

“So far so good,” she said, before walking over to the ladder. “You coming?” 

He ignored the painful pressure on his erection to climb down as fast as humanly possible and followed her into the house. She threw him a beaming smile over her shoulder just before he managed to snag her hand. Using her momentum as she twirled, he had her pushed up against the wall near the bedroom door. Her arms wrapped around his shoulders and he placed his around her waist, settling his hands on her ass. She smiled into the kiss, her mouth opening almost immediately for him and her tongue welcomed him as he ground his hips against her. 

And before he realized it, she’d opened the door and pulled him into the bedroom with her, without breaking apart. They stumbled a little as they kicked off their shoes, coming to a stop near the bed. Her soft lips on his were distracting though. They were wet and glided across his own while their tongues tangled together, dueling for dominance. Hands were suddenly under his shirt and he growled as nails dug in his back. 

He fisted one hand in her hair, holding her in place for his assault on her mouth. His other hand found its way back to her shapely rear as he ground his hips against hers. Their kisses grew more passionate and then her hands were all over him, tugging on his sweater. They broke apart breathlessly and Sam pulled his shirt over his head, before yanking him back to push her tongue into his mouth. 

Any hesitation he might have felt disappeared as soon as her hands found their way to the waistband of his jeans. He groaned her name when she ran her fingers over the straining fabric and felt her smile into the kiss in response. 

Sam pulled away, licking her lips, and took a step back. Smiling wickedly, she gave him a thorough onceover that made his blood rush south. Then, she started undressing herself slowly. There wasn’t a trace of insecurity, doubt or shyness on her face as she discarded her sweater and top, leaving her standing there in her jeans and bra. 

Jack’s hungry eyes took in every inch of pale skin, lingering on her full breasts. She was gorgeous. A little thinner and more toned than he recalled but with curves in all the right places and his hands were itching to touch her. He licked his lips when she started undoing her jeans and after catching the silent question in her eyes, he copied her. Popping the button had him groaning in relief but it was short-lived when he caught sight of Sam’s bare legs. 

“Don’t stop now,” she said in a hoarse tone. 

He couldn’t help it and simply stood there, staring at her as she bent over to pull the jeans off those long legs and remove her socks. The moment was broken when she straightened up and leveled an expectant gaze on his opened jeans, one eyebrow raised. Grinning, Jack pushed his jeans down his legs and hooked his thumbs in the waistband of his boxer briefs. 

Sam bridged the distance between them in a second, running her fingers down his chest in a teasing manner. “Let me,” she murmured, when her hands encountered the fabric. 

Swallowing hard, he held up his hands in surrender and watched her face as she started tugging the underwear down his legs. His mouth turned dry when she was practically kneeling in front of him and he felt himself harden even further when looked up at him from under her lashes, a seductive smile on her face.  

“Sam…” He took a deep breath when she licked her lips and leaned in, bending down to let her lips brush his scarred knee in a feather light touch. Her tongue peeked out and he balled his fists in an attempt to control himself, his erection straining. A sigh escaped him after she moved to his other knee to repeat the caress, nails digging into his palms. Then, she started kissing and licking her way up his leg, her hands trailing up to his hips. He grabbed the back of her head as she nuzzled her way to his groin, a strangled moan torn from the back of his throat when she pressed her soft lips against the base of his erection. His hips bucked when she lapped at him unexpectedly, his cock jerking at the wet touch. 

All too soon she moved away, running her tongue along the crease where thigh met hip before she rose graciously. She trailed her nails up his chest, the fiery sensations feeding his desire. He grabbed her by the waist and pulled her flush against his body, his erection trapped between their bellies. “You’re gonna drive me crazy,” he muttered, before slanting his mouth over hers. 

“Jack,” Sam whispered his name between kisses, their lips gliding wetly against each other. She wrapped her arms around his neck and rubbed herself against him, the friction of her underwear and skin on his sensitive flesh pushing the boundaries of his self-restraint.  

He was getting lost in the taste and feel of her, his mind focused solely on her and his need to bury himself inside of her. His hands explored her smooth back, the skin warm under his calloused palms and his hips moved restlessly. Sam moved her hands to his shoulders and he was dimly aware of her guiding him somewhere, but he still startled when the back of his legs bumped against the mattress. 

“Get on the bed,” she said, gently pushing at his chest. 

Jack did as he was told and obediently settled on the covers, watching her with bated breath. Under normal circumstances he was usually the one taking the lead but he wasn’t going to push her and to his surprise actually got a little thrill out of her being in control. His whole body tensed in anticipation when Sam followed and straddled him. His gaze was drawn to her full breasts and he was tempted to rip her bra off but instead lets his hands rest on her hips, thumbs caressing the smooth and toned skin of her abdomen.  

A shudder ran down his spine when she slid her hands in his hair, caressing the top of his ears with the fingertips. “We’ve waited so long for this,” she whispered, as she leaned in and started kissing her way down his jaw. 

He took a deep breath, unable to form a reply. The feelings her touches and nearness elicited were testing his self-restraint. His eyes fluttered closed when she continued to kiss a path down his neck, her tongue licking and tasting along the way. This near, Jack swore he could smell her and her scent went straight to his head. His cock jerked when she leaned closer, her breasts brushing his chest.  

Opening his eyes again, he drank in the sight of her. The pale column of her neck was too inviting to ignore. His mouth landed wetly on the soft skin and her teeth scraped his throat as she gasped in surprise. He worked his way down while his hands started roaming her back, sucking at her pulse point before moving on to lick the outline of her collarbone and fingering the waistband of her panties. 

He bucked when Sam tongued his ear and as a result his erection brushed her inner thigh. A jolt of pleasure went all the way to his balls at the contact. “God,” he groaned, voice muffled against her shoulder. She wiggled a little, making him grit his teeth as the sensitive head of his cock rubbed against her skin, covering it in pre-cum. 

“Jack, touch me,” she whispered, her breath ruffling his hair, and moved restlessly. “I’m so wet already.” 

His hands stilled and he leaned back a little to look her in the eye, all too aware of his own pulsing need and their loud breathing in the otherwise silent bedroom. The blue of her eyes was barely visible with her dilated pupils and desire was written all over her face. He reached up to brush his thumb over her swollen lips, while his other hand traveled to the front of her panties. Slowly, he trailed his fingers down, smirking when he brushed over her clit. She bucked and threw her head back at the touch, a soft moan escaping her lips.  

The fabric of the crotch was soaked, his cock jerking at the discovery. He started rubbing her and it didn’t take her long to circle her hips in sync with his caresses. Leaning forward, he pressed his lips against her throat and started kissing a path all the way to the swell of her breast. God, the skin was so soft yet firm. He nuzzled the outline of her bra, pushing the cup down to reveal more of her pale skin.  

Panting, Sam grabbed his head and pressed her chest forward. “God, don’t stop. More, please.” 

Jack kept up his ministrations while his free hand cupped her other breast, kneading it through her bra. Using his thumb, he circled her hard nipple, smirking against her breast when the little bud grew even harder.  

Moaning, she shifted and started moving lower, towards his lap. Her blue gaze caught his when she reached for his cock, her palm warm and strong as she took him in her hand. She didn’t look away as she started sliding up and down slowly, a satisfied little smirk playing around her lips. 

The sensations she evoked threatened to get him off already and he gritted his teeth, trying to hang on. It had been so long since he’d had sex and the way she was stroking him was bringing him closer to the edge. She was growing wetter by the second as well, his fingers already coated in her juices through her soaked panties. Dimly, he realized they were going to need protection soon… “Sam-” 

She slowed her hand movements a little but kept up her almost desperate grinding against his fingers as she indicated the nightstand with a tip of her chin. “Condoms. Top drawer.” 

“Right.” Reluctantly, he withdrew from her to lie back on the bed and reach the drawer. He felt her settle her weight on him as he grabbed a handful of condoms. Just as he returned his attention to her she started circling his slit with her fingertip and his eyes threatened to roll to the back of his head. “Oh, fuck. I’m not gonna last long if you keep that up,” he hissed. 

She released him, trying to look chastised but the little grin on her face told him a different story. A second later she reached behind her back and unclasped her bra. 

Jack groaned when she threw the undergarment to the side and immediately reached up to cup her breasts in his hands. They were full and firm and oh so pale compared to his hands. His mouth watered at the sight but she pressed down on his chest to keep him on the mattress. He barely had time to respond before she shifted and shimmied and miraculously managed to pull her panties off, only for them to join her bra. 

He had to abandon her breasts to roll on a condom but as soon as he was done, his hands were back – and so was Sam’s hand. “Sam-” 

“I can’t wait any longer,” she said, lifting up and guiding his cock to her opening. 

She was like liquid heat all around him and he couldn’t help but thrust up, burying himself deeper inside of her. He growled at the sensations, so warm, so wet, so slick…  

“Jack,” she moaned his name, eyes closed and biting her lip. “Feels so good.” 

Wordlessly agreeing, he pulled out a little and settled one hand on her hip before he thrust back. God, so good. He let her set the pace as she started rocking on him, watching her as she rode him and feeling the tension at the base of his spine increase. 

Sam started moving faster, her breasts bouncing and she steadied herself with a hand on his chest. “Don’t hold back,” she said, as she dipped her other hand between their bodies to stroke herself. 

He felt her inner muscles contract as she rubbed her clit and he groaned, trying to keep his climax at bay so she could come first. Rolling her sensitive nipple between his fingers, he started thrusting up harder.  

It didn’t take her long to get herself off as she slid up and down his cock. She came with a wordless cry, her hips faltering as her orgasm ripped through her. 

“Hang on,” he murmured, before he rolled them both over, settling himself above her. She gasped at the change in position, eyes wide as she looked at him. Leaning in, he caught her lips with his own, moaning into the kiss as he felt the after tremors of her orgasm ripple around him. Slowly, he started moving again, sliding in and out of her in an ever-increasing pace as he nuzzled her neck. She hiked up her legs around his hips, pulling him in deeper, and dug her nails into his shoulders. A shudder ran down his back at the sensations and soon his hips were jerking, his orgasm clawing its way up his spine. 

He heard Sam murmur something in his ear but the sensations were too much and all he was aware of was his climax as he came, bucking and growling her name. Slowly, he came back to himself and he realized she was stroking his hair. He caught her gaze, pleased to see the satisfied look on her face. 

“I’d say that went well,” she said dryly. 

Jack chuckled in response and rolled off her. “I don’t know about you, but I think that’s a bit of an understatement,” he said, raising a brow. 

Grinning, Sam leaned in and gave him a quick kiss. “It was pretty good.” 

“Agreed.” He winked and held her gaze for a little while, before he gestured towards the bathroom and sat up, “I’ll be right back.” 

She reached for the covers to straighten them, and lay back down, the satisfied little grin still playing around her lips. “And I’ll be here, waiting.”


	27. Chapter 27

**O'Neill Residence**   
**Colorado Springs, CO**   
**January 26, 2000**

A pleasant hum was coursing through Sam's body when she woke up. She blinked against the morning light streaming into the bedroom and sleepily recalled the night before, a smile spreading on her face.

Closing the curtains hadn't even crossed her mind.

She stretched a little and let out a happy sigh as her gaze settled on Jack. He was on his side, watching her with those dark eyes of his. A thrill ran down her spine at the intensity in his gaze and she reached out to touch his hand – fingers thrumming restlessly on the bed – where it lay between them. "Hey there."

"Hey." His voice was hoarse and there was warmth in those brown orbs as he turned up his palm and intertwined their fingers. "How are you feeling this morning?"

"Oh, I'm good." She grinned and leaned up on her elbows, feeling the covers slide down her bare back with the move. "A little sore… in a good way," she added at seeing his concern.

"Yeah?"

She giggled and ducked her head. "You bet."

Squeezing her fingers, he smirked. "Good."

"Did you sleep well?" He was as handsome as ever but looked a little tired and it reminded her of the fiasco his latest mission turned out to be. That was bound to take its toll on him. She lifted her hand and brushed it along his cheek, smiling when his eyes fluttered closed in response.

"Like a baby," he said as his eyes popped open and winked as he added, "courtesy of being back in my own bed, of course."

Sam rolled her eyes at his teasing and ran her hand through his hair, tugging slightly at some of the silver strands. "Smart ass."

His smirk turned into a genuine smile, dimples and all, as he regarded her. His dark eyes sparked with something she couldn't define but the intensity in them made her heart beat faster. Jack cocked his head and placed a hand on the side of her neck, his thumb caressing her cheek.

"What?"

"Nothin'."

She wiped a hand over her mouth and chin self-consciously, frowning at him. "Have I been drooling in my sleep or something?"

To her surprise, he actually laughed at her and shook his head. "Nope." As if to prove it, he leaned in and gave her a quick kiss. "You look your adorable sleepy self. No crazy pillow creases, mascara smudges, drool or whatsoever on your face."

"Then why do you keep looking at me like that?"

"Because I love you," he said simply.

The confession itself wasn't a surprise because he'd already shown it in every way possible but the voiced declaration made her breath hitch. Looking at him tenderly, she pulled him closer to capture his lips with hers in a deeper kiss. He tasted like mint and she dimly realized he must have brushed his teeth at some point. He responded eagerly, his tongue soon slipping between her lips to explore her anew.

Moaning, she welcomed him into her mouth while her hand moved down to his chest. She started running her fingers through his sparse chest hair, tugging gently every now and then. He groaned when she ran her nails over his nipple and she smiled into the kiss. His tongue became more insistent, his hand cupping the back of her head to keep her in place as he ravaged her mouth. Sam let him take the lead this time, enjoying the feelings he elicited with his skilled tongue while her lips glided along his.

After a little while they broke apart breathlessly, foreheads pressed together. Sam smiled when Jack rubbed his nose along hers as they tried to catch their breath. "I could get used to this," she murmured.

"A good way to start the day," Jack agreed, smirking.

"We should make a habit of it." She shifted to get a bit more comfortable and placed her hand atop of his where it lay between them. Goosebumps appeared on his arm when she trailed his long fingers with her own in a feather light caress.

He sighed contentedly as he looked down at their hands, turning his own upright to slip his fingers between hers in a warm grip. "I heard a rumor someone gave my room away, so I guess you're stuck with me whether you like it or not."

Smiling, she caught his gaze. "Well, Ife is getting too old to sleep in my bed, but I'll admit to having an ulterior motive."

"Yeah?"

"You bet."

The dimples made another appearance as he grinned at her, "Cool."

Rolling her eyes, she lay back down with her cheek on the pillow. "What time is it?"

"A little after oh five hundred," he said, releasing her hand to flip the cover off his watch.

Unable to resist temptation, Sam reached up and ruffled his hair while his head was down. "What time do you have to go in?"

He lifted one shoulder in a shrug and looked up at her, before his gaze wandered to her bare back. "I need to submit my mission report by the end of the week. No missions for SG-1 for a while either. Daniel requested permission to visit Abydos for a long weekend and Hammond approved. Teal'c was thinking about using that time to visit his family and the Rebels. So…"

"So, you're all mine?"

Smirking, he winked at her. "Yeah sure, you betcha."

"I like the sound of that."

"Yeah? Me too."

She hummed when he reached out to touch her, his fingertips trailing lightly down her spine. The touch elicited a shudder and she smiled into her pillow. He was a tactile man and when she woke up, she'd recognized his desire to touch her warring with a need to control the urge in case she didn't welcome it. The fact that he'd hesitated for fear of startling her out of her sleep and bringing back bad memories made her love him all the more. "We should get up… Ife will wake up soon and I need to be on base on time."

He made a noncommittal sound and started tracing invisible patterns on her back. "I'll take care of the munchkin today," he said after a minute. "You can get some more sleep, while I get started on breakfast."

"No, stay," she said drowsily. His hand was warm on her back and the touch had a relaxing effect on her. Low-level arousal stirred in her belly in a comfortable way when he chuckled and leaned in to kiss her shoulder. "I might not be able to get up, though."

"Wanna play hooky and call in sick?" He asked, murmuring against her skin.

Resisting temptation, she shook her head. "No, I can't. I need to see Daniel and Teal'c before they go off-world."

Jack caught her eye and raised a brow. "About the Goa'uld?"

"Nyan and I have been working on outlining the Goa'uld hierarchy and making a family tree if you will of the System Lords by using mission reports, mythology, intel from allies and what little Herit knew."

"And you want them to help out?"

She shrugged and rolled onto her side to face him. "Teal'c already gave a lot of information over the years but if he's going to visit his family and the Rebel Jaffa he might be able to get some updates about the state of the galaxy."

Nodding, he reached out and brushed a lock of hair behind her ear, understanding showing on his face. "And Daniel can ask Sha're and Skaara what they remember from Amaunet and Klorel."

"Every bit can help."

"I'm sure they'll do their best. They want the Goa'uld gone as much as we do, if not more."

Sam noticed the way he schooled his features at the mention of the two former hosts and knew it was for her benefit. Especially Skaara and Klorel were difficult because of the life she had to live as Herit. She still had difficulty separating the two even though she knew Skaara was just as much a victim as she'd been herself. Then again, she was pretty sure Skaara was just as uncomfortable with her from what Jack had told her about his conversations with the Abydonian. "The problem is that neither seems to remember much," she said, frowning.

Jack hesitated for a moment and didn't speak until she touched his forearm. "If Daniel is not successful, maybe I could go talk to them…"

"I know you and Skaara had a good relationship before he was taken," she said softly, squeezing his arm in support. "You don't have to avoid him on my account. I know all of this put you kind of in the middle but you care about him and I don't want you to hold back for me."

"It's not just that… it's a little weird," he confessed.

The past couple of weeks they'd done a lot of talking about her time with the Goa'uld and off-world, including the relationship with Klorel as she'd pretended to be his mate. To her surprise, Jack already knew a little about the more intimate side of things from his conversations with Skaara. She hadn't gone into great detail and even kept the things Klorel had told her about Skaara's thoughts and feelings for her from him – they were either a lie or an uncomfortable truth she could live without – out of respect for his bond with Skaara. "He's had some more time to readjust on Abydos now. Maybe things will be less awkward."

He made a face and shrugged. "Maybe."

"If his and Sha're's knowledge of the System Lords isn't easily accessible you might be able to get more out of them than Daniel. I can imagine it must be especially difficult for Sha're considering what she's been through."

"She's been coping pretty well from what Daniel told me, although her experience has had its effect on their relationship. There's a good chance she doesn't _want_ to remember," he cautioned her.

It didn't take a lot of effort to put herself in Sha're's shoes and after a moment of imagining, Sam shook her head. "No, she'll tell you what she can if it means ridding the galaxy of the Goa'uld. It might take some persuading, but it'd probably be even easier for her to confide in you rather than her husband."

Jack sat up and scrubbed a hand over his face before glancing back to her and nodding. "Yeah, maybe. She's been through a lot, though. What if the traumatic memories are too overwhelming for her? They're probably closer to the surface than Amaunet's genetic memories or whatever she learned as host."

"I guess that depends on how she's been dealing with all of it since returning to Abydos. Maybe she has better control of Amaunet's memories by now. If not, she's going to need to focus. Or learn how to. In that case, she'll need you to guide her."

"She might not be comfortable doing that with me," he hedged. "Not if she fears some more, uh, intimate memories come up."

Frowning, Sam followed his example and sat up, turning towards him. "She trusts you, right?"

He shrugged, "She used to, after we got rid of Ra. But then she was taken by Apophis, so…"

"You saved her from Amaunet and SG-1 returned her son to her," she countered.

"She might be more at ease with a woman."

She raised a brow at his attempt to look innocent and as if the idea had just come to him. "Jack…"

He had the grace to look embarrassed at her tone. "I know it's awkward and that you don't feel like meeting up with either of them but… she can relate to you. It would be easier to talk to someone – a woman – who has been through something similar and you can show her how to take control of Amaunet's knowledge."

"I don't know," she said, hesitating. "My presence might not be necessary. For all we know she'd much rather talk to you. I don't even know if she knows who I am and if she'd be comfortable with me at all considering I'm also a former host."

"We could try," he suggested kindly.

She felt conflicted about the whole thing and would much rather not go. There was no desire to meet up with other former hosts from her side, who was to say Sha're didn't feel the same? They hadn't spent a lot of time together as hosts. Amaunet had been with Apophis while she was with Klorel and later on, Amaunet was hidden away and Sam fled. "She could be upset with me for leaving her there. When I left the _hatak_ I knew where she was and I chose to leave her there while I saved myself."

"And if you hadn't, you and Ife might not be here. Hell, Sha're and Skaara might still be hosts. You left and fixed Thor's Hammer – that gave us the opportunity to de-snake them both."

"I don't know…"

Jack reached out and squeezed her hand. "Just think about it. You don't have to decide right away. I'm gonna check on Ife and make you some breakfast."

She watched as he got out of bed, admiring his body before he slipped on sweatpants and left the room. Left alone, her thoughts returned to their conversation. Was she ready to go to Abydos to help Sha're and confront a part of her own past she thought she'd dealt with already? And what about Skaara? He was bound to be there as well and just the thought of seeing him again made her stomach churn.

* * *

**O'Neill Residence**   
**Colorado Springs, CO**   
**January 28, 2000**

Jack looked up from the puzzle he and Ife were making when the front door opened. He heard Sam's familiar footfall and smiled to himself as he waited for her to join them. She'd been on base all day, putting the finishing touches on the who's who of the System Lords puzzle in preparation of tomorrow's mission to Abydos. For a change, he'd been the one to stay home and take care of Ife all day.

"Hey there," Sam said, appearing at the top of the steps leading into the living room.

Ife glanced up at her with a beaming smile on her face, her hand with the other half of an elephant frozen mid-air. "Hi Momma!"

Smirking, he watched as Sam walked over to them. "I was kinda expecting a 'Honey, I'm home' sort of greeting," he teased.

"Hey sweetie," Sam said as she bent down and pressed a kiss to Ife's crown. Then, smirking, she reached out to ruffle Jack's hair, "Honey, I'm home."

"C'mere you," he murmured, pulling her in for a kiss with a hand on the back of her neck. The kiss was brief and warm, comforting and familiar, yet sparked a fire in his belly at the same time. He let out a soft sigh as they broke apart, gazing at her lovely features. It had only been a little over twelve hours since he woke up next to her but still he'd missed her. "Productive day?"

Groaning, she straightened to her full height and stretched her tall frame to work the kinks from her back, no doubt a result from spending her day flying a desk. Scrubbing a hand over her face, she suddenly looked exhausted. "Long."

He grabbed her hand and gently tugged on it, silently asking her to join him and their daughter in Ife's play corner of the living room. Their little girl was sitting between his legs with the wooden puzzle in front of her, so Sam sank down on the blanket next to him. He pulled her into his side as she folded up her legs and pressed a kiss to her temple. "Just relax for a little."

"Look Momma." Ife glanced over her shoulder at her and gestured at her puzzle. "Did it myself!"

"Ooh," Sam said obligingly, stretching a little to get a peek at the wooden toy. It was a board with cutouts for animal figurines in two or three big pieces that Ife had to put back together and place in the correct place. The poor elephant was still missing its rear, but the other five animals were whole and – with some help from Jack – in their correct spot. "What happened to the elephant, sweetie?"

Ife tilted her head a little, brow furrowed in confusion and Jack smiled at the resemblance to Sam's facial expression when she was working on a doohickey. Then, as if searching for it, Ife started looking around for the other half. Jack tapped the back of the hand that held the piece to remind her. Ife grinned triumphantly and showed it to Sam. "Look!"

"And where does it go?"

"Goes here," Ife replied confidently, pointing at the only free spot.

Jack smiled as he watched them fuss over the puzzle. He could tell they'd missed each other – although Sam Ife perhaps a little more than the other way around as their munchkin seemed to have gotten used to spending more time away from her – and knew exactly how Sam felt because it was the same for him when he'd been gone all day or even on overnight missions. He ruffled Ife's hair and squeezed her shoulder gently when she looked up at him with those big dark blue eyes of hers. "Why don't you tell Mommy about all the fun stuff we did today?" He pressed a kiss to her chubby little cheek and turned to Sam, "I'm gonna heat up dinner and start setting the table."

Sam's eyebrows rose in surprise. "You cooked? How… domestic."

"Yes, well, someone has to feed the munchkin and you've worked all day," he said as he rose.

"Thank you."

He winked at her and stretched his legs, wincing as his knee popped. "If you ladies need me, I'll be in the kitchen."

In the kitchen he overheard snippets of their conversation as he went about heating up the meal he'd cooked earlier. Before Sam and Ife had come to stay with him he hadn't realized how quiet his house had been. Even without knowing the truth about Ife's paternity he'd started enjoying their presence and now, after less than three months, he couldn't imagine life without them.

A second chance like his was rare and he was grateful for it. He never thought he'd get to be a dad again and now he had a little girl. Sam's laugh sounded from the living room and he was reminded of how lucky he was in that respect as well. A woman like her who loved him in spite of the dark stains on his soul.

He stepped away from the chili he was reheating and grabbed some bowls and utensils to set the table. The tops of Sam and Ife's – who was standing between Sam's legs with her arms wrapped around her neck – heads were just visible above the half wall behind the dinner table. His heart constricted at the sight of the two of them cuddling and he simply gazed at them. Jack knew from experience that they could be ripped away from him in a heartbeat and he wanted to memorize the picture they made.

The thought of losing them reinforced the idea he'd been playing with lately. Spending time with the two of them was something he looked forward to all day, especially after a rough mission. The talk he'd had with Daniel about prioritizing family had made Jack think about his own little family. Going on missions had lost its appeal because it meant spending too much time apart from Sam and Ife. The last couple of days had also reminded him of how precious time with his little girl was now that Sam had started working longer hours. So, maybe, Daniel wasn't the only one who wanted something other than SG-1…

Hammond wouldn't be thrilled but the General was experienced enough to know officers were reassigned all the time. Four years on one team was a long time already and they were currently already down one member.

"What's for dinner?" Sam appeared in the doorway, smiling. "I'm starving."

Placing the last spoon on the table Jack looked up at her. "Chili."

She eyed the table, "You two haven't eaten yet? You didn't have to wait for me."

"It's not that late yet. Ife snacked on some berries earlier so she wasn't hungry anyway."

"And you weren't hungry either?"

"Nah." He shrugged before indicating the living room, "If you get the munchkin, I'll get the food."

By the time Sam returned and put Ife in her booster chair, Jack had filled their bowls and set out two glasses of water. He went back into the kitchen to get the crackers both girls liked and a Guinness.

He took the seat opposite of Sam and popped open the beer, taking a swig. "So, how was your day, honey?"

She grinned as she took the beer he was holding out to her. "Better now," she said, after taking a sip.

"Long day?"

"In a manner of speaking. I spent the day dealing with more of the same but..."

"But what?"

"I started thinking."

Jack held his spoonful of chili midair and considered her carefully, "Thinking about what?"

"Going to Abydos."

"And what did you decide?"

"That maybe you were right. Talking to someone who's been through something similar might be easier for Sha're." She sighed and took another sip of beer before she tried to explain. "I meant it when I said I didn't know her well and have no idea if she'd be willing to talk to me, but mostly I hesitated because I want to leave all of that in the past. Well, that and…"

He knew what the rest of her hesitation was. Skaara. How could she not hesitate? But Jack had known him back when he was still the overexcited Abydonian boy and he'd also been there after the snake was killed. He'd seen the way all of it had affected Skaara, too. "He's a different guy, Sam."

"I know that," she said hotly, and then glanced over at Ife who was playing with her crackers, not paying any attention at all to her parents. "I know," she said more subdued. "And I've dealt with what happened. I have. But I never considered having to look at his face again. It isn't the easiest decision to make."

He could imagine. And he wouldn't trivialize her decision with platitudes. "Are you sure?"

"Not entirely," she said with a thin laugh. "But I've already talked to General Hammond about it, and he's okayed it."

"That was fast," Jack said, sitting back in his chair. But it didn't surprise him that Sam would move forward that quickly once making up her mind. She wasn't one to sit idly by once a decision had been made.

"I saw no reason to drag it out." She took a bite of her chili, rapidly cooling in front of her. "He didn't mention whether or not you'd go."

"I think because the decision would be ours, first and foremost."

"Ife," she said with a nod.

He took a few bites of his own – fortunately, the meal still tasted good – and glanced at their daughter. She was the most important person in their lives and hadn't he just decided that maybe it was time to retire from the field to spend more time with her?

Yet, all of his instincts were screaming at him to not let Sam go to Abydos without him. Not that there was any _letting_ Sam do anything, but he wanted to be there for her. He knew her well enough to know she'd soldier on regardless of her feelings and that it wasn't like he'd be able – or needed – to hold her hand through the visit. Silent support was pretty much all he could give her, but he suspected that was all she'd need.

"Are you… okay, with me changing my mind?" She asked, sounding uncharacteristically unsure of herself.

"You know I am."

She looked relieved, a small smile playing on her lips. "I know we said one of us should be here if the other goes off-world for Ife's sake, but I'd like you to come with. You know Skaara and Sha're and can, I don't know, mediate if necessary."

They both knew Daniel could do that too, him being married to Sha're and all. Jack didn't say anything though and simply nodded, "Sure. Abydos is a friendly planet, anyway. Fraiser or the Dixons probably wouldn't mind watching Ife for us."

"We should call them after dinner, the General wants us to leave tomorrow morning."

"But after this, Sam, I think it's time for me to reassess going off-world regularly as part of a team."

Surprised, she dropped her spoon and frowned, searching for words. "You want to… leave the field? Why?"

He shrugged with a faked air of indifference. "I think it's time. My knees and back aren't what they used to be-"

"Jack."

"Okay, okay," he said, holding up his hands in supplication at her _don't bullshit me_ tone. "I- God, I don't know, Sam. I'm just tired and soon I'll only have half a team and I don't feel like breaking in new people. Hell, for all I know T will leave as well once the System Lords are gone. I'm too old to traipse the galaxy and risk getting killed or, worse, snaked."

She tilted her head a little and reached for his hand on the table top. "This isn't about me, is it?"

Squeezing her fingers, he shook his head. "No. It's about me-"

"Or what happened with the Eurondans? Because you know I-"

"No," he said, interrupting her. Then he sighed. "I don't know, maybe. Not because of you, I know we're good," he hastened to add. "But the whole situation made me rethink things."

Her face was a picture of concern but he could see the confusion in her eyes as well. "What kind of things?"

Jack scrubbed his free hand over his face and groaned. God, he hated talking about this sort of stuff. He looked from Sam to their daughter and back again. "Maybe you're right. It's not just about me. It's about her as well, and you. Hell, it's about everything. I don't want to keep risking my neck out there when I've got the two of you here. That's pretty damn selfish, I know, but-"

"I think we're allowed to be a little bit selfish after everything we've been through."

"I set out to help Daniel get Sha're and Skaara back and kill the rest of Ra's cousins. The first part's done, the second part is in progress." He shrugged, although he lacked her conviction about permitting himself to put self before service. "It's time for someone else, someone younger and less jaded to take over."

Sam smiled and reached for the beer they'd been sharing. "Well, I don't know about the last bit. I mean, if it hadn't been for you the deal with the Eurondans would have gone through. Or at the very least we'd have Alar among us, with too much power and knowledge."

He knew she made a valid point and it was something he'd considered as well. "Yeah, about that…"

"You thought the same thing," she said, after taking a sip.

"It crossed my mind," Jack said. "I don't think I'm ready to retire yet. Not until I know for sure there won't be an even bigger enemy once the System Lords are taken care of-"

She quirked a brow, "The brass wouldn't let you retire anyway. You're too valuable for the Program because of your experiences, knowledge and the allies you've made."

Grimacing in acknowledgement, he took the Guinness from her and took a swig. "Flying a desk isn't really my style either. So, I was thinking maybe I can convince Hammond to let me set up a training program for SGC recruits. Right now, we're just picking up potentials here and there. There's no real structure or program for them to go through."

"And that way you can pass on your knowledge and experiences to prevent future SG teams from trusting the wrong people out of desire to get protection for Earth."

"Something like that, yeah."

She beamed at him and squeezed his hand. "I think that's a great idea, Jack."

It felt like a weight had been lifted off his shoulders and he realized he hadn't thought of how much her approval meant to him. But she had his back, like she'd promised.


	28. Chapter 28

**Abydos**   
**Milky Way Galaxy**   
**January 28, 2000**

The sun was high in the sky when they arrived on Abydos, the temperature a stark contrast with the winter they'd left behind in Colorado Springs. The abrupt change of surroundings was still a strange yet familiar and welcome sensation. Sam quirked a smile and felt some of the nerves about the mission dissipate.

Jack caught her eye, looked at his team and then back to her. He'd put on his sunglasses just before they exited the pyramid that housed the stargate so she couldn't see his expression. "Everyone ready to move out?"

"You do know this is more of a social visit than a mission, right Jack?" Daniel asked, rolling his eyes.

This time Sam didn't need to see his eyes when Jack glanced at her. For Daniel, maybe. She only came here to get the information they needed to defeat the System Lords. She didn't say anything though and instead retrieved the pair of Bugaboos Jack had lend her – his backup pair – to shield her eyes from the blinding sun. Reaching up, she adjusted her cap for optimal protection and inwardly wondered why someone hadn't scheduled the mission for early morning or evening Abydos time rather than what appeared to be Earth's equivalent of noon. Perspiration was already starting to pebble on her back from the heat and warmth of the heavy pack she was carrying. "I'm ready."

"As am I," Teal'c said, looking as cool and collected as always.

Daniel was wearing a bandana and slipped on his sunglasses, but he didn't look at all perturbed at the warm temperatures. Sam had to remind herself he'd lived on the planet for over a year before returning to Earth. It was like a second home to him. He was talking to the native Abydonian who'd welcomed them at the stargate, but they were too far away for her to hear what they were saying. It appeared neither of them had heard Jack, either.

Her gaze went back to Jack, looking every inch the commander. She took a moment to admire the way his desert camos emphasized his tan and how his long fingers held his weapon. Even on an unofficial mission like theirs he looked ready to strike at the first sign of danger. He had a presence, something innate, and she wondered if he'd miss being out in the field.

Jack sighed and she could tell he was annoyed by the way his brows knitted together as he looked at Daniel. "Daniel, Tobay? I'd like to get moving before we die of heatstroke."

"Oh, right," Daniel said, moving towards them. "Um, Tobay was just catching me up. We should go see Kasuf in Nagada first, to announce our presence. He's not expecting all of us."

"Teal'c, you take point."

Sam watched as the team fell into place, Teal'c taking the lead, Daniel with Tobay in the middle and Jack fell into step with her at the rear. They started off in silence but soon Daniel and Tobay picked up their conversation again. She wasn't paying much attention to them although the Abydonian dialect was close enough to Goa'uld that she understood the snippets she overheard. Her nerves had made a comeback and the closer they got, the more intense they became. Rather than focus on the irrational feelings, she kept her attention to their surroundings and slogging through the desert sand.

"I hate sandy planets," Jack muttered, bumping her shoulder as they walked down a dune.

"Me too," she confessed, quirking a smile. "The sand gets everywhere."

He made a face, nodding. "We'll still be finding the stuff all over the house by the time Ife starts kindergarten."

She chuckled at his joke and the smug grin she got in response made her stomach flutter in a good way. They lingered a little and it made her wish he wasn't wearing sunglasses, because all she could see was her own reflection. But her inattentiveness nearly made her stumble in the sand. She caught herself and managed to stay on her feet, reminding them both to focus on their surroundings. She sent him a reassuring smile before casting a look around them.

They weren't expecting any hostiles but as long as the System Lords were still alive and kicking they couldn't take any chances, hence the weaponry on a social call. Not that one could tell looking at Daniel, who was so caught up in his conversation with the Abydonian that he wouldn't notice it if a Goa'uld ringed down in front of them.

By the time a large stone wall became visible they'd walked several klicks and Sam's calves were aching from the trek across unfamiliar terrain. Jack's mouth had turned into a grim line, although she couldn't say whether it was from the trek or the sand in unwanted places. Daniel and Tobay had fallen quiet about twenty minutes ago and Teal'c was still carrying on stoically up front.

"You'd think they'd choose a place a little closer to the damn gate as their capital," Jack muttered as he wiped across his forehead.

"To be fair, I doubt it's far away by ship or even on horseback or some crude form of transport."

He frowned at her, as if to say she wasn't helping. "I hope Sha're is there as well."

Sam wasn't sure where else the woman could be, considering she'd only seen Ra's temple from which they came and another pyramid relatively close to it. Well, it was possible Sha're was in that pyramid, she supposed. "Let's just hope Kasuf is still here."

"Oh, um, as the leader of the Abydonians Kasuf is settled in Nagada," Daniel said, waving towards stone wall ahead of them. "He's not supposed to leave so that his people may always find him."

"Convenient." Jack muttered it under his breath but audible to Sam.

Daniel started talking about Kasuf, his position among his people, his achievements, his gratitude towards SG-1 and whatnot.

It all went in one ear and out the other for Sam.

Her mind turned inwards, only dimly aware of the conversation between the men. Soon, they'd be inside the walled city and she was expected to help Sha're access essential intel to bring down the System Lords. Chances were that Sha're's brother was there as well. How was Sam supposed to keep her cool and play nice with Skaara, the face worn by Klorel during the long month she'd been at his side as Herit?

Maybe, she thought, he wouldn't even be there. Or perhaps he'd make sure to avoid her once he heard of her arrival. She and Jack hadn't talked a lot about Skaara, most of their conversations about that time in her life had been centered on Klorel. But she knew from what little they'd discussed that Skaara was ashamed of what he'd been forced to do by the Goa'uld. She supposed it was possible the Abydonian would go out of his way not to see her.

"Hey."

Jack's voice and a nudge to her shoulder brought her back to the present. They'd reached the capital. The stone wall was rather impressive when she looked up and immediately information about the city, its structures and purpose flooded her mind from Herit's genetic memories. Sometimes, the Goa'uld's knowledge would come to her during an unguarded moment. Hell, if she was honest with herself it usually only happened when she was barely holding it – herself – together. It was as if there was still a part of Herit somewhere in her subconscious that would strike the moment she let her self-control slip. Realistically, she knew the Goa'uld was dead, but it was still unnerving whenever it happened.

"Sam?"

Mentally shaking herself, Sam tried to ignore the accompanying headache. Jack looked at her with concern, so she briefly touched his arm. "Sorry, I must have zoned out a little."

He gestured for the team to enter when the wooden gate opened but held back, turning more fully towards her. "Are you okay, Sam?"

"Yeah," she said, nodding. Her palms were sweating though, and not from the heat. "Just not looking forward to seeing him again."

"I know." Jack removed his sunglasses and his fingers twitched, as if he wanted to touch her. "You don't have to go through with this. You know that, right?"

She huffed out a laugh. "I didn't come all this way to turn back around and leave again."

He studied the sand beneath their feet for a moment, before catching her eye. "This was my idea and if you're not up for it…"

"I am," she said, "I can do it."

"This isn't about proving yourself, Sam."

In a way, it felt like it was. Not to others, but to herself. "It's about getting the necessary information." She took a deep breath and pasted a smile on her face. "Let's go."

He looked like he had more to say, but he acquiesced and fell into step with her. "Alright, let's get this over with."

The inside of the city was nothing like the memories Herit had imprinted on her. Centuries might have passed since that image or perhaps it was down to the rebellion against Ra. Either way, the wall still stood and kept the tented city safe from sandstorms.

The other half of SG-1 stood out like a sore thumb among the Abydonians and they quickly rejoined them. Daniel appeared impatient and Sam couldn't blame him. He'd been looking forward to visiting his wife and stepson according to Jack. He informed them that Tobay had gone looking for Kasuf and that he'd be right back. Teal'c was looking at them intently, reminding her of Bra'tac.

"We're good, T," Jack said softly.

She couldn't help but smile when the Jaffa then sent her an inquiring look. Before she could even say anything, he inclined his head in understanding.

It didn't take Tobay long to find his way back to them. He explained he'd found Kasuf and would take them there in broken English. This time, Tobay and Daniel took point, both completely at ease in the city and Abydonian culture. They led them through a market of sorts and into a relatively open space where some sort of meeting was taking place between about a half dozen men.

Under normal circumstances Sam might have appreciated the atmosphere and reminisced about her time spent among similar cultures. Not today, though. She kept furtively glancing around, looking for the Abydonian whose face still haunted her dreams as more people gathered around. She figured they were unusual enough to draw a crowd. The men they were brought before were all older, though. Probably the ones running the society together with this Kasuf now that Ra was gone.

" _Chel hol_ , Good Father," Daniel said, walking up to the older man seated in the middle.

The man got to his feet gracefully and smiled. "You have returned to us once more, Good Son. And you have brought your friends, our allies. Colonel O'Neill, Teal'c, it is good to see you."

"Kasuf of Abydos," Teal'c said with a small bow.

"Good to see you, too, Kasuf." Jack tipped his cap in greeting and beckoned Sam over. "I would like to introduce you to, um, a friend of ours. Major Carter."

Daniel quickly jumped in, "She's the one who made it possible to defeat the demons inside of Sha're and Skaara."

Kasuf's eyes widened almost comically as he took her in. Taking a step closer, he bowed his head to her. " _Tal mal tiak. Mal we'ia_. I am honored, Major Carter."

Sam had taken off her sunglasses and hat, and smiled politely while searching her mind for an appropriate response. " _Mai'aka maki, Kasuf_."

"You speak the language of the Gods," he said, smiling as if impressed. "I should not be surprised given your accomplishments in fighting the demons who took two of our own."

She exchanged an uncertain glance with Jack before turning back to the Abydonian leader, "Um, I'm glad I could help."

"Help!" He parroted. "You have returned Sha're and Skaara to us! We must celebrate!"

The leader started conferring with the other handful of men he'd been talking to before they arrived, gesturing wildly. After a few minutes they seemed to have reached a decision but Daniel interrupted at Jack's non-verbal _negative_ and told them it wasn't necessary. "But we must, Good Son. You and your friends saved three of our people. This is the first time you are all here since you brought back Shifu and now Major Carter joins us as well! We must honor you and the Gods."

"Look, Kasuf, we really appreciate it," Jack started, "but Daniel came here to spend time with his family and we'd like to talk to Sha're and Skaara about their, er, demons, to help us fight the rest of them."

"Yes, and you will, but we will also celebrate! You must eat and so we celebrate," Kasuf said, smiling widely. Then, he turned to the crowd they'd drawn and called out commands in his native language to start the preparations.

Daniel asked him after the whereabouts of Sha're and Shifu, before looking to Jack. "Do you mind if I go ahead and-"

Jack made a dismissive wave with his hand before he'd even finished his request, "Go. We'll come find you in a few."

"Ahh, and here is my son," Kasuf announced proudly as the crowd started dispersing.

Sam had been watching Daniel go, disappearing among the crowd, when she heard Kasuf's announcement. From the corner of her eye, she saw Teal'c give his customary bow in greeting and Jack was looking at her strangely, but she barely took notice and pasted a smile on her face as she turned around to meet the Abydonian leader's son.

She recognized Klorel's host instantly though there was no gold or ornate jewelry, his clothing was different and his hair less coiffed. Cold sweat broke out on her skin and bile rose in her throat. She must have made a sound or perhaps he'd sensed her naquadah, because he broke off in the middle of his greeting to Teal'c and Jack and zeroed in on her with those dark eyes of his.

Skaara recoiled, eyes wide as he took her in. "You…"

"My son," Kasuf said, slinging an arm around his shoulders and looking from him to Sam. "The _Tau'ri_ have brought Major Carter to speak to your sister. You have met, yes? She is the one who helped rid you of your demons. We must discuss preparations for a celebratory feast to honor our _Tau'ri_ friends. Sit, come sit everyone."

Sam took the opportunity to turn away from them, frantically trying to control her breathing as she wiped her clammy hands on her jacket. When she looked up, Jack was standing in front of her, concern practically radiating off him. But he didn't grab or touch her, he simply stood there, waiting for a sign from her. Closing her eyes, she took a deep breath to steel herself and gave him a shaky smile. "I'm okay."

"Yeah," he said softly, walking past her to join the Abydonians, "you are."

She swallowed down her disgust before following him and taking the seat indicated between him and Teal'c. The sand was warm as she settled down cross-legged. Kasuf and Jack were discussing something, but she was having a hard time following the conversation. It took all of her self-control to simply stay put. Teal'c and Jack's presence were of little comfort when she felt Skaara's gaze on her. Being this close to him made her skin crawl and her breakfast was threatening to come up again.

Kasuf and Skaara were seated in the middle of the half circle the Abydonians formed, across from her. Looking at them, she was suddenly transported back nearly two and a half years ago, dragged into the throne room of a _ha'tak._ Half starved, drenched, freezing and in pain. An unexpected strike had brought her to her knees, pain searing through her body on impact. Water dripped from her hair as she was forced to kneel in front of a different father with the same son, yet not.

She jerked back to reality when Jack's fingers oh so accidentally brushed against her knee as he shifted to get more comfortable, muttering something to the Abydonians about getting old and having a sore knee. The brief touch grounded her and she felt like she could breathe again.

A shiver ran through her despite the Abydos heat.

Teal'c and Jack both gave the impression they were completely engaged in the conversation with Kasuf but the way they caught her eye when she glanced their way told her they'd noticed her zoning out. Jack's brown eyes were soft and conveyed his support, Teal'c's understanding and strength soothed her frayed nerves.

Sam felt a calm settle over her.

Slowly, she unclenched her hands – her nails had drawn a little blood from her palms – and took a deep breath before focusing on their host and his son. She was going to face this head on.

Jack was trying to explain their plan to Kasuf, although it didn't sound like the Abydonian leader needed a lot of convincing to give them access to his children. Kasuf was simply grateful to SG-1 for bringing them back to him and although he didn't really understand the concept of parasites and hosts, he seemed more than willing to help take down the System Lords in any way he could.

Sam let her gaze drift to his right, forcing herself to remain relaxed while she took a closer look at Skaara. He was smaller, less imposing than she remembered. He looked younger too… her stomach churned at the memory of how he'd stood before her during the Rite of _Un_ _Ḥ_ _er_ _Ȧ_ _m Setcherit._ He'd seemed young then too, his physique. But it was different now. The boyishness was completely gone but there was something vulnerable about him…

Suddenly, their eyes met as he looked straight at her. Her breathing hitched and her muscles tensed in anticipation, but nothing happened. He just held her gaze, as if searching for something. That was when she realized that he wasn't dealing well with her presence either. Sure, he'd recoiled in shock at seeing her, but she hadn't given it much thought beyond that. Now, though, she could see all the signs of his own discomfort. He could barely hold her gaze, nervously jumping from her to Jack and back. And for the first time since she'd met him there was guilt in those dark eyes of his – a lot of it – rather than the calculating coldness she'd expected to see.

For some strange reason she felt the urge to say something to him. She had no idea what she could possibly say to make things less awkward and uncomfortable though.

Fortunately, she was saved from doing anything at all by the appearance of Daniel.

"Where is my daughter, Good Son?" Kasuf tried to look beyond him, a concerned look on his face.

"She is bringing Shifu to the nursemaid," Daniel replied. "She will be here shortly, Good Father."

The Abydonian leader nodded in acknowledgement, seemingly pleased his daughter had chosen to cooperate with their request. "You may take her and Major Carter to the _ȧahar_ , while Colonel O'Neill speaks to my son."

Sam glanced around until her eyes landed on a relatively large tent she hadn't noticed before. It stood out a little from the others because of its size and the use of animal hair to protect it from the elements. The majority of the other tents appeared to be made of some kind of fabric rather than the hide of an animal. The few tents made of the same material probably belonged to Kasuf and other important Abydonians.

"Teal'c?"

"I will remain here to discuss the possibility of an alliance between the people of Abydos and the Rebel Jaffa, O'Neill," the Jaffa said.

Jack nodded and eyed her briefly, seemingly satisfied with her current state of mind. "Well, I think that's it for now then. Skaara, why don't you show me your digs? The rest of us will meet up here afterwards for, uh, the feast."

She watched them go with a tight smile, feeling simultaneously relieved with Skaara gone and a little apprehensive without Jack. Fortunately, Daniel seemed to understand and reached out his hand to her after getting up. "What about Sha're?"

"Will you tell her we'll be waiting for her in the _ȧahar_ , Good Father?"

Sam took Daniel's hand and let him help her up, before hoisting her heavy pack up. At Kasuf's okay they headed towards the hairy tent. It was perhaps a hundred meters away and on the way over she noticed there were fewer people bustling about. "Do they have siestas here?"

Daniel flashed her a grin as he shook his head. "No, they're used to the heat. They're all preparing for the feast tonight, helping out in whichever way they can."

"What kind of animal do they use to make these?" She asked as they arrived at the tent.

"Mastadges," Daniel said, gesturing to the other side of the village. "They're the local livestock, but the Abydonians treat them much better than we do on Earth. Only the most prestigious are used in this manner after death."

She went inside when he held the tent flap open for her. It was a bit musty but otherwise fine. There were pillows on the floor and a tray with cups near them on one side and on the other side was curtained off, probably leading to whatever passed as beds on Abydos. "Whose tent is this?"

He gestured for her to take a seat and started lighting some of the candles and lanterns. "No one's. Whenever they set up camp, they set up this tent for honored guests. Today that's us, I guess."

"Oh."

"I'm sure Sha're will be here soon," he said, glancing back at the tent's opening. He took off his glasses and rubbed at his eyes a little before leveling her with a concerned blue gaze. "Are you doing okay with all of this? I know it was a lot to ask-"

"Jack suggested it a couple of days ago and after thinking it over I realized he was right. It's not my favorite way to spend the weekend but if it'll help us get rid of the Goa'uld…"

He chuckled softly, "That's basically what Sha're said, too."

Sighing, she raised one shoulder in half shrug. "I figured she'd feel the same way."

"Sha're is not like you, Sam," he said after a moment, brows knitted together.

"Maybe you're not giving her enough credit." She could tell he was worried about his wife, but found it hard to believe he failed to recognize her strength. To come through what Sha're went through relatively sane was a testament to her character. Sam might not have felt any special connection to Sha're because of their shared experiences but she admired the hell out of her. Just the idea of having her child be taken from her after escaping Apophis' clutches and then to be handed over to another System Lord… "She's a lot stronger than she looks, or she wouldn't have made it."

Daniel quickly sat down across from her and made a placating gesture with his hand. "Oh no, I didn't mean it like that. She's very strong and spirited, part of why I fell for her." He smiled a little, then shook his head sadly, "It's her state of mind that's delicate."

"Daniel…"

"I know your experiences aren't exactly the same but I've seen how you handle yourself these past three months. The way you've dealt with what was done to you… It's-it's impressive and I wish I knew how I could help Sha're do the same." He'd rushed the words and took a moment to breathe, visibly collecting himself as he spoke about his wife. "The balance she's achieved is precarious at best, Sam."

She knew what it was like – the memories, the nightmares, the Goa'uld knowledge, the changed body chemistry, the conflicted feelings – because she'd been there, two years ago. It had been difficult to overcome but she had Bra'tac looking out for her and helping her devise coping mechanisms. She reached out and squeezed his arm, "I felt that way, at least a little bit, a long time ago. But there are ways to overcome it, Daniel. Sha're has already come a long way and I don't doubt that she'll pull through this. It's going to take time, effort, focus and a lot of patience – from both of you."

The concern left his face and in its place was that typical Daniel look, part curious and intrigued yet cautious as well. "Do you think you can help her? I mean, I know that's not why you're here, but…"

"I can try," she said, biting her lip. She wasn't sure she was the right person for the job but she couldn't very well do nothing, especially not when he came right out and asked for her help. Of course, it would be up to Sha're to accept anything Sam would give her. "And I promise I'll do my best to make this as easy as possible on her, but I can tell you right now that things are going to get rough if we access the Goa'uld memories we need."

"I know you will and I trust you. You're the closest thing we've got to an expert on this." He sighed and looked off into the distance, thinking. When he turned back there was a pleading look in his eyes, "Just try to remember that Sha're… she's from a different time and place. You've seen the way they live here, this was all she knew before she was taken. If anything, the trauma has made her more closed off, so just keep in mind that she might not speak as frankly as you're used to, okay?"

"I haven't always shown it, but I am sympathetic to her, Daniel. Trust me, if we didn't need Amaunet's knowledge I wouldn't be here to put Sha're through the ringer. But the things she and Skaara know could help us destroy the Goa'uld. That's too big to pass up."

He smiled wryly, "Yeah, I know."

Daniel had barely finished or Sha're entered the tent, looking wary. "Know what, husband?"

"Oh, um," he got to his feet and walked over to her. "I know that Major Carter here will take good care of you. I'll be right outside if you need me. You can trust her, Sha're."

Sam watched as he pressed a kiss to his wife's cheek and left while Sha're simply stood there, looking at her. "Why don't you take a seat, Sha're?"

The alien woman moved slowly but sat down in a graceful move, rearranging her dress around her feet as she folded up her legs. Like Skaara, Sha're looked very different in her Abydonian garb compared to when she'd been a host. No high quality fabric, form-fitting or somewhat revealing outfit and the lack of shiny jewelry was almost glaring. Her hair looked uncombed, a little wild, and she wore no heavy eyeliner or other makeup. Sam hadn't paid Sha're – or Amaunet – much attention but now that they were sitting across from each other she could see the family resemblance with Skaara – they had the same eyes, two dark pits.

"Thank you for coming," she said, smiling politely. "I know this isn't easy for you but it's important that we learn as much-"

"Daniel told me."

Sam was surprised by her strong accent, but it served as another reminder that Sha're and Amaunet weren't the same person. "Do you also know why I'm here?"

Sha're nodded slowly, a stubborn set to her chin. "A demon took you as well. It is not hard to see why, you are very beautiful."

"Oh, um, thanks." Sam grimaced at the compliment and the way Sha're was admiring her features, but kept Daniel's reminder about her different upbringing in mind. Beauty seemed to be one of the few things that set a woman apart on Abydos, which made her remark understandable. It also brought to mind Klorel's – or Skaara's – fascination with her own appearance, but she shook off the memory and focused on the woman in front of her. "You know why I've been sent here – why it's important that we discuss what information you might have retained from Amaunet?"

"Yes."

"I know this will be difficult," she said as Sha're visibly steeled herself. "And I can show you some techniques to help you focus on the necessary memories, rather than… the other ones."

Sha're's dark gaze locked onto hers and she looked a little relieved. "Daniel said you are very wise and kind."

She laid her wrist on her right knee, palm facing upwards, and looked from Sha're to her hand and back again. Sha're reached for her hesitantly and Sam gave her an encouraging smile and squeezed the woman's hand. "Where would you like to begin?"


	29. Chapter 29

**Abydos**   
**Milky Way Galaxy**   
**January 28, 2000**

The temple was pleasantly cool after a long afternoon under the blazing sun and Jack silently congratulated himself on his idea as he sat down on his bedroll. He continued unpacking the wrapped snacks, meat, bread and drinks Tobay had given him and set them out on the floor.

Sam was a few feet away, still admiring the cartouche on the temple walls. She'd grabbed one of the torches from the wall and held it up as she studied the numerous gate addresses, the flames adding a shimmer to the gold. "This is amazing, Jack."

He felt inordinately proud of being responsible for putting that look of wonder on her face and didn't even try to hide his pleased smile. "Thought you might like it."

"I knew of its existence and Catherine once managed to get me a still from one of the videos back at the Xenophysics Department, but I had no idea how impressive it was." She paused, head tilted back to look all the way up to where the walls neared the ceiling. After a moment, she turned to face him and shrugged, "Colonel Kennedy didn't want to grant me access to it since it wasn't my area of expertise."

"Catherine may have told me that once."

If anything, Sam beamed even brighter at him. "And you remembered."

He shrugged although he was pretty proud of himself for surprising her with it. "I figured you'd like to see it in person and now that we're here…"

"Ah, so that's why you asked me to come with you for the scheduled check-in," she said, making her way over to him.

"Actually, I needed someone to watch my six and since Daniel was off with Sha're and Teal'c's still in talks with Kasuf, that left you."

She rolled her eyes at him and put her torch back where she'd found it, before she sat down next to him on the bedroll. "Well, you brought food, so I guess I can't complain."

"And drinks."

"Drinks?"

He smirked when she sniffed one of the cups. "Moonshine."

She smiled wickedly right before downing the stuff, coughing only once after. "Strong stuff. Daniel's influence, I take it?"

"Your guess is as good as mine."

"We're not supposed to drink on duty."

He looked from her to the empty cup in her hand and raised his brows. "A bit late for that now, don't you think?"

She giggled softly and set the cup away, reaching for some bread instead. "Well, it would have been rude to turn it down after all the care Tobay took to make you a picnic basket."

"You saw that, eh?"

"You bet," she said, smirking at his abashed look. "I thought it was cute."

Oh well, if it scored him brownie points then who was he to complain? "How's the food?"

She was chewing on some bread and nodded in approval. After a few seconds she leaned into him a little and sighed. "This is kinda nice."

"I figured we could both use a break."

The words had barely left his mouth or she was yawning. "I suppose so, yeah."

He wrapped his arm around her shoulders and tugged her a little closer. On the surface she looked fine, a little tired maybe. But he knew the day's events had taken a heavy toll on her. What he'd heard from Skaara, and what he saw in her eyes after her conversation with Sha're, was better left to be dealt with just once - at the debriefing with General Hammond. This time, their time, just the two of them together, was an opportunity to decompress from what she'd had to do.

"I'm… okay, though," she said, as if sensing his mood. "I just wish we could go home already."

"I know." He rested his cheek on her head, nuzzling her hair. She smelled like sunshine and heat and when he closed his eyes he could pretend they'd spent a hot summer day with Ife at the lake at his cabin, instead of a sandy planet where she had to face one of her nightmares.

Sam leaned into him more fully, sighing contentedly. One of her hands rested on his thigh, while using her other hand to offer him some bread. She smiled when he took it straight from her hand and licked her fingers as he munched on the food.

They weren't home – the weapons they'd put aside but within arm's reach were another obvious reminder – but they'd found a secluded spot where they could unwind and forget about everything they'd heard that day. And perhaps it was better that they didn't bring their current moods home to their daughter.

"I hope Ife settled in with the Dixons all right," Sam mused aloud, once again in-sync with his own thoughts. "This is the first time she's staying with them overnight."

"She'll be fine." He paused and briefly wondered if she was broaching the subject for his benefit since she, better than anyone, knew how easily Ife adapted to different surroundings. It was, quite literally, the story of their little girl's life. Or at least the majority of it, until she came to Earth. "She has them wrapped around her little finger."

Sam smothered a laugh against his shoulder. "Shelly told me that Dixon figured babysitting Ife would remind her why three kids was enough, but it's had the opposite effect on her."

He quirked a smile, easily imagining Dixon's reaction. The guy talked a good game but it was obvious he loved his family – and Jack wouldn't be surprised if he gave in to his wife's wish. "Well, if a fourth one is coming then maybe it's time we start looking into a different arrangement."

"Like what?"

He shrugged when she caught his eye. "Pre-K? If I'm gonna be reassed then there wouldn't be any need for last minute babysitting arrangements anyway. I'll probably work office hours or something."

She snorted at the face he made and patted his leg in a "there, there" gesture. "Training recruits would still take you off-world on occasion. How else would you prepare them for what they could encounter in this line of work?"

"Maybe. But no more off-world missions on a regular basis."

"Oh!" Sam suddenly sat up straight and turned more fully towards him. "I completely forgot to ask about your conversation with General Hammond."

He shrugged dismissively, knowing she had a lot on her plate. If the conversation with Hammond had gone bad, perhaps he'd have told her sooner but the General hadn't seemed all that surprised – or upset. Jack had figured he'd tell Sam later, when they were back home. "Well, he wasn't happy to hear I wanted to give up SG-1, but he seemed to understand. Hell, I think he's been expecting it for a while now."

Her eyes widened slightly, as if surprised. "Yeah, what did he say?"

"Oh, you know, the usual. That I still have some years in the field left, if I'm really sure about this… yada yada. All the things he's supposed to ask as base commander. I got the feeling he approved of my decision though."

"Wow. I know you said he probably wouldn't stand in your way, but I wasn't expecting his approval either."

Jack smiled at the puzzled look on her face and had to remind himself she didn't know Hammond as well as he did. "He's a family man, Sam. He gets it."

"So, he doesn't mind?"

"Frankly, I think he was just relieved I didn't want to retire."

"Well, you're an integral part of the Program and you've been there the longest. He wouldn't be able to sell your retirement to the brass," she said, even managing to sound completely unbiased.

Jack made a face. He was just as replaceable as the next airman. Geniuses like Sam and Daniel were the important ones. "I don't know about that-"

Sam's expression briefly turned into one of exasperation and she placed a hand on his arm. "You have the most experience on missions, Jack. Besides, you've been General Hammond's 2IC for nearly four years. The brass wouldn't let you retire easily."

"Maybe you're right," he conceded, although he wasn't as convinced as she was. "Either way, the brass still has to approve the training program I proposed to Hammond."

"What did he think?"

"Said he could see the merit of specific training programs for recruits, especially if we widen the net and include the geeks and civilians as well."

She nodded enthusiastically, "That would be perfect. And the ones who'll be needed on SG teams or long-term scientific missions will require off-world training by you as well. It'd definitely keep you busy."

He smirked and squeezed her hand. "Not just me. If I'm gonna be training geeks, I'm gonna need some help. And Hammond also suggested Daniel could come in for lectures every now and then to stay involved with the Program. Sort of an ambassador to Earth for the Abydonians. Same with Teal'c, if he decides to join the Rebel Jaffa."

"That's great. Sounds like you've given this a lot more thought recently."

"Maybe a little," he admitted.

Smiling, she reached for the bread and tore off a new piece. "Speaking of Teal'c, do you have any idea how much longer he'll be?"

Jack frowned and checked his watch. "Nope. But he's not much of talker, so I'm willing to bet he'll radio us within the hour. Depending on the weather and his transport, we might be able to leave today. We'll swing by Bra'tac and the Rebel Jaffa to see how they're doing and then we'll gate back to the SGC."

"Sounds good to me."

* * *

**Stargate Command**   
**Colorado Springs, CO**   
**February 3, 2000**

Sam's gaze was drawn to Jack's fingers as he fiddled with a smooth, oblong piece she'd removed from an alien device. So far, the device had seemed inactive but it was alien technology, so one could never be sure. Jack simply kept toying with it, while he told her about Daniel and Teal'c's reaction to his decision – he'd told them over breakfast in the commissary.

"Well, you know I already sort of hinted at it to Daniel when we were on Abydos," Jack shrugged, turning the piece over in his hands. "Did I tell you he was worried about breaking up the team when he came by the house a couple of weeks ago?"

"When he was struggling with balancing his commitments here on Earth and his family on Abydos?"

He nodded and tossed the oblong piece from hand to hand. "Yeah. This morning he said he felt I wouldn't be far behind after that conversation and I think now he's just relieved that he's not the one solely responsible for breaking up the team."

She winced when he almost dropped the piece of tech and knocked some of her tools off the table with his elbow in his rescue attempt. "Well," she said, grabbing his hands to still them, "it's only natural for all of you to move on. That's not unusual in the Air Force and on top of that you've all gone through a lot in the past four years."

"That's pretty much what Teal'c also said, except less… Teal'c." Jack frowned at his own choice of words and then pouted when she took the piece of technology from him. "He offered his felicitations on our union and great fortune to my newest venture."

"Did he say what he's going to do now?"

He watched her as she put the alien tech on a side table, far away from him. "He said he's gonna talk to Bra'tac, so I think that means he'll be joining your Rebel pals."

Raising a brow, she bent down and started collecting the tools on the floor. She had no doubts that Bra'tac would welcome Teal'c with open arms. The same went for the other rebels who'd joined Bra'tac's cause. They all respected Teal'c for being the first to go against the Goa'uld and join the _Tau'ri_. Not to mention that Teal'c's family had been spending a lot of time with the Rebel Jaffa as well. "I guess we'll know soon enough."

"Any idea when the old coot is gonna go back to the Rebels?"

She gave Jack a reproving look, although she knew he didn't really mean it – he respected Bra'tac a lot. "He's mostly been in meetings with the General and off-world representatives, I've only spoken with him a few times."

"Oh," he tilted his head, looking at her with those warm brown eyes of his, "that's too bad."

They'd left Abydos with Teal'c to say hi to the Rebels and Bra'tac had invited himself along back to the SGC in that way he had, to represent the Rebel Jaffa in negotiations and treaties. Sam had hoped that would give her and Bra'tac some time to catch up as well, but so far they'd both been busy and only spoken a few times, usually over a meal.

"Well, maybe-"

A bright white light enveloped Jack and he disappeared mid-sentence. The initial panic Sam felt rising in her throat was pushed back when she realized this had happened before when Thor had visited Earth. Still, she jogged over to the alarm and hit the big red button, wincing as the klaxons went off throughout the base. Not even five seconds later her phone rang and she requested to be put through to General Hammond to explain what had just happened.

Hammond took over and told her to stay put. She was too distracted to work and had been twiddling her thumbs for over half an hour when her presence was requested in the briefing room over the intercom. "Finally," she muttered.

Everyone was already present in the briefing room, including Jack who was talking to Thor. Relief washed over her at the sight of him looking unharmed and she took a deep breath before entering the room. Bra'tac caught her eye and 'hm'ed at her as he indicated the vacant seat next to him. After glancing at General Hammond, who nodded in approval, she took the seat next to her old friend and left of Catherine.

The General was just asking everyone to take a seat when Daniel came rushing into the briefing room, muttering apologies under his breath. Teal'c simply nodded in acknowledgment but she noticed the brief look of mild annoyance Jack gave him – Daniel just smiled in return – and could easily imagine Jack chewing out a recruit for being late.

"Thank you everyone for coming," General Hammond said, looking around the table from Catherine and the members of SG-1 to Bra'tac and Thor. "Supreme Commander Thor is joining us today to lay out his plan for the attack on the System Lords. I know Colonel O'Neill has officially requested to step down from command of SG-1 and Doctor Jackson and Teal'c have already approached me with similar requests this morning, but I think you all deserve to be included in this mission."

Sam caught Jack's gaze at the mention of his name and shared a small smile with him. There was not a hint of regret over his decision to leave the field, for which she was glad. She didn't want it to be a sacrifice he made for her and Ife, because she knew he'd made plenty of sacrifices in his life and deserved more. But it seemed he was satisfied with the choice he'd made, almost like a weight had been lifted off him since making a decision. And it didn't surprise her at all that Daniel and Teal'c had followed his lead, despite Jack not being able to finish telling her about his conversation with the two men.

She listened attentively to Thor's briefing which basically came down to tracking down the System Lords from the locations the SGC and Rebel Jaffa had provided and striking them simultaneously. It was a simple yet effective plan, if all went well. Bra'tac chimed in a few times to explain how he and his fellow Jaffa had estimated or tracked down the whereabouts of certain System Lords, while Daniel and Catherine gave some background information about the System Lords and Jack and Teal'c put in their two cents on strategy.

"Master Bra'tac," Thor said, turning towards the Jaffa, "the Asgard would welcome the opportunity to collaborate with the Rebel Jaffa on this mission as well. Your experience with the System Lords could prove quite beneficial."

"Indeed," Bra'tac said, nodding his head in acknowledgment. "The _Reenlokia_ can spare ten ships to strike at once, hm?"

Thor's eyes narrowed slightly. "We cannot. The Asgard High Council has authorized me to use five of our vessels, all of which are equipped with hyperdrive engines to cross this galaxy within several human hours. We have selected several targets within close distance of each other, so that the vessels may move from one target to the other without them realizing their fellow System Lord has fallen."

Sam glanced to her right and could read the skepticism in the way Bra'tac tilted his head, but she'd been aboard one of the Asgard ships and knew what it was capable of. Besides, the Asgard would do themselves no favors by misjudging the situation and having the System Lords turn against them – she'd heard about the Protected Planets Treaty and its conditions. "Well, it's not like the System Lords are in constant communication with each other, so even if it would take an hour or two to strike again they probably wouldn't find out what happened to the others."

"We'll just have to time it well," Jack said lightly, shrugging.

"That is," Daniel said, looking hopeful, "if the Supreme Commander would kindly give us permission to be included in the mission."

"Sure he will! Right, Thor, buddy?"

Thor turned to Jack and inclined his head. "We owe the humans of Earth a great deal of gratitude for your aid in defeating the Replicators. You are most welcome to participate in the destruction of the System Lords."

Jack clasped his hands and rubbed them in glee, making Sam smile. "Great, that's settled then. Right, Sir?"

"It would only be fitting for SG-1's final mission," General Hammond said.

"Master Bra'tac is also invited to join us, naturally."

The Jaffa nodded, "I would be honored, Supreme Commander Thor."

"And you're certain that by eliminating the System Lords the threat the Goa'uld pose will be gone, Supreme Commander?" Catherine asked, voicing a question that was undoubtedly on other people's minds as well.

"The Goa'uld weakness is their feudal nature. Although they will reluctantly unite to defend against outside threats, they battle among themselves for supreme domination. By eliminating the ruling class in the Goa'uld hierarchy, the remaining Goa'uld will start to fight each other for power. It is not in their nature to compromise and collaborate at first, only when there are no other options available to them will they seek out a tentative peace agreement," Thor explained.

Sam had to agree, both from what she'd experienced herself while pretending to be a host as well as from Herit's memories. "It would take them years at the earliest to come to such an agreement. By then, their armies will be down to their last twenty per cent or so."

Bra'tac 'hm'ed at her before turning to the others, "The Rebel Jaffa will hunt down the most powerful Goa'uld who remain after the attack to make this even more difficult."

"And we will support you in whatever way we can," General Hammond said.

"The Tollan and Nox, our allies, have agreed to research alternatives for your reliance on Goa'uld symbiotes should we succeed in ridding the galaxy of the Goa'uld."

Daniel jumped in at Thor's statement, before either Jaffa present could even respond. "But in a way that would not make the Rebel Jaffa reliant on them, right? Otherwise it would feel like they're trading one master for another."

"The _Tau'ri_ is correct," Bra'tac said, narrowing his eyes. "We will capture the Queens once the System Lords have fallen but depending on our numbers and their ability to spawn, they might only sustain the next few generations of Free Jaffa."

Perhaps less, Sam thought, if Bra'tac was comparing it to their current need for symbiotes – no feuding gods meant longer lifespans, after all. But she figured that would be a subject for another time. Right now, she was itching to get aboard Thor's ship and watch as the System Lords got blown up.

"Such was our understanding as well," Thor said diplomatically.

"Well," General Hammond said quickly, "if that was all, then I'd suggest we start preparing."

Sam was only listening with half an ear as he inquired what the two alien leaders needed before they departed, her focus on Jack who was looking positively giddy. She figured that was simply the prospect of kicking Goa'uld ass, since he'd seemed content with his decision to retire from the field at the start of the briefing.

After the General dismissed them, Thor called out for Sam before she left the briefing room. "Yes, Thor?"

"Would you like to join us, Major Carter? As you know, Asgard vessels are spacious enough to accommodate another human and I believe that out of all at Stargate Command, you have suffered the most at the hands of the Goa'uld."

"Oh," she said, surprised. Not that the idea hadn't crossed her mind but General Hammond had only mentioned SG-1 and there was the question of Ife… "I would have to ask permission-"

Thor blinked at her. "I believe General Hammond would not oppose my proposal."

No, of course he wouldn't deny the Supreme Commander of the Asgard's simple request. But, "I also have to discuss it with Jack, er Colonel O'Neill."

"For the sake of your offspring," he concluded. "I understand. I shall await your decision."

She found Jack in the gear-up room and the words had barely left her mouth or he told her yes. "I don't think we'd be in any danger," he said. "I mean, it's Thor. You've been aboard his ship. Do you think the System Lords would be able to damage it?"

It was an interesting scenario. She was familiar with both types of vessels, having been aboard them but also having the technical knowledge about their features – for as far as she could understand them. It took her a moment to run the scenarios in her mind, but she quickly shook her head. "Even if one or more of the System Lords would see the attack coming, they'd only be able to fire once, maybe twice. Regardless of where they'd strike, they wouldn't do any serious damage to an Asgard vessel. Their shields are too advanced."

"Well, there you have it!" Jack clasped his hands and rubbed them together, smirking. "Gear up, Sam. I'll talk to Hammond."

By the time she entered the gate room, everything had been taken care of. She felt a little ridiculous with her gear considering they'd most likely only be sitting around while the Asgard executed their plan. Almost like she was all dressed up with nowhere to go. But at least the guys looked the same, except for Bra'tac – who was looking at her oddly as he took in her appearance. She briefly wondered if he was comparing her with the woman his Jaffa found that fateful day, but quickly shook it off when General Hammond gave his send off words.

Seconds later, white light enveloped them and they were transported to Thor's ship. Last time, she'd used a stargate to reach Thor's ship, but the beaming didn't feel dissimilar to what she recalled from the beam from Thor's Hammer.

Thor brought them to the control room, where four other screens had subspace video links with other Asgard. They looked just like Thor. It was a little disturbing.

"Thor," Jack said, eyeing the other Asgard on the screens. "Why don't you introduce us to your friends?"

"Penegal will attack the bases of operations of the System Lords Olokun and Svarog," Thor said, indicating the Asgard on the first screen. "Freyr will target Kali and Morrigan."

The second Asgard nodded in agreement. "I will eliminate Kali first."

The Asgard on the third screen spoke up. "I am Kvasir. The System Lords Yu and Sokar will die at my hands."

"The Valhalla is our fastest vessel. Therefore, Aegir will eliminate Bastet and Ba'al."

"Per your instructions, Master Bra'tac, I will strike Ba'al's base of operations first," Aegir said.

The Jaffa inclined his head. "He is cunning and will do what he can to avoid death."

Sam had never run into him, but she'd heard the stories. Apparently, he was fond of knives and acid, and didn't mind compromising to save himself.

"So, that leaves us Cronus and Heru'ur, right?"

"It does, O'Neill," Thor said. "We will now enter hyperspace and arrive at our designation in thirty-six of your minutes."

Sam wondered if anyone had made any special requests or if they just happened to get those two System Lords. She looked over to the guys, but couldn't read them. Teal'c looked as stoic as ever and Daniel was simply anxious. Bra'tac appeared to be eyeing the Asgard and their control systems warily – fear of the _Reenlokia_ was deeply ingrained in Jaffa from a young age and apparently not even Bra'tac was immune to it.

Jack called everyone together and suggested they dump their packs in one of the rooms. They'd keep their weapons just in case, but no one was expecting anything to go wrong so they probably wouldn't even need them.

"I have no gear to stow," Bra'tac said, leaning on his staff weapon. "I will remain here. With Supreme Commander Thor."

"T?"

Teal'c acknowledged Jack's silent order and handed him his pack. "I will stay also."

Daniel stopped and turned back to Thor. "Um, can we still communicate with the other Asgard while we're in hyperspace?"

"You can, Doctor Jackson," Penegal replied instead.

"Oh! I didn't realize…" he trailed off. "Um, Jack is it okay if I stay here? I'd like to find out more about similarities and differences with Norse mythology so that-"

Jack made a face and interrupted him, "Yeah, sure. Go ahead. Can you take his pack, Sam?"

She helped Daniel take his pack off and let it drop to the floor. The damn thing was too heavy to carry in combination with her own, so she simply grabbed hold of one of the straps and dragged it along over the smooth floor of the ship.

"This can be our store room," Jack said after a minute or two of walking the corridors and opening a door. It was completely bare, strangely enough.

"Who decided which Asgard would take out which System Lord?" She asked, after dumping both packs in a corner.

He ran a hand through his hair before shaking his head. "I don't know. Bra'tac and Teal'c made some suggestions based on distance and reputation, though. Why?"

Reaching out, Sam closed the door behind them, just in case someone would overhear. His eyebrows rose at the gesture, even though she could tell his mind had already been trying to figure out why she'd asked the question in the first place. "Well, you know about Heru'ur's war with Apophis, right?"

"Yeah, he tried to get his hands on Sha're's baby."

"And ended up with Amaunet after Apophis was killed," she reminded him.

He visible shuddered at the implication of that. "Well, if you're asking if Daniel requested Heru'ur, then the answer is no. As far as I'm aware, anyway."

Sam shared in his disgust, especially after her conversation with Sha're. Taking a deep breath, she tried to focus on the situation at hand. "What do you know about Cronus?"

"Uh, he's top dog now that Ra and Apophis are dead." He paused and scrubbed a hand over his face, groaning. "And he killed Teal'c's father."

"Do you still think it's a coincidence?"

He sighed and leaned back against the wall, looking pained. "No, I guess not."

"I suppose a case of priorities could be made, but…"

"No, you're right," he said. "How did you know about Teal'c's father?"

Grimacing, she tapped the side of her head. "Herit. Apophis knew, so…"

Jack pushed off the wall and grabbed her hand in silent support. "Of course. Sorry, I wasn't thinking."

"It's okay."

"No, it's not," he said, reaching up to push a lock of hair behind her ear. His fingers lingered on her cheek and then he surprised her by pressing a quick kiss to her forehead, before stepping back and turning back into Colonel O'Neill. "But that's the way it is. We should go see if everything's okay. Bra'tac didn't seem too pleased with all those Asgard."

In the control room everyone was just as they'd left him, except Daniel was happily chatting with one of the Asgard about Norse mythology and Asgard history. She found it hard to believe Daniel had requested they'd take care of Heru'ur, but it was possible the two Jaffa had taken it on themselves to arrange it. During her time off-world with Bra'tac she'd learned a lot about their culture, including their need for revenge.

Jack went over to Thor and grabbed one of the control stones, tossing it from hand to hand. "So, this plan of yours… we can just fire from orbit, right? I mean, there's no need to actually land or go to the planets – or ships – they're hiding at, right?"

"A well-aimed attack from orbit on a Goa'uld _ha'tak_ or surface-based structure would cause enough damage to kill the System Lord."

"Perhaps it would be wise to ensure the Goa'uld has perished in person, by entering the compound or vessel," Bra'tac said.

Jack caught her gaze and she immediately knew what he was thinking, especially when Teal'c agreed with Bra'tac. "Thor?"

"Such measures will not be necessary, Master Bra'tac. Our sensors can differentiate between humans, Jaffa and Goa'uld and will allow us to track the life signatures they emit from great distance."

Sam thought Bra'tac actually looked a little dismayed at that, but he nodded anyway. The prospect of ridding the galaxy of all Goa'uld would have to be enough. "So, basically all we have to do is wait?"

"Indeed, Major Carter."

"So, we'll kill the ten remaining System Lords…and then what?"

Bra'tac turned to Daniel, quirking a brow. "Moac is awaiting my confirmation of their deaths. Then he will lead two groups of Rebel Jaffa to attack the Goa'uld Camulus and Amaterasu. They are next in line to attain the rank of System Lord, according to information we have obtained."

Aegir spoke next, "Regrettably, the Asgard cannot remain in this galaxy. The Replicators may have been defeated but they left much chaos and destruction behind. Once we have helped eliminate the System Lords, it is up to you to reach peace within this galaxy."

"And we will," Jack said optimistically. "Right?"

"Indeed, O'Neill," Teal'c said.

The first screen on the wall briefly turned black before Penegal reappeared. "I have arrived at the agreed upon location, Supreme Commander."

The other Asgard started giving sit reps to Thor and twenty minutes later, everyone was in place. The planet was huge underneath them but the Asgard technology could easily zoom in and they located Heru'ur's headquarters right away. There were a handful of Goa'uld, but with Bra'tac's experience they could easily guess the layout of the compound and thereby deduce who was which rank. Heru'ur was in the sarcophagus.

"I have input the coordinates of Cronus' last known location," Thor reported. "The ship will wait two of your minutes to scan the surface before automatically entering hyperspace to transport us to Cronus."

"Everyone ready?" Jack asked, as he stepped up to Daniel.

Thor conferred with his fellow Asgard and not even three seconds later, he initiated an attack on Heru'ur. The screen that had zoomed in on the palace briefly showed two impacts before it filled with smoke and they couldn't discern anything.

Jack had placed a hand on Daniel's shoulder, squeezing gently. "Sit rep, Thor?"

"Sensors are activated and scanning, O'Neill."

Sam turned to her left to follow Thor's progress. He had a split screen, one showing the before life signs of the compound and the second was still scanning. Slowly but surely, small blips appeared on the second part. "What does that mean?"

Thor looked up at her and blinked his large eyes. "That they have perished. Heru'ur is no more."

"Olokun has been eliminated," Penegal reported mere seconds later.

Sam felt a familiar tingle – naquadah – run through her body as she ship's engine started up again and they entered hyperspace even before Freyr could report Kali's death.

"Ba'al's base of operations has been eliminated," Aegir said.

"Lord Yu was also in his sarcophagus at the time of my attack," Kvasir reported. "He is no more."

"I have arrived at the planet where Svarog's _ha'tak_ is currently stationed. I will investigate whether he is present," Penegal said.

It only took ten minutes in hyperspace to reach Cronus' headquarters and within a minute, Thor had confirmed he was present. This time, they were waiting for Kvasir, Freyr and Aegir to get into place before attacking.

Jack gave Daniel one last encouraging squeeze, before walking over to Teal'c. "You gonna be okay, T?"

"Indeed I will."

"The destruction of Cronus holds specific meaning for you, Teal'c?"

The Jaffa inclined his head at Thor's inquiry. "He is responsible for murdering my father."

Sam wasn't sure if Asgard even had fathers – they apparently cloned themselves because they had become incapable of sexual reproduction – and whether Thor understood the concept of family relationships, but he surprised them all.

"Perhaps, you would like to initiate the attack?"

Even Teal'c looked caught off-guard. "I would be grateful for the opportunity, Supreme Commander Thor."

Aegir's screen briefly flashed black while Thor was showing Teal'c how to pull the trigger, so to speak. "Bastet's vessel is within my sights."

"Supreme Commander, I have arrived at Delmak," Kvasir reported.

"In ten human minutes I will be in place to eliminate Morrigan," Freyr said.

Sam felt Jack's eyes on her and when she turned around, she noticed he was standing next to Bra'tac who still hadn't moved since they arrived. She took a step closer but upon realizing she could overhear their conversation – Jack was asking him if hitting the button would be enough for Teal'c – she took a few more steps backwards. If Jack wanted to tell her about the conversation afterwards, he would. But she wasn't going to eavesdrop.

"You know," Daniel said from where he was watching space fly by, "I thought it'd feel different. That _I_ would feel different once Heru'ur was dead. But I still feel the same as this morning, even though there are now five System Lords less."

She had no idea to whom his words were addressed, but she knew they were still finding their feet in this new friendship or theirs – it wasn't her place to offer comfort. Luckily, Jack knew exactly what to do, because he went over to his friend and took him out into the corridor for a private conversation.

Freyr arrived at his location shortly before Daniel and Jack rejoined them. "I am ready, Supreme Commander."

Thor looked up at Teal'c with his large black eyes. "Teal'c?"

The Jaffa exchanged a long and meaningful look with Bra'tac, before he started moving the stones as instructed. The explosion seemed minimal on the screen but after scanning the palace, the scale of devastation turned out to be great. Cronus was dead, as were all of his present Jaffa and even the human slaves.

Penegal and Freyr were quick to report their success, and Aegir followed shortly thereafter.

It took Kvasir two full minutes to give a sit rep. "The planet Delmak has been destroyed, Supreme Commander. However, the resulting explosion has started a chain reaction in its moon, Netu. I fear the ensuing shock wave will cast my ship deeper into the galaxy. My engine has been damaged by the radiation from the explosion. A hyperdrive window can be opened, but in doing so I will risk being redirected if the shockwave affects the window."

The other three Asgard on the screens looked mildly panicked and Sam could tell Thor was also worried. They were making soft screeching and clicking noises and it took her a moment to realize that was probably their native language. Sam looked to Jack and could tell he was concerned for his friend.

"Sam?"

She went over to him and sighed. "Their technology goes way above my head, but from what I gathered Kvasir thinks that the exploding moon will catch the tail-end of his hyperdrive window. A window isn't made to withstand such power, so will most likely deform. As far as I know, no human or Goa'uld technology could predict where he'd end up – and if he'd even survive the trip."

It felt like forever until the Asgard quieted down a little. Suddenly, all four screens turned black before retracting into the wall.

"Thor, buddy? Everything okay?"

"Kvasir's theory was correct," Thor said solemnly.

Sam frowned. He sounded awfully resigned. "Do you have a way to predict whether his ship would come out the other side intact and if so, where?"

The alien shook his head. "We do not, Major Carter."

"So, what's he gonna do?"

"We cannot risk his knowledge falling into the wrong hands," Thor said. "There should be enough time for him to complete an upload of his consciousness to the ship's computer and transmit it to me."

Daniel was the first one who processed that tidbit of information. "You mean, he's creating a back-up of… himself?"

"Of course!" Sam exclaimed. "You use cloned bodies and the only way to preserve one's mind would be to make a computer-like database that can store everything a person – or, Asgard, as the case may be – knows and is."

Thor blinked up at her. "That is indeed a simplified explanation. Once I have received the transmission, I will return you to Earth."

Jack made a face. "And then you're just going to make Kvasir a new body when you get home?"

"It is the only way we, as a race, can survive, O'Neill."

"That's just… weird," he muttered under his breath.

The console beeped before Thor could make a comment and he moved as fast as his little legs could take. "Ah," he said, triumphantly. "I have received Kvasir's transmission and I shall set a course for Earth now."

After they'd entered hyperspace again, Jack came over to her and bumped her shoulder with his. "It's not just me, right? That _is_ weird?"

"It is," she said, smiling at the look on his face. "But think of it like this: if they couldn't do this, then we would have lost a good man today. Or Asgard."

"I suppose that's one way of looking at it," he said. "I can't wait to see the look on Hammond's face when I'm going to let you explain this to him."

Sam rolled her eyes and playfully bumped his shoulder again. "I'm not sure he'll hear anything beyond the fact that we've just witnessed the elimination of the ten remaining System Lords."

Jack smiled at her, but then it turned into a frown. "Yeah… that was kinda anticlimactic, wasn't it?"

"It was."

"Indeed," both Jaffa affirmed.


	30. Chapter 30

**Garden of the Gods**  
**Colorado Springs, CO** **  
** **February 6, 2000**

Just a little over a month ago they'd come up here as a family for the first time, but it felt like a lot more time had passed since then. Sam took a deep breath of the cool mountain air and snuggled deeper into her scarf. It wasn't freezing quite yet but it was close and she hadn't gotten any better at handling the cold since their last visit. Ife and Jack didn't seem bothered by the chill at all, neither of them wearing scarves but it was possible that chasing after each other amidst the picnic tables was keeping them warm. Sam smiled when he swung their little girl around and Ife giggled uninhibitedly.

Long gone were the times when Ife had to remain quiet for fear of being caught by the wrong people and Sam just couldn't look away from the look of pure joy on Ife's face. Jack was grinning and it warmed her heart to see him so happy. The man was born to be a father and she couldn't find the words to describe what it felt like to be the one giving him a second chance at fatherhood.

Jack hugged Ife to his chest, both of them trying to catch their breath in between laughter, and beckoned her over. "Ready, Sam?"

She looked down at the table in front of her and quickly threw the last of their trash in a bag. Then, she got up and tossed the bag in one of the bins a few feet ahead, before making her way over to the two most important people in her life. "Yeah sure, you betcha," she said, winking at him while wrapping an arm around his waist.

"Going home?" Ife craned her neck to look at her after Jack shifted her to his other hip and pouted a little, as if she didn't want the fun to end.

"Yeah, we are, sweetie."

Jack slung his free arm around Sam's shoulders and pulled her into his side, while simultaneously pressing a kiss to Ife's temple. "When we get home we can have some hot cocoa before it's time for your nap, munchkin."

Ife seemed to accept that and rested her head against his shoulder, wrapping her arms around his neck.

"I was thinking," Sam said as they walked down the trail, "that maybe we should make visiting here a monthly thing."

"I'd like that."

She looked up to find his dark gaze on her, his eyes warm and soft. She'd briefly wondered if he would be okay with that considering the place held special memories of him and Charlie, but one look at his face told her all she needed to know. "Yeah?"

He smiled at her, dimples and all, his grip on her tightening momentarily, "Yeah. It'll be good for Ife and hell, I'm gonna need the exercise now that I'm out of the field."

Somehow, she doubted it. He'd probably end up chasing recruits in his training scenarios – he wasn't one to sit still, after all.

"Maybe," he said softly, "Ife can become a Junior Ranger in a few years."

Her breath hitched and she snuggled a little closer, burying her nose in the crook of his shoulder and pressing a soft kiss against his neck. "I'm sure she'll like that."

Their walking made it impossible to stay pressed up together and after a moment he pulled slightly back, a small smile playing around his lips. "And hey," he said lightly, "just think how much less awkward it's going to be calling this the Garden of the Gods with the Goa'uld gone."

"They're not all gone," she replied, recognizing his need to change the subject and letting him. "Yet."

"Yet." He parroted. "Well, I'm pretty sure Bra'tac and his Rebel pals will take care of the rest of them soon enough."

Sam nodded, although she wasn't sure she agreed with the plan. Sure, the Jaffa were champing at the bit to get rid of all the Goa'uld after seeing how easily the Asgard destroyed the System Lords, but they still needed symbiotes to survive. "Hopefully, Teal'c and Bra'tac can temper them a bit until the Nox and Tollan can find a substitute for their need for symbiotes."

Jack grimaced at the mention of the symbiotes, never having been a fan. "I suppose there's that."

She hmmed noncommittally and reached out to caress Ife's cheek after realizing their daughter had fallen asleep in Jack's arms. "Guess our little hike really wore her out."

"Good thing the truck isn't that far away."

They arrived at the parking lot a few minutes later and Sam unlocked the truck so that he could place Ife in her car seat while she put their backpack away. When she rounded the vehicle to reach the passenger side Jack just finished strapping Ife in and turned around to face her, smirking. Reaching out, he tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and let his fingers linger on her cheek.

Sam closed her eyes at the touch and leaned into his hand as he moved to cup her cheek. The warmth of his palm spread through her body and suddenly she no longer felt cold. He tugged her a little closer with his free hand on her hip and she readily fell into his embrace, wrapping her arms around him.

"So, today was fun," he muttered into her hair.

Smiling, she tilted her head back to look at him. "It was."

He smirked, "Now that Hammond's approved my request to transfer out of the field, we'll have more time to do stuff together as a family. I mean, neither of us will be working nine to five, but at least there won't be regular off-world missions for me."

"You'll probably be flying a desk for the next few weeks."

"Yeah, until the training program is definitive I'll just be haunting the base corridors or something."

She snuggled a little closer and voiced an idea that had been on her mind since talking to her brother a while back. "I was thinking, with my Dad's birthday coming up, maybe we could take some leave and go to Arlington to pay our respects. Mark could join us there and I could finally introduce you."

Jack quirked a brow, "Ooh, meeting the family? Guess things are really getting serious now."

"Funny."

"I'm just kidding," he said, squeezing her hip. "I'd love to go."

Sam reached up and pressed her lips to his, smiling into the kiss. "Thank you."

The contact was light at first but then he slid a hand in her hair and exerted a little more pressure on her lips. She opened her mouth, blood rushing through her veins as their lips moved against each other. A moan escaped her when he traced his tongue along the seam of her mouth, silently requesting entry. Desire bolted down to her core as he took his time exploring her mouth and she tightened her grip on his coat. Tongues tangled together, lips glided wetly against each other and soon they were running out of breath.

"Maybe," Jack said, panting as they broke apart, "we should follow our daughter's example and take a nap of our own when we get home."

"Maybe," Sam smirked and took a step back, creating more space between their bodies, "we shouldn't waste our time sleeping."

He wiped his fingers over his mouth, eyes nearly black. "Maybe we should stop wasting time altogether and get the hell home already."

She chuckled as he nearly ran to the driver's side of the truck and pulled open the passenger door to get herself settled. "That sounds like a plan."

* * *

**Bar and Grill Downtown**  
**Colorado Springs, CO** **  
** **February 11, 2000**

The place was packed with military and civilians, all from the SGC, and the occasional alien. Jack was surprised at the turnout but Hammond had reassured him there were still plenty of people on base in case of emergency. With the defeat of the System Lords, the chance of an attack by the Goa'uld was unlikely, though. The aliens' feudal system was on the brink of collapsing with all the major players gone and their power-hungry nature was rearing its ugly head. According to the latest reports from Bra'tac's rebel pals the Goa'uld were in a disarray, fighting and killing each other while a lot of their Jaffa were starting to question their godhood, with some turning towards the Rebel Jaffa already.

Jack figured that was good enough reason for a party but everyone at the SGC had insisted on a disbandment party to celebrate SG-1's accomplishments instead. He didn't really like being in the limelight but… "Didn't you promise there'd be cake?"

"I did," Sam said, grinning. "And there is."

He peered around, gaze moving over the crowd but there was no sign of a cake. There were plenty of friendly faces though, people he'd worked, fought and died with over the past four years. And after everything, they were all still here – and the System Lords had been blown to oblivion. He let his eyes settle on Sam, his heart beating a little faster over the way she was looking at him and he found he was most grateful that she was still there, after everything she had gone through. Who'd have thought this was where they'd end up two and a half years ago? Standing side by side in another bar and grill, their little girl at home with Cassie babysitting and SG-1 going their separate ways…

Daniel stumbled into him before straightening up and smiling goofily – definitely tipsy already. "This is a great party!"

"The celebrations are indeed well organized and most enjoyable," Teal'c, who'd followed Daniel with their tray of drinks, said, showing a rare smile.

"I thought you didn't have anything to do with it?"

Jack could tell from the look Sam was giving him that she hadn't believed him the first time he said it and wouldn't buy it now either. Damn. "Well, I may have given Walter some instructions."

She chuckled and took two beers off Teal'c's tray, handing him one and taking a sip from the other herself. "The bunting is very you."

"I told him no bunting," he said, scowling at the decorations on the wall.

"O'Neill, did you instruct Sergeant Harriman to include baked goods as well?"

"I did," Sam said.

Jack looked over his shoulder to follow Teal'c's line of sight and let out a contented sigh at the cake that was being brought to the center of the room. He held up his beer and quirked a brow, "Ahh, beer and cake. My two favorite foods."

Walter called for everyone's attention but to Jack's surprise it was Hammond who stepped up and turned in their direction. "I would like to thank three of the finest men I've ever met for their efforts in keeping everyone safe. They went above and beyond the call of duty and have shown us what true loyalty, bravery and fearlessness are…"

Sam leaned into Jack's side as Hammond continued, talking about the first time he met them, mentioning some of their accomplishments – although censored because they were in public – and how they had changed over the years and the effect they'd had on others. It was a nice speech, Jack thought. A little too long for his taste but then he'd never been one for speeches.

Everyone erupted in cheering, applause and some of the Marines were whistling when Hammond concluded his speech. "Now, I believe Colonel O'Neill has been waiting impatiently all night for a slice of this wonderful cake," Hammond said, gesturing at the treat. "It's with great pleasure that I give SG-1 its final order: Colonel O'Neill, Doctor Jackson, Teal'c, join me up here and say a few words."

"Speech, speech, speech!" Someone called out.

Jack scanned the room and quickly ID-ed Ferretti as the one calling for a speech. Clearing his throat, he waited until everyone looked at him to speak. "And my final act as team leader of SG-1 is to give our resident linguist the floor for an obviously much wanted speech. Daniel?"

Daniel stumbled forward as Teal'c gave him an unceremonious shove in the right direction. "Oh, well, um…" He stammered a little and took his glasses off, fiddling a bit with them, before looking up at the sea of people. "Over four years ago, I was approached by a woman called Doctor Langford…"

Jack caught Sam's gaze as Daniel started at the very beginning of the adventure that brought them all here and shared a smile with her. She'd already been brought aboard Project Giza at the time, he recalled from reading her file. That was a long time ago though, and a lot had happened. He took a swig of beer and wrapped his free arm around Sam's waist, pulling her into his side. She came easily, resting her head on his shoulder while listening attentively to Daniel's story. Jack was only half listening, well aware that he wouldn't be able to top Daniel's speech, and buried his nose in her hair. They hadn't kept their relationship a secret on base per se, but they hadn't flaunted it either – now that he wasn't officially Hammond's 2IC anymore and would soon spend at least seventy per cent of his time training recruits elsewhere, he felt more at ease with showing his affection to Sam among their coworkers.

"… and I'll really miss it," Daniel said. "I won't be gone forever though, as Abydos' ambassador to, um, the SGC, I'll come by regularly and I'll always be available if my expertise is required. I'm just a, er, phone call away."

People chuckled at Daniel's censoring, especially when he cast a furtive glance at the bar. Walter had made a deal with the owner to close the place for their private goodbye party, but the staff weren't from the SGC and even if they were such classified things couldn't be freely discussed in public.

Teal'c took a step forward and easily commanded everyone's attention with his mere presence even before he opened his mouth. He spoke of his decision to change sides and his surprise that he was welcomed – by most – when he returned with Jack. How they'd all fought side by side to defeat a common enemy but that it was now time for him to return to his people. "My people are free and although our ways differ from yours, I learned much from each and every one of you. I wish to extend my sincerest gratitude to you all." He bowed deeply, in that customary and almost regal way the Jaffa had, but then he straightened and looked from Hammond to Jack and placed his fist over his heart. "It was an honor serving with you."

As always, Teal'c was brief and to the point. Jack let go of Sam with a final squeeze and walked up to his friend. "The honor was mine, T."

They did the Jaffa forearm shake and clasped the other's shoulder. "We will always remain brothers, O'Neill."

"Yeah, we will," he affirmed. Daniel was one of his best friends as well, but the bond he shared with Teal'c was different. They were true brothers-in-arms, both having seen and done too many despicable things for God and country, albeit in different ways.

Teal'c then moved onto Hammond and saluted in the same way he'd also done on his very first mission as a member of SG-1. The General smiled slightly and returned the salute, despite it not being protocol. "Our door is always open, Teal'c."

Then, all eyes turned to Jack. Grimacing, he made his way over to the center of the room and stepped up next to his CO. He hadn't really prepared anything, mostly because he'd hoped to get away with saying nothing at all. "I'm a man of very few words and since many of you know how much I love speeches, I'll keep this short," he started and looked around the room, at all the attentive men and women surrounding him. He recognized most of the faces from off-world missions, training exercises, briefings, meetings, infirmary stays and just wandering the halls of the SGC. "I wish I could say I didn't owe anything to anyone. But the truth is, I wouldn't be standing here if it wasn't for the courage and support of each and every one of you.

"The past four years we've seen and done some unimaginable things and I couldn't have asked for finer men and women to have my six." He paused for a moment, glancing at the smiling and relaxed faces surrounding him. It was a side of them he wasn't used to seeing, but he liked seeing his people enjoy themselves after all the sacrifices they'd all made over the years. He glanced at Sam before he continued, "And in conclusion, I'd like to say… that there's cake. Not my idea this time!"

Laughter erupted among the men and women from the SGC, most of them undoubtedly familiar with his sweet tooth, and Hammond beckoned Walter over to do the honors.

Jack managed to get hold of two plates – Walter didn't even ask him if they were both for him – and walked over to Sam, but got stopped along the way by several people thanking or congratulating him with his reassignment. By the time he got to hand Sam her plate, the frosting was starting to look a little sad, but hey, it was cake.

"That was a nice speech," she said around a mouthful of cake. "I also liked Daniel's censored retelling of some of your missions."

He nodded as he shoved a forkful of cake into his mouth. "He's good at that."

"I'm sure the Abydonians will love it," she said. "Cultures like that are usually very fond of storytelling."

Accepting the beer she pushed his way, Jack took a swig to wash away the cake. "Yeah, they're into that sort of thing. I, for one, won't miss Daniel's monologues," he said, just loud enough for Daniel to overhear as he came over to join them.

Daniel rolled his eyes and plopped down on an empty barstool. "Very funny, Jack."

"You sobered up quickly."

"I may have forgotten to eat dinner, the cake helped," he confessed. "I was going over this text SG-"

Jack made a dismissive wave with his hand, "Yeah, yeah. I actually don't want or _need_ to know, not anymore. God, my life will be so much easier now."

Sam scraped off the remainder of her frosting and offered it to Jack – and he gladly took it – while Daniel frowned at the two of them. "Do you want the rest of this slice, Daniel? Might help you feel better."

"That was a nice speech, Jack," Ferretti said as he came up from behind them. Then he looked at Daniel, who was starting to dig into Sam's leftover cake. "You too, Doc."

Dixon and some others followed. "Yeah, those were nice words. Four years, damn. That's a long time," he said.

"So, think we can vacation to Abydos some time, Doctor Jackson?" Casey asked as he took a seat next to Daniel.

"Um, I don't know," Daniel said, looking up. "You'd have to ask permission from the General-"

"Sure Casey, you go vacation in a primitive desert," Ferretti teased, slapping him on the back. "I'm sure the good Doctor can spare you a mastadge and maybe a tent."

Casey patiently waited until they'd all finished laughing to make his comeback, "Hey, I've seen those native girls. And look at Doctor Jackson's wife! I'd gladly suffer heatstroke for a girl like that. Right, Colonel O'Neill?"

Jack chuckled and exchanged glances with Sam, before looking back to the young airman. "Sure they're pretty. But the sand," he made a face, "it gets everywhere."

" _Everywhere_ ," Dixon emphasized, as he pointed his beer bottle at Casey. "Shelly and I honeymooned to a tropical beach. Trust me, you don't want that…"

"You'll be staying on this end, right Jack?" Ferretti asked, looking between him and Sam as if to point out their relationship.

He nodded, "Yeah, gonna be training recruits. Don't you worry, Lou, I'll be back with some new kids for you to break in."

"I doubt they'd need much breaking in after you've put them through the wringer, Jack," Dixon said, shaking his head.

"If there'll be any left standing at all," Ferretti chimed in, grinning. Then, he turned serious. "Jokes aside, I think it's a great idea. We need the best of the best, but we rarely have time to prepare them by the time we need them. The Academy or even years in black ops isn't the same."

Dixon waved his beer bottle around again, indicating Sam and Jack. "As you two probably already know, my wife wants to have another kid. So, maybe, by the time number four gets here, I'll be ready to retire from the field as well. Don't suppose you'll need some help getting those recruits in shape, eh?"

Jack shrugged, "Hey, you never know."

"With the Goa'uld gone, the galaxy will be a hell of a lot safer. We'll probably get more teams solely to explore and some geek squads…" Ferretti's eyes widened almost comically as he realized what he said and he sent an apologetic look to Sam, then Daniel, "No offense."

"None taken, Sir," Sam said, smiling.

Before he could reply, Teal'c and Master Bra'tac joined them. Bra'tac had returned to Earth with them from Thor's ship to continue to negotiate an alliance with Earth. He kept in contact with Shen'ems and Moac with one of those little orb thingies. And apparently, he'd decided to come to the party tonight. Jack didn't know who'd gotten the Earth outfit for Bra'tac, but he fit in more than Teal'c usually did with his outlandish clothes.

" _Tek'ma'te_ , _Sām_ ," Bra'tac said, holding out his arm to Sam.

She grabbed his forearm and inclined her head, " _Tek'ma'te_ , Bra'tac."

The guys all mumbled a greeting to Bra'tac and Teal'c before leaving their table, probably figuring it was becoming a little too crowded.

The old Jaffa smirked and turned to Jack, "O'Neill."

"Bra'tac, welcome to our little shindig."

"A celebration for your accomplishments, hm?"

"And a, um, goodbye party," Daniel chimed in. "Teal'c is leaving for the Rebel Jaffa and I'm going back to Abydos."

Bra'tac clasped Daniel's shoulder and narrowed his eyes. "Soon, the Goa'uld will be no more. Your wife and the boy need you now."

Jack thought that sounded oddly like approval from the man who thought Jaffa warriors leaving their families to fight a war for their God was normal. Then again, Bra'tac had seen up close what Sha're went through with Amaunet and Apophis, and he'd helped find Shifu. Not to mention how he'd taken care of Jack's own child when Sam and Ife had been living off-world. "Let me guess, Jaffa don't do parties?"

"Once we have defeated all Goa'uld and retaken Dakara, home of the Jaffa, we will celebrate. You may join us to experience a true Jaffa feast."

"That would actually be very interesting," Daniel said, in that wondrous tone of voice he had.

Bra'tac simply inclined his head and turned back to Jack. "Teal'c tells me you will be a warrior no more."

Jack shrugged indifferently. "I suppose you could say that. The back and knees aren't all that anymore, you know."

"You will become _Sbai_ , hm?"

"It means wise man," Sam supplied when Jack turned to her for clarification. "A teacher or instructor."

Teal'c seemed to agree, "All Jaffa Masters are _Sbai_."

Jack exchanged a quick and surprised glance with Daniel, before nodding in response to the Jaffa Master in front of him. "Um, yeah, I guess. Someone's got to teach the recruits who to piss off and how to charm their way out of danger."

"Indeed," Bra'tac said, eyes crinkling. "Before, old warriors would die for lack of a new _prim'ta_. Now, perhaps the experienced warriors can guarantee _chal'tii_ are well prepared for a life without false gods."

"That sounds like a plan."

Bra'tac smirked and clasped Jack's forearm. "You accomplished what we could not, O'Neill. And for that the Rebel Jaffa owe you a debt of gratitude."

Jack returned the gesture, "It was a team effort, really. But hey, I'll take what I can get."

"Hmm." Bra'tac huffed and turned to Sam. "Tomorrow you will bring the _sefi_ before I take my leave, hm?"

"I will," she said. "Ife's excited about seeing you again."

The old coot actually smiled, clearly Ife had wrapped him around his little finger too, Jack thought. Sam had already discussed it with him and he'd agreed to take Ife to see Bra'tac. Hammond had approved the visit as well, which could coincide with a check-up by Fraiser in the infirmary. The initial request from the old Jaffa Master had surprised Jack before reminding himself that Bra'tac had taken care of Ife since before she'd been born.

"Master Bra'tac, Teal'c." General Hammond joined their table and nodded in greeting to the others. "I believe it's time we return to the SGC to finalize our treaty agreement."

The two Jaffa and Hammond all bade them goodnight, leaving just Sam and Daniel with him. "We should probably go mingle," he muttered.

Sam smiled brightly at him, her blue eyes practically shining with mischief. "Actually, I just spotted a pool table over there. Do you want a rematch?"

It took him a moment to realize she was referring to the night they met for the first time. A grin broke out on his face at the challenge, "Yeah sure, you betcha."

"We'll be back later, Daniel," Sam said, before pushing off the barstool and heading into the direction of the pool table.

Jack heard Daniel say something about catching up with someone but he wasn't paying much attention, his focus on the woman he was following and the way her hips swayed. She was wearing jeans and they drew attention to her long legs and perfect ass. She turned around to hand him a cue stick, smirking as if she knew exactly where his gaze had been lingering. "I haven't played in years," he admitted, not since that night.

"I've been told it's just like riding a bike." Her tone was flirtatious but low enough that it was clearly for his ears only.

He couldn't help but watch her as she took up position. The low light brought out the gold in her locks and the way the jeans stretched over her ass… He cleared his throat and tore his gaze away, quickly scanning the room to see if anyone had noticed him blatantly checking her out. Not that there was anything wrong with it, they were together after all. Most of the personnel were off to the sides, but they were definitely being watched. Sighing, he returned his attention to the pool table, only to find her blue eyes settled on his face.

Sam quirked an eyebrow. "You gonna stand there observing everyone all night or do you wanna play a game?"

 

The End

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That is it! The Survival Series has come to an end, after about a year and a half. Wow. I could not have foreseen it would take me this long to finish writing it, although I knew from the start that it would be four parts, each taking the place of a season from the show. It turned out better than I'd hoped and I couldn't have done it without my awesome beta, Amara D'Angeli, and all my faithful readers and reviewers. A huge thank you to all. I hope you enjoyed this journey as much as I did. I would love to hear from you, good or bad.
> 
> On another note: don't forget to nominate your favorite fanworks (fanfiction, fanart, fanvids) for the Sam and Jack Multimedia Awards! The nomination period is open through October 15th. You can submit noms and check out past nominees/winners on http://www.samandjackawards.com

**Author's Note:**

> The timeline for the Survival Series is available [here](http://www.tiki-toki.com/timeline/entry/311269/Survival-Series) , in case you need to refresh your memory. I will update it along with the story (a day or two after every new chapter), so there's no need to worry about spoilers.


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